Thinking It Over- Part 3

This is a direct continuation of ' Thinking It Over' part 1. This chapter would explore how Owen was coping with Amelia's absence back in Seattle.

To read about how Amelia is doing in LA, read ' Thinking It Over' part 2


Owen had woken up the next day with a terrible headache. He had downed almost 10 glasses of scotch at Joe's the night before, until Nathan had to drive and escort him home. Now he was having the worst hangover ever of his life.

He turned over to Amelia's side of the bed and sighed. It was empty, reminding him again that she was gone. Gone, with a letter. Gone, just like Cristina, just like all the other women in his life who left him. He already missed waking up to her snuggling beside him in bed and sniffing the vanilla scent on her hair.

The clock beside the bed showed 7am.

He was so tempted to just stay in bed the whole day nursing his hangover and mourning over his wife leaving him, and but he had to go to work today.

As he showered and dressed, he realized that most of Amelia's clothes, and jewellery were gone. She did however leave her perfume, toiletries and several clothes behind. Maybe that's a good sign? Maybe it's a sign that she would be back eventually?

Making himself a glass of water, coffee and toast, he wondered where Amelia went. He reread the letter again. Clearly she needed some time to think- so like Nathan said the night before, they had to give her some time and space. But how long did she need? Where did she go? When would she be back? He didn't know.


By 8 am sharp, he was at the hospital.

' Hey Owen,' April Kepner greeted him as he step foot into the ER. ' You're early today, I thought you're not supposed to come in until 9am. Unless you want me to handover to you and go back early to see Harriet.' she joked.

Her cheerful demeanor changed when she saw Owen's facial expression. He seemed downcast and crestfallen.

' Is everything ok?' she asked, concerned for her colleague.

' Amelia is gone.' he said in a low monotonous tone.

' What?!' April wasn't sure if she heard Owen correctly. ' Gone? Gone where?'

' I don't know, April. She just left last night- leaving a letter saying that she needed time to think things over, and to wait for her to come back.'

' Do you know where she went? How long did she say she'll be gone for?' April pressed on. She had developed a soft spot for the couple, and seeing Owen looking so sad like that made her sad too. She wished she could do something to help him.

' No. She didn't say where she went or how long she would be gone for. I've no idea.' Owen answered as he leaned against the counter, resting his head on his hands. He still had a terrible headache, which was caused by the combination of Amelia leaving and a hangover.

' Hmmm…. think properly, do you know where is the most likely place she would go to for refuge?' April asked helpfully.

Owen frowned as he concentrated on thinking.

' She did mention several times about how she missed her friends in LA. And she talks to Addison and another friend…I think Charlotte a few times per month.'

' So there you have it!' April cried out as if she just had an epiphany. ' She might be visiting them in LA.'

April's loud proclamation caused several nurses and residents to look in their direction.

' Sorry.' April whispered. ' But yes, think about it. She might be there for all you know.'

' Kepner.'

Both April and Owen looked up to see Meredith Grey walking towards them.

' Kepner- the patient in bed 3 doesn't seem like she has appendicitis, I think we'll observe her for another few hours, then I'll reevaluate her again.' said Meredith.

April nodded her head.

' By the way- who might be where?' Meredith asked in curiosity, as she had just caught the end of Owen and April's conversation.

' Ermmm…..Amelia…..she's gone.' Owen answered.

' Gone? What do you mean gone. Gone where?' Meredith asked puzzled.

' She left with a letter.' Owen answered.

He finally took the letter out from his pocket for his two colleagues to read.

' It seems like she needs some space and time.' Meredith agreed.

' So what am I gonna do?' Owen asked exasperated. ' I don't know where she went or how long she would be there for. April suggested that she might be in LA with her friends?'

' I know she's close to Derek's ex-wife, Addison' Meredith offered. ' She has mentioned about Addison several times before. But she has never been back there to LA since she settled down here, so I don't know.'

' Why don't we ask several of our colleagues and nurses who work with her whether she left any message for them?' April suggested.

After April made sure that all the patients in the ER were stable and told several senior residents to page her immediately if anything came in, the 3 of them plus Maggie Pierce went up to the Neuro ward. Maggie looked really upset, she had developed a soft spot for Amelia over the past couple of years she had gotten to know her, and the news of Amelia's disappearance was taking its toll on her.

' What?! She's gone! Whose service should I be on today?' Stephanie Edwards cried out in shock when they asked her if she knew about the whereabouts of her mentor.

' She didn't tell you anything? Hand over any patients to you? Tell you how long she would be gone for?' Owen asked, feeling his heart sink again. He had hoped that Amelia would at least leave Stephanie a message of some sort.

' No! I had no clue that she would just leave like that!' Stephanie seemed devastated as well that the attending and mentor she respected so much would just leave like that.

Dr. Nelson, who always took over Amelia's cases when she was on leave, had no idea where she went as well, when they approached him. She had not handed over any cases to him, but now he would have to take over all her cases, and he felt the beginning of a huge headache. How was he going to cope without Amelia Shepherd around?

Miranda Bailey's reaction was the best of all. She was livid.

' What?! Shepherd just left like that without informing me! How dare she do that! That's so irresponsible of her. I thought she was better than that! So who is going to be the Head of Neurosurgery now?! Nelson?! How about all her long standing patients who only she knows the history about? If you find her, tell her to get her ass back here to Seattle!'

After realizing that Amelia left without a trace, without leaving a message to anyone, Meredith, Maggie and Owen sat down dejectedly at the nurses counter in the Neuro department.

April was paged down to the ER so she excused herself and left. Owen was supposed to clock in very soon, but she knew that he was not in the right state of mind to work just yet, so she volunteered to stay back for an extra couple of hours while Owen gathered himself.

Meredith suddenly remembered that she had Addison's phone number stored in one of Derek's old handphones.

' Ah ha' she exclaimed. ' I think I do have Addison's phone number. Let me check. Wait here'

She ran to the attendings lounge and rummaged through Derek's old locker which she never brought herself to clear up, as she subconsciously still wanted to cling on to memories of him.

She returned several minutes later with Derek's old phone.

' Here it is - Addison's number. ' she announced triumphantly.

' Hello Addison?' she felt her heart beating at hearing the voice of Derek's ex-wife. But this wasn't about them now, it was about Amelia. ' Just wanted to know, is Amelia with you?'

' Oh..' Meredith shook her head, as a silent signal to Owen and Maggie that Amelia wasn't there with Addison.

' Yeah, she left just like that, she wrote a letter saying that she needed some time off. Owen has been looking throughout the entire hospital for her, he just can't work not knowing where she is.'

' Ermm….no it's ok, I don't think it's necessary, she left voluntarily and needed some space.'

' Ok thanks.'

Meredith hung up to face a devastated looking Owen and a disappointed looking Maggie.

' Addison said that Amelia isn't there. She advised us to call the police and said that she would call us back if she receives any news from Amelia.' she announced.

' Then where could she be?!' Owen cried out, placing his head on his hands.

' Owen- calm down. It's not like she just suddenly went missing or was kidnapped. She did mention in her letter that she needed some time to think. Maybe she went somewhere for a retreat, to clear her mind.' Meredith tried to suggest sensibly as Maggie put a comforting arm around his shoulder.

Owen sighed, knowing that what Meredith said was true. Amelia needed some time to think, and he wasn't going to help by searching for her when she wasn't ready to go back to him.

But he was still mad at her for just leaving like that, without informing Bailey or the neuro team or their colleagues. And she didn't inform him of her whereabouts or how long she would be there for.

' Damn it, Amelia' he thought to himself, as he watched Meredith and Maggie walk away to start rounding on their patients. He knew he had to go down to the ER to start his day too, but he wondered how was he going to work if he kept on thinking about her every single second of the day.


That day, Owen found himself busy in the ER with no time to think about Amelia. A drunk bus driver caused a massive pileup at the highway, and all the injured were sent to the ER. He told April to go home to Harriet, claiming that he could handle the sudden influx of patients himself. April reluctantly did so after he literally chased her out of the ER. Actually, during a normal day, he would've appreciated April's help, but seeing that April was exhausted after working the entire night in the ER and judging by the fact that she had mentioned Harriet several times since he started his shift, he knew that it was time for her to go home. Also, although he didn't mention it to April, he really needed to bury himself in work so that his mind wouldn't wander towards his missing wife again.

That night, he came home to an empty house totally exhausted after having tended to casualties non stop the entire day and konked out as soon as he hit the bed.


The next couple of weeks went by in a blur of activity. Owen would arrive early for his shift, bury himself in his work, and go home late. He ate his meals in the hospital, so that he did not have to make dinner or order takeout for one. He would try not to think about Amelia's hearty laughter as she sat across him in the hospital cafeteria, in a restaurant outside or at their kitchen counter during a meal as they exchanged stories about their patients.

He offered to take April's night shifts as well, so that she could spend more time with Harriet, and rekindle her relationship with Jackson. In a way, he felt jealous of her, she was having all that he wanted but couldn't have- a family.

He busied himself on purpose so that he would not have the time to think about his missing wife. It was easier that way, less painful. He didn't want to feel the pain, the hole he felt in his heart upon Amelia's departure.

He spent his nights lying on the hard uncomfortable beds in the on call rooms, instead of lying on the comfortable king sized bed in his own bedroom.

He tried his best to minimize the time he spent at home, because at home, every single thing reminded him of Amelia. Her vanilla scent perfume, her toiletries, the clothes she left behind. Even his own clothes reminded him of her, because she loved wearing his shirts sometimes at home, leaving her scent on his shirts.

He found himself on several occasions calling Amelia, or logging onto his social network accounts- just in case she would answer or update her status, only to discover that she had deactivated her old phone number as well as all her social network accounts.

He would check his email and even his mailbox several times a day for any news from her, but there was none.

There were lonely nights lying alone in the on call room when he would contemplate just flying to LA to find her. Sure, Addison had said that she wasn't there, but what if she actually was and Addison was just covering up for her? But then again, he thought, even if she was actually there, but deactivated her phone number and her social accounts, she was clearly making a statement that she wanted nothing to do with him or the others in Seattle for the moment. She obviously wanted to be left alone. That thought hurt him so bad. He had been nothing but caring and loving towards her, and yet this is how she repaid him. By leaving him just like that. He was beginning to think that he would never find a woman who genuinely loved him. Maybe he was just not meant to fall in love or start a family.


Before he knew it, 2 weeks had passed since Amelia's departure. There was still no news from her.

' Owen, you should really go back home to get some rest.' April told him one evening in the ER, after they had cleared the last of their patients up to the ward. ' Jackson has Harriet for the night, so it's ok, I can work my night shift tonight. You've been taking all my nights shifts this past couple of weeks- I'm starting to really feel bad. Bailey has been asking me today whether everything is ok with Harriet and why I haven't been working nights for the past couple of weeks. I had to explain to her that you actually volunteered.'

Owen shook his head in response. How could he explain to April that he just didn't want to go back to an empty home?

' Maggie, tell Owen to go back home to get some rest.' April called out to Maggie, who had just walked past them after a quick check in the ER told her that she had no remaining patients there.

Maggie stopped in her tracks and walked towards the two trauma surgeons.

She studied Owen from head to toe and shook her head.

' Seriously Owen. You look so tired, pale and worn out. You look like a zombie.' she pointed out honestly.

' Geez, thanks Maggie.' Owen replied sarcastically.

' No, really Owen.' said Maggie. ' You really need some rest. I notice that you've been spending almost all your time in the hospital lately. I go home for the night, and when I return the next morning you're still here in the same clothes.'

' You don't want to go home do you?' April pointed out wisely. ' Because if you go home, everything there reminds you of her. Am I right?'

Owen nodded his head in defeat. There was no use in lying or hiding the truth from his colleagues and friends.

' I know,' said April softly. ' That time when Jackson and I were separated, everything at home reminded me of him.'

' So do you think there's still a chance for us?' Owen asked. ' Do you think there's still a chance of Amelia returning and the both of us getting back together?'

' I'm in no place to judge.' Maggie shrugged. ' But based on what I learnt about Amelia since I've come to know her, I think it's safe to say that she'll come to her senses and return to you one day.'

' I always believe that even if something seems like it cannot be fixed, it doesn't mean that it's broken.' said April, sighing and smiling as she looked up to the ceiling.

' What are you talking about?' Owen asked frowning.

' Obviously she's talking about her and Jackson.' said Maggie. ' Now com'on, go back and have a good rest and a shower.' she urged him, pushing him gently on the shoulder.


He just couldn't do it. That night, after ordering takeout for one and eating alone at the kitchen counter, he found himself lying on the bed alone, reading a journal. He couldn't focus on the journal , he kept on stealing glances at the empty space beside him. His eyes drifted to the bedside photo of him and Amelia smiling widely during their wedding day. His glance went over to the perfume which she had left behind.

He just couldn't deal with this any longer.

Getting out of bed, he turned the photo facing downwards. He grabbed a jar of her perfume, and was about to throw it away, before deciding to keep it in his drawer instead. He needed to get rid of the memories of her which kept on haunting him. He grabbed her clothes and was about to stuff them into a box, when the last sentences of her letter rang his mind.

' I need some space to breathe. I don't know for how long I'll be gone for. But wait for me patiently ok? One day I'll be back, better and stronger than ever. Then we'll have the life that we want. Until then, please be strong. Don't blame yourself. I love you so much, and it hurts me so much to see you hurting. So please, promise me you'll go on with life, but wait for me. Remember, we are worth fighting for. '

He sighed as he sat on on their king sized bed, holding one of her jackets. It was one of her favorite jackets, which she always wore during autumn and winter. He didn't know why she didn't bring the jacket with her, maybe she left it deliberately with him as a reminder of her?

He carefully placed her clothes back in her wardrobe, and walked over to the key drawer, taking out his car keys.


' Do you really want to start looking for her?' Nathan asked, sipping on his Vodka. He was sitting at Joe's across the bar from Owen. Owen was sipping on his Scotch again.

' It has been 2 weeks, Riggs. 2 weeks of not hearing from her. I know she mentioned that she needed some time to think, but 2 weeks is more than enough time to think!' Owen said angrily.

' Ok, first things first- do you know exactly where she is? You don't want to take leave and fly over to somewhere, just to find out that she isn't there.' Nathan reminded Owen sensibly.

' I have a strong feeling that she's in LA. ' said Owen. ' That day Meredith called, Addison said she's not around. ' I got her phone number from Meredith and called again several times, each time Addison said that Amelia wasn't around. But what if Addison is lying to us and Amelia is actually there in LA with her? Amelia had mentioned several times about how she missed her friends in LA- it's totally plausible that she's there. I really can't think of where else she might be.'

' Well, I'm sorry to break it to you Owen, but if she's really there in LA and Addison is helping her to lie about the fact that she's there, it means that she's not ready to see you just yet. And what if she isn't even in LA? Where else should we go to find her?' Nathan asked.

' Do you know that this is driving me crazy, Riggs? I spend almost 24 hours in the hospital now, working all the time. I can't go home, because every single thing she left behind at home reminds me of her. I haven't eaten a proper meal and haven't slept well for the past couple of weeks. I just can't go on living like this.' Owen said, the hurt evident in his voice, as he gulped down the remaining of his Scotch.

Nathan remained silent, observing his friend. Owen looked so downtrodden and crestfallen, his heart really went out to him. The last couple of weeks since Amelia left, Owen had been a pale ghost of his true self. He walked the corridors of the hospital like a zombie, looking emotionless and expressionless. He didn't smile to anyone, or talk to anyone except about work related issues.

The truth be told, he wanted the old Owen back.

' I need to find her, Riggs.' Owen repeated. ' Wherever she is. I don't care if she isn't ready to see me, I need to find her now. Because I don't think I can go on surviving like this. I don't care if she turns me down, at least I can say that I've tried.'

' Ok, I'll go with you.' Nathan finally said.

Owen's eyes widened in surprise.

' You're coming with me? But what about your patients?'

' I'll hand them over to Maggie tomorrow. You tell Bailey and April tomorrow that you're taking a couple of days leave to fly to LA to find Amelia.'

Owen felt a smile creep across his face as he patted Nathan on the back. Even though they both had a rocky start since Nathan arrived in Seattle, he now realized what a good friend he actually was.

That night, Owen felt the most alive he had ever felt for the past 2 weeks, while searching online with Nathan for the cheapest plane tickets to LA.


The next two days flew by in the whirlwind, and soon Owen found himself in a cab in LA. With the help of Meredith, they had dug out Addison's house address from the hospital directory.

' What if she doesn't want to see me?' Owen asked Nathan for the hundreth time that day.

' Then it's her loss. We'll just leave her here.' Nathan answered. ' You're making this effort to travel all the way to LA to see her and to get her back. If she still doesn't see that, well, I'm sorry to say, she just isn't worth all the effort you're making.'

Owen remained silent at Nathan's answer. The truth be told, he didn't know whether he could do that- leave Amelia here in LA. He just couldn't bear to think of the possibility that she really didn't want to see him. That would hurt a lot, it would be like a knife stabbing through his heart.

' I don't even know whether she's here. What if Addison isn't lying and she really isn't here? Where else would she be?' Owen was now starting to freak out.

' Owen, calm down. We'll cross the bridge when we come to it.' Nathan tried to calm his friend down. ' First we need to find out whether she's actually staying at Addison's. Hopefully she is.'

They both remained silent for the rest of the journey, both engrossed in their own thoughts. Owen was thinking about Amelia and whether she was actually there in LA, and if she was, whether she would be happy to see him. Nathan meanwhile, was thinking about Megan and how he missed the opportunity to reconcile with her. At least Owen still had the opportunity to make things right with Amelia.

Soon, the cab dropped them at their destination. It was a beautiful bungalow house facing the scenic beach.

' Such a nice and relaxing place to stay.' Owen thought to himself.

Nathan gave him a reassuring look as he mustered the courage to ring the doorbell.

After a few moments, a boy of about 5-6 year old answered the doorbell.

He stared at the two of them intently.

' Hello?' he finally said.

' Ermm….hello….I was just wondering, is this where Dr. Addison Montgomery stays?' Owen asked the boy, stooping down to his level.

Before the boy could answer, a female voice called out from the living room.

' Henry! What did I tell you about answering the door for strangers?'

' I'm sorry mommy, but the 2 men here are looking for you' Henry answered back ,still staring at them.

Within seconds, Addison appeared at the door, clearly dressed to go out.

Her eyes widened in recognition and surprise.

' Owen Hunt?'

' Yes, its me.' Owen confirmed. ' This my friend Nathan Riggs. We're….we're just wondering whether there is any chance that Amelia Shepherd is here?'

Addison smiled as she put her hands on her hips. She just knew that, despite Amelia asking her to lie on her behalf during her first few days here, Owen Hunt would still show up at her doorstep eventually. However, he was a little too late.

' Well, she left more than an hour ago with Charlotte.' she said. ' Back to Seattle.'


Ok guys, we've reached the end of this chapter. So its a near miss! What would happen in the next chapter? Do stay tuned to find out! :)

Comments, reviews, messages are very much appreciated! I really love to hear what you guys think. Thank you :D