The young girl grinned broadly when she was handed the fork and shield. Her father nodded his head, looking down at her. He then corrected her grip on the fork, and nodded again. He then proceeded to teach her how to swing and stab at an opponent. She followed his instructions precisely, watching every movement and hanging on every word. It had taken much convincing, and a lot of teaching herself to get her father to teach her how to fight. She was not going to disappoint him now. It was easy enough when she was fighting air. In fact, her father said she was doing perfect then.

Later on, after her father had taught her the basics of the fork, she gained her first lesson in life. One she would learn too well.

She was facing him, for he trusted nobody else with her. She charged forward, giving a big yell. With his spear, he caught the fork and flipped it aside. She stumbled and fumbled with the fork. But she kept her balance. Turning back, she tried again. And again. And again. Each time he flipped her spear away. He yelled at her, telling her exactly what she was doing wrong. Each time she would find her balance and again try a different tactic against him. One time, she clung to the fork too tightly, and she twisted with the fork. She yelled in pain, and dropped the fork. Falling to her knees and grabbing her wrist she gave another scream.

Her father fell to his knee and looked at her wrist as tenderly as the mighty warrior could. "It'll be alright. Just twisted wrong. You'll be alright." He gave a chuckle, and then glanced up at her face. "Don't tell me you're going to cry about this, Cai."

"Daddy," she mumbled, sniffing.

"Come now. Weren't you telling me you wanted to be a big strong warrior like me? Warriors don't cry, Xing Cai," he declared, beating his chest. She nodded her head, blinking away the tears and sniffing. She wouldn't fail her Father. No, she was going to become strong like him. And if he didn't cry neither would she. She'd be the best. She grabbed the fork again, ignoring the pain, and stood come.

"Don't want to rest?" he asked, stepping back. She shook her head no, and took her stance. He gave a deep, approving laugh before taking his own stance.

She grew into a woman, with silky black hair that framed her doll like face. Her almond shaped, ocean green eyes became calculating, and her expression cooled. She grew into her body, gaining the lush curves of the woman, with long legs and full hips. Her temper the opposite of her fathers, her skill great, she became a warrior. A force to be reckoned on the battlefield. With shield and fork in hand, she would enter the battlefield beside her heroes. Beside the great Zhang Fei and Zhao Yun. While not yet on their level, she was planning to reach it one day. Soon, she would tell herself.

It happened when she was getting her arm bandaged. She had her eyes closed, expression void of emotion, and the healer was wrapping the white bandage around her arm. A soldier had landed a hit that would most likely leave a scar. She didn't mind. The pain was nothing, not anymore, and with such pale skin it wouldn't show. Releasing her breath, she turned to watch the healer clean his hands with a smile. He was a happy man. Bowing her head to him, she stood. "Thank you."

"I'm just glad you weren't hurt anymore than that, Lady Cai," the healer said. Nodding she excused herself and made it around the camp. She spotted the messenger running through the camp towards Liu Bei's tent. She stared at the flap for a long moment before continuing away. Later in the day she learned that Guan Yu and Guan Ping had been killed in their siege.

She had slowly nodded when she had been informed, ignoring all the people that stared after her. She had excused herself from the area, keeping her expression calm. She knew they watched her go. She knew they thought she would break down crying. Instead she made her way around to her tent. Dipping in she glanced around. She folded her legs under her, lighting a candle, and closed her eyes. She lost track of time, sitting there lost in her mind. But she was interrupted.

"Are you alright, Cai?" She twisted around to see Yun holding up the flap and staring at her. He had always thought of her, taking care of her.

"I am… as good as could be expected, Sir Yun," she said, her voice even. "It is a sad day."

"Yes, it is." Yun nodded, brows furrowed as he stared at her. "You are sure you are fine?"

"Very much so. The loss is nothing I cannot bear," she said, unfolding her legs to stand. "I shall honor their deaths by moving on and fighting for them." She gave him a small smile, clasping her hands as she moved to stand before him. He stared down at her, expression unreadable, before giving a slow sad nod. He knew what she meant. He knew what she was saying. Warriors didn't cry.

She still didn't shed a tear when she sat next to her dying father. He had a fatal wound, and was not expected to live through the night. Legs folded under her, she held one of his large hands and stared at his face. Behind her stood Liu Bie, Zhuge Liang, Zhao Yun, and her brothers. Fei gave a wheeze and then turned to her. He smiled, tightening his hold on her hand.

Quiet moments went by, some pretending he'd make it and other little conversations about memories. But the last thing he said was, "Now remember, Cai, warriors don't cry." He spoke quietly and now looked to the ceiling. "Everybody has to go sometime, and I'm lucky to die a warrior. You keep fighting. Make me proud. You're the daughter of the man who could stop thousands. You gotta live up to that, you hear? Keep fighting. Be my warrior." He glanced over at her, eyes drooping.

"I will father. I shall live up to your standards," she whispered.

"I'm tired now," Fie declared, and let his eyes close. She held tight to his hand long into the night. She blinked for a bit, and gave small sniffs, but not one tear fell. Eventually Yun gently helped her stand. She glanced up at him, eyes bright with unshed tears, and he spoke quietly to her as he led her out.

Liang glanced down at Fei before turning to Bie with a frown. "I would think she might have learned her lesson too well," he said, fanning himself gently. Bie nodded with a frown as well, stepping to stare sadly down at his brother.

Cai stared across the land from the balcony, leaning on her calloused hands. She glanced over her shoulder when Liang slowly made his way towards the balcony. Still carrying his large white feathered fan, he stared out at the stretch as well. He remained silent for a long time, and she was content to keep it that way. He did however, eventually break the silence. "How are you feeling Xiang Cai?"

"As well as could be expected," she said in return, not turning to look at him.

"Our lord has passed on," Liang said simply, turning to her.

"A great loss to Shu."

"A mighty blow," he said with a nod. She glanced up to him then, but kept her peace. "You are the Star of Shu now, Cai. The Light of Hope, our future."

"I do not think I am worthy of such titles," she said, standing now. Keeping her shoulders back, and spine straight, she faced the strategist. "I simply do as I am ordered, and kill my enemies."

"Whether you think you are worthy or not, that is how the people see you. A beautiful child who shines with hope for the future. That is not something you can change."

"You are right," she said with a small shrug.

"I will rely much on you in the future. There are few left who I can fully trust. Many of my trusted warriors have died. Can you handle this, Cai?"

"It is nothing I cannot bear," she whispered, almost sadly. He nodded, searching her face for something before giving up and taking his leave of her. She watched him go, and once he was out of sight, she turned back to the land. She gave a long, withering sigh. Her shoulders slightly dropped. Was this what she wanted? Could she really say? She was a woman, passed the natural age for marriage with no child in sight. A woman who fought besides the men. Everyday somebody died. It seemed somebody dear to her was always dying. Her father was long gone, her uncles were dead. Was this what she wanted?

No, she decided with a shake of her head. This was not what she imagined when she was young and decided she would be like her father. She didn't imagine this life for herself. But what child would? "But I wouldn't change my decision. I still am proud to fight for Shu. This is my place," she whispered into the wind, smiling. She was warrior. She didn't cry. She held strong and fought for those who could not. It was her privilege and honor to do so, and she would continue to do so until she was forcefully stopped. She would live up to her fathers standards.

I wrote this listening to Cowgirls Don't Cry, by Brooks and Dunn. I'm sure if you've heard the song, you can totally see the resemblance. It definitely didn't come out as good as I had hoped it would. But I need to update something to let y'all know I'm back. Haven't written much, but I do have Internet connection again. Its in Couples because there is a slight Xing Cai Zhao Yun thing going on. Slight, but I see it. (But I'm biased!)