"I need you, please. Baby, please, don't make me wait." Like a bitch in heat, I'm not above begging to be fucked. Around my cock, his lips stretch in a mischievous smile. He isn't done with tormenting my body, just yet. Sliding his tongue down my cock, he sucks my ball into his mouth. It only lasts for a moment, because his target is a little bit to the south. The tip of his tongue lightly caresses the folds guarding the entrance to my body. He knows what I like and doesn't spare any efforts in pleasing me. Fisting his hair, I thrust my hips forward, trying to make him lick my insides. He doesn't answer to my ultimatum, choosing to pucker his lips and press a kiss to my hole. To my delight, his kiss morphs into a passionate dance of invading and retreating possession. Moaning his name, I tug him up and into my arms, for I no longer can endure his sensual assault.

He pushes my naked body against the wall, pinning my hands above my head and kisses me fiercely. My man is slightly domineering, liking to keep me at his mercy. Being as tall as me, our bodies are perfectly aligned. I feel my hard nipples rubbing against the silky texture of his shirt; my hard cock thrusting against the rough material of his pants. He bites my lip, making me pant in desire. Sucking the injured flesh within his mouth, his tongue soothes the sting his teeth have created. Stepping away he regards me with an intent gaze that never fails to unsettle me.

"You are so beautiful, all hot and bothered, waiting for my cock." I wish I had the lucidity to offer a witty come back, but words evade me while I watch his nimble fingers making a quick work of his shirt's buttons. He takes his time parting the garment, taunting me with the promise of flesh to be exposed.

"Do you like to see me stripping? Or do you merely like what's underneath? Such a perverted little boy... Maybe you should atone for your sins by getting on your knees."

I follow his command, eagerly anticipating the pleasure of sucking him off. As always, I'm baffled by the sheer perfection of his body. All hard planes and pronounced muscles, his physical appearance is a tribute to the flawless statues of ancient Greece, except for his cock which stood taller and thicker than any of the miniatures depicted in the classical works of art. He chuckles loudly, letting me know that he is aware of my unabashed perusal of his body. Blushing, but determined to hold my own, I boldly stare at him while my right hand encircles my cock and my left pinches my nipple.

"Well, baby, if you don't want to play with me..." I don't get to finish my saucy comment, because the next thing I know, he has me on my back, biting my neck and grinding our cocks against each other. Peppering my chest with kisses, he sucks my nipple until I'm a slobbering mess, pushing my hips against his, trapping his head against my chest. My neglect nub throbs for attention. Noticing my need, he takes it within his mouth, but, instead of giving it the same gentle treatment, he clamps his teeth on it, like a beast trying to feast on the flesh of its prey. The onslaught of lust that follows, has my hand wrapped around his cock, trying to guide him inside my hole.

"Not yet my greedy bitch. You still have my cock to suck." Not a long time ago, I would be appalled by the crudeness of his remarks. But I'm no longer shy and skittish – I'm able to admit that I love the names he calls me. Whenever he refers to me as "his bitch", my cock twitches in need, for I love losing my mind to desire. He knows that, so he does his best to make me feel like a dirty, needy thing.

"Come to think of it, I should take advantage of our position and fuck your mouth." By its own volition, my mouth opens for his foray. He straddles my chest, running the just the tip of his cock against the seam of my lips, wetting them with the pre-cum leaking from his engorged flesh. Unable to restrain myself, I suck the head into my salivating mouth. It's swollen, throbbing, all ready to sweeten my mouth with his delicious cum. He threads his fingers into my hair, giving a hard tug. Startled, I let him pull out of my mouth.

"Such a tart. I will have to teach you some manners." Giving me no notice or time to adjust, he plunges into my mouth, nudging my tonsils. I gag a little – though I'm no novice at deep throating the ferocity of the invasion is a delicious reminder of the precariousness of my situation. Realizing my need for air, he retracts a little, allowing me the time to catch my breath. He is no barbarian, but he isn't a gentle lover either, for as soon as he realizes that I'm okay, he starts to fuck my mouth. His rhythm is fast and hard – I barely have the time to let my tongue wander. The relentless plunging makes me greed for the ultimate prize. I can almost taste the salty proof of his enjoyment.

"Only obedient whores get to taste my cum. On your hands and knees, now." If there is something I love more than sucking his dick, is having it deep inside my ass. So, I don't complain, but rather eagerly comply to his command. He is behind me, alternating between biting my butt-cheeks and licking the indentions his teeth left. One of his hands is probing my hole, coating my walls in lube, for the incoming penetration. The other hand is pinching my balls, taking me to an unprecedented ecstasy.

"Please, I'll do anything. Anything. Just fuck me. Now. Please." I'm sobbing, crying, beyond caring about anything but the glorious feeling of being taken by him. His only response is a slap to my ass that makes me tremble in need. At the feeling of the tip of his cock probing my opening, I push my hips toward him, trying to speed the process. A slap to my balls has me panting in something between pain and desire. It's too much. My arms give away and my head falls down. His powerful hands still my hips, keeping them in position for his fingers' assault. He takes his time preparing me while I fight the need to come, because I crave the bliss brought by my walls clenching around his cock. That's why I fist my hands and grit my teeth, holding on to the tiny shred of sanity that desire didn't erase.

I'm almost at my breaking point when his fingers retreat. I'm left empty but not for long, soon his head his passing through the tight rim of muscles guarding the entrance to my body. His chest touches my back, his lips shower my nape with delicate kisses, his hand keeps my head down while his other hand bruises my hip with the power of his grip. His strokes are long and slow, a counterpoint to the roughness of his foreplay. It's just another one of his torture methods, especially designed to obliterate my defences, annihilating my shyness, allowing the wanton creature within me to come to the surface and have fun.

Only when my mind is completely shut down and I'm babbling incoherently, he starts to fuck me the way my body demands. No longer tender, he fucks hard, fast, relentlessly. When he is balls deep, he does a circular movement with his hips, creating a delicious friction between the tip of his cock and my prostrate. The second time he does that, it becomes too much and I can't hold my orgasm anymore. I'm so ready to cum that not even a single touch to my dick is required. My walls pulsate around his cock, tightening and loosening, bringing his pleasure to a crescendo until the summit of sensation. The sensation of cum dripping from my hole into my thighs is deliciously sinful and I relish the knowledge that he enjoyed our little adventure as much as I did.

He flips me on my back, instantly pressing a languorous kiss to my smiling lips. Gently, he pushes my hair from my forehead and lovingly traces the line of my eyebrows, nose, jaw. His eyes are soft, filled with affection, regarding me with something akin to love. As much as I crave his sensual domination, it's the moments of quiet intimacy that really makes my heart soar. We twine our fingers, silently regarding the perfection of our union.

But no heaven is supposed to last forever. Little by little, reality intrudes and we are reminded that we are at a party and at any given moment someone could walk in on us. Actually, that was the fuel that stoked our fire which culminated in our little adventure. We didn't even lock the door, both of us hoping to have a little audience – we are kinky that way. But no interruptions came, so we bask in the glory of our lovemaking for a little longer.

"Edward, baby. Come, we should get dressed. Let's get down and enjoy the rest of the party. I want to dance with the most gorgeous man I've ever seen."

"And who would that be?" Shame on me for fishing for compliments.

"You, baby. You are my one and only. I love you Edward."

"I love you too, Garrett."

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I notice someone standing at the door. I can't see his face, but I feel unsettled by his presence. It's a prickling on the back of my neck, an awareness that I can't quite name. I've felt it a couple of times before, always after a hook up. Did it mean that someone was watching me those other times too? Did it mean that this faceless man was the one watching me then? Did...

"Yeah, dude, we are hot, but the show is over. So, close the door and give us the privacy to get dressed."

At Garrett's dismissal the man hesitates for a second, but eventually bangs the door, leaving me and my boyfriend alone. For some unfathomable reason, I feel a stab of pain but quickly suppress it, for Garrett is the only man I need.

It had taken a lot of courage, going back home. Given the circumstances of my departure, the news of my coming back didn't arouse a lot of joy amongst my family. Their reception was mild at best, mom did try to make me feel welcomed, however my father made no effort to conceal how disturbed he was by my reappearance. I could understand their reticence, but I couldn't help but feel wary of their reaction at the news I had gone there to impart.

Like the coward creature that I am, I tried to postpone it for as long as I could. For a few days, I allowed myself to be swept away in the fantasy of an almost relationship with my dear family. They still believed my previous allegation that it had all been a lapse in judgement, an episode that had never and would never be repeated. My parents were so desperate to believe that their only child wasn't an aberration of nature that they had been purposely blind to the universal truth that a tiger can't change its stripes.

A week into my visit, I could no longer stand the farce of pretending to be a "changed man". Had I had any lingering doubts about the rightness of my decision to accept myself, the week spent with my parents would have erased it. No one could find happiness in pretending to be someone else's ideal of perfection. The dreaded time to "come out of the closet" had arrived and I couldn't deny how relieved I was to stop denying myself the joy of being who I am.

Though I was certain of my decision, deep within my soul I knew that I would lose both of my parents once the truth had come to light. So, for the first time in my life, I went fishing with my dad. We didn't talk much, but we surely drank a lot. A few fishes later, we were behaving almost like the stereotypical manly man who bonded over a few beers and dirty jokes. Except that, somehow, both of us knew that we were saying our goodbyes. There was a certain strain in our laugh, a measure of pretence in our words. We were trying to make it memorable, to put that day on a different realm where it would be kept untainted by the sour words that soon would be exchanged.

I didn't want my sweet, emotional mother to be forced to choose between my father and me. So, I gave her my cell phone number, my e-mail, added her to my facebook account – means to keep in touch, even if we couldn't be in each other's presence. Wise woman that she is, my mother asked me to wait just another day. She wanted to cook my favourite meal, bake my favourite cookies – fuss over the son that she most likely wouldn't see for as long as her husband should live, for they had a very traditional marriage where the man dictates and the woman simply obeys.

I didn't prepare a speech, nor did I try to think ahead – I decided to speak from my heart and hope for the best while making contingency plans for the worst. Therefore, my luggage was already packed and loaded in my car – I was ready to leave immediately after our conversation.

They sat side by side, hands entwined. My mother wore a pleading look, silently begging me to abort my plans. My father's expression was unreadable, but his eyes were hard, although there was a hint of sadness in them. Looking at them I felt selfish for choosing my wellbeing over theirs, but I knew that, despite the guilt gnawing my insides, I could no longer play at "normalcy". Taking a deep breath, I braced myself for an unpleasant conversation. Fortunately, my voice came out strong and steady, showing none of my inner turmoil.

"Mom and Dad, I want you to know how much I love you, how much I appreciate all the sacrifices you've made for me. You are my only family and you are the most important people in my life. You've always been there for me and I want to always be there for you, if you let me."

"What's this nonsense boy?" My father's reproachful words carried an underline of desperation, like a condemned man pleading for mercy.

"Dad, please, let me finish. Otherwise, I won't be able to say everything I need to say."

At his begrudged acquiesce, I proceeded with my confession.

"I have always been a dutiful son. I had good grades, I stayed out of trouble and I never complained about our lack of material possessions. I earned a scholarship to college and never asked you guys for anything. I've always strived to be the son you guys wanted and up until the episode that precipitated my leaving, I think I succeeded."

"Son, please, let's not talk about it. There is no need..."

Oh, my sweet mother, always trying to avoid confrontation. However, my father didn't let her finish.

"Let him speak."

Gone was the sadness, his eyes were burning with barely suppressed contempt. He simply wanted me to get to the point, so that he could unleash his temper.

"I was always the quiet kid – the shy, lanky boy that simply didn't date. In truth, it wasn't about feeling awkward around girls, it was about not being attracted to them. My sexual awakening came later than usual and it wasn't brought by a girl. As you well know, my first sexual experience was with a man. Please believe me when I say that I'm sorry for all the shame that videotape has brought to you guys. I had no idea that it was merely a prank. I would never, ever hurt you on purpose."

"There is no need to talk about this filth in your mother's presence. It's all water under the bridge now. We have forgiven you and you have promised us that you would never again engage in those unnatural acts."

Like a sadist, he refused to make it easier for me, going as far as unearthing a promise made out of despair by a boy desperate for his father's approval. My father wanted to hear me state what he considered to be an unforgivable sin. Then, he would be able to indulge in his self-righteous anger. But I pushed through because I needed to come clean, no matter how high the price for honesty might be.

"I tried to behave like you expected me to. I tried to be interested in girls, but I simply am not. Mom, dad... I'm still a good person, I'm still your son... but I'm gay and I no longer can deny it."

Tears were blurring my vision and I tried to reach for my mother because at that moment I needed to feel the comfort of her embrace. I have no doubt in my mind that my mother would have enfolded me in her arms, offering me the gift of acceptance. But it wasn't meant to be, for my father chose that moment to step between us.

"You fucking faggot. Get the fuck out of my house before I break your pretty face."

It was nothing more than I predicted but still his hateful words burned me like molten lave would, but I was determined to not let it show. Plastering a wobbly smile on my trembling lips, I told them that I loved them and said goodbye.

My father simply stood there, sputtering with anger, unable to pronounce the expletives that were surely going through his mind. However, my mother proved herself to be braver than I ever gave her credit for. She hugged me and kissed my cheek, telling me to drive safely and e-mail her when I arrived.

That day I closed a painful chapter of my life. I made a choice and paid a high price for it. Despite everything I lost, I was glad to finally have voiced the truth of my heart. Maybe, somewhere down the line, my father will come to terms with my homosexuality. If his acceptance ever comes, he won't have to beg for my forgiveness, he won't have to apologize – my love for him is unconditional, I will take him anyway, anytime.

Thankfully, I didn't have the time to wallow in self-pity, for I needed to find a job. As generous as my scholarship was, it still didn't allowed me many luxuries and, as any other college guy, I needed money to spend in frivolous pursuits, such as going to bars and drinking beer. I answered many ads, but without any previous work experience, it became almost impossible to find any position.

I was almost giving up and accepting the fate of becoming a hermit out of my financial constraints when destiny intervened. My last interview of the day was at a small, charming bookstore. Getting there, I was greeted by the manager an extremely tall, frighteningly thin men who went by the name Alistair. I have to say I was a little freaked out by the guy. His eyes kept darting sideways like someone who is expecting to be attacked by some unseen menace. Half way through the interview I noticed that he was completely bald underneath the dreadful wig he was wearing and that his hands were gnarled, his nails long.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know that my reaction was ridiculous but I simply couldn't help it. The guy looked exactly like the weird dude from "Shadow of the Vampire". It wasn't manly, but I felt a shiver going down my spine and a bead of sweat trickling down my forehead. And when he looked directly at me for the first time, I was startled by their odd shade of green. I'm ashamed to confess that when I heard a door closing, I almost jumped out of my skin. For a second I felt trapped, like it often happens in horror movies with unsuspecting victims. Then, a raspy voice followed... I almost let a girly scream out, but some higher power spared me from the shame.

"Dude, cut it out. I told you to stop messing with people, we will never find someone if you keep freaking them out."

A sheepish grin twisting his gaunt face, Alistair seemed almost apologetic. However, I was out of charity and pretty pissed for being so easily scared. Like the rational person that I am, I turned my wrath onto a totally innocent target, the newcomer. Turning towards him, I was unprepared to the sight of him standing there all male beauty and rugged body. Taller than me, bronzed skin, a scruffy chin, dark eyes and hair, he had broad shoulder and lips that would look amazing wrapped around my cock. My body's reaction was instantaneous and painfully obvious, because, let's face it, I'm a fortunate man.

Blushing wildly, I averted my eyes, trying to regain some semblance of control over my body. Who gets hard just seeing an attractive male? It was the Jasper debacle all over again. Damn it, I really didn't want to get down that road. Deciding that any escape attempt would be pathetic at that point, I took a deep breath and faced the man. I hoped that he was oblivious to my... state, but no such luck. There was laughter in his eyes and his beautiful, kissable lips were smirking knowingly. Fuck, why did I have to be so freaking obvious?

Sensing my discomfort, the gorgeous man decided to offer me an olive branch – for that I will forever be thankful.

"Hey, I'm Garrett. And you are?"

Instead of simply shacking his extended hand, I stood there gawking at him, like a horny moron – not my most brilliant moment, I'm afraid.

"Hum, ahh... Edward, that is. Yes, I'm Edward, hi."

What a freaking idiot. The guy was going to think I was mentally challenged. But he proved himself to be a true gentleman by choosing to ignore my many faux pas.

"Don't mind Alistair, he is an idiot and a scenic art major – not that one is conducive to the other, mind you. It's just that his he has this weird idea that he has to stay in character all of the time. That's why I don't let him deal with the public and why I usually don't let him interview the applicants. But today I had an emergency and I had to put him in charge. I'm sorry for that. Maybe we could start over?"

From then on, the conversation flowed easily. Garrett had no compunction in sharing details of his life. From that first conversation I learned that he was an only child, eight years my elder and that he had just inherited the store from a distant uncle. To my astonishment, I found myself opening up to Garrett, telling him the mortifying secrets that I had never voiced in anyone's company. When night fell, he closed the store and we went to a coffee shop down the line. We sat for hours talking about everything and nothing. For the first time in my life, I felt free to be me and right then I fell a little bit in love with the amazing man who had so effortlessly knocked down my defences.

I got the job and a ride home. That night, while I lay awake on my lonely bed, my hands found the path to my engorged flesh. I pleasured myself to thoughts of having Garrett as a lover. I knew how impossible it was, for he had made perfectly clear that he had a girlfriend.

"Hey, dipshit, wait up." Oh, Rosalie, always the queen of polite speech.

"I said wait up, damn it."

"Rose? I didn't hear you. How are you these days?"

I know I'm being an asshole, but I can't help myself. Since my return, I had been systematically avoiding anyone that was remotely related to Jasper. I didn't want to face him or anyone who might know about our encounter. I still hadn't made my peace with the way he treated me, besides I felt that Rosalie was to blame for a large portion of the incident. Had she never approached me with that ridiculous speech of jasper-is-not-as-bad-as-he-seems I would never have allowed myself to be ensnared on his web of seduction.

"Humpf. Why have you been hiding? Cowardice doesn't become you."

"Cowardice doesn't become you? What the fuck Rose? Have you been reading? Why? Don't do that to yourself, you know that your brain can't survive the strain."

"You are a douchebag. I was trying to make you a favour, nimrod. So, Jasper fucked you – big fucking deal. He fucks anything with a hole, you are not the first and will not be the last. Just get over yourself. Nobody gives a shit."

I trace an uncanny parallel between the past and the present: on both occasions I have been exposed to public scrutiny by my would be lovers. Why do I attract this kind of guy? I don't dwell on the thought for long, because I'm beyond angry. Nobody has the right to intrude on my personal life.

"Listen blondie, I'm damn tired of you and your family bugging me. What happened or didn't happen is no problem of yours or anyone else's. I chose to distance myself from your crew because you are all promiscuous dipshits who don't know the value or the significance of the word faithfulness. You all think that you can fuck your way through life, but guess what? You nimrods don't realise that there is more to relationships than fucking. That's why I don't want to mingle with you. And if you have half a brain, you will recognize my little rant for a wakeup call – start paying better attention to your girlfriend, otherwise, you might lose her."

She just stood there, her gapping mouth turning her face into a perfect representation of a fish. I was ready to take off while I still had the upper hand, but the little harpy wouldn't allow my retreat. Groaning angrily, she took no prisoners.

"Get out of you high horse, Mr. Know-it-all. Who the fuck are you to judge me or my friends? We are young, we need to experiment, we need to learn. We are not at the point in our lives where we are ready to settle down. First, we have to spread our wings. Do you think that everything you need can be found on a book? Guess what, your books didn't help you deal with your sexuality."

"So what? I should be a slut like Jasper? Or just an asshole like you?"

"No, dispshit, what I'm saying is that you should stay true to your own desires. Don't you see? You are still holding on to the stereotypical image of the good guy. If you are truly that guy, fine, find yourself a boring boyfriend and live a staid life. But if you are not, stop being such a ninny. Just own up to it and do as you please."

Irked by the wisdom of her words, I tried to find a way to lash out. Coming up empty, I desperately sought for a way to wound her, to make her feel as unsettled as I was feeling. However, my mind was a blank abysm of despair, void of cutting remarks or witty come backs. I was a sitting duck, an easy target for Rosalie's attack. When it came, it wasn't in the form I was anticipating, it was much worse. Gone was the anger, in its place there was compassion and some amount of pity.

"Look, I know that you think you were screwed over, but the thing is, you needed the experience. If I hadn't pushed you into it, you would have never taken the first step. Edward, you only came to terms with your homosexuality because you surrendered to desire. I know it was painful, but growing up usually is. And just to be clear, I really thought that you and Jasper might be a good match, that... I don't know, maybe you could tame him or something. But, once again I was wrong. So, forgive me for misleading you, but don't hate me, I was really trying to help."

I wanted to stay mad, I really did. But damn Rosalie and her puppy eyes, they made it impossible to hold on to my anger. Besides, though she had gone about it on a really horrible way, she actually helped me. I truly needed the reality call that my one night stand with Jasper was. Though I wasn't angry anymore, I still was far from being ready to face Jasper or Peter. I still felt misused and until I regained my self-esteem I knew that I couldn't survive an encounter with either of them. Unfortunately, it also meant that I had to avoid their usual haunts and their usual crew.

"Rose, one day things will get back to normal, but not right now, okay? Just save a special place for me, one day I will occupy it again."

An unexpected hug closed our meeting. Rosalie had given me a lot to think about, maybe I truly should re-think the way I wanted to live my life.

I was nervous and fidgety – the perfect picture of a nerd trying to crash the "cool kids" party. Except that I was no longer a child, I was a man trying to fit in a gay bar. Once again, Rosalie had steered my path towards the unknown, even though I had promised myself that I would never again listen to her. However, her random speech had awakened a part of me that yearned to be a little bit reckless, to feel alive.

Little by little the idea of embracing a more carefree lifestyle started to grow on me. It wasn't an abrupt transformation but rather a gradual change of habit. I smiled more and sometimes even allowed my eye to linger on an attractive man for longer than it was polite. After a little while, I was astonished to realise that my clumsy attempts at flirtation were being reciprocated. It was exhilarating and a little bit frightening, because it meant I no longer had any plausible excuse to hide myself from the world.

Most likely, I wouldn't have had the guts to take a step as drastic as going to a "hook-up place" had it not been for the building sexual tension between me and my hot-as-fuck boss. Every passing day we grew closer, our shared interest in books and classical music allowed for long conversations shared over coffee, more often than not, after working hours. There wasn't a lull in our exchange – it was simply a never ending flux of synchronicity. I wanted Garrett in me, beneath me, with me, but he was out of my reach.

So, I settled for the next best thing – any man who came my way. Despite my resolution to put myself out there, I was still working up the courage to actively seek for a companion when a beautiful blue eyed, blond haired guy sat on the stool right next to me. One look at the man who resembled so much someone who I didn't really want to remember and my cock was standing at attention.

He talked on and on about things as silly as the hottest hang-out places. At some point I shut out my ears and sharpened my vision, because he was one hot piece of ass – if I had to suffer the never ending chit-chat, I might as well get some eye-candy compensation.

Yeap, I ogled the dude to my cock's almost content, but still couldn't bring myself to make a move. Maybe he was just lonely... Maybe he was waiting for someone else... The hot iron of rejection had burned into my mind the fear of being slighted. However, my apprehensions were put to rest because his hand crept up my inner thigh, brushing my stiff cock.

"Honeybeans, I would totally take you home with me but me and my roommate have a sort of curfew system – today he gets to fuck his date in our condo. Do you have a place we can go?"

I felt like someone had kicked me on my chest. Damn, I hadn't considered the logistics of a hook-up. Somehow, I didn't think that my roommate, as understanding as he was, would appreciate being kicked out of the room on a Thursday night. I couldn't believe that I was about to decline a much needed fucking because I didn't have a place. Dismayed, I tried to calculate if I had enough cash for a Motel, when his chuckle brought me out of my reverie.

"I'm guessing you are a college boy. No matter, sweetcheeks. There is an alley behind this place – I haven't gone in there for ages, but for you... Yes, you are worth the effort."

I have got to say that his words were a wonderful ego boost. Feeling confident, I entwined my hands through his hair and kissed his pouty lips. They tasted of cherry and sat from the margueritas he had been consuming. It wasn't earth shattering or magnificent, but it was pleasant enough – arousing even.

"Hey, cowboy, I'm not about to give a free show for these peeps. Come with me."

Taking my hand, he pulled me off the stool, through a long row that bypassed the bathrooms and ended on a darkened alley. I didn't even have to catch my bearings when I was pushed against the wall and assaulted by my eager partner. I tried not to think about the filthy wall, but as soon as his hips pressed against mine, I lost all train of thought. His cock was large and very hard rubbing against mine. A stab of shame pierced my mind at that moment – a lifetime of being taught that homosexuality is wrong isn't easily erased. Besides, my two previous sexual experiences had done nothing, but reinforce the notion that gay sex was disgraceful, therefore to be harshly punished.

Showing a depth of character that I would never have suspected, he slowed the kiss and whispered in my ear the reassurance I needed to proceed.

"Don't think too much, honeybunney. There is just you and me – we are not hurting anyone, just having a little fun. Relax and let yourself feel. There is no right, there is no wrong – just the rightness of being true to yourself."

Brought back to the moment, I was elated to realise that his chest was bare. Though the poor lighting of the alley didn't allow me to admire the full extent of his physic, I saw enough to make me uncomfortable inside my jeans. Enthralled, I suckled his nipple while working on getting him out of his pants. When his cock was free I pumped it with gusto, panting at its girth. Would it fit in me?

Just then, I was hit with an unsettling thought: what if he wanted me to top? Would I go for it? Was I ready to be the one doing the fucking? Yes, I wanted to be the one pounding into a tight ass... but just not yet. I wasn't allowed to dwell on that thought for long, because blondie was frenetically undressing me.

The feeling of his calloused hands ribbing my nipples sent shivers down my spine. Not for the first time that night, I wondered if I should have paid better attention to the man who was so skilfully taking care of my needs. I was distracted by his hand pressing against the back of my knee, gently guiding my leg up and around his hips.

Properly wrapped and lubed, his cock nudged my ass cheeks apart. I must have been really nervous, because there are a lot of gaps on my memory of that night. The next thing I remember is being roughly fucked while blondie worked my cock with his hand. The moment of delicious oblivion came and went too fast to recall, too short to satisfy. From the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow moving in the darkness, but when I tried to focus my vision whomever or whatever it was, had already departed. In its awake, I was left feeling unsettled, for there was a tingling of a knowledge trying to make itself known to my conscious mind.

Only later, I realised that I didn't even know blondie's name. From shy nerd to hooking up with an unnamed dude – I had really become a college guy.

My little adventure had no further repercussions on my day-to-day life than leaving me with the desire to repeat the experience. Having tasted the sinful fruit of surrendering to lust, I was eager for another plunge into the forbidden world of hook-ups. However, between working and studying I didn't have the time, or the energy, to seek for some willing partner. Besides, my "dates" with Garrett stocked up my spank bank with more than enough material.

I'm ashamed to confess that I took care of myself during my shift more than one time. Whenever Garrett came around with his ready smiles and easy manner, my mind turned to the gutter. I was assaulted by visions of him, smiling a private smile, standing before me in all his naked glory. Sometimes, he was teasing me by slowly stroking his cock, other times he bending me over his office desk...

Unbeknown to me, there was another person aware of my growing attraction to Garrett. Alistair came to me, right after I had relieved myself from my... problem. Weird as only he managed to be, Alistair started to circle me, like a dog does to a wayward sheep. I merely lifted a brow at his weird antics – having worked with Alistair for over four months had left me with a high tolerance for the unusual. His circles grew smaller, until he was standing right in front of me, less than a palm between our bodies.

Unwillingly to show discomfort at his proximity, I tilted my head back and glared at the inquisitive eyes staring back at me. We were locked on that bizarre contest for what felt like a million years. Whatever he was trying to do, I wouldn't bulge – Alistair was like a wild beast, one must never show fear or it will pounce.

"Are you a follower of Onan?"

From all the unholy things to ask, did he have to choose that one? Damn, a dude is entitled to a little privacy, right? Feeling cornered I decided to play dumb.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Onan was feature on the Book of Genesis, Chapter 38. He disregarded the principle of a Levirate union by withdrawing his penis from his brother's widow body, spilling his seed on the ground. For being wicked, Onan had his life taken by God."

Talk about creepy useless knowledge...

"Dude, where do you learn this shit?" I probably shouldn't, but I just couldn't help myself.

"Wikipedia. Now, are you?"

"Were you researching the theme?"

"No, just came across it when I was reading to the On section of the A-Z index. Will you answer my question?"

"You mean you've read the entire content of wikipedia? Alphabetically? Just for fun"

"It's not that big deal. Stop stalling."

Really, I wasn't stalling. Who reads Wikipedia as a hobby? I simply couldn't get past the realisation that Alistair was even weirder than I thought him to be. But when he cleared his throat, I was no longer dumbfound by his revelation, I was downright angry at his meddlesomeness. What I did on the privacy of the employees bathroom was no business of his.

"No, Alistair, I don't think I'm Onan's follower. As you well know, I'm gay, therefore my dick has never been in the vicinity of a woman's vagina, thus making it impossible for me to withdraw from it and spill my seed on the ground."

One thing I learned is that, whenever dealing with Alistair, one must never abide by the laws of sanity and normal conversation.

Clucking his tongue, Alistair fixed a disapproving stare at me. Hum, apparently the Onan debacle wasn't over yet...

"Since you seem to lack the mental mechanism which allows for subtlety, let me clarify my question. The term onanism has also been applied as a synonym of masturbation – so, what I am asking you is if you just spanked your monkey while fantasizing about our boss."

Holly fucking shit, not only it was the most impertinent question ever asked on God's green Earth, but it also was the most ill timed one on all of humankind's history, for Garrett was standing right behind Alistair.

To his credit, Garrett managed to keep a straight face, although there was a suspicious glint in his eyes.

"Alistair stop prying into Edward's life. If you scare him away, you will be forced to work double shifts, think about that."

Alistair mumbled something about labour laws and left without further ado. I didn't know where to look or what to do with my hands, because, let's face it, the situation I was facing was every gay guy's nightmare. It was a testament to his superb manners, the way Garrett smiled easily and quickly gave me an assignment that would keep me from seeing him for the rest of the day. I was relieved by his dismissal, but also oddly disappointed.

"My gay cousin is in town."

I should have known that my reprieve from Alistair wouldn't last forever. The weeks following the Onan incident had been blissfully free from the worst of his erratic behaviour. But, apparently, I ran out of luck, which left me with the dilemma of how I should answer to his out of the blue statement. It didn't take a genius to realise that Alistair was trying to set me up with his cousin, Lord help me, but no matter the price I had to pay or the amount of weirdness I had to endure, I wouldn't let myself be snared on Alistair's matchmaking scheme.

"Hum. So?"

Playing dumb is sort of coward, but it also bought me some time to figure out what would be the best way to get out of Alistair's clutches.

"You two should hook up. He is hot."

"Does he look like you?"

"Yes, except that he is shorter. And blonder. Also, his eyes are green. He is stockier than me. Nah, I'm no good with descriptions. Here, let me show you his pictures on facebook."

Overcome by perverse curiosity, I looked over Alistair's shoulder to the screen that showed a surprisingly good looking young man with a pretty smile and intelligent eyes. Against my better judgement, I was in deed interested on Alistair's cousin. I blamed it on my neglected dick who happened to be desperate for action.

"He will be picking you up today at five. Enjoy, because dude you need to get laid."

"What the fuck Alistair? I didn't say yes. Besides, what the fuck do you know about my sexual habits?"

"You take at least six trips to the bathroom every day. Given the amount of fluids you consume, I'm guessing that at least 2 out of those six times have nothing to do with peeing."

"Hey, smart ass, maybe one of those 2 times I'm taking a crap."

"Probable but not likely. Most of the times one evacuates it's preceded by the emptying of one's bladder. However, I'll cut you some slack and decrease my estimate to one out of six. In any case, it is still an alarming rate, especially if..."

"If you shut up, I will go out with your cousin."

Smiling broadly, Alistair made that stupid "zipping the lips" movement. For the remainder of the day, I was offered a glimpse of heaven. Alistair was blissfully quiet, going as far as refraining from spending the afternoon humming the Imperial March. The store was so quiet that I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard someone at the front door.

I have to confess that Alistair's cousin was truly a work of art, With the sun shining on his blond locks, he seemed to be an ethereal creature made to fit my most sinful fantasies. When he opened his mouth, I was surprise by his wry sense of humour and the absence of illogical speech. Apparently, weirdness doesn't rum in the family – thankfully.

"So, how did Alistair get you roped into taking his gay cousin out?"

"He wouldn't stop talking."

"Yes, he used the same tactic on me."

We shared a good laugh and talked for a while. Mark was truly a nice guy, I didn't know how he could possibly be related to the King of all things bizarre. We were already at the door when I noticed Garrett watching us. There was a muscle ticking at his jaw and his eyes were burning with something akin to jealousy. Could it be...? But I didn't let myself go there, I had learned my lesson. There was no point in letting my imagination run free, for he surely wasn't interested in me. Better to stick to reality.

That night we shared a pleasant dinner and later went to a bar. Mark was sweet and upbeat, instigating drinking contests and luring me to the dance floor. Soon, the movements of our bodies turned into something more than a dance. He fed my already overflowing lust, getting me so horny that I had no qualms about letting him fuck me in his car, on a very public venue. He worked my body so hard that it took me a long time before getting the energy to redress myself. Throughout all of our romping, I was assailed by the same sense of recognition, the same issue trying to make itself known. But I didn't care because my body was sated and my heart was light.

As luck would have it, Mark decided to stay for another night. I was overjoyed by the prospect of another steamy encounter with him, so I spent the day humming to myself and smiling easily. Alistair was full of himself, crediting matchmaking as one of his self proclaimed skills. But not even that was enough to erase the glow of being thoroughly fucked.

The only dark spot on my bright day was Garrett's unusual mood. He was short tempered and brooding, a stark contrast to his usual sunny self. Sometimes, I caught him glaring at me; other times, he was sending murderous look to Alistair who seemed completely unfazed by his boss' hostility – actually, he seemed downright amused by it. I tried to push Garrett's sour disposition to the back of my mind, but the task was impossible when he asked me to come into his office.

As soon as he closed the door, Garrett pinned me with a murderous look. Taken aback, I didn't know what to do, because I simply couldn't comprehend what could be the source of so much displeasure.

"I thought you were different."

"What do you mean?"

Tugging at his hair, Garrett started to pace. He was muttering under his breath, seemingly trying to find the right words to express whatever it was that he was trying to say. Suddenly, he stopped right in front of me. Holding my gaze, he reached out for my hand.

"Don't go with Garrett's cousin."

Dumbfounded, I gaped like a fish, frantically willing my mind to grasp the significance behind Garrett's statement.

"I have never been interested on a guy before. I never even entertained the possibility. Shit, I still enjoy big tits and a tight cunt, but I can't stop thinking about you.

"You are so smart, so beautiful, so fun to be around. I thought we were friends who had a lot in common. I thought I only wanted to know your mind. Little by little, you started to intrude on my fantasies. At first, you and I shared a girl, but as time passed the woman's image faded – there was just you and me.

"I tried to write it off to my pervy mind playing tricks on me. And I will have keep on living in denial, but the sight of you going on a date with another guy filled me with rage. Damn it, it was supposed to be me taking you out, kissing your mouth, pounding your ass. I want you all to myself, even though I know nothing about being gay.

"Shit, what I'm trying to say is: give me a chance."

The object of my fantasies was standing before me, saying all the right words, pleading for a chance to be with me. Could life get sweeter? However, I had been burned before – I had no interest in once again becoming the plus one on an already existing relationship. I wanted someone just for myself – no sharing, no screwing around.

"What about your girlfriend?"

"Kate? I broke up with her last night. I couldn't date her while thinking about another person, it would be dishonest to her and potentially hurtful too, if she ever found out the truth. No matter what, I'm not going to be with a person in whom I'm not completely invested."

Perfect answer.

Weary of talking I took a step closer to Garrett. Tentatively, I brushed my lips against his, giving him time to adjust to the idea of kissing another guy. It turns out that he was more than ready. He cupped the back of my head and swiftly invaded my mouth, eagerly searching for my tongue. His other hand pressed my back, pressing our chests together. It was exhilarating, the feeling of his aroused nipples rubbing against mine. When we broke apart I sighed in contentment, for I knew it was the start of my first relationship.