6)A new family
"I think I should talk about this with Renee," I voice my thoughts.
"Good idea! Maybe she can talk some sense into you!" Rose sneers.
"Rosalie, please. I don't like this either but Edward has really only Bella's best interests at heart."
Esmé defends me. A part of me feels guilty when I hear the disappointment in my mother's voice. I need them to understand I did not want them to be hurt.
"I'm really sorry, but please try to understand, what if something went wrong? What if she fell and started to bleed? What if one of us would hug her just a little too hard? I would never forgive myself if she got hurt because of one of us. I don't want her life to be in constant danger." Everyone thinks about what I said and eventually even Rosalie decides I'm right.
At that exact moment I hear noises coming from Bella's stomach. She's hungry. I barely get the chance to even think about asking Esmé to make Bella some milk when Alice flies to the kitchen and a minute later she's back. I look at her with questioning eyes.
"I saw she would want to eat soon so I had Esmé and Rose preparing some milk for her." She explains. "It stinks." She ads holding a hand for her nose while offering me the bottle. I want to hand Bella and her dinner over to Esmé but she shakes her head. "You should do it Edward. For now, you are her guardian after all. I and Rose will take care for her when you speak with Renee if you wish."
I hesitate. Will I leave Bella here when I discuss the situation with Renee?
"I'll wait with that till tomorrow," I start when I'm interrupted by a very inpatient Bella. Well I can't blame her. I've kept her waiting for her milk while holding the bottle in front of her nose.
"Sorry sweetheart, here you go," I coo at her giving her her milk.
"Well, ehm, like I said, I'll wait till tomorrow, Renee needs her rest too. And well… Bella needs to sleep tonight as well." I decided. I'm not delaying, I'm being thoughtful… okay maybe I am. But my arguments where descent.
I look down to Bella who's eagerly drinking her milk. I'm already nervous for when I have to make her burp. It'll take a lot of concentration. Will I kill her? No I have to trust myself whit her. Otherwise I won't be able to keep her with me for one more minute. Let alone the 11 years Alice is envisions.
Not that it'll come so far… a strange noise wakes me out of my thoughts. Oh, Bella has finished her milk. Here we go.
I lay her against my shoulder looking to my mother for reassurance. She nods encouraging.
I take a deep breath. It would be a lot essayer if my family wasn't watching my every move.
Alice luckily understands me quickly ( It might have something to do with a vision of me shouting about them staring at me like at a monkey in the zoo) and told the others to give me some space.
They turned to their own business and I lifted my hand slowly and used just a tiny bit of my force to pat her back, immediately a small burp escapes her mouth and I take her in my both arms again. She yawns and rubs her eyes, well she tries. Have you ever seen baby's move? In the beginning they don't really do what they intent to do.
"Time to sleep Bella?" I ask her. She answers me with another yawn. I smile at her and give her to Rosalie. "I don't know where her room is." I explain, but in fact I mainly want her to hate me a little less at the moment. She smiles.
"In your room," she tells me, I already thought so. I gesture her to bring Bella to her bed anyhow.
A few moments later I sit in my couch looking at Bella sleeping in her box.
I smile as she starts to babble. I wonder if she'll talk in her sleep when she gets older.
I know she'll be a pretty child, she'll be very wanted when she becomes a teenager.
I sigh, part of me hopes I don't find anyone to take care of her, but I know that's wrong. She needs a family… besides she can't have a normal youth whit me. I'd have to keep her away from public as long as she would accidentally let out anything about my family that could betray us. She will not be able to go to school till high school. No, a normal family is what's best for her. Bella's breathing gets uneven. Not in a 'I'm about to wake up' way but in a 'I can't breathe' way. I lift her out of her bed and her breath turns immediately back to normal. Probably a nightmare. I hold her a few more minutes and then lay her in her bed.
But after only five more minutes her breath starts to hitch again. I caress her cheek and hum a soft tune to her. It's a song I've never heard before because I made it up myself a few seconds back. It seems to help her and for that I'm glad. I can't expect a human to sing a whole night for her thought. Maybe I should play it and make a cd for her so they can play it whenever she wakes up.
But maybe that's not enough…
