A/N: To Zoe, who makes me cry in my DM's about Samtrick.
"But there was a difference between being stuck and choosing to stay. Between being found and finding yourself." - Martina Boone
"I need to ask you something"
Her eyes are closed, and their feet are tangled under their blankets as a smile comes to her face, "I already asked you to marry me" she teases.
As the sound of his laugh falls from his mouth, she can picture the way his brown eyes shine when he's amused, that smirk spreading across his face as he shakes his head, "Technically, I asked you first" he tells her.
"I asked you second"
He turns over, and pulls her close to him, leaning in to capture her mouth, slow kisses before he pulls back, "And I thank the universe every day" he whispers.
Slowly, her eyes open to meet his, "So what did you want to ask me doctor?" she whispers huskily, turning to her side, arms reaching up to wrap around his neck.
Dimples etch in his cheeks, and his hand rises to stroke her hair, "I know we were talking about Danny, and preschool this morning. Sam, he's...so smart, and the way he can build and put stuff together, it's amazing" he marvels and her insides warm at the way he talks about her son, full of the same light and love that exudes when he talks about Emma.
"Okay"
"So I was thinking, and we have to start now because the wait list, but what if we enroll him in Crittendon?" he asks and she bites her lip, thinking of the fancy preschool that both of her sisters went, "It's where Emma went, and we'd have priority because we've already had a kid who went"
Their kids.
Their little family.
Her eyebrow quirks and her hand comes to his face, "You been thinking about this a lot?" she asks.
Licking his lips, he smiles, "It's important to me, to see him be somewhere where he can fully realize his potential, he's such an amazing kid"
It overwhelms her and she's leaning in, "You're pretty amazing too" she whispers against his lips as his body melds into hers.
"Yeah" he asks cockily.,
"Yeah"
"I'll show you amazing" he says rolling on top of her, his mouth on her neck, and her toes curl as his lips worship her skin.
The brochure sets in her hands and she flips through it, the different programs the school offers, so different than anything she had ever imagined she could give a child. Let alone, her child. She was a mom, and in that she had found a purpose greater than anything she had experienced.
"Whatcha looking at" Jason asks, a smile on his face, so unassuming and self assured.
Closing it, she hands it to him, "Looking into preschools for Danny" she tells him, as he opens it up and flips through it.
"Whoa" he marvels, "Fancy...uh...this is…" he says putting it down, "I didn't realize how, uh, advanced, a preschool would be. I pictured blocks and nap time" he says chuckling.
Nodding she pulls the book back, "Yeah I know, it's kinda crazy but, I don't know, maybe someplace like this could really be good" she says, still unsure herself, wishing she could call him to help her make the decision.
Pushing back, Jason gets up, takes his plate to the sink, "Hey, listen" he tells her, coming back, hands on her shoulders, rubbing the tension softly, "Whatever you decide is going to be the right choice, you're a great mom" he whispers against her hair, a soft kiss on her head.
There is something so sincerely honest that for a moment, she can almost remember how it used to be, "Thank you" she says turning around to meet his eyes.
He grins, shrugs in that boyish way that's so new to her,, leans down and gives her a quick peck on the forehead, and the moment is lost.
OoO
The counter at Kelly's is empty as her and Danny make their way to to the counter, "Large coffee to go, please" she asks the new girl behind the counter.
"AND A COOKIE" Danny exclaims, crawling up onto the stool.
A smile lights the younger girls face and she laughs, "And a cookie, please" she repeats looking at him.
"PWEASE" he mimics.
"A large coffee and our biggest cookie, coming up" she says and heads back to the coffee before turning around, "I'm gonna brew a new pot, is that okay?" she asks.
"Perfect"
When the bell jingles, she's not expecting him but it's the little voice she hears first, "DANNY" followed by her son practically launching himself off the stool.
"EMMA" he cries, running towards the little girl who throws her arms around him.
Then her eyes trail to the door.
There he is, golden tanned, dimples barely peeking out when he spots her, and since it's purely by happenstance, she takes that as a sign that it's okay to talk to him, to ask his advice, to lean against him once again .
"Hey" he says cooley, and if she closes her eyes, she can remember the way his arms used to creep around her from behind, his face in her neck, breathing her in.
"Large to go for me too" he tells the waitress who is writing down a phone order and she nods in acknowledgement, "And another cookie" he says with a smirk and she can't help the flood of warmth that lights her skin, that they still run in parallel lines.
There is a nervous tension between them, and she's softly falling on the balls of her feet, "Uhm, I had a question I wanted to ask you" she tells him, finally breaking the silence.
"Sure" he says and he does the thing where he curves in, tilts his head, fully engaged in whatever she is saying, and sometimes it still amazed her to watch the way he nodded as he absorbed whatever she said, made her feel listened to, input appreciated. It reminded her of the past, more than she cared to admit, to the first person who ever made her feel valued, like that, because that tether had altered the future she thought she was going to have.
"I got the pamphlets back...from the preschool and I" she starts, chewing her lip softly, "It's overwhelming" she admits, quirking her brows endearingly.
A chuckle falls from his lips as the waitress brings their coffees, two cookies in the same bag, and without thinking he pulls out money and tosses it on the counter for both of them, like he had done dozens of times before, "You don't" she starts and he shrugs as he nods his head towards the door.
"Ems and I were heading to the park, if you and Danny aren't busy, we'd love for you to join us"
"YES PLEASE SAM, PLEASE" Emma asks, her eyes wide and lit up and Danny is looking at her expectantly, like if she makes the wrong decision, she'll be paying for it at naptime.
Smirking, she looks from the kids, back to him, "Yeah, we can do that"
"Yay!" Emma cries out followed by her son clapping in agreement.
OoO
Emma takes Danny's hand and they walk together the entire way while her and Patrick follow, arms grazing occasionally as they do, which makes her feel connected in a way she hasn't felt since he's been gone, tethered to something again.
They sit on a park bench as the kids climb all over the playground, Emma sliding down with Danny, pushing him on the swing, just like a big sister, and it grips her heart in sadness for all they had lost...trying to remind herself that they gained something back too.
"Alright so what's up" he asks, "I know you were concerned it was too much"
It's honest and open and she pulls the brochure out and stares at her son, laughing, running across the woodchips that soften the floor, "I just don't want to put too much pressure on him, I want him to be able to be a kid" she admits before turning back to look at him.
His leg is pulled up onto the bench, cocked slightly so he can turn into her, and it's in an instant that she realizes the start juxtaposition isn't because Jason doesn't...he can't, not anymore, not in the same way, and a big part of that is that she doesn't know how to let him fully back in. Not when there was someone else who had picked up the pieces and put her back together.
"I understand" he said, "I had the same fear about Emma...pushing too much. It's why Robin and I went with Crittendon, it's a great school that focuses on learning but they allow the kids to play, and be kids. I mean, look at Emma, she's excelling in school but she's still a kid"
Nodding, she hears their children, "MOMMY" Danny calls followed by Emma, "DADDY" and they both turn.
Danny beams at her from the top of the biggest slide, "MAMA COME WATCH" he yells and she grabs her phone, pulling it out to film and runs over to the bottom of the slide, Patrick coming behind her.
"Yeah buddy" he yells, clapping and then he bounds down, Emma holding him, in a giggling heap.
She's too busy laughing and scooping him up to notice the stranger walk by, "Sir, you have a beautiful family" the man tells Patrick with a hearty laugh and a slap on his shoulder.
But it's his response that guts her, cuts off the ventricles of her heart and she can't tell if the lack of breath is causing death or euphoria, "Yes" he says with a soft smile, one dimple etched in his left cheek, "I do, thank you" he whispers and everything that is right is wrong.
