Nancy
With her forefinger hooked into the back of the flat, Nancy pushed her foot in and stood up. She turned her leg left, balanced on her toes and admired herself in the mirror. The miniature pearl design was a nice touch, but, "I look a little matronly, don't I?" she asked.
Her mom rolled her eyes playfully and returned to the rack, finger pressed against her lip, scanning the sets of formal shoes. She pulled down a box and handed it to Nancy. "Maybe stick with heels, then, hm?"
Nancy kicked off the flats and slipped into the new strappy heels her mom selected. The harsh fluorescent lights gave her skin a cold, clammy appearance and emphasized the dark rings that were beginning to form under her eyes. She smiled at her mom. "These are great," she said brightly.
She looked longingly through the windowed storefront. When did shopping become such a chore? Avoiding her reflection, she dropped the shoes back into their box and pulled her sneakers on.
Outside the sun shone from a cloudless sky, adding a brilliant weightlessness to the afternoon. Shoppers dotted the sidewalk, wearing t-shirts with sweaters tied around their waists or draped over their shoulders, everyone eager for the coming summer months. Nancy closed her eyes for a moment and let the sun's warmth settle over her.
"Nancy?" came Steve's voice.
Opening her eyes, Nancy spotted him a few storefronts down the road. She caught her mom's eye and pointed to Steve. "Give me just a minute to say hi?" she asked, handing over the shopping bag.
"Excited for graduation?" Steve asked.
"Yeah," Nancy replied. "It'll be nice." Noticing Steve's concerned look, she realized her answer sounded forced. She pointed over her shoulder at her mom. "I'm actually out shopping for shoes to wear at the ceremony."
He didn't look convinced. "Cool," he said, nodding slowly. "You okay, Nance?" He looked like he was going to touch her cheek, then thought better of it and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "You look… tired."
"Uh, yeah," Nancy admitted. "Er, no, I'm not. I mean… I'm just nervous about graduation. I'm fine."
Steve shot her a disbelieving look. Behind him the storefront windows of a drugstore were plastered with ads and notices: help wanted, a sale on Coke-a-Cola, free kittens, missing person, Camel cigarettes. A wave of dull pain throbbed from the base of her skull forward. Nancy pinched the bridge of her nose and shut her eyes. Maybe she was coming down with something.
She dropped her hand and smiled up at Steve, bright-eyed and agreeable. "It's just nerves, trust me," she assured him. "I'll see you at graduation."
The kiss. Was it a kiss? It was so quick, like a peck. A friendly… meeting of the lips?
"Ugh," Nancy moaned, dropping her head in her hands. She had to stop going over it again and again in her head. She was going crazy trying to define that moment with Jonathan. Meeting of the lips? Who thinks that way?
She pulled nervously at the collar of her pajamas and began reciting the speech to prepare for graduation tomorrow. "We are more than a graduation class," she spoke softly the words she'd memorized weeks before. "We're the generation that will pave the way…" Nancy trailed off as her mom appeared in the doorway.
"Ready for tomorrow?" she asked brightly.
Nancy held her speech up. "Yeah, I think so," she replied. "All memorized."
"Then maybe it's time for bed?" her mom suggested. "You've been looking pretty tired lately. Rest up for tomorrow." She flicked off the overhead, so just Nancy's nightstand lamp glowed in the dark.
Nancy smiled resignedly. She nodded and her mom closed the door.
Alone with her thoughts, the kiss resurfaced. The way they'd held each other, how perfect it was, his warmth enveloping her and shielding her. Then she'd pulled away, but not completely. She hovered, inches from him. Why hadn't she just pulled completely away? Why did she have to kiss Jonathan?
Nancy buried her face in her hands again, blushing furiously for no one to see.
She turned off the lamp and her room plunged into darkness. As she closed her eyes, one thought emerged from the rest, Why hadn't she kissed him longer?
