This is the continuation of 'Thinking It Over' part 1

I've to admit - I didn't watch PP and don't have the time to watch the entire series, but lots of researching on PP Wikia and the wonderful Omelia GC helped a lot! Thanks to the Omelia GC girls who always readily answered my questions about PP:D

Enjoy! :)


Addison gasped in shock as she saw Amelia standing at her doorstep, shivering and soaking wet.

' Amelia?!'she whispered in surprise and disbelief. She just couldn't believe her eyes. Was this a dream? Sure, she did speak to Amelia on the phone at least once or twice a month and they FaceTimed occasionally, but for the past few months since Amelia had gotten married, they hadn't been keeping in touch with each other often. Addison concluded that Amelia was busy with her newly married life.

But now here Amelia was, standing right in front of her. Something was wrong, she could sense it.

Addison quickly sprang into elder sister mode once she recovered from her initial surprise upon seeing Amelia, taking Amelia's luggage.

' Come on in'. she ushered Amelia into the living room. 'You're soaking wet, damn it! You must be cold. I'll make you a cup of hot chocolate. But first, you should take a warm shower and change your clothes first.

' Who is it?' Jake called from up the stairs.

' It's Amelia' Addison answered.

Jake was at Addison's side in an instant.

' Amelia?!' he exclaimed. 'You're here!'

' Shhh….Henry is sleeping' Addison whispered. ' And Amelia here needs a shower and some warm clothes.'

' You can sleep in the guest room.' Addison offered, as Jake took Amelia's luggage into the guest room and Amelia followed behind, smiling gratefully at Addison.

' Why do you think she suddenly appeared on our doorstep?' Jake whispered standing by Addison's side in the kitchen as she busied herself making hot chocolate for Amelia.

' I have no idea why and I'm not interested to know. All I know is that she came to us for help and she needs us now.' she replied, shrugging.

A moment of silence passed in between them as they listened to the sound of the shower running.

' I'll have a talk with her later. Find out what is actually happening. You can go to bed first.' offered Addison as she set the cup of hot chocolate down on the coffee table.


It was a good half an hour before Amelia finally appeared in the living room, looking refreshed in dry clothes.

Her face lit up upon seeing the hot chocolate.

Addison gestured her to sit down.

' Now spill.' she said. 'What brings you here to LA?'

' I….I need a break.' Amelia muttered, sipping her cup of hot chocolate.

' A break? A break from what?' Addison asked gently. She was curious as to what brought Amelia here, but she didn't want to prod her friend any further than she was comfortable with.

' From Seattle, from Owen.' Amelia admitted.

' From Owen? Why? Have you both been fighting? Last I checked, both of you were happily married.' Addison furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

' Well… we did…we had a huge fight. I… yelled at his face that I didn't want to have a baby.' Amelia blurted out as tears of regret started filling her eyes. ' We were so happy together and were planning to have a baby together. He wanted to start a family so bad. Then I freaked out and ran away like I always do….and now here I am.'

Before Addison could reply, Amelia broke down in sobs. The recent turn of events, the result of bottling her feelings all up inside and keeping them to herself had finally taken its toll on her. Now that she was here in LA, safely in the company of her good friend Addison, she finally felt secure enough to reveal her fragile self.

Addison decided not to prod Amelia any further. Amelia would reveal any further details about what happened when she felt more comfortable. Right now, what she needed most was support and a shoulder to cry on.

She slowly scooted towards Amelia, pulled the younger woman close and held her in her arms and rocking her back and forth as she as she continued sobbing. The sobs turned into sniffles and Amelia began dozing off in Addison's arms. Noticing how tired and overwhelmed Amelia was, Addison escorted her into the guest bedroom, gently laid her down on the bed and covered the blankets on her. What Amelia needed now was a good night's rest.


Amelia woke up the next morning to the sunlight shining through her windows and a bad headache. She rubbed the sleep off from her eyes. It took her a few seconds to recall that she was no longer in her bedroom in Seattle with Owen, but she was in the guest bedroom in Addison and Jake's house.

She could smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee from the kitchen downstairs. Just sniffing the aroma made her feel more awake and better already.

She slowly made her way down to the kitchen where she found Addison busy making some coffee and preparing toast.

Addison gave her a warm smile as she looked up and saw her entering the kitchen.

' Morning.' she greeted. ' You had a good sleep last night?'

' Yeah I did.' Amelia answered, taking a seat opposite Addison at the kitchen counter. She gratefully accepted the cup of coffee and the piece of peanut butter toast which Addison offered her.

' You feeling better today?' Addison asked.

' Yeah' Amelia muttered, sipping on her cup of coffee.

A moment of comfortable silence passed in between them before Addison decided to ask Amelia any further questions. She knew that Amelia wasn't going to voluntarily offer any information about the reason she came, unless she was being prodded.

' So tell me what exactly happened, Amelia.' Addison said gently. ' You know you can tell me anything.'

Amelia took another sip of her coffee and put down her cup slowly, feeling the welcome sensation of warm coffee travelling down her throat.

' I thought I told you everything last night.' she finally answered.

' Amelia- I didn't really get what you were saying last night. You were sobbing in my arms.' Addison reminded her. ' You said something about having a huge fight with Owen.'

' Don't you have to go to work today Addie? And where are Jake and Henry?' Amelia stole a glance at the clock in the kitchen which read 9 am.

' I've called Charlotte to inform her that I wouldn't be going in today.' Addison explained. ' She'll meet up with us for dinner after work. Jake went to work and sent Henry to school'

' So…let's not talk about me now, but focus on YOU.' Addison deflected. ' What happened between you and Owen? I thought both of you were happily married.'

' We were.' Amelia replied. ' Owen really wanted kids. And I thought I was on board with the decision to have kids. We both wanted 4-5 kids. In fact just 2 months into the marriage we agreed to not wait and start trying.'

Addison looked into Amelia's eyes, silently urging her to continue.

' Then, I thought I was pregnant.' Amelia continued. ' I was late- which never happened before. I made the mistake of blurting out to several people at work that I was pregnant before actually taking the test. I was excited, and even asked Meredith how did she tell Derek about her pregnancies. Then she just had to mention that with Ellis, she was let off the hook because he was dead. That sentence itself reminded me how with the unicorn baby I didn't have to tell Ryan because he was dead. It suddenly reminded me of Ryan and my unicorn baby, and I realized that I just couldn't do it all over again. I can't give birth to yet another anencephalic baby, Addie. '

' I know, Amelia, I know.' Addison said calmly. She was there with Amelia throughout Amelia's entire pregnancy with the unicorn baby, right from the diagnosis to the birth, so she knew exactly what Amelia had been through.

Amelia swallowed thickly before she continued. ' That night I took the pregnancy test. It turned out to be negative. I was so relieved when it was negative. Isn't it bad of me, to be so relieved when Owen clearly wanted it to be positive? The look on his face, Addie, he was so disappointed when it was negative. That was when I knew I just couldn't go through this again. I couldn't give in to his hopes to get pregnant and go through the entire ordeal of having yet another anencephalic baby. So I avoided him for the past 2 weeks. Then a few nights ago, I just straight up yelled at his face that I didn't wanna have a baby. The look on his face- he was so devastated. I'm just so ashamed of myself now, I can't face him any longer. I am the worst wife ever. He had been nothing but kind, caring and loving towards me, and this is how I repay him.'

Amelia finally drew in a deep breath after pouring her entire hearts contents out to Addison. She felt a huge burden being lifted off her chest at finally being able to talk to someone who actually knew and understood what she had been through.

' Did you tell him about your unicorn baby?' Addison asked. ' Maybe if you told him, he might understand why you're afraid to have another baby.'

' I did mention it in passing once- but we never brought up the topic anymore after that.' Amelia replied sighing.

' You see, that's the problem. ' Addison said, looking at Amelia in the eye as the younger woman grabbed a piece of toast and munched on it hungrily. ' You should've told him the whole truth- told him everything about your unicorn baby. If he's half the decent guy you're making him out to be, he would understand. If he knew about your previous pregnancy and why you're so afraid to go through that again, he wouldn't force you into a similar situation if you're not ready, would he?'

Amelia remained silent for a moment, contemplating Addison's words.

' Maybe.' she finally said. 'But I just can't bring myself to tell him. I can't find the right words to say to him. I think a part of me is afraid that he might bail on me if he found out about my darkest secrets.'

' Did you tell him about Ryan?' Addison asked.

' Yes, I did open up to him about Ryan and my drug addiction one night.' Amelia admitted.

' So? What else is there to hide?' Addison was genuinely confused now.

' Because if I tell him about my unicorn baby, that he died because of anencephaly, Owen might leave me because he would think that I can only produce anencephalic babies!' Amelia finally replied. " I cannot give him an anencepalic baby!'

' Amelia.' said Addison firmly but gently. ' The risk of recurrence is only about 2-4%, I thought I have told you this before.'

' But what if I'm the 2-4%? You know that the universe is always against me, Addie.' Amelia rebutted.

Addison shook her head.

She was about to ask Amelia how was she so sure that she would be the 2-4%, when her phone rang.

Addison's eyes widened as she looked at the caller ID.

' It's Meredith.' she whispered to Amelia. 'I forgot- she has my number.'

Now Amelia's eyes widened as well.

' Don't tell her I'm here!' Amelia whispered back frantically.

' Hello? Meredith?' Addison answered.

Amelia could only hear Addison's side of the conversation.

' What?! Amelia is gone?! Where did she go to?' Addison pretended to sound alarmed.

Amelia had to stiffle a giggle. Clearly Addison deserved an Oscar.

' I have no idea, Meredith. No, she isn't with me. Have you tried calling the police?'

' I know, I know Owen and all of you are worried. I'll let you know if she is here ok?'

Addison hung up and glared at Amelia.

' Thanks' Amelia said meekly.

' Now there's going to be a Wanted sign of you everywhere in Seattle.' Addison half joked. ' Is that really what you want?'

' I just need time to think. I don't want them to find me here.' Amelia reasoned.

' Meredith said that Owen wouldn't work and has been going around asking every single person in the hospital whether they have any idea of your whereabouts.' said Addison. ' Don't you feel the slightest bit of remorse at that?' she asked gently, trying not to sound too harsh towards her friend, but at the same time trying to install some sense into her.

Amelia pretended to seem interested in the shiny kitchen counter once more.

' I do….I feel so sorry for him, but Addie, I'm just not ready to face him yet.'

Addison sighed, finally giving in. She knew that Amelia can be really stubborn at times and there was no use in forcing her into something she refused to do.

' I just really wanted some time to think' Amelia repeated her reasoning again as she sipped on her cup of coffee.


It was dinner time and she was sitting at a nearby restaurant with Addison and Charlotte. They had just finished their respective plates of steak.

Charlotte sighed as she put her own apple juice down. Cooper offered to stay home with the kids so she could spend some time catching up with her old friend. Amelia had just finished telling her the entire story, repeating the exact details she had told Addison earlier on during the day.

' Amelia' she said. ' Listen to me. Running away from your problems isn't going to do you any good. You're just postponing facing the truth, and it's making things worse. You and Owen are going to drift apart. Right now, he doesn't know the exact reason why you're afraid to have kids. He thinks it's his problem, that you don't want to have kids with him. He's going to be very upset and blame himself. You have to talk to him Amelia. You need to have a good chat with him and open up to him about your past, and your innermost fears. That's what being married is about. Now me and Cooper tell each other everything. That is one of the secrets of marriage.'

' I'm just not ready to talk to him yet, you know? I'm afraid that if I tell him my innermost fears and the exact reason why I'm afraid to have another baby, he would leave me.' Amelia explained.

' But if he's half the decent guy you claim he is, he would understand.' Charlotte pressed on. ' You really have to tell him Amelia.'

Amelia remained silent, stirring her drink with her straw.

' Or do you want me to do it for you?' Charlotte asked, as Amelia suddenly looked up from her drink.

' Do what?' she asked puzzled.

' Fly to Seattle and tell Major Hunt your entire story so that he understands where you're coming from since you wouldn't do it yourself. If he still doesn't understand, I would kick his butt for you.'

Amelia gasped in horror. She just couldn't imagine how a personal conversation between them about her would be like. The worst thing was that she knew Charlotte was a woman of her words and would do exactly as she mentioned. Charlotte revoking her right to operate when she operated drunk on a patient was a perfect example of that.

'I'm scared, Charlotte.' Amelia explained. 'I'm scared that if I go back to him, chances are that I would get pregnant and have another anencephalic baby. I'm scared to death of that possibility, I just can't carry yet another anencephalic baby to term. '

' I already reminded her about the 2-4% possibility' Addison interjected before Charlotte could reply.

Charlotte's expression softened at Amelia's confession. She always had a soft spot for Amelia and she knew exactly what Amelia had been through during her Private Practice years. She also saw Amelia through her addictions and her pregnancy with her unicorn baby.

' I still don't condone you running away like that.' she said firmly but gently. ' You should face your issues like an adult and have a heart to heart talk with Owen about what's haunting you inside. That's the only way you can move forward. But for now, I understand that you need space and time. How long would you be here for?'

' I don't know.' Amelia replied honestly. She really had no idea how long she would be in LA for.

' Well, I'll reserve a place for you at Oceanside Wellness if you want. You know that you're always welcome back there.' said Charlotte, a smile starting to form on her face. ' But I really do hope that you consider going back to Seattle when you're ready to sort out your issues with Owen Hunt. If not- I would kick your ass back to Seattle.'

A smile started to form on Amelia's face as well. She just couldn't wait to meet the rest of the gang again, she missed them all. She was so grateful for Charlotte, who was like a mother figure to her and always gave her tough love when she needed it.


It was a joyful reunion the next day as Amelia returned to Oceanside Wellness after so many years. Many hugs and tears of joy were exchanged as the rest of the gang welcomed her back with open arms. They missed her and she really missed them.

As she exchanged a hug with Violet she spotted James walking in to join the group that was surrounding her.

' Hey' James greeted her casually.

' Hey' she smiled back at him nervously. She knew that they had so many unresolved issues between them after she called off their engagement over the phone.

She was grateful when Violet and Sheldon saved them from having an awkward conversation by pulling her away and leading her to a patient who needed a neuro consult.


The days flew by. Before she knew it, Amelia had already been back in Oceanside Wellness for about 2 weeks.

She was getting used to her new life in LA. She had much more free time, and was leading a more relaxed life. There were less patients to consult , and she could spend more time on each patient.

Her colleagues there were all friendly and treated her so well, always chatting with her and inviting her out for tea or dinner. They were like one big happy family. She enjoyed the shopping trips she had with Addison, Charlotte or Violet during their off days. There was never a dull moment when she was there. She would help babysit Henry, Mason and Charlotte's triplets. She was always surrounded by company. The only person who didn't really speak to her was James, which was understandable considering how she ran away from him several years ago. She did apologize to him one day, and he accepted her apology. Since then, they were on friendly terms but still did not spend time alone together any longer.

Yes, she was happy in LA and was feeling more carefree than she had ever felt for a long time.

But she still felt that something was missing from her life. Deep down inside, she still felt empty.

At night, when everyone had gone to bed, she would lie awake on the bed in Addison's guest room and reevaluate her life. Was this really what she wanted? Did she belong in LA?

Sure, she was happy in LA. Sure, she had many friends and was well accepted there.

Then her mind would drift to the nights she spent snuggled up with Owen in their huge comfortable king sized bed in Seattle.

She would get out of bed, take out her wallet from her handbag and stare at the only reminder she had of Owen with her, a small photo of both of them at the photo booth on their wedding day, smiling happily and beaming.

She had deactivated her Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts so that no one in Seattle could get hold of her.

But alone in her bedroom at nights, her mind would wander to Seattle. She wondering how Maggie, Meredith and the Shepherd kids were. She wondered how the rest of the Seattle gang were. She wondered how was the neurosurgery department coping without her. Most of the time though, she thought about Owen. How was he coping without her? Was he thinking about her too? Was he still waiting for her? Or was he burying himself in his work? Or worse still, had he found another woman to love? Another woman who was willing to give him what he wanted- a family?

Those late hours at night, she was so tempted to get her old phone number back, to reactivate her social network accounts.

But then she would drift off to sleep, and wake up to another full day, pushing Seattle and Owen to the back of her mind once again.


One day, 2 weeks after Amelia was in LA, she was enjoying some downtime after consulting a patient when Charlotte poked her head into the consultation room.

'Amelia- there is someone who wants to meet you' she said.

' Who is it?' Amelia asked enthralled, her heart suddenly racing fast. Was it one of the Seattle gang? Was it….Owen?

Without answering, Charlotte led Amelia towards a young couple sitting in the waiting room with a boy, looking to be about 5 years old.

' They would just like to thank you.' Charlotte said as they approached the family.

' Thank me? Thank me for what?' Amelia asked bewildered. She didn't even know the family.

Charlotte didn't manage to reply as they were now standing in front of the family.

' This is Dr. Shepherd.' Charlotte introduced Amelia to the family. ' She's the one whose baby saved Jason's life.

' Dr. Shepherd! So glad to meet you! It's nice to finally put a face to the name!' the woman said, smiling in delight as she shook Amelia's hand. The man also had a similar smile on his face as he shook Amelia's hand next.

' We cannot express our gratitude towards you. Without you, Jason here wouldn't even be alive right now.' said he said.

Amelia smiled politely back at them and turned to Charlotte for an explanation.

' This young man here, Jason Wilkins, received your unicorn baby's heart. He had been born with a severe form of Tetralogy of Fallot. He made a full recovery after the transplant.' Charlotte said, smiling.

Amelia tried to hold back tears at the mention of her unicorn baby. Standing in front of her was a living piece of her unicorn baby. In a way, he was not truly gone. She put on a brave face as she chatted with the parents and the boy and they exchanged contacts.

Charlotte knew that her friend was putting on a brave front. As soon as they parted ways with the family, she pulled Amelia into a nearby vacant room.

Amelia broke down in tears as soon as they both were in the privacy of the room.

' I just….why do I have to be reminded about my unicorn baby again?' she cried out.

' Amelia.' said Charlotte, putting a comforting arm around her shoulder. ' Your unicorn baby was your past, but he'll always be a part of you. Do you see that? He saved so many lives. He is now living through Jason and through the many other children he saved. How great is that? He's a miracle baby indeed. So please don't push him away from you . Instead, embrace your fond memories of him, because he lives on forever in you. '

' Charlotte' Amelia said suddenly, looking up teary eyed at her friend. ' Can you bring me to his grave? I need to visit him.'


The following day found Amelia standing in front of the unicorn baby's grave, with Charlotte, Cooper, Addison and Jake standing a respectable distance from her, watching.

The gust of cold air blowing on their faces reminded them that winter was just around the corner.

Amelia stood staring at the tombstone in front of her. She hadn't visited the tombstone for 5 years, ever since her unicorn baby had been buried. She felt guilty about it- but she just couldn't bring herself to visit him because it would bring back a flood of painful memories to her.

On the tombstone was engraved the words

' Beautiful unicorn baby.

Lived for 43 minutes but saved so many lives. Forever in our hearts.'

Amelia could feel the tears pooling in her eyes as she read the words. She felt a sudden stab of guilt in her heart at having not visited the grave for so long. She was trying to ignore him and his existence when she in fact missed him so dearly.

She slowly bent down and placed a fresh bouquet of white roses which she had brought on the way to the grave in front of the gravestone.

She stepped back and stood in front of the grave, wiping away a tear.

Her 4 friends stood watching, their hearts going out to her. They knew how brave she was to have gone through this entire ordeal of giving birth to the unicorn baby, and they also knew that this was the closure she needed.

' I'm sorry' Amelia said softly, but loud enough for her friends to hear.

' Mommy is so sorry for not coming to see you for so long. Mommy can't say that she's too busy to come, because she would be lying. Mommy just can't bear to face the feelings of missing you so much it hurts. I miss you so much buddy, you know that right? I really hope you're happy in heaven , looking down and smiling at us. I wish to think that you're in a better place now, a place where there's no hurt, no anger, no pain, no suffering. In a way, you're lucky buddy- you got spared from having to feel all that. I hope all you feel is joy in heaven.'

Amelia closed her eyes for a moment and tried to imagine what her son would've been like. He would've been 5 now, running around and the playground and maybe even playing soccer already.

' Buddy.'she whispered. ' I'll always miss you so much and you'll always be my firstborn and have a special place in my heart. You know that a boy you saved just came to visit me today? I'm sure you would've been proud of yourself for saving so many lives during your short stay here on earth. I'm so proud of you too.'

After a few more quiet moments, Amelia slowly walked away from the grave with tears pooling in her eyes as her friends followed quietly behind.

For her- it marked a closure in this chapter of her life. Her unicorn baby would always have a special place in her heart, and she would always miss him dearly. But she knew that she could not cling on to the memories of him which she buried deep inside. She knew that she had to go on with life. She could not let the fear of having yet another anencephalic baby hold her back from the life she deserved with Owen. They both wanted kids and a family, and the irrational fear of the possibility of a recurrence kept her away from him and this dream they shared.


' So how are you feeling today?' Charlotte asked later that night after she and Amelia had put the kids to bed. Cooper had gone out for a few drinks with some old friends.

Amelia had spent the entire day with Charlotte, Mason and the triplets after returning from the grave, while the others returned back to work. Spending time with the kids helped cheer her up. They went to the park, and had a relaxing dinner at the nearby restaurant.

Charlotte had taken the rest of the day off to be with Amelia, as she knew that her friend would need some emotional support after the visit to the grave.

They were both sitting on the couch in the living room in front of the TV, but barely watching the TV.

' I'm feeling better after visiting his grave.' Amelia admitted. ' I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel relieved and free at last.'

' So this is the closure you needed.' Charlotte pointed out. ' You needed to face the pain of your past and let go in order to move forward to your future. Your unicorn baby is your past, but now Owen and any future children you might have are your future. '

' What do you mean Owen and any future children I might have?' Amelia frowned.

She barely spoke about Owen to her friends.

' I can see the look in your eyes everyday.' said Charlotte. ' You act happy and carefree here, but your eyes betray you. I know that look- it's a look of loneliness, sadness and longing buried deep under the facade of happiness and laughter. I can see through you, Amelia.'

Amelia swallowed deeply, surprised by how observant her friend was, and how well she knew her.

' Don't lie to me. ' Charlotte added firmly but gently. ' You still think about him everyday don't you? You do miss him, don't you?'

' Yes' Amelia sighed, knowing that she had to admit the truth to Charlotte. With Charlotte, she could never lie or hide a secret, she was bound to find out sooner or later. ' I think about him every night.' she added.

' Amelia- your place is back in Seattle, not here. Sure, we're your good friends and you're welcome to visit and stay with us anytime you want. But this is not your home anymore. Your home is back in Seattle with Major Hunt, with your sisters, nephew, nieces and the rest of the Seattle gang.' said Charlotte. ' Please don't get me wrong, we all love to have you here, it's just- your future is waiting for you back in Seattle not here.'

Amelia remained silent as she contemplated Charlotte's words. Actually what Charlotte said was true, her home was not here in LA, but back in Seattle. Sure, she felt happy and welcome here, but there was a part of her missing. And now she knew what it was.

' Now that you've got your closure today, let your unicorn baby be a part of you always, but move forward. ' Charlotte continued. ' Like I said, go back to Seattle to find Major Hunt. Tell him your whole story, about your unicorn baby and why you're so afraid. If he rejects you because of that, give me a call and I'll fly over there to kick his ass for you. Seriously, both of you need to sort things out. Please don't let your past and your fears stop you from a future you deserve.'

Amelia found a smile slowly making its way to her face. This was the first time for the past few months she had felt so happy and relieved.

' Thank you Charlotte,' she said gratefully. She was really thankful for such a good friend like her, who really cared for her.

' So go back to Seattle, sort out your issues and do me proud.' said Charlotte patting Amelia on the shoulder.

' Maybe I should book a ticket back there.' Amelia contemplated.

' Then do it! If not, I'll do it for you.' Charlotte prodded.

' Ok then.' Amelia conceded. 'Let's do it together.'

The next half and hour was spent on Charlotte's laptop, searching for the cheapest flight ticket back to Seattle the following day.

' Done' said Charlotte, patting Amelia's shoulder once the ticket was booked.

' Now go back to Seattle and fuck Major Hunt.' she added as Amelia's face turned as red as a tomato in response.

The next chapter will be focused on Owen and how he was coping with Amelia's absence back in Seattle.

P.s As usual, please do let me know what you guys think. Any feedback, comments, reviews, are very much appreciated! I love to hear from you all! :)