After the last patient left she bolted the door behind them and lent against it to steady herself, her heart beating like a metronome. She had been worried all day, stressing over her situation so that by the time the door finally closed it was well after 5.30pm and her nerves were shot, through and through. Still she managed to put one foot in front of the other across the small waiting room and knock timidly on the door of the doctor's surgery.
"Come" Lucien called from inside.
As Jean rounded the door he smiled at her "Another work day over" then frowned as he saw how uneasy she looked.
"Jean whatever's the matter?"
"May I sit down?"
"Of course, please do, now…tell me what's troubling you?" he asked face full of concern.
Her face burned with humiliation, how did she even begin? She couldn't find the words. She should walk straight back out and forget this notion and try to get an appointment with another doctor in town. But there were no women doctors other than Alice that lived in Ballarat and she just couldn't see herself talking to a strange man about something so intimate and so frightening.
Jean looked intensely over Dr Blake's shoulder at some spot on the wall and in a barely audible whisper told him "I think I've found a lump".
"Oh I see" he told her his face very solemn "well why don't you just remove your shirt and we can give you a very gentle examination I assure you it won't hurt and don't be embarrassed I am after all a doc…"
"Lucien! Jean hissed "it's not there… it's... well elsewhere"
"Oh…"
"Yes oh" she barked looking furious and embarrassed simultaneously.
Both were silent for a few beats then he just had to ask. "Did you discover this lump on your own or did somebody point it out?"
Jeans faced burned like a furnace "Of course not! I was alone!"
"Alone?" he queried then instantly regrated saying anything. Poor conservative catholic Jean, she was just about dying with embarrassment and shame and he needn't make things worse for her by playing ignorant.
"Forgive my parroting of your words I understand completely just tell me what and where is worrying you and try to be specific"
"Specific?" she said indignantly.
"Please if you can it may help me diagnose without an intrusive examination"
Jean felt her heart freeze in her chest.
Naively she hadn't thought about being examined by him though it naturally made sense, she hadn't though past the part in the scene where she admitted to having a lump.
"Well", she paused gathering her courage "well it's inside… quiet h-high" she hadn't stuttered since she was twelve.
Lucien stared a beat, then "is this lump causing you pain or discomfort?"
She shook her head no.
"Size?"
Silently Jean gestured a very small lump. Lucien noticed her hands tremble ever so slightly.
"Jean before we do anything else I'm going to show you a picture from my medical book" from under the desk the doctor hauled a huge medical edition with a faded green cover and well dogged corners.
He turned the pages till he found the cross section drawing he was looking for then spun the book in her direction.
"What is that supposed to be? Oh!" her blush drains off her face.
"This is a cross section drawing illustrating the positioning of some of the ..."
Jean cut him off sharply "I can read Lucien". Then softly realising he was only trying to lesson her embarrassment she added "thank you".
After a moment's hesitation she gingerly pointed to an area of the diagram labelled cervix and looked at him huge fearful eyes but he merely nodded and explained "it can change from soft to quiet hard depending on the time of the cycle, if you have no pain or discomfort then I'd say it's perfectly fine, nothing to worry about".
Gene swallowed hard then said primly "thank you Doctor". Then added, if there's nothing else I guess I'll start dinner, its chicken with apricot".
She dashed from the room and he smiled to himself pleased she would come to him when something troubled her even though she was extremely embarrassed.
He packed the medical volume away in his desk before pouring himself a large whiskey and sipped, slowly, by the time he'd finished the drink he could smell the chicken dinner Gene had made wafting temptingly up the short hall way.
The end.
