Chapter 9 - Right or Wrong
A few days passed after the rescue and escape and things seemed to be normal again in the city. But Demyx had to leave for a while to take care of some outside business, so Axel and Roxas were left by themselves. They actually hadn't talked much since that night. Now, Roxas waiting for Axel to come back from getting extra money so they could get a place to stay. The young blonde had Axel's bracelet charm on since they left. Axel came back a few minutes later to the parking lot Roxas was waiting at.
"I found us a place to stay. It's not much because it's a spot by the harbor but it will do for now."
"OK."
"Oh… I got something for us to eat. It's a small package of rice balls and it will have to do for now. "Sorry… I know we haven't eaten for a long time."
"It's OK, Axel."
Roxas ate a rice ball and stopped. He turned away from Axel and stared at the water with sad eyes. Things between him and Axel were getting extremely rough. The private ferry arrived and Roxas got up and walked on board, without saying a word. Axel followed him without saying anything. It was already late sunset when the ferry took off. Neither male spoke to each other until Axel said something.
"How long do we continue not talking?"
"Once we get out of here, everything will be fine. I just don't feel like talking."
"Roxas, this is the 5th time you have lied to me."
"I never lied."
"Yes you have. Now tell me the truth."
"No! Leave me alone right now!"
Roxas ran to the back of the ferry in tears. Axel let him go and buried his face in his hands. Ever since that rescue a few days ago, nothing was the same. It had been a week and a half since their fateful meeting, but things between them have only gotten worse. Axel decided to leave Roxas alone for right now but he would confront him later when they got off. When they finally did, they arrived at a small house by the shore.
"Well… this is where we'll live for a while."
"OK… my leg hurts for some reason."
"Come here."
Roxas climbed on to Axel's back as his friend carried the young blonde to the house. He looked at his friend's charm again and then hid it away in his jacket. He would give it back to Axel later. But now wasn't the time. The tall redhead set Roxas down on the sofa as he went to the kitchen to get something to eat for the two of them.
"Here you go."
"Thanks."
The young blonde ate a sandwich while his friend ate some more rice balls. Roxas looked out the window with sadness. Was he even right to run away with Axel in the first place? He didn't even know what was right or wrong and is he just supposed to die in the end? Axel wouldn't let him. Roxas got up and walked to his room.
"Where are you going, Roxas?"
"I'm tired. I'm going to bed."
"This early? I still need to talk to you."
"I don't wanna talk, OK? I just want some sleep…"
Axel let him go once again. He didn't know what was going on. He took out his phone and called Demyx to tell him what was going.
"Hey Axel, what's up?"
"Nothing really. But… Roxas is acting different. He won't talk and he's being completely avoidable of me. I've asked him but he says nothing's wrong."
"He just needs some time alone. And something is wrong… I think it's because he's confused whether what he's doing right now is right or wrong."
"You mean… he thinks gaining his own freedom may be wrong? That means he may want to be a captive for the rest of his life?"
"I don't have the answer Axel. But the best thing you can say that you'll listen to him. Maybe everything will work out…"
"Thanks, Demyx."
Axel hung up and sat there thinking. Did Roxas think what he was doing was wrong? He had to make sure.
Roxas lied there on his bed, with tears on his pillow. He was so upset about what to do and he thought Axel would never understand.
What's the matter with me? What am I doing wrong? I guess I'm not fit to be in that city anymore… Am I supposed to do something right or just continue with the wrong things? What am I supposed to do and I don't think Axel would understand…
Roxas thought about going to the ocean so the tide would carry him out to sea and he would drown, never to be seen again. But Axel would never let him and why not? Why can't he just end his life, along with suffering? There was a knock at the door and it opened. Axel came in to check on Roxas and the young blonde kept his face hidden but his friend sat there by his side on the bed. Axel took his hand stroked Roxas's back gently, as if to comfort him.
"I want to be left alone Axel. I thought I told you."
"Roxas… is everything OK?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are you OK with living on the run, just the two of us?"
Roxas's eyes widened. It's not that he didn't like Axel as a friend. But he was just so confused on what to do…
"Axel… it's not that I don't trust you or like you or anything. I do like you because you have been such a good friend and I do trust you. It's not anything you did. It's just that… I… I can't explain it!"
Roxas jumped from the pillow and into Axel's arms. He was crying so hard and all because of this suffering. Axel held on to him with a tight grip, not letting him go. He wanted to understand and help Roxas. They both let go and Axel wiped away his tears with a piece of cloth.
"I've been saving this for your uncontrollable tears. Now… tell me what's wrong. I'll understand and just remember, I'll be here to listen to you."
"OK. I'll tell you…"
Roxas started a long explanation about what is right or wrong and what he should do: end his life and the suffering or continue to think what he may be wrong for him to do with someone like Axel...
"Roxas… so much suffering for you. I'm so sorry…"
"No Axel. Don't apologize for me."
"Listen to me… nothing that someone chooses is right or wrong. If you think you made the right choice, that's all that matters. So let me ask you something: do you think that running away was a better choice for you than staying"
"Well… I think so."
"There's your answer."
"I thought I was able to handle things on my own and figure them out, but… having you listen made me feel better."
"Just don't lie to me again because I can tell when something's wrong with you."
"OK."
Roxas laid his head on Axel's lap and fell asleep. Axel stroked his hand through the young blonde's soft hair as if to say that he'll be by Roxas's side for a long time to come. Axel turned him over on his back to look at his sleeping face.
He looks peaceful when he's asleep…
Axel leaned in close and softly kissed him on his forehead. He was so close to Roxas's lips and he wanted to do the unthinkable but he got control of himself and laid himself on the bed. He held Roxas's head against his chest and was about to fall asleep for the night, except for one thought…
I will not let Roxas die. I don't know what to do about it, but the best I can do is be with him…
The next morning, Axel and Roxas woke up next to each other and they looked at each other.
"Roxas… are you OK now?"
"Yeah… for now."
"Come on. We should get up."
"OK."
Roxas tried to get up out of bed but he didn't want to because he felt so much better about himself now. For some reason, he just didn't want to get up.
"Axel?"
"Yeah?"
"My leg still hurts a bit."
"Come on."
Axel laughed a little bit and picked up Roxas to put him on his back. Roxas was happy and did something he hadn't done for a long time: he smiled. Axel looked back at him and smiled back at his younger and cuter friend.
"Thanks, Axel."
"You know… you lied to me again."
END OF CHAPTER 9
A/U: This chapter was relatively short. And I also started to work on a new fanfiction with Sora x Riku. But that one will be posted after this one is finished. Like always, keep reading for more and don't forget to review and fave!
