Chapter 19- "Me + Yr Daughter" Natalie Portman's Shaved Head

"Hey hoe bags! …Oh my god! … Did you guys see the pictures on Perez?" A very chipper Kyla skipped into the patio. Apparently hangovers don't affect the Davies' offspring. "I look soo hot… and YOU TWO!"-she pointed an accusatory finger at the still scantly clad girls-"… I knew it! … You know when Ashley told me how she felt I was…"

"Kyla! Not now…" Ashley scolded.

"Oh sorry did I interrupt? … I thought you guys would be done by now. I know that those fics say my sister is a beast in the sack, but I hardly believed any of it was true... Wow Spencer you're turning kind of blue" Kyla finally noticed, forcing Ashley to pry her 'I'm going to beat you over the head with my brand new Fender until you stop talking' eyes, away from her blabbing sister.

"Whoa… Spencer honey, breath… It's going to be ok… just breath…" Ashley was reassuring the stupefied blonde who was staring blankly at her phone. At least it had finally stopped ringing. "Look maybe Glen's just being an asshole… maybe she didn't see it… Maybe she's just calling about Sunday dinner." Spencer just shot Ashley a scolding look, silently berating her for being so optimistic. "Fine! Just listen to the message then… we'll panic after… deal?" Spencer managed to nod in agreement, handing the phone to Ashley so she could do the honors. After taping the screen a few times she let the message flow loudly through the speaker.

"You have one new message… BEEP...

"Spencer honey. It's… mom…" A faint grinding noise could be heard between the overtly sweet words that were laced with pure contempt. "I just wanted to check up on you sweetie. Make sure you were coming to dinner tonight. We need to talk dear… Just a few things I want to run over with you before everyone gets here, ok? I love you. Call me.

…BEEP..."

"Oh shit." Both girls muttered simultaneously.

"What?" Kyla looked at the two wide-eyed girls confused by their strange behavior "I thought you loved Sunday dinner at the Carlin's Ashley?"

"Yeah… Except when Paula wants to kill me for violating her sweet and innocent child on the dance floor."

"You got THAT from that message?"

"You obviously don't know Paula. She's fucking insane…"

"Ashley!" Spencer finally spoke.

"Sorry… I just know she's never really liked me."

"Can you blame her? ..I mean you guys JUST hooked up and there are like a million pictures of you on the internet...Even I wouldn't let you near my daughter... although I mean she would be your niece so I guess even YOU wouldn't..."

"Kyla! Shut up!"

"I have to go." Spencer added suddenly.

"Where?!"

"Home."

"What?! …Home? Home-home? You mean actually go to the mad woman's house? Where she has knives and various other sharp objects … You're crazy right? Did you NOT just hear that message?"

"I have to go" Spencer insisted.

"Spencer wait!" Ashley grabbed Spencer's hand to detain the fleeing blonde. She managed to mutter the only thing she was absolutely sure of "…I love you." And she said it as tender and as sincere as the moment would allow.

"I… have to go…" Spencer ran out of the patio before Ashley could protest any further. Before Ashley could finally come crashing down from her temporary high.


The cab carrying the anxious blonde pulled up to the familiar Carlin home.

Spencer contemplated jumping out of the moving vehicle approximately 67 times since she hopped into the yellow car. She really believed the injuries she'd sustain would be far less painful than the damage her mother would surely impose on an immoral daughter. It had to be. Sure Paula Carlin was a nice caring Christian woman but she was a ruthless monster when it came to the gays. Even though she did her best to deny it, Spencer knew her mother well. She knew there was a little bit of evil inside her and she was afraid of the hell it would unleash. Spencer's brain started brewing again; conjuring up the different scenarios her slightly insane mother might've had in store for her.

She thought maybe her mother would be waiting with a bucket of holy water and a priest, in an attempt to exorcise the gay out of her. But she asserted that since it was Sunday the priests would be too busy with mass and other 'priest-ly' duties.

She proceeded to think that maybe her mother would be waiting with a large homemade cage, prepared to lock her up and keep her under constant surveillance and away from Ashley. Away from the threat. Away from her happiness.

The thought of being kept from Ashley pained Spencer in unimaginable ways. It broke her heart to think about being away from those beautiful brown eyes. It burned her stomach to think about not being able to touch or hug the pretty brunette. And it made her dizzy when she thought about never being able to kiss those addictive lips again.

Yet the most painful thought that she fabricated was of her mother holding a suitcase packed with all of her belongings, banishing her from the Carlin residence, her home, her family.

Spencer had been volunteering at the Gay and Lesbian Center for quite some time and she'd heard the horror stories from teens that suffered that same fate; kicked out of their homes by their loving parents over something they had no control over. When she freaked out for the 69th and final time and concluded that jumping would be the best option (surely her parents wouldn't kill her if she were already deeply harmed), the cab pulled up to the warm and welcoming looking abode. It was too late.

Spencer stood at the front door for exactly 3 minutes. She was afraid of what the other side of the frightening door had in store for her. The anticipation and the fear were definitely unnecessary additions to her already queasy stomach, sweaty palms, and head pounding hung-over state. The last thing she needed was to hurl her green shake in front of her parent's home (which was only a mild emotional outburst away from happening.) Spencer's mind was racing a mile a minute, thinking about how unfair this whole situation was, which in turn made her even queasier. The thought that she'd never have to feel this guilty had been someone else, a guy someone else, made her head spin faster. Spencer had to fight harder to keep from hurling.

She eventually convinced herself that she really didn't do anything wrong, so she didn't deserve to be punished.

So she and Ashley danced a little close to each other. That wasn't so terrible. It was certainly nothing to throw the bible at.

And all she really saw was a topless Ashley. That didn't mean anything. She had seen lots of topless girls at the gym. Not that they could compare. So what if she just happened to witness a perfectly shaped body with nice arms and spectacular breasts. There was nothing wrong with admiring her best friend's incredible naked body. And of course her soft lips and amazing kisses. "Ooooh yes, they were soft and AMAZING… God, I'm sooo gay!"

"Spencer?" Paula opened the door as Spencer's mind started drifting to her happy place.

"Mom!" Then she was startled back into reality.

"What are you doing out there? Come on in… I have a surprise for you…" Yup, there was definitely a cage waiting for her.

As Spencer made her way into the familial house she noticed that all of her closest friends, excluding Ashley and Kyla, were sitting in the living room. At least there was no sign of a cage. Maybe they were going to build it together and enjoy a fun bonding experience.

Spencer reluctantly made her way into the room that held everyone from her father Arthur, brother Glen to her brother's girlfriend/close friend Chelsea and Madison and Aiden. Spencer was temporarily relieved when she was greeted by a roomful of smiling faces.

Maybe they HADN'T seen the pictures.

"Hey guys. What's going on? … What are you guys doing here so early?" Spencer asked as she made her way towards the pack. No answer. "What? …Is this like an intervention or something?" Spencer joked. No one laughed. "Guys, it was a joke." Everyone smiled awkwardly and looked anywhere but the confused blonde, prompting her to suspicion. "Mom! What the hell is going on here?" Paula carefully approached the now very aware blonde and cradled her hand in hers.

"Spencer honey… You know we love you very much... We just wanted to bring you here so we could talk to you sweetie. We're concerned about you and we want to help you"

"How!? … By ambushing me! …With an intervention! … A GAY intervention!? …Are you kidding me mom! …" Spencer immediately grasped the situation and was appalled by the sight before her. "…This is fucking ridiculous!"

"Spencer, watch your language!" Paula yelled but quickly composed herself. "… Now there is no need to raise your voice sweetie. We just want to talk. We want to get to the bottom of your problem and help you fix it."

"I don't have a problem MOM!"

"Yes you do, and her name is Ashley. Now unfortunately we've all had the displeasure of viewing those horrific pictures on-line and it is apparent to all of us that she was… attacking you."

"What!?"-Spencer scoffed incredulously-"No mom! I wasn't being ATTACKED."

"Oh honey it's ok. You're with your friends and family, you don't have to be scared to tell the truth…"

"The truth? …You mean like how 'I' threw myself at Ashley in an effort to seduce her?" There was no need for censorship at this point. Spencer was rightfully pissed and her brain was desperately trying to grasp the ludicrous situation she was currently experiencing.

"Oh don't be silly." And Paula was in serious denial. "Now Spencer, please listen to what we have to say. Let us express to you how your problem is affecting us. We've all written letters and we want to read them aloud to you so you know how we truly feel… Arthur why don't you go first…" Mr. Carlin stood up from his spot on the couch.

"Dad?" Spencer's voice cracked. If she had hoped anyone would be behind her, it was her kind open-minded father. Her dad, who was now standing up, about to tell her and her friends how much he hated her for being and feeling the way she did.

"Spencer… from the moment you were born and I held you for the first time in my arms I knew that you were special. I knew that I would always love you, that you would always be my sweet little girl… I just want you to know that after all these years that still holds true. I love you no matter what… And I hope that I've taught you unconditional love as well. And I hope that YOU love your family unconditionally inspite of OUR flaws. Like I hope that I've taught you to see the beauty that's inside a person …Because I know that someone as beautiful as you, inside and out, can only love someone because they have an amazing heart and a beautiful soul… and if Ashley is the person whom you have fallen in love with, then I have no doubt in my mind that she is a very special person as well…"

"Dad." Spencer wiggled her way out of her mother's tightening grasp and ran to her father who was waiting with open arms.

"Honey I don't care who you love, you're my daughter and I will ALWAYS love you..." Spencer started sobbing grateful tears into her father's hug.

"I love you too Dad." She sobbed harder into his jean jacket covered arms.

"…Plus I really like Ashley." He added honestly and with a smile.

"Arthur! …What are you saying?" Paula was now the one staring incredulously around the room.

"Paula… Our daughter doesn't have a problem. You do. In fact everyone here agrees with me… No one cares who Spencer is in love with, as long as they treat her right and make her happy…"

"Yup… plus Ashley's hot!" Glen interjected causing Spencer to pull away from her tight embrace and look over to her brother who was giving her a thumbs up.

"Yeah I don't care… more guys for me." Madison added.

"They're actually really sweet and cute together. I love it!" Chelsea included. Spencer's head started spinning. This was definitely not one of the scenarios she'd imagined. Plus the emotional roller coaster she was on was making her insanely queasy.

"Actually I care… I'm NOT just going to sit back and let you take Ashley away from me that easily…" The ever so brilliant Aiden interrupted.

"News flash 'menzo'! Ashley doesn't want you. Get over it!" Madison was quick to burst Aiden's bubble.

"Yeah you should really move on Aiden. They REALLY love each other." Chelsea was trying to let him down easy.

"Yeah you're being kind of pathetic dude… and an asshole. This isn't even about you." Glen not so much caring about his feelings. Aiden was outnumbered so he just kept his stupid mouth shut. Flexing his pecks in defeat instead.

"See Paula? … Everyone can see how happy Ashley makes our daughter… In fact we're all ACTUALLY here because we want to help you with YOUR problem. We all want and need you to accept that we've done a great job raising a kind, caring and wise young woman who is capable of making her own decisions… without an intervention"

"No! I can't accept that!" Paula wasn't budging.

"That's ok, we don't expect you to change overnight so I've arranged for us to go to therapy as a family. It will help you sort out the issues that are really bothering you and help you cope with them instead of taking it out on our daughter."

"You want me to believe that I have the problem and not HER? … You think our daughter committing a despicable act against nature ISN'T a problem? It's in the bible Arthur! ...What will our neighbors think… the women in the PTA and the congregation at church?"

"Who cares! This is our daughter's happiness we're talking about. Don't you care about her? Isn't SHE the most important thing you should think about?"

"Spencer honey tell me this isn't true…" Paula hustled over towards Spencer taking her daughter's face in between her palms, pleading for answers. "…Tell me I didn't make you this way" Spencer was still shocked unable to form words "…is it because we moved to this atrocious city? …Is it because I wasn't around as much? … Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? …Spencer. Spencer! …Answer me!" Paula started shaking her daughter as if the answers would fall out of her like leaves on a tree. This was only making Spencer queasy and frustrated. She finally broke.

"What do you want me to say MOM!? Huh? What do you want to hear? … That… I did this to hurt you? That I USED Ashley to hurt you? That all this time I've known you've been suspicious of us and so I did this just to spite you? Because I don't LOVE Ashley? Because I wish never met her? Because the thought of kissing Ashley repulses me? …"

"It's true… You have nothing to worry about Mrs. C… She doesn't love me that way. She made it perfectly clear to me that we are JUST friends."

"Ash!?"

.


A/N: These past three chapters have really been kicking my ass. I think I'm running out of juice and adjectives; two very important elements in the FanFic community. I am excited about the next chapter though. It'll be chock full of juice and thesaurus words!