Shinobu…disappeared.
Of course it had to have been because of what happened last chapter that drove her away but it troubled me so I called her parents. She was there and fine.
I feel like barfing.
As I sat at my desk all I could do was think about what happened. It was the right thing to do; the whole point was to get her to back off. But why in hell do I feel so crappy now? All I can do is think about Shinobu day and night.
This could not be…what they call…love?
"NO WAY IN HELL!" All the books from my desk went scattering to the floor.
"What the hell are you doing professor?" I turned as Kamijou came in. She looked at the ground with a sigh, "geez and after I just organized this."
"Say whatever woman but I am venting my frustrations now."
"You wanna start a fight." She glared at me, forcing me to keep my mouth shut. "I do not care if you are venting your anger but do not let it affect your work. I even got the data you wanted and that was hard to get." Last thing I wanted to hear was another lecture.
But, Kamijou has a boyfriend herself, so maybe I should get a woman's point of view on this issue. "Um, Kamijou, can I ask for your opinion."
"What is it."
"Now, this is just a 'what if' problem alright. Nothing more than that."
"Sure sure, hurry up and ask then."
It was now or never. "You see…there is this girl who is always following me around and likes to comment all the time that they love me and all. Really like a stalker."
"A stalker?"
"Really a drag for me. I told her many times I do not see her that way since she is not my type but she completely ignores me and keeps going. I was wondering, from a girl's point of view, what should I do?"
She took a moment of silent. Her face spotting a light blush that made me wonder what she was thinking about. "I think that girl will do what she wants no matter what. Well, if she is fine with the way things are now than there should be no problem. But professor, the fact that you are stressing over this yourself, I feel that you might be liking her yourself."
WHAAAT? NOOO!
"Of course you said this was an 'what if' scenario right!" She laughed nervously.
"But what if…she is…much younger."
It was silent. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU MENTIONING YOUNGER LOVERS? YOU TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT WITH ME?"
"WHY ARE YOU GOING CRAZY?"
"SO WHAT IF HE WAS NICE! ALL HE DID WAS STALK ME IN MY WEAK TIMES AND CONTINUED FOR SIX YEARS. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?"
"ENOUGH KAMIJOU."
I still have no way of dealing with this. Since Shinobu left I cannot help but feel a little bit lonely. But it could not matter. How could I date someone who is not even 18? Yes, this was convenient for me. I am a coward, only thinking about my own security.
I also am starting to sound depressing.
When I entered my home I was surprised to see Shinobu there. "Miyagi?" It was only a couple of days but it felt like forever since I last heard her voice. "I'm sorry for coming in uninvited but I left my notebook. I will be leaving now."
"Wait." What am I doing?! I grabbed her arm. "Stay for some tea. It has been awhile."
Someone hates me. How the hell did I get myself into this awkward situation? Oh wait, I put myself there. I handed her a cup, hearing her mumble thank you, and sat on the opposite side.
Silence.
"So, how are your classes going?" That is worse than asking about the weather.
She shrugged. "Ok I guess." She will not even look at me. What do I say? "So. You keep mentioning it was destiny meeting me but other than saving you how is it destiny?" What the hell am I saying?! She blushed brightly but still kept looking at the cup. "Uhh…."
"You…are always at the public library."
"How do you know that?"
She sighed. "I used to see you a lot there. You always had tons of books with you. At first I thought it was weird but you always had such a pleasant smile. And then you were the same person who saved me from those muggers so of course it is fate."
That was surprising to hear. "Wow. Actually, the only memories I had of you was at the wedding reception. You kept glaring at me from the front row so I figure you hated me." The thought still made me shiver at the nasty look from her.
"Well what else could I do?!" I jumped as Shinobu stood up. "To think that man I loved was marrying my sister. I thought for sure my fate was cursed. After that I swore I would give up on you but then the next I hear you two were divorced."
"Does really mean it is fate?"
"Yes."
It went quiet again minus the deep breathing from Shinobu and I swear I could hear my heart pounding. This is not what a 35 year old should be going through.
"I'm leaving."
"Shinobu wait." We both headed for the door; her trying to run, me not knowing what the hell I was doing. I reached out and was able to grab her arm. "I am not finished talking." When she turned around I froze. So much sadness was in her eyes. She looked shocked with her wide eyes that it made me let go. She quickly ran out, slamming the door.
I stood there speechless; trying to figure out what happened while also figuring out what the hell I was doing. She seemed serious that time.
I do not know if I would see Shinobu after that and the thought hurt me.
Just what do I want?
A day later
Ring. Ring. "Hello? Ah Mr. Dean. Good work on the conference. How did it go?"
"It went good thank you for asking. I have a question for you Miyagi."
"Of course what is it?"
"Did something happen between you and Shinobu?" I froze. Do not tell me he found out?
"Um, why do you ask?" I tried to laugh it off.
"Shinobu wanted me to apologize to you and she has been acting really strange lately so I figured she must have inconvenienced you in some way."
"What? No? We were perfectly fine."
"I guess. But even you must have been shocked to hear she was going back to Australia."
What?
"She did not tell you? That kid."
"When does she leave?!"
"Oh uh. Today."
This damn brat. Getting off the phone quickly I rush out, ignoring anything Kamijou was saying and headed for my car. I barely kept the speed limit.
Shinobu was testing my patience. She shows ups speaking nonsense, drags me down into her fantasies without any remorse for how I feel, and then leaves at the sign of trouble. A child she is.
I practically ran to through the airport where I saw her sitting with a sulking face.
I am a coward and so unsure. I love my teacher but will I betray her if I love another? "Hey brat." Is she worth it? Shinobu turned to me with a look of shock. "I do not understand this thing about fate, nor do I even know if this is love. But, I think, I want to try loving you, Shinobu."
It was silent as it seemed she had not registered my words. And then her face scrunched as the tears came down.
That was not even a true confession, hell, I could be making stuff up now, but to her my words seemed to wash away any fear or trouble. The proof was still running down her cheeks.
I give up. She is definitely a terrorist.
