Hi :)

(This author's note will be really long, so if you are in a hurry to read the chapter feel free to only read the part that is written like this. Enjoy :))

So… New update? It is been a while, I know. Hell, it has been four months since I posted chapter 19 and so much happened since then. I visited Nica, Barcelona, Lloret de mar and Cannes with school during the spring break and it was awesome! I believe you have all seen this season finale? (If you haven't yet please skip to the next paragraph so that you won't get any spoilers.) I don't know how I feel about it really. I expected more. Killing Ky seemed too easy, Enzo was kind of a disappointment, Delena's goodbye was beautiful indeed, but I kind of wanted to hear some kind of a dialogue and I just, I don't know if watching the vampire diaries without Elena is for me. I mean I love Damon of course and the last scene with what looked like a post-apocalyptic Mystic falls was really tempting but I still don't know if I will watch season 7 yet. I guess we will see, you most certainly will be informed about it, don't worry. :) Thank god I have the Originals to catch up on during the summer. Anyway what did you think? From what I saw on the social media the viewers responses were quite varying.

Which brings me to the next thing I wanted to talk to you about. You waited for this chapter for a long time. A really, really long time. And I wanted nothing more than to inform you what was holding me back and when will this chapter be uploaded , but didn't want to give you false hope with just uploading a really long AN, because I know exactly how it feels when you get an e-mail that a new chapter has been posted when it's really not. So I tried to come up with a way where we could actually be able to communicate about anything, really, a way I could let all of the guest reviewers know that a new chapter was posted and inform you if a time like this when I won't be able to post anything for a while will come again. A place where we would be able to connect more. So I made myself a site on Tumblr, learned how to use it (approximately) and started using it frequently. That means that you can, from now on you also find and ask me anything even if you don't have a Tumblr profile yourself here: (please remove all of the spaces before copying this into your browser)

On that note… I am really sorry I had to keep you all waiting for so long for this chapter. Right at the time my schedule was packed with exams I got sick for like two weeks, so I was once again behind both on school work and getting all of my grades on time. It was fine thought, I got back into the system quickly, working hard and it seemed like everything will go as planned… Until I got sick AGAIN, wasn't able to go to school for over a week, got my antibiotics back (double dose this time) and was really worried that I won't be able to finish the school year when my classmates would and will have to extend it far into summer holidays…Yet I worked my ass off, was sitting behind my desk at home for days doing nothing else but study and somehow did it. With really good results if I may add, so I celebrated with inviting a few of my friends at our family country cottage for a week and spend the next one writing this chapter for you guys ;), well kind of.

The first half was written part by part in March and April, and the second half was written during the last few days. As you can see there was a bit of a break there, longer than ever before so I was a little rusty at first, but I think that after a few tries it all turned our well. Ready for the second meeting, everyone?

Dig in!

With love,

AGirlThatDaresToDream

P.S: The same meanings remain…

This line … means we are at the same place as we were before but are reading through different POV as before, or that we are still accompanying the same person but there was a time jump in between their story telling.

A full line _ means that we jumped to the POV of a person who is elsewhere than the person we were reading trough before, but what he or she is doing is happening at the same time, parallel with what is happening to the person we were accompanying before. Or are reading the same persons POV than before but he is in another place and there was a time jump from what we were reading before and what we are reading now.

The parts of the story that are written like this are flashbacks.


Chapter 20

Damon's hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, knowing that with every turn he took, every damn meter of the old, bumpy, dusty macadam road the car staggered over was bringing both him and the girl closer to the destination of the meeting, closer to their goodbye. He thought about turning around once every ten minutes, truthfully, knowing that would be their only option, convincing himself that he would be able to get Elena out of here safely, on his own, not letting anyone else even lay eyes on his miracle, yet he knew that was a lie. He couldn't do it, there was no way he would succeed. And even if he could, would it matter? As much as she wanted him to stay, Elena would hate him for not reuniting her with her family. The feeling of entrapment was making him sick, the lyrics of the quiet music that he put on the radio getting lost in the rambling of the car, not helping his nerves at all, so he did the second best thing and glanced at the angel beside him.

She was staring through the side window, seemingly lost in her own thoughts as her eyes followed the dark trees passing by, every once in a while lifting her gaze and stretching her neck to get a better look at the constellations above them. It was strange to see her like that, dressed in a skinny jeans and a purple t-shirt, a grey cardigan in her lap and a pair of Converse on her feet, reminding him of who she was rather than what he thought she meant to him when he first saw her, a young teenage girl stuck in a big mess without seeing it coming at all, once again showing him her strength with how well she managed to come to terms with the situation she was in. It has been a day since she came up with the solution on how to rearrange her clothes to fit over her wings, with only three notches and two buttons creating a hole through which she put them, pulling the rest of the shirt on before buttoning it up, causing her back to be completely covered, but letting her wings to flap freely. He haven't seen her without a needle in hand after that, whether she was joining Gabe in his room watching him test one of his new video games, or just hanging outside on the bench enjoying the warm weather, it was always with her, probably as the result of the unspoken goal she set herself, that all of the stuff she owned now will be transformed before she sees her family again. It wasn't long before he offered his help, surprising her with the skill he hasn't used in the past hundred years at least, which led to her unknowingly rewarding him with her laughter at Gabe's failed attempts as she tried to teach him what she said was the task every man was supposed to know how to master, surprising him with her patience yet again.

A small smile lingered on his lips at the memory.

He could still feel the hug she gave him after landing back on the pier this afternoon warming him, the way she ran to him after her wings stopped flapping and the way one of her hands found its way into his dark locks as he buried his head into her hair, breathing in her scent and struggling to find words, storing the perceptions of his every sense safely into his memory. The one he will never be able to forget, of that he was sure. When she grabbed his hand and led him outside, telling him she has to show him something before they leave he wasn't sure what to expect, wanting to scream after her as she approached the last board, closing to the edge of the dock, stopping him with a small smile. Her spread wings were rising and falling slowly before she took off, the view of her in mid-air affirming more than one of his speculations. She was sent, she was angelic, but she wasn't here for him. And he was going to lose her.

….

She trembled at how small the silhouettes in front of her made her feel, the old decrypting houses filling her with anything but the feeling of safety as she ran her eyes across her surroundings instinctively, again and again, searching for a place to hide. The openness was what she feared, strangely making her feel like she was under the scrutiny of not only the houses but the ghosts of the people she imagined used to live here. The memory of the last time she felt so helpless- in her room at the CRS under the strict eyes of Elijah Michelson- taking over her senses. She was able to feel the darkness lurking on her as if it was considering to take her or not before wrapping itself tightly around her small figure, causing her increasing heartbeat to echo through her mind and the breath she was taking to stick in her throat.

"Elena? Are you OK?" She blinked, snapping out of the spiral of feelings and thoughts, meeting a pair of bright blue worry filled eyes, the concern in the vampire's voice more than evident.

"I am fine…I... I just… What is this place?"

"Oh, god." His eyebrows raised in surprize after he stopped scanning the look on her face, his voice quickly turning into obviously played scolding. "Why am I only learning about this now? Didn't you think that the fact that after everything you have been through the one thing you are afraid of is the dark is important enough to share it with me? I should have figured it out the first time you came to me at night. But it doesn't matter anymore, does it? It seems like I will have to get used to the girl falling asleep beside me after all."

"Oh, shut up!" She felt the heat gather in her cheeks as they coloured slightly and - refusing to let him get away with this -instantly got her revenge by bumping into his side quick enough that it came as a surprise to Damon's heightened senses, causing him to lose balance, his laugh echoing through the surroundings as he stumbled a few steps to his right before being able to walk back towards her again, the sight putting a small smile on her lips. "Don' act like you aren't happy with it. Besides, it wasn't the dark I was worried about. Have you even realised how many hiding spots this place has? We could have been spied on from the second we stepped out of the car and wouldn't even know about it!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down now. I didn't choose this place solely because of my sense for theatricality, its protection from our species is one of the best in America! And yes, I can cross its boundaries," he smiled at her expression, jumping in before her next question could leave her already open mouth, closing them for her. "But not all vampires made a pact with the witches."

She threw a short, fearful glance to the demolishing buildings again, before turning back to him, pouting. "It is still creepy."

Well, if it helps to know… It wasn't always like that." He grew quiet for a few seconds as if trying to recall the memories, the look on his face turning into a dreamy one, and when he spoke again, his voice held a tone she never heard before. It was quiet, fragile but passionate, bringing each word to life, painting the sights he used to see in front of her eyes. "It was much more alive once, waking it's residents with the soft ray of the rising sun, shining though the dusty window glass, accompanying them on every step of their way, giving them and you a feeling like it is watching over you even if this was the first time you came here, like it has seen every part of you yet is still able to love you. Bringing you piece. The witches and their families honoured it like it was secret even if they knew it wasn't, cultivating its soil with caution and care, while the children played in its haven, running around, climbing threes as their youngest siblings slept under their tops. The lake a few minutes' walk away and the rivulet which is flowing in it was providing them with cold, refreshing water, the purest I have ever seen, bringing life to the food they were growing as well as a refreshment to its guardians during the many hot summers, before the lack of sunshine caused them to illuminate the night with fires again and then lulled them asleep. I know it probably seems scary to you because of how deeply you can sense the echoes of the people who used to live here, but isn't exactly that what makes it special? What shows its love? It hasn't let go of the memories yet. It still remembers every single movement, every conversation, keeping it locked safely, deep in its soul, keeping it alive, keeping the people that left it here alive.
It is when you stop judging it for its ghosts, accept and fully understand its commitment, that you are first able to take a glance of its beauty."

She kept her voice low, not wanting to erase the charm of the beautiful scenes he created just yet. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Damon's soft smile fell, disappearing as quickly as his whispered reply,
his eyes that were filled with care less than a minute ago turning sad after they stood in silence for a few moments, his thumb still on her cheek, tracing her jaw.

"Elena, I…"

"Don't. Not yet," she wrapped her hands around him, hoping to ease his grief by running her palm through his hair, not being able to overlook how soft they were, her next words comforting, but firm. "I am still here. I am not leaving you yet."

"I am sorry. I just… I can't even..."

"Hey, you will be OK. We will see each other again, I promise."

"I... I will miss you so much." He was shaking now, the words slipping from his tongue with great effort and curtly like it would pain him to have to use them, causing her to hide her face in his shirt as her eyes filled with tears, not being able to hold his troubled look any longer.

"I am going to miss you too." She felt his lips press on the top of her head for a moment, breathing in his scent as his arms brought her closer, the only thing that mattered the intimacy of the moment, before he went stiff in her embrace, making her pull away to look at him confused. His eyes fixed on the forest behind her, his muscles tense and his expression hardening by the second, the shadows of emotions running over his face unreadable.

"They are here."


The silence was so thick Alaric was sure he would be able to cut it with a knife, occasionally interrupted by the soft sounds of the leaves dancing in the gentle night breeze. And yet he could feel the tension emerging from the figures around him in waves, increasing with every soft click his wristwatch made as its second hand moved forward, causing the boy standing next to him to twitch while his aunt stared blankly ahead, hope draining from her features faster than a shooting star he saw disappearing just a minute ago.

If he wouldn't be too worried himself, he would laugh at how similar this moment was to the awfully vivid memory of when he was still in primary school, sitting in his chair restlessly as one of his classmates was being asked by a teacher, the knowledge that the answer he had in mind was correct but he wasn't allowed to share it pumping blood through his veins much quicker than usual. They all knew that what was haunting them was time, yet none of them wanted to share that with another, look at the clock maybe. It would be much harder than if they all just pretended that the questions constantly repeating in their minds weren't at all legitimate. Were they here? Were they coming? Did the vampire lie? Did they bail on them? The meeting should have started ages ago.

He gently squeezed his hand around a vervain grenade in his jacket pocket, one of the small, inconspicuous motions he learned in the last war that seemed to have become stress relievers in situations like this, helping him focus on the job and not on his nerves, yet it hadn't seem to be able to do its job today and he was well aware of why. If something went wrong, they really didn't stand a chance since Jonas presented them with the idea that no weapons were needed because nothing bad is going to happen and while the majority of the group (including himself)didn't really agree with his interpretation, they certainly did with his proposal. As Lynn said: if she was to come to a trading meeting and found a person she was negotiating with pointing his gun at her head, she would be gone before they could even say a word. They were only accompanied by Luka, their second car driver and keeper. If the girl was in a bad state they couldn't have her be stuffed in the backseat between her siblings until they would reach Ethan's house again. Did he tell the same explanation to Jeremy? No. He told him the vampire will leave his sister alone for the sake of getting what he wanted and haven't changed his opinion about the subject since. But even with the conversation Jenna had with Elena three days ago they couldn't know that for sure. And besides, it wasn't only her physical state they were worried about. Psychological wounds can be just as fatal. He, Bill, Jonas, Ethan, even Kylan… They all learned that lesson the hard way.

He glanced to their leader now, even if the oldest of his best friends never wanted to be called that. Alaric wasn't sure if it was because of the fact that they never really elected him or just a sign of his humbleness. The group has always been a completely democratically one. From the beginning when it was just the five of them and till now, when the number of participants raised to eight. All of their ideas were treated equally and then joined into one, final. But even like that they needed an organiser, someone who made sure there weren't any major disagreements or fall outs, someone who knew how to be effective while still laying low, someone with the ability to hold all of the strings at once and still be able to function properly. In everything he did, Ethan met those expectations. Even now, with everybody else constantly glancing over their shoulders and shifting their weights from one leg to another, his back muscles seemed at ease. If Alaric hadn't known him, he would think he was completely relaxed, but he knew him well enough that he was sure that wasn't the case. He was nervous just like everybody else was. He was just trying the hardest to look calm, so that nobody else would panic. With power came responsibilities, and he was aware of that. His body tensed as the others jumped, however, only him and the teacher remembering exactly what the sudden whoosh of air represented.

….

The humans jumped when he emerged from the dark. Literally jumped. Like they would just have seen a mouse next to their leg or something, and he couldn't help but be at least a little proud that he has found a way to irritate them before they even started talking, not feeling guilty even when he felt the painfully familiar eyes of the Gilbert boy bore into his skull, it was his fault too. It was his fault that she wanted to leave, his fault that he was going to lose the only person that somehow managed to make him feel. The one who took away the numbness like it was just a bad dream he woke up from. The one that was important to him. The one that mattered.

He scanned the newcomers. Elena's aunt and brother still trying to hide the shock from their faces, while the two men, were hard as stone. He wondered who the new guy was until the old one spoke. There was no beating around the bush this time; he went straight for the point.

"Where is the girl?"

"What do you want with her?"

»It's Elena who we will be having this conversation with. We talked about this already."

"We didn't. Not detailed enough. And you won't get a chance to discuss anything with anyone until you answer me. It hasn't been an easy task running from the centre you know, I think you at least owe me this as an apology for not being able to do your job right. "

"It was you who refused us first, but then took a chance and succeeded on your own. There is always a risk in making decisions. Sometimes we reach our goal, sometimes we don't, yet the chance is there, always."

He wished he could scream, he wish he could just turn around grabbed the girl and go when he heard her soft footsteps approaching the clearing behind his back. He knew what her words are going to be maybe even before she formed them and there was nothing he could do because that was what was right. What was right for her. "I will take it." She said and for a painful second, he swore he could hear his heart stop.

….

Before he even knew it Jeremy was running, his legs moving with speed he had never been able to achieve before, the amount of energy that ran through him unimaginable. There was only one goal in his mind, a destination not more than twenty steps ahead of him, emotions swirling inside his head with such power that he felt himself stagger. She was there, right in front of him, safe and sound, her dark eyes so filled with moonlight you could say they were shining, her hair gently fluttering in the wind as she tensed, evidences of worry and fear dancing upon her features and he wanted nothing more than to erase them, wipe them off forever.

A sob escaped his lips, not a millisecond before they collided, tears dripping from his face and onto her shirt as they feel on their knees, their hands grapping each others shirts tightly and nothing else mattered except that they were here, right now, wrapped in each others arms. The figures standing above them, the meeting, the danger, the dark all long forgotten in their closeness, the sound of silence only they knew, comfortable to the most intimate aspect. It was the silence that came on the long summer nights, sleepless because of the roaring rainstorms, the one they used to wake up to on Sunday mornings with the intoxicating smell of pancakes and French toast filling their noses. Full of love and acceptance, familiarity, acquaintance, safety. And he didn't even flinch as something soft and white and warm and feathery embraced him and pulled him closer.


Dear DamonPercyRBae:

Hey :)

I hope you haven't given up on me yet and are still checking the story for updates every couple of days… It was probably the site. It happens sometimes, there are so many stories on here that it just breaks down. Thank you for all of your lovely words. You are really sweet too and kind and I am so grateful for your support. I am so happy Elena really got her memories back, even though she is sleeping right now and can't be with Damon. If miss her so much I cannot even imagine how Damon feels right now. I really hope that Nina will return to film a few scenes for the end of the series so that the Delena reunion will be seen on the small screens. Hats down for Sheriff Forbes, she will forever be in my memory. The last connection between her and Caroline was so breathtakingly beautiful and heartbreakingly beautiful at the same time all I wanted to do was cry. As for Ian's episode: he did an extremely good job. You can now click the ask me anything button on Tumblr anytime if you want to talk more and don't worry you couldn't annoy me with your rambling even if you wanted too :). I hope to hear from you soon,

With love,

AGirlThatdaresToDream

Dear sondrex76:

Of course people don't enjoy scenes about suicide! They are usually dark and bring up the themes we usually aren't comfortable talking about, yet it would be wrong of me not to mention the thoughts that people dealing with survivor guilt have to live with and this is certainly not an easy topic. You see every time I tend to write a story of any kind I first concentrate on how to make it as realistic as possible for the world it is happening in, deepening into the characters stuck in what in Elena's case when she was still trapped in the CRS felt like an unexcapable situation. After that it is all about their reactions, personalities and how the changes in themselves accompanied by the outside events will help them follow the storyline I created for them. With hard situations like the one Elena had to go through, though, came consequences. Survivor guilt leading her to the scene I wrote in the previous chapter where a part of her tried to convince her to jump into the water because it was and partly still it a trigger for her, so basically she felt like she should bring another panic attack on herself so that she wouldn't feel so guilty anymore because she would pay the price, which at some point for a short moment brought to thinking about drowning and if it would help too. What bring us back to the point. Surviving guilt Elena is dealing with is a real condition and it can bring suicidal thoughts. Yes I checked everything about the condition before starting to write any part of it, it would be both unprofessional of me as a writer and unjust of me as a human being if I wouldn't. Now I am not going to list all of the signs of or what it causes, if you want to know feel free to type it into google search and you will shortly find a resemblance with how Elena was acting and what was she experiencing. There are more people than you think of in this world who are experiencing the same things, jet survival guilt, suicidal thinking and other mental conditions like depression or post-traumatic stress are the things we really talk, read, write or think about what causes more trouble for the people dealing with them. Yes talking about them might seem uncomfortable and hard, but it could save someone's life if you know what the conditions signs were. In the country that I leave in, suicides are the fifth most common reason for premature death, taking two of the students from my school in the last two years, and there were many other cases that I heard about or that are influencing on people that I know. If we stopped avoiding the theme some much, stopped thinking about it as a taboo, raised awareness, learn how to recognize the signs of someone's anguish and how to react, don't you think we could save them? I could have avoided writing the scene with Elena trying to jump in to jump in the water, or just not write about the guilt she had to live with sugar-coat everything and said that being in the car accident and then being locked in a room for two months didn't leave a mark on her and go on with a story but that wouldn't be realistic nor fair to all of the people who died because of or are currently struggling with survival guilt. So my point is we should talk about it, or read about it or write scenes like that even if they make us uncomfortable, to help others. The sadness or uneasiness that both you and I feel when we are listening about in could once help to save a life of someone we know. At least that's where my beliefs about the subject lie.

And about your theories: I don't want to ruin the story for you by spoiling anything but You might be really close on one of them…

Much love,

AGirlThatDaresToDream

Dear jairem:

I am glad you liked the story so much you read it in just one day and thank you for your questions. As mentioned in the first chapter and then later through the story Damon believes that there is some kind of a god, or a higher power that watches over or maybe even controls the world that he lives in. He believes in some kind of the afterlife and the last judgement he doesn't even spend too much time thinking about which god or power runs it or what does it look like (is it the word for all the supernatural creatures like in the series or heaven and hell) He just believes it does exists. So the answer to your first question is simple. Damon has done many things in his life he isn't proud of, or for which he feels guilty and is certain that he will be paying for it after he dies in what way he doesn't know, but he is certain that somehow he will and he doesn't want that. He also believes that if he somehow redeems himself to this power or god or whatever the guilt he now bears everyday will disappear. So when he saw Elena, he first thought that this was a sign for him that he can redeem himself and then slowly came to the belief that helping Elena will bring him the power's or god's forgiveness. For some time he thought that Elena was simply send here to help him change, but then realised it she must be here for something bigger than that and thought that helping her achieve the goal he doesn't know but is sure she was send here for will gain him the prize of being forgiven. The sign he is/was looking for was the confirmation that she was really send here and that he can still be forgiven. I hope I managed to cover everything for you and that you liked this chapter.

Love,

AGirlThatDaresToDream


Reviews are always welcome ;)