This is the direct continuation of ' Thinking It Over' parts 2 and 3

Thinking It Over - Part 4

' Charlotte- I'm scared' Amelia repeated for the tenth time on the way to the LAX. ' What if he's so angry with me that he doesn't want to see me anymore?'

Charlotte gripped the steering wheel, focusing on the busy road in front of her. She was being a good friend by taking the day off to send Amelia to the airport, but now she had to admit that the massive traffic jam was making her almost regret her decision. She was worried for Amelia that she would miss her 1 pm flight back to Seattle.

She loved Amelia to death, but her friend was starting to wear her patience out.

' Amelia- listen to me.' Charlotte said firmly. ' I know you're scared. But you have to face your issues like an adult. Running away isn't going to solve your problem. I love you- but you're only making things worse by running away from Major Hunt. Like I said many times, you have to go back to tell him everything and sort out your issues with him. Tell him the whole truth why you're scared, tell him about your whole past. He needs to know about your past, he needs to understand where you're coming from. How are you so sure that he doesn't want to see you anymore?'

' Because I left him! Of course he would be mad that I left him. ' Amelia reasoned. ' That's my problem, I always run. I ran away from him just like I ran away from James.'

' But now you're going back to him! See- that's the difference. Right now, you're making the decision to go back to Major Hunt, instead of running away from him forever. You're now facing your issues. You've grown up Amelia, I'm proud of you.' said Charlotte, smiling at her friend as the car stopped at the traffic light.

Amelia smiled back at Charlotte, feeling grateful for having such a good and supportive friend.

It was an emotional goodbye at the LAX as they both hugged each other tight and promised to keep in touch.

' Good luck.' Charlotte whispered into Amelia's ear. ' Tell me how it goes with Major Hunt. Don't make me go to Seattle to kick his ass.'

' I will, Charlotte, I will.' Amelia replied, feeling the tears pooling in her eyes.


Amelia managed to board her flight back to Seattle just in time. As she stared out of the plane window, her mind was racing with thoughts on what to say to Owen when they finally reunite. Of course he would be mad and furious at her for leaving him just like that. But would he accept her explanation? How would she gather the courage and strength to tell him about her unicorn baby and how the entire experience caused her to be afraid to get pregnant again?

For the first time in forever, she closed her eyes and prayed. She prayed to the powers above to soften Owen's heart and let him listen to her explanation and forgive her.

Meanwhile, in LA, Owen was staring at Addison, unable to believe what he had just heard her say.

' She just left back to Seattle? Do you know what time is her flight?' Owen asked hurriedly once he had regained his senses. ' Did she tell you?'

Nathan gave him a quick nudge as a silent signal to slow down on the questions.

Owen's heart was thumping. Amelia leaving back to Seattle gave him a ray of hope that maybe, just maybe, she was ready to go back to him and reconcile with him.

' I'm afraid I don't know.' Addison answered honestly. ' Wait…hold on…I'll call Charlotte.' she offered.

' Why don't you both have a sit first. Do you want a drink or something?' she asked.

Both men shook their head. They weren't in the mood for a drink when their priority was getting hold of Amelia.

Addison made her way to the kitchen where she left her phone, with Henry trailing behind her.

For a few agonizing minutes, both men sat in silence in Addison's living room, Nathan looking around and admiring the beautiful interior design of the house, and Owen tapping his feet in anticipation of news about Amelia.

When Addison finally returned back to the living room, Owen sat up straight, ready to listen to her. He reminded her of anxious family members waiting for her to inform them of the latest development of their loved ones.

' Charlotte is already on the way back from the airport.' she announced. ' She had just dropped Amelia off there. I called Amelia several times and her phone is off. She might already be on the plane.'

Owen and Nathan exchanged glances. It was obvious what they needed to do now- they needed to go back to Seattle.

' Well, it looks like we need to return back to Seattle.' said Owen. ' But thanks a lot Addison, for your help.'

' It's no problem, do you want me to call a cab for you?' Addison offered helpfully. Both men gratefully accepted the offer.


' This is good news, isn't it?' Nathan asked as Owen stared out of the cab window. ' Amelia flying back to Seattle means that she is ready to reconcile with you.'

' Yes, it is.' Owen agreed. ' I'm still mad at her though. She should've known better than to leave me like that. I love her so much, and did everything in my power to make her happy and yet she still left. Like all the other women in my life.'

' Yes, I understand that you're mad.' Nathan reasoned. ' And yes I agree- she shouldn't have left you like that. But surely there's a reason for that- why she's running away. Maybe there's something from her past that she's hiding from you and afraid to let you in on.'

' But I can't possibly force her into opening up to me everything about her past when she clearly isn't ready. I want her to be ready.' said Owen. ' I don't want to force her into something she's not comfortable with. She would withdraw further from me if that's the case.'

' The fact that she's flying back to Seattle now is enough to tell me that she is ready.' Nathan explained. ' If she isn't ready to face you and sort things out with you, she wouldn't be flying back there.'

' I hope so, I really hope so.' Owen muttered.

Their flight back to Seattle was a silent one, with Owen caught in his whirlwind of thoughts about Amelia. He was still very mad and upset at her, but at the same time he was relieved that she finally flew back to Seattle. But part of him still wondered- was she going to find him when she returned to Seattle? Or was she going to stay at Meredith's? Or somewhere else? He loved her and hated her at the same time. He hated her for leaving him, and making him upset in the process. He hated himself for loving her so much until it hurt.


Amelia felt butterflies in her stomach as she dragged her luggage through the familiar Grey Sloan Memorial hospital doors. She had taken a cab straight to the hospital instead of back home, as she wanted to see Owen and talk to him the first thing she returned to Seattle.

' Amelia?!' April cried out upon seeing the neurosurgeon walk through the ER doors with her luggage.

' You're back?!' she squealed, running to hug her.

' Maggie! Meredith!' she called out to Amelia's two sisters who were also in the ER assessing patients.

Both women were by Amelia's side in an instant.

' Where did you go to?' Meredith asked. ' Do you know that Owen was worried sick about you? And Bailey was already looking for a replacement for the Head of Neurosurgery? I called Addison and she said you weren't at her place. Where were you?'

' Yes, Owen wasn't himself at all the past couple of weeks! ' April added ' He buried himself in work and looked like a zombie all the time. He took all my night shifts.'

' Hush you guys, she just came back! I'm just glad that you're back.' said Maggie, giving Amelia a warm hug. ' Welcome back.'

' Thanks Maggie.' said Amelia, smiling gratefully at her.

' April- where is Owen?' Amelia asked, focusing her attention back to the trauma surgeon.

April eyes suddenly widened as she remembered.

' Oh! He took leave to fly to LA with Riggs to find you! Did you manage to meet him?!'

' What? He went there to find me?!' Amelia was surprised. She didn't expect Owen to actually go after her, not when she already mentioned in the letter for him to wait for her to return. It just made her feel even more guilty for leaving him.

' Yes, he did.' April confirmed. ' This morning. He took a 2 days leave.'

' I told him to wait for me.' Amelia frowned. ' Did he seem mad? Anxious? Did he say anything or leave any message?'

' Amelia, calm down.' said April. ' He just informed me that he needed 2 days leave to fly to LA to look for you and that was it. I didn't prod him further because we were busy after that.'

' Ok, thanks April.' Amelia gave April a small smile, but her heart was beating fast inside. What would happen to Owen in LA? Where would he go to find her? How would he react upon discovering that she wasn't there anymore?

' Well, since he isn't around here, I'll go back home to keep my luggage.' Amelia excused herself, ignoring the many sets of eyes following her as she walked back out of the ER doors.


Amelia reached home to find the house exactly the same as it was before she left. Of course it would be, she only left for 2 weeks. Owen's car wasn't around, he probably parked it at the airport.

But when she reached their bedroom, she noticed their wedding photo on the bedside table turned face down. She noticed that her perfumes which she left on the dressing table were gone. Her toiletries were kept away in the bathroom cabinet. Her clothes were still in the wardrobe though.

Those were signs that Owen was mad at her for leaving, but still secretly hoping and waiting for her return.

She sat on their bed and took their wedding photo, staring at it. They both looked so happy and radiant that day. They were so happy for the first couple of months into their marriage. What happened?

It was her fault, she knew. She was the one who freaked out after the pregnancy scare. It was her who was afraid to open up to him and bailed on him instead. So now, the ball was in her court. It was up to her to confess and open up about her past to him, no more secrets between them. No more running, but facing her issues instead, like Charlotte said. She could do this. She had to.

She busied herself unpacking her luggage, having a shower and a nap.


Amelia was about to grab herself a snack from the fridge a few hours later when she heard the sound of Owen's car entering the driveway. Her heart was thumping in anticipation. This was the moment of truth, and she was going to face it like an adult.

Taking a deep breath, she walked into the living room as she heard the sound of keys jangling at the front door.

She had to be brave now. No more running.

Owen opened the front door and stood rooted to his spot, not believing his eyes at seeing his wife, the wife who had left him with just a letter 2 weeks ago standing right in front of him. He had to blink his eyes several times to make sure that he wasn't dreaming and it wasn't an apparition of some sort. Of course he knew that she had returned to Seattle, but now that she was actually standing in front of him in person, it was too good to be true.

But when he opened his eyes again, she was still standing there, her blue eyes staring pleadingly at him. Those blue eyes which he couldn't say no to.

Time stood still as they stared at each other in the eye, both rooted in their spots, and both speechless, not being able to find the right words to say.

Owen finally moved to locked the front door behind him, not taking his eyes off his wife.

His first impulse was to hug her tight and tell her that he missed her.

But then he recalled that he was still mad at her for leaving him. That and his pride prevented him from going over to her.

To his surprise, she was the one who spoke up first.

' I'm sorry.' she muttered. ' I'm sorry for leaving you.'

Owen could feel his blood boiling now, but he was trying his best to remain calm.

' You're sorry? Do you think that by simply uttering those two words I would just forgive you like that? Sorry to break this to you, but sorry doesn't solve everything. '

' I had no choice.' Amelia's voice was now stronger and more confident.

' What do you mean you had no choice?' Owen asked, a hint of bitterness in the tone of his voice. ' Are you telling me that you had no choice but to just take off like that one night and leave a letter asking me to wait for you without telling me where you went to or how long you were there for?'

' I needed time to think things over and reevaluate.' Amelia tried to explain. ' I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating.'

' You mean our marriage is suffocating you? I am suffocating you? Thanks for telling me. ' Owen said sarcastically, the bitter tone now evident in his voice.

' No Owen- it's not your fault. You've been nothing but wonderful to me. Like I said in the letter, it's me, not you. ' Amelia replied. ' I had some issues…' her voice trailed off as she struggled to find the right words to say.

' It's not my fault? Then why did you do this to me, Amelia? Do you know that I spent sleepless nights in the hospital wondering where you went and when you would come back- IF you ever came back? Do you know how many times I considered flying over to LA to look for you but didn't because I respected your wish to be alone? Do you know how empty my heart felt? Everyone said that I looked like a zombie. What did I do to deserve this?' Owen's voice was now cracking, and his words pierced right through Amelia's heart like a dagger. She felt so guilty now for what she had put Owen through. It was obvious that he cared so much about her. He didn't deserve this. She really hated herself.

' Owen do you know that I spent sleepless nights thinking of you too?' Amelia tried desperately to make him understand. 'All my friends in LA were so nice to me, but at the end of the day I realized that I didn't belong there. My home is here. With you.'

' So you needed 2 weeks in LA to realize that your home is here?' Owen asked sarcastically. ' Nice to know that.'

' Owen , please.' Amelia pleaded, tears now pooling in her eyes. ' At least I realize it now.'

Owen's heart finally softened upon hearing Amelia's plea and seeing tears pooling in her blue eyes.

As furious as he was with her, he still loved her deeply and was so glad that she came back to him.

But he still demanded an explanation from her.

' So why did you leave Amelia?' Owen asked, in a softer tone this time. ' Tell me.'

Amelia gulped, knowing that this was her best chance of opening up to him. Now the opportunity was there, she had to grab it.

But she just couldn't. She opened and closed her mouth several times, but no words came out.

' So you left for no reason?' the hurt tone was back in Owen's voice.

' No…I…' somehow, Amelia just couldn't find the right words to say.

' You know what? Maybe you need more time to think. I'll go out and get dinner and give you more time to think.' said Owen calmly.

' No Owen….it's not that!' Amelia cried out in desperation, but he had already walked out the door.

' Damn it!' Amelia muttered to herself, as she slammed her fist on the dining table in frustration.

She missed this golden opportunity to confess to Owen. She messed up again like she messed up every single thing in her life.

' Well done Amelia' she thought to herself as she sat on the dining table, covering her face with her hands. ' Way to mess things up like you always do.'

Hands shaking, she dialed Charlotte's number.

Charlotte answered within a single ring.

' Amelia! Have you talked things over with Major Hunt already?' Charlotte sounded excited over the phone.

' No…not yet….I just couldn't do it.' Amelia's voice quivered.

' What do you mean you couldn't?'

' He asked me why I left- and somehow I just couldn't find the right words to say.' Amelia sighed, resting her head on her hands. ' Why do I keep on doing this?'

Charlotte's heart really went out to her friend and she wished she could help her.

An idea suddenly came into her mind.

' Ha…I have a suggestion.' she said as she told Amelia the idea, before changing the topic to a more lighthearted conversation.

' You know what you have to do, Amelia.' Charlotte reminded her friend before she hung up.

' If you can't find the words to tell him, show him instead.'


Owen was still quiet as he took out the Chinese takeaway from the recycled bag half an hour later.

' Owen, I need to show you something.' Amelia said as she walked over to him, holding her phone.

' What is it?' Owen muttered, busying himself with putting the food on the table.

' This' Amelia said quietly, as she showed him the photo of her unicorn baby's grave which Charlotte helped to take the day she visited . ' Remember I told you that my baby lived for 43 minutes?'

Owen nodded silently. Yes, he did remember her mentioning to him about it in the hospital chapel while they were lighting candles for Samuel, but at that time they were still acquaintances, and he didn't want to meddle in her personal life.

' It's a beautiful grave' he said finally, admiring the picture. ' Beautiful words. Unicorn baby, a beautiful name for a beautiful baby'

' What I didn't tell you is that he died of anencephaly.' Amelia said, swallowing thickly, feeling a stab in her heart at having to say the term out loud. ' No brain. How ironic is it that a brain surgeon would have a baby without a brain?' she chuckled bitterly.

Owen had encountered a few cases before of anencephalic babies- in medical school, internship, and residency. He had seen the devastated look on the parents faces when they were told of their baby's diagnosis. The prognosis was very poor, he knew that. Zero percent chance of survival.

And now here his wife was, telling him that she had an anencephalic baby before. His heart really went out to her.

' I'm so sorry Amelia. I didn't know.' said Owen as he put a comforting arm around her shoulders, and helped her place the phone on the dinner table.

Upon feeling his reassuring touch, Amelia finally found the strength to continue.

' Remember that night I told you about Ryan and how I woke up to find him dead?' she asked him, as her eyes which were now glistening with tears met his reassuring ones.

Owen nodded. Yes, he did remember.

' I.. I found out after I came out from rehab that I was pregnant with his baby.' she continued. ' I was happy at first, because at least he left a part of him in me. But that joy was short-lived when Addison did my first antenatal scan- and we found out that the baby didn't have a brain.' tears were now rolling down her cheeks at the memory.

Owen remained silent, giving her a gentle squeeze on the shoulders as a silent cue to continue her story.

' I was devastated to say the least.' she said. ' I knew that my baby would die. I was given the option of abortion. But I chose to carry the baby to full term so that I could donate his organs to save the lives of other babies after he was born.'

Owen felt full admiration for his wife now. He couldn't imagine a woman willing to carry her baby to full term, knowing that the baby was going to die, in order to save the lives of other babies.

' That was a very noble thing to do Amelia.' he said honestly. ' I'm so proud of you.'

Amelia finally felt a smile forming on her lips at her husband's reassurance. That gave her the strength to continue her story.

' When he was born, I held him in my arms. He felt so warm and soft in my arms. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.' she said, smiling tearfully at the memory of holding the baby in her arms. ' I proudly proclaimed that he was my son. That moment, I knew exactly what a mother's love was like.'

Owen nodded his head. Now he understood. Amelia had been a mother before, she was still a mother now, nothing could take that status away from her.

' Then, he developed respiratory distress, and they had to take him away from me, as time was running out. They had to harvest his organs for donation.' Amelia added, her voice quivering at the memory. ' When they took him away from me, it felt like they took a piece of me away. It would always leave a hole in my heart which cannot be filled.' she said, wiping away a stray tear from her cheek.

Owen was now cupping her face in his hands, and using his fingers to help her wipe away another stray tear.

'But I guess, something good came out of all this.' Amelia sniffled. ' His organs were donated to many other children and helped to save many other lives. That's why I call him my unicorn baby, my miracle baby. He had saved so many lives in the 43 minutes he was alive. He was my miracle baby, Owen.'

' He's a miracle baby indeed.' Owen agreed.

' I love babies and I want to give you a baby so bad.' said Amelia earnestly as she looked into Owen's eyes. ' I know that's what you want and I want to give you what you want so bad.'

' Amelia- I understand if you're not ready.' Owen said. 'It's just that I thought you were on board with the idea.'

' I was! I am. I want kids too.' Amelia tried to explain. ' But that night, when we took the pregnancy test and it was negative- I felt so relieved. I felt like I could breathe again.'

' Why?' Owen asked, trying to understand where his wife was coming from.

' I can't bear the thought of carrying yet another anencephalic baby, Owen! What if I get pregnant and our baby turns out to be anencephalic too? What if I can only produce brainless babies?! You see, the reason why I'm afraid to tell you this is because I'm afraid you would reject me because of this.I'm afraid you wouldn't want me anymore because I can only give you brainless babies. '

At this confession, Amelia broke down in sobs. Now that she had revealed her dark secret and her deepest fear to Owen, she felt like a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt free at last, like she could finally breathe.

Owen instinctively wrapped his arms tight around Amelia, embracing her in his arms, as she continued sobbing, wetting his new shirt in the process. But he didn't care. All that mattered now was that his wife had just bared her entire soul and past to him, and she needed his comfort and support.

' You know I will never leave you Amelia, no matter what happens. ' he whispered into her ear, as he stroked her hair soothingly.

They sat in that position for several minutes as Amelia continued sobbing, and Owen rubbed soothing circles on her back while embracing her in a warm, comforting hug.

Amelia's sobs gradually became sniffles.

' I…I met the kid who got my baby's heart in LA.' Amelia sniffled, as she looked up at Owen with teary eyes. His name was Jacob. His parents thanked me for saving his life.' she added, giving Owen a teary eyed smile. ' After that encounter, I finally mustered the courage to visit his grave. I haven't been to his grave since I left LA. I guess that was the closure I needed. I needed to know that he still lives in the heart of another child, and that he is looking down at us from heaven.'

Owen kissed Amelia's temple gently, as he embraced her again in his arms.

' He'll always live through all the children he saved.' he said softly. ' And yes, he'll always be in our hearts.'

' Then I realized, with Charlotte's help, that I had to let go of my past.' Amelia continued. ' I cannot just let my fear of having another anencephalic baby hold me back from having a future with you. I know that I need to let go. Addison did tell me that the chances of recurrence are only 2-4%. But I'm still afraid of the small possibility. I am scared, Owen, but I want it more than ever now, I really want a future with you.'

' I want a future with you too Amelia.' said Owen earnestly. ' But I don't want to force you into something you're not ready for. We can wait if you're not ready to have another child. Or we can even explore other options, if that's what you want. Just know that no matter what happens- I would be by your side always.'

Amelia looked up at Owen and showed him her dimpled smile, the smile which he had been missing for the past couple of weeks. Now that she had faced the demons of her past and poured her heart and soul out to him, she felt more ready than ever to take on the unknown future with him by her side.

That evening, they chatted continuously over dinner about their past lives, opening up to each other about their deepest and darkest secrets they had kept hidden from each other in the past. They bared their entire souls to each other, and reached a deeper level of understanding between them.

That night, they fell asleep cuddled in each others arms in a warm embrace, ever so grateful to be back together again.


7 years later

There was a sense of anticipation among the Hunt family as they waited at the SeaTac Airport for their guest's arrival.

Amelia's heart was pounding with excitement. Although they spoke on the phone and FaceTimed regularly, this was the first time she and Charlotte King would meet again after 7 years. Now that the triplets were older, Charlotte could finally afford to book a flight to Seattle to visit Amelia and her family.

1 year old Olivia Megan was wriggling in her arms, sensing her mother's excitement.

'Livvy, stop it.' said Amelia, adjusting her grip on the toddler.

' Down!' Olivia ordered.

' No, Olivia.' Amelia scolded gently. ' They're too many people around.'

Meanwhile beside her, 6 year old Charlotte Addison was skipping around excitedly. Ever since her mother told her that she would be meeting the aunt she was named after, she had been counting down the days.

In her excitement, Charlotte accidentally collided with another child who was also skipping around.

' Charlotte!' Amelia called out. ' Watch out where you're going!'

' Noah!' Owen called to their son from beside her ' Come back here- don't go too far away.'

4 year old Noah Christopher skipped back excitedly, grinning at his parents.

Finally, the adult Charlotte appeared with her luggage.

Her face lit up upon seeing Amelia and her family. She and Amelia exchanged a warm hug, so glad to be able to finally meet each other again face to face.

' Major Hunt.' Charlotte greeted Owen, nodding her head and shaking his hand.

Owen gave Amelia a questioning look and she shrugged in response.

' She knows that you worked in the army before.' she whispered to him once Charlotte had her attention focused on the children. ' Since I told her that, she has been referring to you by that nickname.'

' So this is Noah and Olivia.' said Charlotte, accepting Noah's handshake with a wide smile and giving Olivia a peck on the forehead.

' Hey, you must be Charlotte too.' she said, stooping down to the same level as little Charlotte.

' Yes, my name is Charlotte too.' the little girl grinned. ' Mommy said I was named after you.'

' Yes, you were.' big Charlotte smiled as little Charlotte took her hand and led her out of the airport with the rest of the family trailing behind.

Little Charlotte was already chatting excitedly to big Charlotte about school, her family and her hobbies, as big Charlotte listened intently. An immediate bond had formed between them.

' Mommy, why am I named after aunt Charlotte?' little Charlotte asked that night as Amelia tucked her into bed. Little Charlotte had spent an entire day not leaving big Charlotte's side, and even cried when they had to drop big Charlotte off at the hotel. Amelia was starting to worry that little Charlotte was getting more attached to big Charlotte than to her.

' Well- because if not for her, you wouldn't even be here.' Amelia explained in the simplest terms she could think of.

Charlotte frowned. ' What do you mean, mommy? I thought I wouldn't be here if not for you and daddy.'

' Yes. Your aunt Charlotte helped bring mommy and daddy back together. She and your aunt Addie which you're also named after' Amelia reasoned.

' Oh I see.' Charlotte was finally satisfied with her answer.

' Then since I'm named after her, will I be like her?' Charlotte asked.

' Do you want to be like her?' Amelia asked, winking at her 6 year old clone.

' Yes, I do!' Charlotte exclaimed. ' I like her a lot!'

' She likes you too.' Amelia smiled, remembering how big Charlotte told her earlier that day while watching the kids play how proud she was of her, and how she thought little Charlotte really reminded her of her little self.

' Ok, then I have to sleep now so that I can grow up to be like aunt Charlotte' said Charlotte as she tuck herself under the covers and pretended to be asleep.

Amelia chuckled at her daughter's reasoning as she pulled up the blankets and kissed the little girl goodnight. It was true though, without big Charlotte , little Charlotte might not even exist. She had so much to be grateful for.

So we've reached the end of the 'Thinking It Over' series. Thank you all so much for your support for this series- I really appreciate it! :)

Again, comments, reviews, and messages are very much appreciated- please do let me know what you think- I would really love to hear from you all :)