I never thought I'd be in this sort of situation with Killua. One where I was at his complete mercy, alone with him in the slim, winding labyrinth of Trick Tower... Couldn't he at least try to be gentle..? How could he be so cruel?

It was dark except for faint torch light and I was hot. His sweating hands gripped mine, fingers intertwined and unyielding. I winced at the force, but was helpless to stop him... I needed him. And we needed to do this. There was nothing else I could do but grit my teeth and bear the pain.

K-Killua... you're hurting me, damn it...!

But I couldn't tell him that. Speech was forbidden. Even as his fingers crushed mine in their ruthlessly cruel prison, I couldn't so much as whimper. My eyes stung and watered hotly as I tried to keep in my cries as he squeezed even harder. Nnn..! I can't take it anymore..!

"Killua, it hurts..!" I panted, pained. He lifted his eyes to me in the glimmering torch light.

"Be silent Clearian.." He hissed, leering. My lip quivered as his grip became too painful to stand.

"Wh-who's there?!" The man below us swiveled around. I groaned.

"SCREW this plan!" I shouted, dropping all pretenses as Killua groaned.

The plan was a simple one. We were hand in hand, my feet on one wall, and Killua's on the other, scaling the narrow hall. The goal had been to scale up the narrow corridor, and sneak above the unwitting prisoner below us, but that was no longer an option. "Plan B!"

There was no Plan B. At least, not that Killua knew of.

I let go of Killua's hands and dropped down on the baffled prisoner, swiftly kicking him in the head. Plan B was much more simple. The man fell to the ground without a struggle or a cry. Landing crouched, I jumped up and a put my hands on my hips triumphantly. "HAH! That was much easier!"

Killua landed smoothly beside me and scowled. "You idiot! Why couldn't you just follow the plan?! We were supposed to go over the prisoner's head, not through it..!"

"Eeeeh!? You were crushing my damn hands! Hello? I need these!" I wiggled my fingers.

He crossed his arms. "Pff... you're just lucky that you didn't get us caught, or else-"

Suddenly, an electronically filtered voice interrupted us from the ever present darkness. "Kukuku.. That was very skilled of you, blonde boy. But I'm afraid that knocking out my prisoners is not a part of your exam; your goal is stealth, not combat. So I will begin the timer... now."

"EEEEEEH?!" We cried.

I clenched my fists, glaring into the faceless darkness. "No way! He didn't see me though, this isn't fair!"

"Kukuku, fair isn't a part of being a hunter. If you're going to pursue the life of a hunter, you'd better take that to heart. And you'd better find a safe room!"

"Shit!" His words zapped me into motion, and I began running through the torch lined halls of Trick Tower. Killua was quick to follow suit.

"You have five minutes to reach a safe room! And remember... if a prisoner takes your tag, you fail."

"TCH!" This isn't going to plan at all..! "DAMN IT, FLUFFY. Why'd you have to squeeze so hard!?"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! Why are you such a wimp!? Using that much force shouldn't have hurt that badly..!"

"YOU ALMOST CRUSHED MY WRITING HAND!"

"Keep it down, there are still other prisoners around..! They could try and take our tags at any time..!"

"You think I don't know tha-" As we rounded a corner, my mouth and feet stopped in their tracks. Several alert men in brown stood in the orange torch light. They turned as we skidded to a stop. "-Shit! More prisoners..!"

My mind whirled as I tried to decide. If we turn back then-

"Keep running!" Killua shouted, yanking me forward, towards the readied prisoners. They shouted aggressively as they charged towards us; a living wall of muscle and anger. "We'll have to just run through them; try not to get caught, okay..?!"

I wiped away my shock and pulled my arm free as I focused on sprinting. Come on, focus! Just feel your aura... The red mist of energy clung to me as I rushed forward. Now draw it... into your legs... and JUMP!

In two quick bounds, I leaped onto the wall. My feet barely touched the stone as I dashed along it, above the wide eyes of the prisoners reaching for me. But it would be a thousand years before they could even dream of catching someone like me. I grinned triumphantly as I easily landed back on the ground, completely evading them and dashed back into the darkness.

Killua joined me a moment later, looking irritated. I was laughing.

"Cheer up, we can do this!" I urged. But something in the pit of my gut stirred. If we can do this... why do I feel so uneasy..? I tried to put my finger on it, but the intercom drew my attention.

"You have less than two minutes to find a safe room." The exam administrator sounded giddy over the intercom. I scowled. "Once inside the room, I will start the five hour timer before you can resume your exam. And remember, you only have forty more hours to make it out of the tower, or you fail!"

Damn it..! Where is this damn safe room..!? I tried to focus on finding the room, assuming it would be some bright beacon of light and safety. But the darkness at the edges of my vision kept stealing my attention. I slowed my run a fraction. Something... is wrong... As I expanded my senses, I realized this scenario was vaguely similar. Running through the dark with Killua... if I turn around, will there be eyes trying to swallow us..?

I shook my head as I ran. That was a stupid thought; dreams were just dreams. I had to focus on reality.

I listened closely. Trying to discern the source of my unease. And then from the fog I felt it creeping suspicion became a roaring panic. My legs couldn't move fast enough. "Killua, run faster."

"Haaah?! You'll get left behind if I-"

"KILLUA! Run FASTER!"

"... is it beca-"

"GO!"

I shoved him, and then it was on us. I felt the ground skid beneath my sneakers as I turned to confront what had found us. What had hunted us down in the dark. Then I realized what was wrong.

This isn't an average prisoner..! I can feel Nen!

The next moments passed at the speed of molasses as two Nen users readied their Ren. As this stranger and I prepared for battle. Reaching for my journal, I tried to glimpse the assailant that hid in the shadows, but a torch to my left blinded me to the darkness. I squinted, reaching for them with my En, book in hand, but when I saw the glint of their blade it was too late. But to my astonishment it wasn't my arm that the blade sliced at.

And when agony erupted in my arm, it wasn't to break it. Merely disarm it. Crushing my flesh against bone, forcing my grip to slacken, and as my hand released what it was holding I could hardly believe it.

They cut the rope to my journal… they're trying to take it from me.. my precious book...

The world grew cold. And everything dimmed, trembling as if it was crumbling and falling apart around me. As I lost the last fragment of them I had I heard their voice whisper to me.

.. don't forget me, okay..?

This couldn't be happening.

I felt the breath slip from my lungs as the fabric strap grazed my finger tips, as it escaped my grasp before it and the unseen assailant vanished into the darkness. No.. Eyes round in disbelief. Lips parted in shock. My limbs felt useless. I was unable to react, even as Killua dragged me from the darkness and into the bright room. Even as the paneled door slid shut behind us and the lock slid in place. I couldn't move.

The proctor's voice was barely a whisper to me. "Oho... interesting. Your five hour timer starts now, boys..."

Then the pain cut through the fog. And I couldn't stand the agony. It's gone..!

"NOOOO!" I flung myself at the door; I had to get out! I had to get my journal back! But the door had no handles or knobs to open it. And it wasn't breaking under my fists. I was trapped while someone else held my journal! Desperation clawed at my skull as I pounded upon the obstacle between my book and I. It didn't even shake. "Give it BACK! PLEASE!"

Killua's voice behind me was alien and infuriating. "Clearian, we have to stay here for five hours, so stop freaking out, we'll get-"

He didn't understand, he had no idea what he had just costed me! I slapped his hand away as he dared to reached for my shoulder. The idiot had the audacity to touch me after what he just did?! I'd kill him before I let that happen!

"I HAVE to get it back, Killua!" I shouted, rooted to the spot. If I moved, I was going to leap on him. I was going to try my hardest to harm him, and the terrible effort not to rip something apart was making me shake. "What if, what if they..." I couldn't hold my eyes still. I could barely contain the urge to break something. My mind was sprinting through the darkest depths it had seen in years. And I couldn't stand the images that played in my head. I shook it violently, clenching my shaking fists I turned to Killua. "I can't let them ruin it..!"

He looked uncertain, almost scared. And he should have been. Because I was ready to annihilate anything between my book and I and nothi-

A sharp, ringing pain made the world go white.

It felt like the world was tilted...

... my hearing was fuzzy, my head was throbbing, and something cold was against my cheek.

I felt each slow rise and fall of my chest. My head felt full of cotton and everything was too bright.

When I blinked a few times, Killua was looking down on me, his fist trembling.

Why is he so tall...? I wondered. Then I realized he wasn't, and I figured out what was so cold against my cheek.

It was the floor. Damn... I was so pissed I let him hit me... and hard.

"What in the world is wrong with you, idiot?!" Killua's voice was louder and more annoying than usual. My stomach lurched and I cringed, closing my eyes again. "It's just a book! You can get another one!"

Tch... he's really pissing me off... My reeling head almost struggled to understand what he was talking about. What were we arguing about this time? I rubbed my aching skull as I peeled my face off of the floor, groaning. "... it's more than that, Killua...! You wouldn't understand, damn it...!"

He loomed over me, arms crossed. His eyes held fire as he glared down at me. But even so, his voice was glacier cool. "I wouldn't understand huh...?"

His fury almost scared me. His fight with Hisoka flashed in the back of my mind, and just from that brief memory, I was certain he was stronger. But that didn't matter. My journal wasn't something I was going to give up on..! I glared back at him because I was a fool. Because I was furious. Because this was something I would bet my life on!

There was a long, tense silence. And as the seconds dragged by, I felt the air thicken as our stubborn wills clashed and ground against each other. And in those long seconds, I learned that Killua's heart was darker than mine. Undeniably darker. And that as the longer he stared down at me, the colder his eyes grew, and the more the light faded from him and the air around him...

There was a monster in him, I realized. Underneath the fluff and spoiled attitude, something severe and thirsty watched and waited. And it wanted to rip me apart with the cold, unfeeling, yet dutiful hands. That fact speared me with a coldness that struck me numb to the bone. But I couldn't stop looking back into the abyss. If I stopped, then that meant I gave up on my last hope. That I was weak. Weak as my demons told me I was... that I believed the imps that snickered and whispered in my ear that I lost it, that I failed and a stranger was defiling and reading and profaning my secrets with their filthy hands...

Tears filled my eyes as I struggled not to lose the last ray of light that the journal had given me... But even then, I didn't blink. I didn't back down from the killer I saw in his eyes.

In that moment, I think he saw something in my eyes, too... though I can't say what he found. But when he closed his eyes, the monster I'd seen in the depths of his heart was carefully hid away... and the brat I'd come to know glared hotly down at me. The shadows lurking in the corners of the room vanished.

"Clearian, you're the one who said you wanted to work together, but how am I supposed to trust you when you're hiding so much?!" He demanded, turning away and crossing his arms.

Released from the staring contest, I was finally able to breathe. And clear my head a little to latch onto what he was saying. I looked down bitterly. ".. that's not fair... there are just things that I can't tell you, Killua.."

There was silence. "... then I can't team up with you... you're too unpredictable. And uncertainties jeopardize the mission."

I was shocked. Then angry. I turned up to him. "... so what, then...? You're just not gonna work with me? If I fail then that means that clown will kill you too, Killua..!"

He had his back to me. "Hmph... We'll see about that."

My anger flared again, and suddenly I was on my feet, spinning him around. "Damn it! You're impossible, Killua..!"

He slapped my hand away. "You're the one who's being impossible! Can't you just answer a few questions?! That's all I'm asking, and yet you're willing to risk our lives because you're a stubborn child!"

I stared at him in disbelief. I was the one who was being childish..? He was the one that was always such a spoiled brat! But as he glared back at me, his eyes were clear and serious. Not at all bratty and spoiled at all... I looked down at my hand that I'd grabbed him with. I was so unstable, I was shaking... and yet Killua was calm when he spoke. "I don't understand why you're so mad, Clearian... So I won't stand by if you're going to throw a tantrum on me without letting me know why. Especially if we're going to be partners, like you said you wanted."

I closed my eyes and my fist. Damn it... I'm in the wrong here, aren't I...? The weight of the realization was heavy in my stomach. Unable to stand facing him, I turned away and hid my embarrassment beneath a pout. "Tch... so if I answer you a few questions, you'll stop being an insufferable brat...?"

"... I might be persuaded." I could hear his victorious grin in his voice. My scowl twitched.

"... manipulative little fur ball..."

"Haaah? What was that..?!"

"Nothing, nothing..."


The room we were in was barely a room. More like a closet, long and narrow, with a table and two chairs squeezed inside. At the moment, the table was looking like a pretty comfortable bed... we'd been in the Trick Tower, sneaking around, over and behind prisoners for the last thirty two hours before we slipped up and were caught. This had been the first time someone had spotted us, and five hours sounded like a good nap...

But no. This "Safe Room" had been turned into an interrogation room, and I was the one under the microscope, while Killua got to drill me for the next five hours about my most private secrets. Fun.

I sighed. Resigning myself to my fate, I tipped back the chair I slouched in, teeter-tottering it with my weight. "Fine. Honesty starts now, but you're gonna have to do the same! You can't pretend like you're just some average kid, because you're definitely not; you've got some dark secrets, too..!"

He gave me a sidelong look from across the table, raising a brow. "Ehhh...? They're not exactly secret, you just never asked, loooser..."

My jaw dropped to the floor, along with the feet of my chair and I floundered. "E-eh..?! That's all it would have taken..?!"

I gripped my chin, suddenly spinning through my thoughts. Then I could have asked about his freaky abilities sooner..? Maybe I can get some Zetsu tips... or ask how he gets his hands to turn to claws..!

I was dazzled by the possibilities, but Killua's condescending scoff stirred me from my pondering. "Hmph. Not everyone is a shady guy like you, Clearian.."

I glared, bristling at the sleight. My ego was really aching lately... couldn't he cut me some slack for once? "... whatever, Killua. I have a reason for keeping secrets, so hurry up and ask your questions before I change my mind."

His mouth pouted brattily under a sullen glare then waved flippantly. "Fine. First of all, tell me why that little book is so important to you."

Ugh... that was a touchy subject. I shifted nervously as he fixed me with a serious stare and pointed accusingly. "You're always writing in it every night like a mad man; you get all serious and angry faced.. it's really freaky."

.. Freaky..?!

"Tch! I don't see why you care." I snapped, crossing my arms and turning away, refusing to answer such a rudely worded question. He grumbled impatiently and, full of regret, I remembered our deal and reluctantly glanced at him... "But it's... part of a promise I made to someone. I said that I'd record everything that they miss while I'm away from them.."

He didn't sound too persuaded. "Hmm.. I guess that makes sense.. but can't you just tell them you lost it and re-write the basics? Why are you so set on getting it back?"

I gave him a tired look. "Hm.. it's important for more than just that the words inside, Killua. But that aside, it's your turn to answer a question!"

"Ehhh..? Do I have to..?" He didn't seem as eager about this ordeal now that it was his turn.

"Yup! I have some questions, too! Trust is a two way street, and I don't exactly trust you, either."

"Hmmm... lame..."

"So! Answer me this. Why are you so freakishly good at being stealthy?"

He looked bored as he leaned back in his chair, balancing it on its back two legs. "Easy." He wagged his brows. "I'm an assassin."

I stared at him dully. "... eh?"

He honestly didn't expect me to believe him, did he? Oh, but he did.

He continued as if being a trained, paid killer was the most common thing in the world. "Yep! I've been one since I was six. For the past six years I've been murdering people for money."

I was uncomfortable. For a number of reasons. One of which was concern for his mental health. Am I trying to partner up with a psycho..? Another was genuine fear of Killua himself. Weren't his past skills enough to persuade me to believe him? He was able to go toe to toe with the Manic Magician himself. Only for a brief while, but still... to manage that without being familiar with Nen..? It was an unthinkably impressive feat.

But still. My only response was a dull stare. "... eh?"

Killua's chair legs hit the floor with a clack and he leaned one arm on the table, grinning conspiratorially. "I'm good at it, too. Would you like a demonstration? I could start with you."

I pushed away from the table, distancing myself from his hands that suspiciously resembled claws. "... Hey! I Thought we said we were being honest!"

Killua frowned, inspecting his sharpened nails irritably. "I'm not lying, stupid.. If you're not going to listen to my answer, then don't ask!"

I scowled, shifting uncomfortably. "Well, when an twelve-year-old says that they're an assassin, it's kinda hard to believe them.."

"Hmph..." He tipped his chair back again, arms slack beside him. "Then tell me, have you ever heard of the Zoldyck family...?"

I hesitated at that. "... well, yeah, who hasn't..?"

"Well I'm the third son in that family of assassins. If you don't believe me, that's fine. But don't be so surprised when I hunt you down after this exam is over." He sighed loftily. Then he smiled. "I wouldn't be much of an assassination, though. I'd murder you free of charge."

"E-eeeeh..?!" I stood suddenly, my chair screeching across the floor. "You wouldn't!"

He grinned cheekily, and I could have swore I saw a threatening glint in his eye. "Who knows. If you keep pissing me off, I just might..!"

I suppressed a shudder as ice slid down my spine and forced myself to sit down across from the boy that was threatening to end my life. "Yeah, whatever... just ask your damn question."

"Fine. Next question." He said, resting his elbows on the table and folding his hands before of his face. I felt a sudden shift in the room's atmosphere; he was serious. And that made me nervous. "Tell me about that freaky energy you have..."

Whoops. There it is..! The billion jenny question.

I froze up. As much as I promised I'd be honest, this really wasn't a matter I could discuss with him. I shook my head. "... look, Killua-"

He slammed his hand on the table. "You said you'd answer me!" I stared in shock at his determined gaze, and at the hint of fear I saw in him... He looked away, uncomfortable. "That power is unnatural and I don't trust it... it feels too much like..."

My eyes widened in surprise. So he's felt Nen before..? That was interesting. It meant that he'd come into contact with a Hunter before... and he was scared of whomever he'd seen use it. But who? Was he that bothered by Hisoka? I urged him on. "... like...?"

"Nothing." He snapped, turning the conversation on me. "Answer my question first! If I don't know what it is, then I don't trust it; how do I know it's not going to kill me or something? In order to properly coordinate with an ally, you need to know their abilities. So if you want to be my partner, then start explaining, Clearian."

"... tch... I know all that! It's not like I don't want to tell you... it's just against the rules... I'm not even supposed to know about it until after the exam..." I muttered, but he didn't look satisfied by my answer. In his eyes I saw the desperation of someone who was genuinely scared of and confused by Nen, and I knew he wasn't going to let up until he got what he wanted. I sighed at length, knowing I'd have to find some way to pacify him. "Look, I'll tell you the basics of it. I'll tell you everything you need to know about it; everything that I can without getting in trouble. But you'll have to wait until after the exam for all of the details. After we're both hunters, got it?"

He was silent for a long moment, his glacier blue eyes searching mine thoroughly and at length. To say it unnerved me to know that he probably was a genuine murderer would be an understatement. I felt like he was reaching beyond my eyes and into my thoughts, sifting through each half truth and spying each lie. And for each lie, he would add one more cruelty to the ways he planned to kill me after this exam. Sweat rolled down my neck, and just as I was certain he'd refuse the offer, he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Fiiiine..!" I almost sighed with relief until he pointed an accusing finger at me. I went cross-eyed looking at it in front of my nose. "But you better not skip out on any details that will get me killed! And you better teach it to me when we pass the exam, got it?!"

Oh great... now I have to spend time with this bratty murderer after the Exam, too... You know you have to stop making deals with killers, right Clearian?

But his firm gaze didn't seem to be giving me a choice. I physically and mentally wilted under his determination.

"Tch... fine." I muttered, cradling my head in my arms on the table. I heard him make a pleased sound, when a sudden thought occurred to me. I grinned up at him. "However. You'll have to call me Clearian-Sensei, okay?"

Then he wasn't so pleased.

"I WHAT?!"

"A deal's a deal. Ahem. So. I guess I'll start by explaining my ability to you..."

"Not under that condition, no way!"


... aaaahahahahahaha.

I'm a baaaad, bad fanfic author. It's been nearly a year since I updated, and if anyone still cares about this story, then they really didn't deserve that kind of hiatus. And I apologize to anyone and everyone for the wait.. I've just had a hard time writing Clearian due to his emotional baggage as Killua's words and his own failures throughout the exam stack up on him. He's pretty different from when I started writing this thing, and finding the line between the character being depressed and between me just being a bad writer has been hard to decipher. I really enjoyed writing Clearian when he was a snarky, easy going pre-teen. It's not so fun when he's reminiscing and brooding and just hard to be around, for both the characters and me as a writer, haha...

Also, building the awkward bridge between Clearian and Killua's friendship has been really hard for me, haha. They're both so damn Tsundere, and genuinely getting them to trust and befriend one another is proving next to impossible for both Gon and I... sigh.

However! Throwing a Yaoi joke [NotthatKilluaandClearianisabadshipifyoushipthat..] in at the beginning of the chapter really made me want to finish this one..! So I hope the 11 month break didn't lose too many readers, and change my writing style toooo terribly over the break...! I'm really hoping that the differences in my writing are merely because Clearian's feelings and not just me losing inspiration.. but I guess we'll find out!


REVIEWERS!

To those I can't send messages to because you're a guest; Thank you so much for your reviews! I usually send PMs to those who review, but since I can't... I guess I'll reply here, haha.

Kri: I'm glad you enjoyed the deviation, haha! And luckily, Hisoka's gum wears off if you're like... twenty feet away from him. So it wasn't too much of a problem once they landed, haha. That would be a hilarious adventure for them; relieving their bladders would have been a wild ride, for sure.. x'D

Guest: Ahhhh! Your words are so kind..! Q AQ I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and to say that it was your favorite at the time REALLY made my day. I hope I can keep creating chapters that you'll enjoy..! -bows-

BookWorm: Thank you so much! I try very hard to keep the plot moving and add in new things so that readers aren't bored by reading the same story that they watched in the anime, word for word..! And of course I encourage you to keep writing and reading! Reading, because it helps you grow as a writer; I heard somewhere that those who don't have time to read don't have time to write. And it's true! So keep it up, and I hope you can continue to enjoy reading what I write, haha.

Also, for those who review with questions about the story's plot, please don't be upset if I don't answer your questions! Keeping asking them, of course, but I just can't give you definite answers... Because as much as I love to hear your theories and see the gears turning in your head as you puzzle out the mysteries, I really can't spoil! Or else there's no point in reading; the wondering is half the fun! Haha.