Looks like I got lazy again. Do not fear, for I am still alive and I will continue to try and update more often. Now that the important stuff is out of the way, I recently filled a whole box in my Pokémon X and Y with level 100's MLG Pokemons! I also got Velkoz… I use him more than Ezreal… Forgive me my friend… He's still my favorite, just not as op as Velkoz currently is.
Not that you care, you just want to know why there hasn't been an update…
Greedy bastards /3 jk. Anyways here's the chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own League of Legends! If I did, Ezreal, Warwick and Tryndamere would be overpowered as fuck, due to favoritism on my part.
Last time in Piltlover Days…
"HOW DID YOU GET A LAMPOST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?!"
And back to current times…
Noxian Prison. Contrary to popular belief, is a horrible place to be confined in, mostly because of how it's very hard to get sent to prison in a lawless country. Even if you were to kill the leader of the nation, it wouldn't matter, because it would just mean he was too weak to rule. So the jails are barely used and they don't have anyone actually watching the place. Which means that the few prisoners that somehow make it into there, are allowed to do whatever they want, with no one else watching, no one else around, in an underground place with only prison bars and a lot of stone surrounding you. Only difference is that there's no way out. Good luck trying to get out.
"Inmate Number 1 has 1 Magic Glove, 1 Pair of Goggles, 1 mana flask and a magical bag filled with Beef Jerky, Water Bottles, a pack of cards, 600 million gold in cash, various magical items, a small supply of tools and … various pictures of female champions wearing little clothing…" LeBlanc read. "Including some of me…"
Swain was looking out the window as the dark enchantress read off the prisoners list. Interested as to why a Piltlover Explorer was seen crossing Noxian borders illegally as Demacia's Might chased after him with full intent to kill.
"Interesting… and what does Inmate Number 2 have?" Swain asked.
"1 Giant Sword, 5,000 gold and a variety of Lamp posts were found around him when we were finally able to detain him." LeBlanc read off.
Many people died getting in the way of Garen's bloodlusted rampage. Even Darius wasn't able to even slow him down. At the end, only the sheer stupidities of both lead them to run into the Noxian poison testing labs. Luckily for them, it was just a paralysis poison.
LeBlanc shivered at the sight of The Might of Demacia's bloodlusted rampage.
What did that Piltlover boy do to cause such a thing?
Meanwhile in Prison
"…Garen?" Ezreal said behind bars.
"What?" Garen seethed.
"We're in prison." The Piltlover boy said.
"Yes, I can see that." The Crownguard said with a roll of his eyes.
"I don't know if we're going to be allowed showers, but don't drop the soap." The Golden haired boy said.
"Why did they have to confiscate our belongings? I'm pretty sure I could somehow fit my sword through these bars and into your throat." Garen asked himself.
"Well, this isn't too bad at least; we'll only be here for about 2 weeks at worse due to our League reputation. We're also not getting tortured in any kind of-"Ezreal began.
"Why what do we have here?" A dangerous and feminine voice can be heard.
"Oh, dear Leona. Please don't let that be her." Garen said with his palm on his face.
"Why hello little Demacian boy~!" The voice said as it came towards Garen's prison cell.
Ezreal can only squint in the dark to see a flash of crimson and leather.
Now it didn't take a genius to know that there's only 1 female red head clad in sexy leather that can annoy The Might of Demacia.
Katarina smirked as she examined Garen in his cell.
"Hello there, Katarina Du Couteau. What brings you to Noxian prisons?" The Demacian said poker faced.
"Why, I came here to visit you~!" She said cheerfully with hints of bloodlust. "Why wouldn't I visit someone who I apparently have "suppressed feelings" for?"
"Are you really getting mad for what is written in the newspapers?" Garen said with a roll of his eyes.
"I'm getting mad at the fact that people think that it's even possible for a Demacian Dork to have a chance with me." She said laughing.
"So what brings you here than? Here to kill me?" Garen said boredly.
"Nah, just came here to mess with you." She said with a glint in her eyes.
"Sonnofa Teemo, just kiss already." The teenaged genius said, getting annoyed at this.
The Sinister Blade turned around to see who the voice was and frowned a little.
"Oh yeah, the Piltlover boy is here too." She said as if he was an annoyance.
"There's that boy bs again. I'm 19 for god's sake. That's older than Caitlyn and Lux. Noone calls them girl or little girl!" Ezreal grumbled.
"Well, you're young compared to us." Katarina replied. "And they're more mature than you."
"More mature?" The Prodigy asked. "Because it's okay if Twisted Fate makes 1,000 sex jokes, but when I do it, EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING! He's a kid!" He countered in anger.
"That's really beside the point. What I want to know is what's a Piltlover boy doing with the Might of Demacia on his tail, chasing him all over the world? Not to mention why you carry 600 million gold with you." She asked curiously.
"TF made me do a dare and as for the gold thing. That's just my going out money." He answered.
Katarina blinked.
This boy has 600 million gold in cash as "going out money"? This kid was loaded!
"How the hell do you have so much money?" The previously silent Garen asked.
"Well, when I found the Wriggle's Lantern, the League wanted to use it as an item on the Summoner's Rift. Since I was the one who found it, they rewarded me with a small fraction of the money they get for each time a champion buys it on Summoner's Rift. After a while, it builds up to the point where I have more than 1 billion gold in each bank on Runeterra." The explorer explained.
Both rivals stared at him in shock. Being an Explorer does have it perks doesn't it?
"Of course, I'm not the only one who gets this deal. I think people like Sejuani donated items and get a small fraction deal like I do." He continued. "Though people use the Wriggle's Lantern more often than the other item's you'd usually see."
Forgetting her reason for being there, Katarina was in her own mind, trying to remember if there were any items she can give the League to get in on the deal.
Of course, no one had much time to absorb what Ezreal said, because suddenly, an axe drove itself straight into the stone wall nearby Ezreal's cell.
In came one of Noxus's famous entertainers Draven. The Draven who that made any average execution turn into an exciting game and a sport to watch.
He strode in, grinning madly, not caring of the presence of The Sinister Blade or The Might of Demacia. Walking straight towards Ezreal, he stopped and laughed.
"Heeeeey! EZ!" He said with no negativity. "Draven heard you were in jail for crossing Noxian borders while being chased by that giant Demacian guy!"
Ezreal merely held the bars and had his head against it.
"Dear god, if this is karma for getting Garen in jail and having Katarina come in to attempt to mess with him, please stop… I shall repent…" Ezreal cried.
"Draven told you that I can get you in here any time!" Draven kept going on. "Sure you could get Warwick to help you out, but where's the fun in that? With Draven, you will always get a 100% guarantee entertainment. Unless Draven's bro is with Draven of course, but even he can't deny that you're a valuable person to be an ally with. Draven for one, never really cared. Draven just wants some company that can watch Draven's spectacles and critique it. Then again, you never do that either. Maybe, Draven just likes it when you try to run from me when Draven try to get you to do things for me." Draven said, at this point only talking to himself.
He looked over at Ezreal who was repeatedly ramming into a wall and saying Arcane Shift.
"Yeah… anyways, I'm here to get you out of jail bro! Draven would get the Demacian too, but Swain wants to keep him here for as long as he can. Something about making the most of the situation. If he had the option to fairly kill him, he'd take that chance." Draven finished.
All Ezreal heard was that he'd be out.
"Alright! I'll be out of here while Garen's here for 2 more weeks!" The boy said, for once being glad for being acquaintances with a Noxian.
"Is that allowed though?" Katarina asked.
"What Draven says, Swain will listen as long as it doesn't mess with his plans." Draven stated, still grinning.
"Why does he keep speaking in 3rd person?" Garen asked.
"Because Draven's the best thing you can ever say. So, Draven will try to say it as much as he can in Draven's life." He said as if it made sense.
"Yeah… anyways… LET ME OUT!" The Piltlover boy yelled.
"Alright, alright. Calm down. Draven will get the keys." The executioner said as he broke the prison bars with his axe.
"Doesn't that count as property damage?" The blonde asked.
"Do we even really use this place enough to actually care?" Draven answered.
"Fair enough, Goodbyeeeeeee~!" Ezreal said, waving goodbye at Garen as he glared.
"Well than~! Looks like we have some alone time~!" Katarina mused.
"Fuck my life…" Garen groaned.
At LeBlanc's Office
"1 Magic Glove, 1 Pair of Goggles, 1 mana flask and a magical bag filled with Beef Jerky, Water Bottles, a pack of cards, 600 million gold in cash, various magical items, a small supply of tools and … various pictures of female champions wearing little clothing…" LeBlanc had to read once again. "This reminds me… How did you get pictures of me…?" The Deceiver said, bloodlust leaking in her voice.
"Umm… Teemo got them for me?" The Genius thought quickly.
"Very well… I will have to go search for a yordle very soon…" She said, not letting up the bloodlust.
"Note to self: Send a message to Teemo to plant as many mushrooms around his home and stay invisible for as long as possible." Ezreal thought to himself.
"Alright! Now that that's done, let's go and play tag!" Draven said laughing maniacally.
Ezreal sighed.
It'd be just like playing tag with Caitlyn. Except Caitlyn was someone of the female variety and wasn't a legitly fulltime and known psychopath. At least with Caitlyn, he had a chance to turn the tide and reverse things on her in a … much more pleasing way...
Ezreal smiled to himself before he realized that Draven was already counting down.
"I hate Noxians…" Ezreal said before once again, he ran like hell.
Meanwhile in Piltlover
"Hmmm…" The female cop hummed.
"What's up, cupcake?" The nearby pinkette asked as she played a video game.
"Today, 2 people have stolen a game that I thought only I was able to be able to play with Ezreal…" She said.
"Aww, someone's jealous~?" Vi said, returning to her game.
"No… I'm just wondering if he'll even have enough energy to play with me when he gets back." She said as she sipped on her tea.
"…Someone's getting kinky… that's why you leave the fuzzy handcuffs at home, huh?" Vi snorted.
Caitlyn nearly choked on her tea.
AND THAT'S A RAP! WRAP! WHATEVER!
Sorry it took a while to type this out. I had the story already and I was just so lazy.
I had to train my Pokemunz and grind for IP. The struggles guys… The struggles.
Anyways, the next chapter is… going to be here in less than 6 months guaranteed…?
Better than me just abandoning this story.
Anyways, like what a Roman would say.
Bye.
I think they'd say that at some point.
