Author's Note: I had a canon error in a previous chapter. I said Jasper had returned to school with Alice and was reminded from a very kind reader that he had already graduated the previous year. (I'm such a derp derp sometimes.) Thanks for pointing that out, train_lindz!
As for the new chapter, a few words on Charlie...
While I think Charlie is definitely out for Edward's blood at this point (metaphorically speaking, of course), keep in mind that in my story there was no Bella-disappearing-for-days-and-days-because-of-Edward fiasco to really push Charlie off the deep end. In my story, Charlie's in more of a you-mess-with-my-kid-and-I'll-mess-with-your-world type of mood.
Hope you like the new chapter. This one was fun to write.
***
Pain on Pain
Written by Coquette
Chapter Four
The first thing I did when I woke up the next morning was call Jacob.
It was the only reasonable time of day I could think of when he'd definitely be home. I couldn't exactly call him in the wee hours of the morning without seeming like a stalker. It was more acceptable to call while the sun was up – however early that might be. He might be disgruntled that I'd woken him, but a disgruntled Jacob was better than no Jacob at all.
I needed to talk to my best friend. I needed him bad. But there was no answer at his house – not even Billy.
I left a message and slammed the phone down, tears burning my eyes. I didn't know what I had done to make him hate me so much.
So much had happened since I'd last spoken to him. I wanted to tell him about it and find out what was going on with him, too. I tried not to find irony in the fact that the moment Jacob had disappeared, the other part of my heart had returned.
Seemed I was only allowed one good thing at a time.
***
Downstairs at the breakfast table, Charlie was in a mood.
He was also a mess, as though he'd been distracted while getting dressed. His shirt buttons weren't lined up correctly, his hair uncombed, and he had coffee creamer dotting his mustache. If I didn't know better, I'd think Renée had dressed him.
I knew why he looked that way. He'd been up all night polishing his gun collection. I could only think of a single reason why he'd do that.
Charlie grunted something at me that sounded like, "G'morning." Then he went back to brooding and blowing steam from the top of his coffee mug. A beat later, he looked up at me as if he hadn't truly realized I was there. His eyes narrowed into slits. "Just where do you think you're going?"
I grabbed a napkin from the holder on the counter and handed it to him. "It's Tuesday, dad. I have school in half an hour." I tapped the area above my upper lip. "Mustache. You've got a little something..."
He took the napkin from my hand and scrubbed it across his mouth. "Thought you'd be home today."
"Everything okay, dad? You seem a little on edge."
He grunted again – some sort of indifferent reply I couldn't decipher – and took a hasty swallow of coffee. When he burned himself, he cursed and slammed the mug down on the table.
I turned away from him to retrieve a box of cereal from the pantry. I knew exactly what was wrong with him, of course. I just wanted him to get it over with and admit it.
Charlie hadn't mentioned Edward a single time since we'd seen Carlisle at the hospital yesterday – but I knew he wanted to. It was as if Charlie was afraid the moment he acknowledged the existence of my ex-boyfriend, it meant that he had to acknowledge the rest of it, too – that Edward was really back in Forks and back in both of our lives.
I ate my cereal dry, right out of the box. Watching. Waiting. Knowing Charlie was close to blowing his fuse. I braced myself for it, knowing it was better to just get it over with – before he really had to time mull things over.
He lasted another thirty seconds, then he cleared his throat and said, "So, uh. You seen him yet?"
I popped another handful of cereal into my mouth. "Seen who?"
He looked at me sharply. "Oh, don't give me that crap. Who do you think I mean?"
I sighed. No sense in beating around the bush. "Yeah, I've seen him."
"That all you're gonna tell me?"
"There's nothing else to tell. It's none of your business, dad."
"Like hell it isn't. You at least give him a piece of your mind? 'Cause I sure as hell intend to."
My gaze fell away from his. "A small piece, yes."
"Well, unless you made him cry, then kicked him square in the balls while he was groveling, it wasn't nearly good enough." He paused and shifted in his chair, looking vaguely uncomfortable. "On second thought, don't kick him in the balls. It's very painful, and I can't condone that course of action on any male, good or evil. Just key his car or something."
Fighting a smile, I leaned down and kissed Charlie's scruffy cheek. "I'll consider it."
Charlie deflated. "You want me to do anything? I mean, that boy and I are going to have words, believe you me. But there are other things I could do. Impound that sissy car of his. Uncover some parking tickets that may or may not have been fabricated. Accidentally shoot him in the kneecap. They've got this new taser gun at the station, and if you put the setting just right and aim it at his—"
I put my hand up in the air, signaling him to stop. "I can handle Edward, really!"
"I sure hope so, Bella. You're my little girl, and I love you more than anything in this world. I worry about you. Don't you let some boy determine your happiness anymore – good or bad. You hear me? If I see you moping around here again, I'm sending your ass packing to Florida. We clear?"
I sighed and closed the cereal box. "Crystal."
Charlie hesitated, expression softening as he studied me. "I know you're trying, sweetheart. And deep down beneath all the murderous rage, I know Edward only left because he had to go with his family when they left Forks."
I bit my lower lip but didn't correct Charlie's misinformation. He only knew the story the townsfolk had told him about the Cullen's exodus – not the truth.
"But still," continued Charlie. "The way he did it just wasn't right. Leaving you out there in those woods all by yourself. Not giving you any kind of warning and then just cutting you off. Well, hopefully he knows by now how wrong all that was. But, Bella, take it from a guy. If you don't tell that boy how much he hurt you, he just ain't gonna get it."
***
Charlie had a point.
Watching from the window as his police cruiser backed out of the driveway, I pondered his advice.
I hadn't told Edward how I really felt yesterday. I'd chiseled at the iceberg – chipped away a bit of the hurt – but what lurked beneath the surface was substantial.
There was too much uncertainty still between Edward and me – so much we needed to sort through. Yesterday, we hadn't gotten much further than his promise not to leave Forks.
"We'll figure it out," he'd kept saying. "What's right for both of us." And then, after walking me to the door with his hands buried in his pockets, he had left.
I didn't know where we stood – if we were acquaintances, friends, more than friends, or nothing at all. His words gave me hope that at least the latter option was out, but I really couldn't say. I liked to think that we had something, however ambiguous. A wary truce, perhaps.
I had sat up for most of the night – arms tingling where he'd held me – and tried to process it all. I knew I was glad he was back and that I didn't want him to leave again. I also knew he was right about me taking better care of myself, and I vowed to start. Not because he'd suggested it, but because I'd seen myself reflected in his expression, and it had frightened me a little.
Without Edward standing before me like a wet, kicked puppy dog I couldn't be angry at, I realized I was exactly that: angry.
I was particularly angry that Edward was still trying to separate me from his family. But deeper than that, I was angry with him for leaving in the first place. I didn't feel entitled to that anger, though, so I didn't allow myself to truly feel it. Edward was a free agent, and he didn't owe me anything. As much as it had killed me to see him go, that was his choice, and I had to respect it.
I repeated those words to myself again and again.
The anger remained.
That worried me a little. A part of me was afraid that one day all of it might come spilling out. Messy. Raw. Hurtful. I was afraid of unleashing that on him because I didn't know how deep that anger went inside of me or if I would be able to stop once I started. He'd probably never speak to me again once I was finished.
Maybe it was for the best that Edward and I remained distant for a while. I needed to get a grip on my temper before it wedged us even further apart.
***
I shifted my truck into park and cut the engine. Then I stared at the front entrance of my school for five minutes, trying to convince myself to go inside.
I didn't want to deal with it. The questions. The stares. The assumptions.
There was a small crowd of students congregating out front, chatting and catching up while they waited for the first bell to ring. Already, I'd seen two of them look my way, eyebrows raised. They turned to whisper to their friends, and then more of them joined in with the stare-fest. I groaned and lowered my forehead to rest on the steering wheel.
Alice would be there, I remembered.
I sighed and wriggled the keys out of the ignition. The thought of seeing her made everything else worth it.
***
Now that I was a source of fresh gossip, people apparently found me entertaining again. They greeted me in the hallway, came to ask about my stitches, and though I tried to respond the best I could, all of them seemed disappointed when no detail about Edward was included. That was private. They merely shrugged and found someone else to talk to when they realized I wasn't going to dish on the Cullens.
I didn't see Alice anywhere, and the bell rang before I had a chance to really look. But I found Edward right where I expected him to be – sitting at the desk beside mine, hands folded before him. He wasn't smiling, and he looked uncomfortable, like someone was pressing a sharp object into his back.
I managed to cross the room without tripping or making a fool out of myself. I tried to smile as I sat down beside him. "Hey."
Edward looked up at my greeting. The tiniest hint of a smile pulled at his lips, softened the pained look in his eyes.
Somehow that was better than a hello.
I was vaguely aware that the entire class was staring at us, teacher included. If the ground had decided to open up and swallow me right then and there, I wouldn't have minded one bit. I really wanted to get past this part.
Edward didn't have a book, so we had to share. But I noticed neither of us read along as the teacher delved into the lesson. I wasn't asked to answer any questions – a good thing since I wasn't paying attention – but the teacher picked on Edward more than was absolutely necessary. As per usual, Edward had all the right answers, but he leaned in to glance at the book for show. I shivered when his breath stirred my hair – his closeness, his scent enough to daze me.
The teacher said something, and everyone in the class flipped to the next page in the book. I reached out to do likewise – and jumped when Edward's hand closed over my wrist.
I looked at him in surprise as he moved the pad of his thumb across the bite-mark James had given me. Edward looked deep in thought as he stared at that scar, like he didn't realize what he was doing. The scar burned ice cold, as it usually did, and colder still because his fingers weren't exactly warm.
"Psst," someone whispered behind us. "Look. Over there."
"Are they holding hands? No way."
"That's so messed up."
Edward let go of my wrist abruptly. "Sorry," he whispered.
I shrugged it off. "Don't worry about it."
***
Edward and I had more classes together that morning, and after the incident in first period, all of them were beyond awkward. He didn't touch me again. Barely looked at me. Still polite but painfully distant. I was thankful when lunchtime came around. Walking on eggshells for that long was exhausting.
Things began to look up once I got to the cafeteria – the nicest sight in the world awaited me there.
From her old table at the end of the room, Alice grinned at me.
My heart leapt into my throat at the sight of her. Absolutely beside myself with joy, I wanted to run over and hug her – and I almost did just that – but she shook her head in warning before I could take a single step.
Her eyes shifted to her right, where Edward had just sat down in the chair beside her. He looked at me, then said something stern to Alice.
Alice smirked as if his words made her want to laugh – through judging from the look on his face, he hadn't meant to be funny. He'd probably told her to leave me alone. Alice gave me a wink, as if to say, Don't worry. I've got the situation under control.
I watched as she wrote something on a piece of paper and held it up for me to see. "Check your locker," was written in letters just large enough for me to read from across the cafeteria.
Edward snatched the piece of paper from her hand and crumpled it up. Alice looked back at me and put her hand over her mouth to cover her giggle.
I beamed at her and nodded to let her know I'd understood. I'd missed her so much I could barely stay in my seat.
Edward glowered for the remainder of our lunch period, and Alice made faces at him – her cheeks puffed out, as if to mock his pouting. I think she was speaking to him through her thoughts because every now and again, he would say something to her – and it didn't look particularly heartwarming. Alice laughed at every word.
"Earth to Bella," said Jessica, who I didn't even notice was sitting in front of me. "Distracted much? You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"
Her tone was stringent, and I imagined she was only talking to me because people were paying attention to me that day. I chose to smile at her, unwilling to bite back. It wasn't worth the energy. "Sorry."
"What I said was ... Edward Cullen is glaring at you."
Further down the table, Mike's expression grew dark, eyes fixed on the Cullen table. "No," he said. "Pretty sure he's glaring at me. I swear, sometimes I feel like he can hear what I'm thinking."
Across the cafeteria, Alice laughed again. Resisting the temptation to look for myself, I speared a potato wedge with my fork and stuck it in my mouth. It was dry and difficult to swallow – which was great. I couldn't be expected to speak if I was choking.
"You don't care?" asked Jessica. "I mean, I thought... well, I was just wondering if you were okay. You know, with Edward being back."
I chose my words carefully, knowing that Edward was likely listening to every word. "Why wouldn't I be okay with it?"
Angela cleared her throat timidly. "I think it's nice they're back."
"Yeah, well, you're the only one," muttered Mike. He put his fork down on the table with a clank. "Hey, Bella – you and Cullen aren't going out again, are you?"
Jessica scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course, they're not going out. I mean, stranger things have happened..." She paused and turned her eyes toward the ceiling. "...But still. You can't get hung up on him again, Bella. You do remember what you were like right after he left, don't you? Because all of us sure do."
Reluctant nods around the table. No one looked at me.
I took the opportunity to steal another peek at Edward. He was pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes shut tight as if he had a sudden headache.
Alice put her hand on his forearm. She wasn't laughing anymore.
***
As soon as I was done eating, I hurried out of the cafeteria – anxious to get away from my friends and to see why Alice wanted me to go to my locker.
I input the combination and tugged on the latch.
A note fell at my feet.
***
Bella,
I'm reciting the Preamble of the Constitution in my head while writing this note, but Edward still knows I'm up to something.
He's been difficult, to say the least.
I've missed you. Let's catch up after school. Be at the front entrance when the final bell rings. He'll be anticipating something like this, so make a quick exit.
Ensuring my domestic tranquility,
Alice.
***
The rest of the day moved by at a snail's pace. I wriggled in my seat, tapped my pen on the desk, and tried without much success to pay attention to the lessons. When the final bell rang, I glanced at Edward, who wore a look on his face that meant he knew exactly what I was up to.
I eased out of my seat, grabbed my bag, and walked right past him.
I headed outside, knowing without knowing that Edward was shadowing me. I caught sight of his reflection in a window, looking from side to side as if he'd taken up the position of my personal bodyguard. Exactly what he hoped to accomplish by keeping me from Alice, I couldn't even begin to guess.
I found my truck idling at the front entrance of the school. Alice beamed at me from the driver's seat.
"He knows," I mouthed to her.
"It won't matter," she replied cheerily. "But I'll leave that part up to you, Bella."
Before I could take another step toward the truck, Edward put himself in my path with his back to me. "Alice," he growled. "Don't. We've talked about this."
"No, Edward. You talked about it. I was merely talked at." Alice batted her long eyelashes at him. "Aww, big brother thinks he can boss me around. That's absolutely precious. Bella, are you ready to go? I have someplace special in mind."
Edward made an exasperated sound in his throat and spun to face me. "Please, Bella. I'm begging you." He flung his arm out to point at his sister. "I can't control her."
I stared at him for a moment, disbelief and annoyance buzzing in my ears. Exactly what was he going to do? Pick me up and carry me away, kicking and screaming? If he wanted to be a free agent, then I could be a free agent, too. All I knew was that Edward Cullen was not going to keep me from Alice.
"You can't control me either," I said quietly. "Bye, Edward. I'll see you later."
Then I shouldered past him and got into the truck.
***
To be continued.
Author's Note: Aww, I heart Alice. She and Charlie are my favorite characters to write. Hope you enjoyed.
Cheers!
Coquette
