Hey guys, guess who got a 100 on her B Law final? This girl! Sorry for the slow update, uni's been crazy what with finals and all. But I did well in my law classes, and got moved up to modern II, so that's always good! Anyway, all done and over, so on with the story! Special thanks to my beta!

Nerdyme12: Glad I can make you laugh! Elizabeth's life is basically one big blob of embarrassment. Poor girl never gets a break!

ballet2000: Thanks! ;)

LovePP: No filter at all! Have to say though, she makes us all feel collectively better about our own mothers!

ReadLoverNumber1: Charlie is definitely my favourite character. He just takes everything in stride!

Guest: Well, yes... I never claimed for this to be a serious story...

Jemma: I often find the more ridiculous the character,the more comedy abounds. Imagine the two off them together! (Netherfield ball, perhaps? ;)

Avanell: She really is, isn't she? My goal is to make it so that no mother can compare to the horror that is Mama B, while still maintaining her good intentions.

.60: I think Charlie is too polite to stand up for himself, to be honest. Lizzy isn't actually that overweight for a ballet dancer- generally one doesn't want to be more than 120 lbs, and she weights in at 115. However, she's about nine inches shorter than the average ballet dancer, so her weight manifests in her curves. (Shock and horror!) I'm Lizzie's height, but weigh in at almost twenty pounds less than her, which is what would be expected, but she is by no means overweight.

EvelynRo: Casting Carolyn as Paris is my crowning achievement. They would liven up any dinner party! And you're right, definitely not going for subtlety here. I'm more like trying to be as ridiculous as possible. And believe me, it's gonna get worse!;)

Broadway's Next Baby: Hope you didn't get in trouble for laughing in the library! I personally think Darcy and Charlie are perfect for each other, but they just won't admit it! I have a hard time imagining Lydia besides the LBD version as well- Mary Kate Wiles just gave her such a HUGE personality! I get the new to dance thing- I just started in Uni, and it's kicking my rear! it gets better :)

Karen1220: I feel like in the Regency Era, they were a lot better at picking up on social cues, and so I tried to make a modern Mrs Bennet even more ridiculous. We're much more blunt nowdays... Thank you!

Guest: Thank you!

Ladydipogo: No one understands Lizzie's sense of humour better than Lizzie herself! I agree with you there, my favourite parts to write are when Lizzie is carrying on a conversation with herself!


We all went out to a bar in order to drink away our parental induced woes, which was predictably awkward. Jane and Bingley-boy paired up immediately, leaving me and the Darcinator to sit in awkward silence.

"Look." I began. "Mama's always like that. I'm sorry you were subjected to a dinner with her, even though she did mostly ignore you."

"The way she treats you is abysmal." Darcy declared, and I frowned slightly.

"I've never been Mama's favourite, but she does it out of love. She worries that I'm not pretty enough to find a husband and that I can't support myself."

"The way she treats you is borderline abuse." Darcy replied, and I shook my head angrily.

Hold up.

This prat spends one night in my house and declares my mother abusive?

What the HELL is WRONG with him?

"The way you treat me is borderline abuse." I shot back. "Emotional abuse that is. You don't have room to speak."

"I am deeply sorry if you feel that way about me, but Elizabeth, the woman refused to feed you. You cannot tell me that is not physical neglect."

"I don't live in her house anymore. She's not obligated to feed me. Besides, you yourself made the statement behind my back that I could stand to lose weight."

"In a healthy manner of course, not through starvation. Is she trying to make you the next Anne, too frail to even dance?"

"What do you know of Anne?" I grumped. Homeboy barely knows the girl, and he's judging her too?

Of course, he hadn't even spoken to me before Mr. Judgy-McJudgerson sunk his claws into me.

"Anne is my step-cousin, I know quite a bit about her." Darcy rolled his eyes.

Prat.

"It would seem to me, then, that you're in a position of power to do something about her condition." I declared snarkily. He raised an eyebrow.

"I fail to see how it is my business."

"Anne is your relative, albeit not by blood. Lady B listens to you. You have the opportunity to save Anne's life, and you find it none of your business?" I raged. "Anne is a living, breathing human being worthy of your regard, and if I should find myself in your position, I should do everything I could to save her. As it is, I have, but Lady B does not listen to me. If you think saving Anne's life beneath you, then you need to have a reality check."

"If you'll excuse me." Darcy declared briskly, then left the bar.

What.

A.

Prick.

"Rough night?"

"You have no idea." I groaned, turning around to see this super-hot guy standing behind me.

"Perhaps you could enlighten me." Hot Guy shrugged, taking the seat next to me.

"I don't even know you. Why would I tell you the Bennet family drama?"

"Ooh, family drama. It's like you're my favourite kind of sitcom." He teased, but I just raised an eyebrow. "Right, sorry. Let's start over. I'm George Wickham, and can I just say you are the most gorgeous girl I have ever met?"

"Lizzie Bennet, and can I just say you are a liar?" I laughed.

"I'm not joking." George frowned, and I shrugged.

"You haven't met my sister Jane then." I laughed.

"So what brings you to this fine establishment, Lizzie? Boyfriend troubles?"

"I don't have a boyfriend, much to my mother's chagrin. My sister actually brought her boyfriend home and it's safe to say my mother turned it into the worst dinner ever. And she didn't even feed me."

"She didn't feed you?"

"She thinks I need to go on a diet."

"What? You're actually really skinny!" George declared, and I smiled.

"I think I love you." I joked. "Seriously though, I'm a ballerina. I'm skinny for a regular person, but too curvy for my job."

"A ballerina, huh? I used to have a friend that was a ballerina. Or, I guess, a ballerino."

"Only if you're Italian. Male ballerina's are called danseurs."

"I stand corrected." George replied, and I smiled.

"It's nice to meet a man who can accept that he's wrong with dignity."

"Well, if there's one thing I am, it's dignified." George declared proudly.

What a cutie!

"What do you do for a living?" I asked, and George's happy demeanor darkened immediately.

Oops.

"I'm in the RAF." He replied stonily.

Admirable.

But why's the guy so upset about it?

I for one think he should be proud to be serving crown and country.

"Why's that a bad thing?" I asked, kind of miffed. He grinned again.

"Oh, it's not. I was just thinking of the terrible things that led me to enlist. My life hasn't been easy, you know."

DRAMA QUEEN!

But you all know Lizzie loves a story.

"Do tell!"

Georgy-Porgie opened his mouth to reply, when who should waltz back over but Darcy.

And this, folks, is where it gets interesting.

"You!" Darcy declared vehemently.

"Me." George replied with a shrug.

Darcy glared quite formidably, might I add, then huffed and walked away.

WHAT WAS THAT?

"What is he doing here?" George spat, and I raised my brow.

"William? His aunt is my ballet instructor. He's here as a guest performer in our company. You know him?"

Stupid, Lizzie, Stupid! Of course George knows him. You think Darcy'd glare at a total stranger like that?

Then again, it is Darcy.

"Yeah, I know him. He's the friend I mentioned earlier."

Hot Guy say what?

I don't know about you, but I don't greet my friends by screaming "you!" at them like some kind of melodramatic standoff.

I never took Darcy to be the melodramatic type.

"I can see by your face you don't believe me. We're not friends anymore, see. My dad was his manger when he was just starting out. Before he was anybody. I mean, he was always somebody, the Darcy's come from old money, but I mean in the ballet world. Anyway, when my dad passed on, Will's dad kind of took me in. He wanted to give me a job as a choreographer, but I wasn't too into the ballet scene, so Mr. Darcy decided to send me school so I could become a lawyer, what I really wanted. Mr. D. was a great man. But when he died, Will took away the funds his dad provided me. I had to enlist in the RAF just to stay afloat."

Holy Cannoli!

I knew Darcy was insufferable, but this? This goes WAY beyond calling a stranger fat.

Homeboy's got some serious issues.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! How could somebody do something like that?"

"I don't really blame Will. I mean, his own father liked me more than him. He was probably just jealous."

This guy is TOO sweet! Cute, nice, funny…

How'd I get so lucky?

"You're too good! I could never forgive him as easily as that. You know my own mother just squandered my entire college fund on a liposuction? I can't imagine letting her off the hook as easy as you did."

"How well do you know Will?"

"Oh, uh, not that well. His friend Charles is dating my sister. He called me fat and a bad dancer once. And he's always staring at me. It's like he's waiting for me to mess up so he can mock me!"

"Sounds like Darcy. I have to say though, he was completely wrong. I've never seen a more beautiful girl in my life. Do you know his sister Georgia?"

"Um, no, I don't" I replied, reeling from George's seeming obsession with Darcy. It'd be nice if we could just talk about us, or books, or ballet, or art, or really anything else.

"She's a beautiful girl too. I was in love with her once, you know. We were going to get married. But Will ripped her away from me, and she turned out just as proud as he is." George sighed.

Didn't anyone tell this guy not to talk about his exes when he's chatting up a girl?

God, way to make me feel inadequate.

"You were going to get… married?" I asked, and George seemed to notice my discomfort.

"Oh, don't worry, love. Worst mistake of my life. We were young and stupid. I much prefer you now."

"Isn't she younger than you?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Yeah, she was… fifteen, I think. But it would have been legal if Will gave his permission." George shrugged, then caught my eye. "Not that I wanted it. Cause then I'd have never met you. And God, you're gorgeous, nice, and an excellent judge of character. Most people can't see past Will's nice guy façade, you know."

Will? Nice?

HA!

"You know, Charles want to throw a cocktail party for potential investors in Longbourne Company. All us girls have to go and play nice and hopefully bring in some more investors. Do you want to be my plus one?"

So I just met the guy. He's cute. Sue me.

"Well, if you have a plus one, how's that playing nice to the investors?" George winked. "They'll all wish they were me."

"Smooth." I laughed. "Darcy's gonna be there too, so it's probably for the best."

"Hey, babe. I'm joking. Wild horses couldn't drag me away. I'll be there."