Hey guys!

I am so sorry this took ages... But I am back! Hope you enjoy this one!

Much love,

AGirlThatDaresToDream

P.s: This line … means we are at the same place as we were before but are reading through different POV as before, or that we are still accompanying the same person but there was a time jump in between their story telling.

The parts of the story that are written like this are flashbacks.


Chapter 24

The room he took her to right after he successfully threw away everything he ever knew was mocking him quietly as he sat on its floor, probably resembling a small repented child or a puppy which has been told off. Shame, confusion, offence and fear were making him feel smaller than he had felt in years as his heart raced with frustration of how quickly he managed to turn one of the best days of his life into a disaster. He knew it was pointless while trying to convince himself that nothing that happened downstairs was his fault, her eyes laced with disappointment haunting him in his memory, the fear of what that meant alarming, yet limited by his childish sulking. He was a grown man, he had lived longer than anyone currently breathing in the house and he should be able to decide when he should stop himself. There was no real need for her to react the way she did and he was hurt.

To redirect his thoughts, Damon let his gaze wonder over the room he got to know quite well over the centuries, the one that has seen him vulnerable, seen him mended and that has made the echoes of his past look like nothing but ghosts as he now took in the feel of it.

The windows were open, letting the occasional lazy wind blows play with the white, faded curtains, and the sun to shine right on the spot he was sitting on, making him wish, even if just for a moment, that he could feel its real warmth of his skin again. He spun the ring on one of his fingers subconsciously, before groaning. Was there really nothing he could do without connecting it to the memory he shared with her?

There was an armchair next to her wardrobe with a book on its cushion, the page she stayed on marked with a piece of thread she used to sew buttons on the back of her t-shirts with. The same chair he sat in as she was waking up in this house for the first time. The bed being the same bed he held her in, trying desperately to read while his mind kept bringing him back to the sweet words she said to him before. It wasn't just her room. The whole estate was touched, even in just the smallest of ways, by who she was . By who he was with her.

A man who tries to do good. A man she trusts, even though she knows nothing about. The one who hides his real self from her in fear, the one with secrets she overlooks again and again, not to break his image. The one who never lies to her, but never tells her the whole truth either, the one she saw through today. The one who is still trying hard to convince himself that he will never be able to understand the humans' reaction.

His whole body was stiff, the movements of his hand holding the fork abrupt, the threatening looks send his way from the other side of the table making it hard for him to maintain the relaxed image he wanted. Elena sat next to him, her leg brushing against his under the table, the only thing allowing him to keep calm while others gossiped, some laughing, some whispering, some sitting comfortably full and some stealing nervous glances towards him- the Bill guy seated across from him or young Kylan, who has been stubbornly staring at his untouched desert for almost fifteen minutes now.

To say their first official meeting was weird was an understatement. The man's caution on an amount of personal space seemed pathetic to Damon, until Kylan fist set his eyes on Elena who has emerged from the pantry with her aunt, holding a tray of biscuits. The expression on the brown-haired man changed from unreadable to openly and shamelessly wondrous, clearly causing the girl as much distress as annoyance to him. Elena's cheeks reddened under the man's stare, her hand only shaking his for a heartbeat… And yet he wasn't the creepiest of the dudes. The older male with short dark hair and the skin of same colour looked uncomfortably unsurprised by the events that took place that morning, like Elena was nothing but a chess figure; and as he shook her hand, Damon could swear that he heard him whisper some gibberish he has last heard from the mouth of one of the Bennets. Why he did that, the vampire didn't know; but it drove his and Elena's already tithed nerves even higher… And they really didn't need that.

The warmth in his heart from that morning was still present, increasing every time he glanced the girl's way and took in her happy expression, the only thing giving it away the loss of spark in her doe eyes. She was good at this before, he remembered, but she was becoming a pro in covering up her true feelings. It was the fact that both calmed him and caused him to build his own walls higher. Even though he knew this was necessary, he couldn't stop the pain in his heart every time he saw her do that, wishing that she wouldn't have to become like him, that she could let her soul be free at all times and not have to lock it up more and more, only really letting it see the day while she was with him or alone with her brother. He hated the pride that overflowed him while he came to realizations like these, but didn't try to turn it down completely. Her trust was, after all, his biggest blessing.

Another enthusiastic question from the blond woman's list of questions about his life, work and abilities he didn't really want to give an answer to was what broke his string of thought, causing him to turn his gaze from Elena while an almost inaudible growl left his mouth, bringing both of the young Gilberts to attention and killing their conversation instantly. The boy still wore the "I don't know what I am supposed to do here" expression that Damon has been successfully hiding through the meal, while Elena's hand slowly fell under the table to squeeze his, her right wing sliding across the back of his shirt unnoticeably. She knew he wasn't good at this, supporting him in ways that made him want to run away with her and hide them in their new found haven of happiness.

He was almost done with crafting the most meaningless answer he could make up, when the grey haired leader came to his rescue without knowing as he walked back to the table he left seconds ago with two small dried twigs of the toxic plant Damon knew all too well in his hand. Vervain.

"It's the best that I could do," he stated, giving both of them to the blonde's husband. "Are you sure you don't need a drive?"

"Yeah, we are going to his parents afterwards. They will help us if we will need anything." Lynn replied, her voice without a drop of its previous shine, now determined and straight to business. It seemed like Kylan was finally going to open his mouth to let out the words of gratitude, but before he could do so, a loud sound of the chair being dragged from the table caused everyone to stop talking and turn to the scene unfolding in front of them.

"Where exactly are you going?" Bill, now standing, interrupted the sudden silence. "And what do you need that thing for?"

"It's fine." Ethan raised his hands to stop his friend's aggressive tone. "Today is their harvest date. We talked about it yesterday after the meeting, but decided not to tell you all. You had quite a few other things to worry about."

Elena's hand squeezed his gently at the words and he couldn't help himself but notice the way Alaric's face lost its smile. Harvest? What the hell were they talking about?

"You need to hide it where they would be least expecting to find it," Alaric spoke now. "Like in your socks."

"And try not to look too nervous at the check in," Bill's voice has now turned in a steel one, his body tense; and yet, the vampire could still sense a shadow of the man's worry. "You don't want them to be fixed on you before you even get to the blood testing point."

So it was the blood gift, Damon thought, a wave of annoyance rushing through him as he scanned their expressions again. Why were they making such of a big deal out of this?

"We will be fine." Kylan met Bills look now while joining his hand with his wife's. "But could you take care of Max for us? Just for a little while."

Damon finally lost it. "Oh come on! How long are you going to be gone for? Twenty minutes?"

"A day and a half, actually." The curly headed man's voice seemed small and the vampire was overflown with the taste of victory.

"What are you all? Nine? Still afraid of needles?" His words echoed through the silence.

"Damon." He shook off the hand that Elena has placed on his forearm and stood up.

"Oh come on, Elena, look at them! They are babies. It is a miracle that they even got as far as they did and we are relying on them to make us vanish?"

He left them a few heartbeats, eager to let them comprehend what he just said, yet it seemed like all Bill needed was one, before he leaped toward him, soon held up, but joined by a choir of raging voices. It left him to stand there victoriously for a moment and look over what he has caused, before the sound his name his him like a brick of ice.

"Damon!" He turned around, suddenly frozen under Elena's stare, anger, determination and disappointment holding him captive before softening into pure heartbreak, her next words sad, but strict. "Leave."

The memory of her stare itself was what brought him back to reality, to the dust dancing in lazy afternoon sunrays and the cold wall pressed against his back, providing him with an excuse for his shivers. He didn't know if he ever saw a thing as frightening as his perfect image collapsing in her eyes, especially when he knew that left her with nothing. She didn't know him in any other way. He was nice to her when she needed someone to lean on, and he never had the courage to challenge her idea of him as a kind saviour. He cursed under his breath. He was such a coward.

He wasn't sure how long he was sitting there before he heard her soft footsteps mixed with barely audible creeks of the stairs, causing all his hidden emotions to emerge from the depths of him again. He could feel her eyes on his side as she reached the doorframe, yet didn't turn his head to meet them, silently staring at the nightstand across the room. She sighed when she entered, and he noted her quickened heartbeat, before focusing on the sound of her breading in hope that it would calm his nerves.

She was so close to him he could easily touch her. When he finally slid on the floor next to him, he could feel the alien shadow of the distance between them. He was so used to having her in his arms that not even having their hands brush against each other literally pained him. Maybe even more so while her eyes bored into his soul.

She gave up trying to get him to look at her quite soon, thought, joining him in admiring the side of the room they were facing, surrounded by an uncomfortable silence. It grew at they sat there unmoving, and Damon has just began to imagine it as a big, grisly beast which was, blinded by the lies, greedily devouring their relationship when Elena's lips finally parted.

"I think I was three when I first asked what vampires were," she started, her voice quiet, small. "I kept hearing the word on TV, radio, while my parents talked- it was just everywhere, but I had no idea what it meant... So I asked my mom one day. We were out, shopping for groceries, I think; which wasn't even approximately appropriate, but I didn't know better then. She looked around a bit, then told me they were beings, who look just like people, but aren't similar in truth. That they protect us all and that all mommies and daddies have to do is bring them food ever now and then… And I, of course believed her.

Then I remember, I was just finishing my first class. It was June when the teacher announced that we will have a special guest coming in a few days. I was excited, I think. Curious, but then what he told us was nothing to be excited about. He was a vampire, sent by the government to explain the system to us. Can you believe it? Telling six year olds that they will one day be drained to feed demons? Telling us the truth about where our parents go every six months just after explaining to us how bad the whole world was before, when the vampires were savage? Explaining to us just how they used to feed and telling us that they don't do that anymore, even though we all saw all those animal attacks in the news?"

Damon's eyes met hers now, unable to deny her any longer.

"I… I couldn't sleep for weeks, Damon! I barely talked and ate, never letting anyone out of my sight. I could see my patents dead, feel the pain in my neck every time they turned off the lights. No matter if I was in their embrace, with my dad whispering in my ear that he will never let anyone hurt me, that they can't hurt me if he or mum are here… They told me that yes, sometimes attacks on humans did happen, but rarely; and that the vampires were there to protect us from the minority of those who are crazy. I believed them again. Every word I heard which would soothe me I took for a fact.

I got a new Teddy when they next had to leave and Jenna had to stay up late with me to wait for them to return as we drank one hot chocolate after another. I don't think I have ever been more scared in my life, except maybe in the centre.

When I got a bit older , I cursed them for not telling me sooner, but then learned quickly what the consequences of me saying anything against the system would be for all of us. It took me almost seven years to get it. To really understand what was going on. Why there were so many suicides and attacks that never reached closure, why people kept disappearing without anyone seeing where they went. The whole thing was a lie. The vampires weren't protecting us. They still aren't. They hold ever string in our own government and they leave people to be bled dry, covering for their attackers. The Mikaelsons get rid of any human or vampire who dares to speak out against them; and the only ones who are believed to have survived are the people who fled to Europe, where vampires and humans really do live in harmony, even though I could never imagine how the whole thing there could work until I met you.

At thirteen, I found the only reason while they still let us live. Food. That's all I am, Damon! That's everything every one of us is here, and that's what people have to live with. That they are nothing more than slaughter animals!

I never felt smaller than on my first harvest. The packed rooms, long waiting lines made only to make you feel even shittier than you already do. I was so scared beforehand that I couldn't breathe, the only thing keeping me standing the stories about just how unhappy the vampires got if someone fainted before their turn. And they just sat there with no feelings in their eyes, like robots! I…"

"Why are you telling me all this?" Damon couldn't take it anymore, guilt, shame and sympathy sending tremors through his palms.

"I just... I want you to understand why they act the way they do around you. I don't think I would even be able to speak to a vampire like this if the whole accident didn't happen. The system ruined me, Damon. I hated and feared every single one of you! I tried so hard to convince myself that there are good vampires here too and not just in Europe, but when you live in fear of someone without having any type of normal contact with them, all of that belief in antidiscrimination just fades away… My friends and I… We wanted to fight. Never really got through with it, but still, we talked about not coming to the hospital on our blood -giving day all the time. Talked about starting an uprising, but never had the guts."

She shook her head, running her hands over her face and down her hair.

"I was an idiot back then. If another war broke I would join it in no time, never even considering that the other side would lose people too. That they would feel the same grief as we do if we lost one of our loved ones… There would be no change if we would do so, only death. I get sick every time I think about what we could cause."

She flinched a little when Damon covered her hand with his own to stop it from shaking, his anger now long forgotten. His heart was full of understanding, desperately trying to bring her back to calmness. She sighed, then spoke gently, confidently yet carefully, staring at the wall in front of her.

"What you did today was wrong- "

"I know."

"-they are not weak, but they did wrong to you too. I am not okay with how they kept ignoring you, I need you to know that- and yet, things need to change. To achieve that, you must learn to work together."

He turned his head to roll his eyes, before wincing at the sadness in her eyes when he looked back to her.

"I mean it, Damon. I know we never talked about this, but if I really do posses some sort of power and can change the way humans are treated in a peaceful way, I will…" Something in her eyes broke yet again. "Even if I had to loose someone to do so."

Silence fell between then as he held her stare, the sadness in it overshadowed by determination almost presenting him with a threat. He knew without a doubt that he could hold her to her word. That she would do what she said, if they ever would get stuck in that situation… So he took a breath and made his choice.

...

He looked defeated, when he finally deterred his gaze, like he always knew this was coming, but wanted to avoid it desperately. Her hand was missing his warmth as soon as he pulled his back to rest it on his knees, before he started to speak, his voice distant.

"I was born in 1734. Things were different back then. My father was one of the most successful Italian traders, who made a pact with a British lord and sealed it with a wedding, separating my mother from both her family and her home country and bringing her to his home. She must have been around your age then. Smart, beautiful, fierce; and though I don't think my father ever fell in love with her, there was always a sense of respect and care between them. He would give her the world if he could, just to make her happy: letting her have her freedom around the house, giving in to almost every one of her progressive ideas. And she never seemed to stop showing him just how much that meant to her… I never fooled myself into thinking that their marriage was perfect, but it worked.

As far back as I can remember, I was always in my mother's embrace. She was the one who played with me, fed me and put me to sleep. And though my father was always here somewhere, she was my rock.

I believe I was two, when my grandfather sends us a letter. An offer to extend their business to the New World. My father accepted. I am not sure if he knew then, but my mother just got pregnant with him for the second time. Even if he didn't, he could have delayed the journey for a few months, but he was blinded by the money. Maybe he talked to her and she didn't want to deny him an opportunity this big… Anyway, we left for America a few weeks later.

Already affected by the pregnancy, the journey took the strength out of my mother. She got sick as soon as we arrived. My father was from head to heels in preparing our land for the plantation workers, so I don't think he really knew; but she was getting a bit worse every day… They took me from her about a month before Stefan was supposed to be born and her coughing worsened. My father was out of his mind with worry when he learned. He knew she would never let them do it if it wasn't serious, I think he feared that she wouldn't survive the birth… She did it, though, I don't really know from where she got the power, but my brother was born healthy and she never truly recovered after that night. I was in and out of her care for the next few years, due to her health problems, but those were the best years of my life.

I never saw her too sick. She made sure of that. And Stefan was pretty much brought up by a wet nurse. I was allowed to run outside and play cricket and sleep my afternoon naps in her lap. I would help her bath Stefan and hold him in my arms. Sure, she disappeared in her rooms for a few days sometimes, and I would have to spend them with a nanny, but she was always there again before the end of the week. I grew used to it, didn't give it much thought after the first few times…

In winter of my sixth birthday, though, I haven't seen her for weeks. I saw doctors come and go to our house, but none of them seemed to really know what to do to help. My father even brought one of his workers, a healer well known for miracles, but I think she said it must have already been too late. I never saw him more furious that that day. And… Well, I can't say that he was nice to his workers before; but after that, things must have been horrible. My mother never let me see the plantation while they were working. I don't think she really approved, but she was sick then, so it really didn't matter. My father spent an hour with her every day, and as far as knew he would never have let her know that even his last plan to save her has failed.

They let me to her the next day. She room was full of maids, so we couldn't talk much, but she was… She was just broken, lying there… I know how much she hated it, but her body wouldn't let her get up. She scarred me even more with her saddened look, than with her raspy breathing. I didn't understand why at first, but realised it later that evening… She was giving up."

Damon lowered his head to his hands, so his face was hidden from her, his hands in his hair.

"I went to her that night. Wasn't allowed to, but I did. Scarred my nanny half to death, I am sure, and I could hear my father raging around the house after a few minutes; but she just held me to her after I crawled into her bed. We didn't say much… Only the important things.

When my father found us, I was crying; and I think he wanted to be angry at me for the whole disappearing act, but she didn't let him. She wanted me with them and he let her. I never saw him show any kind of emotion like he did that night again. He kissed her hair, whispered to her while she held he there crying… She stayed strong, thought, told him that she loved him… I fell asleep to her stroking my hair and the sound of her heartbeat. When I woke up it was gone."

He ruffled his hair again, clearing his throat before continuing.

"My father was never the same after that. He was rougher, stricter. He raised Stefan almost by himself. There have always been differences between us, but we got along fine. I don't think father liked it. Maybe I reminded him of her too much. He threw away everything he had of her as soon as the funeral ended, except for the picture hidden in his bedroom drawer. If you could say we had a relationship before, we certainly didn't have it afterwards. We learned to avoid each other, and as long as we didn't really have to talk it was fine.

Stefan and I grew up playing ball games in front of the mansion and running through the bushes nearby. I told him about her when he asked me, and go, did he have a lot of questions. I told him everything that I could remember. I knew she would want me too. And Stefan knew better than to ask father.

The people in the town growing around our land loved us, and by the time I hit twenty, I was at the dance every other night. Nice girls, good vine, we thought that nothing could ruin it for us. And then, a few days after I turned twenty two… My brother went to one of the dances and never returned to his bed. I didn't think much of it. I mean- he was nineteen, and he was a guy, and he went to a party… It wasn't hard to figure that he was somewhere with a girl. What I never expected was to find him that evening with blood on his hands.

He just sat there in the greenery, his head between his knees, blood all over him. I didn't know what happened to him, but I panicked. As soon as I took another step, however, he started to scream that I mustn't come any closer to him. I tried to calm him and get him to tell me what happened; but when he raised his head, I was frozen. There was blood running down his chin, his eyes were bright red, the veins under them pulsating… And yet, he begged me not to run away from him, he begged me to help. He said he doesn't know what happened, said he kept attacking people and he cannot stop, that the sun burned him… He killed two of our friends that night, told me how dangerous he was, and yet I couldn't deny him. Fear has gripped him so hard he was hyperventilating and I knew I couldn't just leave him there, so I took him to our cellar. He begged me to lock him up; he said that he couldn't stop if the thirst came again, that he might hurt me…

I didn't know who to turn to. The town people would say he was a demon who ought to be killed, and I thought that maybe he was, but I couldn't let that happen… I don't really remember how I got there, but I ended up in the plantation and there was a little girl leaning against the tool hut, just staring at me. She couldn't have been more than five and I knew she must have been a child of one of the workers, but she had this strange aura... She looked me straight in the eye and said that she is sorry my brother is dead. I wanted to correct her, but she only shook her head. Said that she knew what I needed… She took me to her mother, the healer who my dad brought to try to save my mother and told her that someone has turned my brother and that they needed to help me. I didn't know what she meant, only that it didn't feel good and overall I was just stunned that she knew this things. Did she see him kill someone? Did she follow us? I didn't have a clue about how she got the information.

Her mother was shocked too, but not for the same reason. She said that she couldn't help me. That Stefan was better off dead, she almost lost it when I told her that he is locked in the cellar… But I managed to convince her to at least tell me what was going on. She told me all about vampires then, how they survive, how you kill them, what weakens them. She gave me Vervain, told me to use it, to spray my brother with it and stake him, or take him outside in the morning, that it was the only way… I didn't buy into that. Didn't listen, told her that she was crazy, that vampires didn't exist … And decided to figure things out on my own.

Stefan was enough himself then to tell me that he was with this girl at a dance and that she bewitched him to come to her place. She was with him, then bit him, fed him her blood and snapped his neck. He said he woke up in the middle of nowhere and attacked the first person he came across, that he couldn't stop himself, that the hunger forced him to, hurt him. The healers story hasn't seem that much of a legend anymore then- especially after I learned that the girl who Stefan was talking about killed her entire family barely two nights ago, drained them all… but her solution was not an option, so I made my own plan.

I told my brother everything I learned And thought he obviously didn't take it well at first, he agreed to help me help him. He drank a glass of Vervain every morning and evening, in order to prevent himself from causing another death. I came to him three times a day, letting him bit me. We didn't know anything back then. He said that he would never hurt me, that could win over the instinct and stop. I didn't even think that we were really only worsening his thirst, teasing it. We were playing with fire, and we didn't even know about it. Stefan got moodier and moodier every day; and yet, I thought nothing if it. So that day came, the fault was as much mine as it was his.

My father sent me out of town to do some work for him. I missed one of Stefan's feeding hours, he got angry, didn't stop. I lost consciousness, but he noticed that too late, and he panicked. He thought he has killed me, so he repeated the same thing that the girl did to him. Every step, just like her. The feeding, blood sharing, snapping the neck… He didn't even think about what I would want. The guilt consumed him.

When I woke up, everything was blurred. My head pounded so hard that it took me a while to understand what happened. You can figure it wasn't a nice realisation. I have seen what transition did to Stefan. I knew I couldn't become something like that. I wanted to die, but he didn't let me. I was only awake for a few minutes before he came into the room again, bringing a girl with him. She wasn't scarred, didn't even try to run while he fed on her… I begged him to stop, not to force this decision on me. But he didn't listen... the hunger rose; it was like fire while I watched them, the smell of blood turning sweet… When he brought her neck to my lips I couldn't stop myself… She was the first one, the first of them to die."

She saw Damon look at her through the corner of his eye, but she didn't tell him to stop. She needed to know this. She needed to know him.

"I felt sick when I finished. She lay there in my lap. Pale, broken, lifeless. I remember I thought she might have someone who loves her. Parents? Husband? Kids? I grew panicky, tried to wake her, even though I know she wouldn't. I didn't want to look at her and yet somehow I couldn't stop myself. She had blue eyes, almost the shade of my mothers and I have killed her… Stefan congratulated me. He has turned them all off to get me to be like him."

"Turned them off?" Elena broke his tale gently, not understanding the concept.

"His emotions. There is almost like a switch for them in the mind of a vampire. You can turn it off. Guarantee yourself that you won't feel what you don't want to… He didn't want to feel the guilt anymore. I didn't even know that was possible back then. He just turned into a monster. I yelled at him that I hate him for what he did to me. That I will never forgive him, yet he just laughed and took off. I left the girl there, covered her with a blanket, but left her face there to punish me. When I closed her eyes she looked like she was just sleeping… I returned to the ground floor to search for our father. I wanted to speak to him, tell him what happened. Tell him why he can't ever see us again. I didn't care that we didn't really talk about anything but business. He deserved that at least. I woke him and he was grumpy. He didn't believe my story, then grew more angry than scarred when I showed him my other face. He blamed me. He said that I got Stefan in trouble, that it was all my fault. I… Didn't know my new strength. I pushed him. He hit his head on the fireplace boarder. I rushed to help him, but… he wasn't breathing. I remembered everything he ever did for me, for Stefan, for my mother and I couldn't live with what I have done... So I turned everything off. My pain, my grief and my conscience. It felt like liberation at the time. I learned all about my abilities and mastered them. I could do whatever, get whatever I wanted. The blood called to me, so I drank. I loved the thrill it gave me. Loved the chaise before the feed, and the taste certainly wasn't one of the downsides. I became a predator, a stalker. If I was too hungry, they died. If they were just a snack, they didn't. I compelled money out of people. I bought a house, so that even during the day I could have company. For sixty six years I partied, slept around and fed from the veins." He snorted. "I thought then I was living in my golden era."

"It was 1830 when I finally encountered someone who managed to stand up to me. I didn't know it at the time, but somewhere along the way I have made a mistake of biting one of their male relatives and was marked as a threat to the Bennet witch coven. I am still not sure if that was standard pressure or just Emily's way to insure our second meeting. Anyway... I was walking down the forest road carelessly when a whole bunch of chanting women managed to knock me out and transport me to their camp. Emily came to me then, talked to me. I didn't recognize her until she told me where she knew me from, but then of course she was over seventy, and only five when I first met her. It was her, the healer's daughter, and she told me I have had enough, that I needed to feel again.

I can't say they were mean, but they did not go easy on me. Somehow, with all the talks with Emily and all the witchy mind stuff they did to me, they managed to get me to turn the switch on again… And it was hell.

All the guilt, every single wrong thing that I did in those years fell on me at once. All the pain that I should have felt. My conscience has never been more merciless. I realized what I have become and I couldn't take it anymore, I just couldn't. I wanted to welcome the sun that day, but Emily already knew what I was up to and how to convince me not to go through with it.

She told me later, when I had learn to control my bloodlust enough that I was free to go outside and was wearing her ring that allowed me to walk beside her during the day, that she already saw it happen. She was a seer, the starter of the magic line, their leader.

When I asked her why she helped me, she told me that I had helped her. When my father died, she and her mother were sold to an old lady without descendants who needed house help. She treated them like family and when she died, they were declared free. She said it was a return favour, said I could stay for however long I would like.

I was finally able to feel like a being again. The people there weren't afraid of me, their power far stronger than my strength, and I could actually be myself with them… My heart, however still didn't give me a break.

Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to become a doctor, so that I could cure people like my mother. That wish has, after all those years of causing death, become stronger than ever. I've worked on my self-control every second of the day, starving myself for weeks, allowed myself only a drop of blood every evening and became more and more confident that I wouldn't flip out even if something extremely unexpected happened.

Before I left the witches to go to med school, however, I made a deal with them. Emily said that something big was coming, but she couldn't really see when or what it was, and I knew she was worried. She has got me through so much, and I knew I will never really be able to repay her, but knew that I have to try. I swore to defend her and all her family and was in turn granted a free pass to their land and a favour from them whenever I might need it.

Things weren't the same for me when I rejoined the humans. The tales of vampires we spreading quicker than wildfire, causing fear in those who had learned they are real. Our existence was getting uncovered, the numbers of our race too big, the attacks too frequent, too obvious. I got my degree of the finest level in 1850 and managed to found myself a job in one of the smaller, but highly recommended hospitals. I took as many shifts as I could and was completely successful in controlling myself. I stitched wounds, adjusted bones and when necessary, saved people with drops of my own blood. Only once they were stable, though. I never wanted to risk creating another demon. I think the head of the department knew, but let me work there still.

My miraculous abilities never went unnoticed by the families; and yet, I never thought they would reach the extend I learned they did a year before the war. The tension between the sides has risen drastically in those months, our rooms full of brawl victims and abolitionists.

They brought a man in one day. Cracked ribs, broken arms, bruised kidneys, massive head trauma... I treated him but didn't dare to do anything else… It would be on him from then on if there wasn't for his wife.

To this day, I am still not sure how, but she figured out that I was a vampire, pushed me to the room corner when I came to check on Andrew, and wouldn't let me leave until I cured him… She wasn't afraid of me; more angry, for not helping him enough immediately. I remember thinking her hair colour was the aftermath of fire in her soul. She started to intrigue me as soon as her begging turned into threats. She knew that if she was right, I could kill her in a heartbeat; and yet would rather let that happen than let her husband die. That was Emma for you: obstinate, strict, sharp, neat, but driven by love.

I knew right away that she wouldn't give me peace until she understood, so I showed her the bits I felt most guilty of. I flashed the most monstrous things I have done in her head, and yet, she didn't run away screaming. She wanted to know how hard it was to learn to control myself like I did, asked me if they all went a bit crazy in the beginning, and I told her.

She made me a deal then; said that we wait for a bit, but I must cure him when he gets stable or else she will tell my secret to the other staff members. I asked her why she thought I wouldn't kill her before she would be able to do so, and she drug out a single Vervain blade… I don't think I laughed harder in my life.

Anyway... We grew close as Andrews condition improved slowly, talked about the state of our country, about the growing numbers of vampires, my time at the witch camp, their wedding and I couldn't stop myself from noticing how beautifully she was anymore, didn't fight the fire that was her personality and started to fall in love with the way she loved. I wanted her, longed for her, yet knew that I could never take her away from her husband… So after he got better, we stayed in touch. I bought them this house, made sure they had everything they could ever wanted, that they were safe, and visited as often as I could. Andrew knew the real reason, he told me that himself once, but didn't try to get me to stop coming over. He was too grateful, too nice; and he knew I would never hurt them… We learned to be like brothers.

I didn't get to see them much during the war- there was too much work and I was treating people on both sides. I knew I would be fighting with the south, even if I didn't want to, if my father was still alive; I understood the youth who was forced into that situation, but was too scared to leave.

About a year before the whole thing ended, I came to the hospital and found everyone in frenzy. I was called to the case almost immediately. made sure of that, saying that I am the only one who could possibly help. I didn't give it too much thought, figured someone was so badly injured that they thought I was the only one who could stomach it, but I was wrong, so wrong…

There were three of them: a woman and two males, in places ripped open to the bones, bites all over them, too many of them to count and that wasn't the worst part. The woman and the older male were unconscious, but the younger one just lay there, not making a sound until he noticed me. He tried to hurt himself, pleading me to take his blood, told me how sweet it was… I couldn't stand it. I have never seen something so sickening before. I did many horrible things in those sixty years, yes. But would I do this? Never.

The bites were a work of newbies, vampires with no control,… It must have been them, Irefused to believe otherwise,but there was a whole group of them?We never did that. And the new ones wouldn't know how to compel them this good- the victims would be screaming in agony by then. I knew what that meant.

I… I kind of broke down after that. Went to Emma's and Andrew's in the middle of that night, threw them out of bed. I knew I shouldn't do that, I knew, but I needed someone. I told her how I felt about her. She was so understanding, knew something was wrong, tried to make me feel better, and yet saying what I knew she would. She loved Andrew, after all, she was pregnant with their third child.

I grew so angry at myself and I… I lost it a bit. No one was hurt, but they never looked at me the same way again... The next time I saw Emma was just a week before she died. She was eighty three then, yet the sharpness still hasn't left her. She asked me to look after her family for her. I am still keeping that promise. We talked about everything except the politics and my job… She had a good life."

He took a pause, then reluctantly returned back to his life story.

"I started to investigate the whole thing as soon as I was stable enough, and soon learned that those three weren't the only cases. People went missing. Solders, families who's bodies were never found... of course every side blamed the other, but there were stories about some of them returning as monsters, killing their loved ones. Everyone was so busy killing their enemies they never gave it much thought. It was the perfect time to create a whole army of vampires, and someone was well aware of that.

I came to the Bennet's, warned them , said they might need to flee. If someone knew about us, why wouldn't he know about the witches too? Besides the werewolves, they were the only ones who could be a match for us in strength. And I was sure the ones creating this unstoppable army wouldn't want that. I asked them for one more thing before they left to Europe, thought and as they promised, they complied me. They sealed this house from all vampires but me with the power of their dead. The spell that will go on forever, forever keep them safe…

There isn't much to tell after that. I went to look for the creators, but was far from careful enough. They had a web of sympathisers, and I got caught. It wasn't nice… They thought I was a spy maybe, an opponent. They were talkative enough, though. Said that the people I tried to save would die anyway, that they just helped them a bit before that. That the humans don't realize how much better we could all live if there was symbiosis. That none of them would have to die, that they need us to protect them.

They said that the army was only a backdrop, a tool to insure peace. They said they will rehabilitate the newbies after, helped them adjust. Said that the humans I saw were compelled not to feel any pain, that they were necessary victims to insure a bright future. They asked me how long I had to hide from them, of how many attacks on vampires I heard in the last year. How many stories of people stuffing them in churches and burning them. They told me about their idea for the system, the people giving blood a few times a year in order to stay protected, convinced me that there would be no victims, that it was the only solution. I knew some of their attitude was faked. I knew that, but I didn't think much about it. The whole thing was the only solution, right? The perfect solution. If they weren't doing it for the humans, they were doing it to protect themselves.

They offered me a job at the CRS in the making. A centre to protect the vampires, protect the humans form the supernatural… And I accepted.

It took me a while to notice how the mentality of the vampires has changed by the thoughts of their superiority. I believed in the idea of peace. I didn't need to hide anymore, didn't need to feel guilty for what I was; and that was just enough to outweigh that I had to cover my eyes from some things from time to time. I didn't even want to go to Europe when Stefan showed up on my doorstep around a hundred years ago. I was blinded, blinded by the freedom I had; and it didn't hurt that I had a lot of power. Even the wars I only took as an accustoming period. I never saw the system breaking; never saw it your way before. It was the perfect solution to all I ever wanted. It was necessary."

"Maybe it was, but not like this. It wasn't made to create peace-it was made to create a hegemony, a dictatorship. Power is all the Michelson's ever wanted." Elena pointed out, leaning her head back until it pressed against the wall. "The system has to be there, but it shouldn't be like this."

"So, we change it." Damon's words were quiet, but certain. "And we will do anything we need to do so."

He could imagine the twinkles in her eyes when she looked at him, feel the smile on her face growing. "Even go to Europe?"

He offered his hand to her and smiled when she took it, sealing his words by placing a kiss on her knuckles.

"Even that."


Thanks to jairem, vladelena, gaudeamusigitur, delenalu (check your e-mail friend ;)) and fanaticalParadox (I am SO sorry you had to wait so long, but I hope you liked this chapter. My mother tongue is Slovene. :) ) who reviewed the last chapter. I know it has been long, but I hope you are still as interested in this story as I know I am. Much love,

AGirlThatDaresToDream