A/N: Sorry I took forever, thank you for all your kind words.
"At the end of the day, it isn't where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I'm going and never have been before." - Warsan Shire
I need your help
She's in a meeting with a client before she can respond but her heart is beating like a battering ram against her ribs as she texts back, What's up?
Can you meet me at the hospital, the 15th floor deck, 2:15?
Softly she pulls her lip between her teeth, chewing softly, two friends, right? Just going to help someone out. That's what she repeats to herself as she answers in the affirmative and grabs her keys.
They haven't seen each other since the park the week before, and she'd been purposely avoiding the spots she thought he might be. Too many thoughts and decisions swirl around her, and being around him just makes everything, effortless again. She tells herself that her and Jason just need time alone, together, to rediscover each other, for her to learn the stitches of his fabric, to stop looking for the old familiarities that bound them together.
OoO
She takes the service elevator up, ducking in and out before anyone can notice, early, and unsure still about how she feels being here, meeting him. But you're friends. Buddies. Pals. the voices whisper in her ear, the hot breath of a lie she tells herself because it hurts less to run her fingers over the cracks in her that his absence had left.
Wringing her hands, she grips the railing and stares out at the city, the fog rolling over the marina, the colors of the boats misty, like someone smudged their colors on a canvas. She was never meant to be here, or maybe she was always meant to be here, because she's always been a contradiction of copper wrapped glass...seemingly unbreakable but the cracks under the facade had cut her much longer than she cared to admit.
"The city looks so picturesque from up here" comes from behind her.
Deep and warm, honey on weary bones.
Slowly, she pivots on the heel of her boot and smiles, "Everything looks prettier from far away" she teases, a familiar arch of a brow as she looks at him.
That garners dimples and he looks over her shoulder, out to where her gaze was, "Nah, some things you can only experience, up close" he says, and his tone is laced with a million things they dare not say. Because they're at peace now, because they're happy now...because, she could never love him the way she loved Jason.
Right?
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looks away, and then back, meeting his gaze. He's smirking again, the heaviness of the moment no longer making the air murky, like she's drowning under the weight of everything that sinks her.
"I know you're busy but I need some help" he says the vein in his forehead pulsing softly as the smile fades from his features.
Nodding, she crosses her arms, protectively over her chest, "Uh, okay, now I'm worried" she tells him as he walks towards her, takes a seat in one of the wide lounge chairs, her body unconsciously sliding down onto the arm, like she's done dozens of times in the past. Turning into him, "Is it Emma" she asks, hoping she concealed the lump in her throat at the idea of anything being wrong with the little girl.
Clasping his hands together, he looks down at them sitting in his lap and then back up at her, stoic, "No, no, nothing like that" he assures her, "It's more professional"
"Okay" she responds, eyebrows quirking, their gazes still locked.
Licking his lips, he turns into her, more intimately, pulling one leg up so he can angle his body towards her, "I have a patient" he starts, "A kid about Emma's age. He has a brain tumor. We're planning on doing surgery"
She's nodding, slightly confused but his adam's apple bobs with emotion while he averts his eyes slightly, "I'm hoping I can save him..but uh...he asked me to find his dad for him...just...in case..." he admits, brown eyes filling with tears.
There is an itching in her palms to reach out, to wrap her arms around him and try to soothe him but she doesn't trust herself enough to do that, to touch him with such familiarity and pull back away. So she reaches a hand and places it over his, his long fingers tangling with hers, "His mom told me, that she looked for him but she's exhausted her resources and they don't have the money" he continues, "I know it's a time crunch because the surgery is in 3 weeks…"
Her hand squeezes his his, tightening their tether, "I'll find him, give me any info, and I'll find him" she tells him, surely, tone full of conviction, because if she can do this for him, anything for him, she will.
OoO
The doors closes behind her and Jason comes out of the kitchen, "Hey you" he says, that smile, so familiar, yet still so strange, "Uh, Danny begged to stay at the mansion with Monica" he tells her, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking slightly on the balls of his feet, "Hope that's okay" he asks still so unsure of himself.
Smiling, she looks at him, really looks at him, studying the curves of his face, trying to remember, aching to remember the way her hands had memorized the topography of his body. His eyes, they're still the same...they have been the same, but she couldn't remember them. Not for the year he was running around town with a new face, new name. She couldn't look into them and know...because the connection she felt with him, was a dull hum, instead of the earth shattering way that Jason used to look at her.
"You okay?" he asks, the low timbers of his voice making the hairs on her arms stand on edge.
Nodding, she forces a smile, "Yeah, yeah, just, cases, a lot on my mind" she explains, because that's it, too many emotions, she's overwhelmed.
He comes towards her, wrapping his arms around her and she rests her head on his chest, inhaling the smell of his t-shirt, trying to find her way home. He made it back to her, she owes it to make it back to him, right?
But how do you make it back home, when that place no longer exists?
