Author's Note: So. We meet again. I do hope that you like this, because I had to reread like all the books to get the details right. Which, wasn't really that bad. But still! Read it!
"Okay. So, when I was twelve, weird things started happening to me. Well, they happened before that, I just didn't notice them as much.
"On a school field trip, my math teacher, who hated me, pulled me aside and gave me this weird talk, asking me how I thought I would evade detection and stuff. Then she turned into an evil hag of a grandmother with bat wings, claws, and eyes like coals. Then, my latin teacher threw me a pen that turned into a sword, and I vaporized my math teacher."
I stared at him like he was nuts. Reading my expression he laughed and continued,
"Yeah, I thought I was crazy too. Later, everyone at the school acted like they didn't know who the math teacher I had killed was. Then, on the busride home, these three old ladies running a fruit stand were knitting there giant socks, and I mean giant. Then they snipped this thread all the while looking at me really pointedly. My friend Grover, who turned out to be the same Grover who brought Annabeth and Luke to Camp Half-Blood, seemed really worried.
"That night, there was a hurricane on the beach where I was with my mom. Grover showed up at our door, which was when I learned Grover was a satyr. My mom tried to drive us to Camp Half-Blood, but our car was knocked off the road. The Minotaur had tracked me down and attacked us. He...he killed my mother...sort of." A normal person would have been confused by the sort of, but I got it. "Then I killed it by...ripping of one of its horns and stabbing it in the belly. That sounded a lot more violent than I meant it to.
"Then, at camp, during a capture-the-flag game, a hellhound, which is like a giant black mastiff, attacked me and almost killed m. It was found that I am a son of Poseidon, so technically, I shouldn't be alive. Especially with my luck.
"Our camp director, Dionysus, offered me a choice. I could go on a quest to retrieve Zeus's masterbolt, or be turned into a bottlenose dolphin. The masterbolt is what Zeus uses to make all lightning bolts," he explained. "Really not much of a choice there, so I went on the quest. I took Annabeth and Grover with me, and we were off on our quest to the Underworld."
"The Underworld!" I gasped. "And you made it back? I thought that was impossible in the myths."
"Well…" Annabeth said hesitantly. "It was pretty much unprecedented, but we got lucky, I guess."
"Anyway," Percy continued. "For some reason, I was suspected of kidnapping my mother, and I was wanted for the entire period of the quest. Then, when we visited to Arch, Echidna, the mother of all monsters got me alone and had her Chimera attack me. I ended up jumping out of the Arch into a river to save my life. Of course, mortals saw it as a terrorist attack by me.
But, after that, when we made it to the Underworld, we found out that Hades's Helm of Darkness had been stolen as well as Zeus's masterbolt. We escaped from the Underworld using a gift from my father and I ended up fighting Ares, who had tried to "help" us on our quest. Thankfully, even though he was the god of war, I made him mad enough and hurt him enough that he left me alone, so I survived. Of course, then his children hated me, but I was okay with that.
When we had returned Zeus's masterbolt and Hades Helm of Darkness, we came back to camp and related all that had happened in our quest. The boy that Annabeth met on the streets, Luke, had become head counselor. He invited me into the forest to do some training. When we were refreshing ourselves with some drinks, he summoned a pit scorpion from Tartarus and sicked it on me. It was then I learned he was a traitor who served Kronos, the Titan king, who was trying to rise from Tartarus. After he disappeared, I managed to cut the scorpion in half, but not before it stung me. Pit scorpion venom is extremely poisonous, so I was lucky there were naids nearby who brought me to help."
I looked at him in astonishment. "All that happened in-how many days?"
"Oh...nine or ten." Percy replied.
"You forgot Medusa, the Furies on the bus, and the Hotel Lotus Casino," Annabeth chided Percy.
"Well, if I told him everything, we'd be here forever.
"Over the next couple years, we did a lot, including getting turned into guinea pigs (although that was just me), fighting a giant cyclops, holding the weight of the sky (which literally gave us gray hair for like four years), going into the Labyrinth, fighting a battle at camp Half-Blood, watching Kronos get hit in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush, accepting the curse of Achilles (although that was also just me), and fighting an enormous battle against all the forces of Kronos with forty to fifty demigods."
"Um," I said. "That's kind of a lot."
"Ha!" Annabeth laughed. "You have no idea. Just wait until you've been living this life for a few years."
PS: There's more. I promise.
