The rest of that day was filled with tears. But i knew that it was hurting Dimitri to see me cry. I tried to stop but i couldnt. It was too hard leaving someone you love. I sighed and sent Adrian a text message.

Adrian, im sorry. I really do love you. I...i dont know...i want to be with you but i want to be with Dimitri. Its too hard to choose. Im...sorry :(
R.

He didnt reply for a long time. But finally, after about 30 minutes he replied.

I understand. And ill always love you. Ill always be here for you, and if you need me, you know where to find me. =I
A.

I sighed and thought for a minute. Would i tell him to visit me in my dreams? Would i tell him that i still really did want him, and it was hurting me too much to be away from him? I sighed and thought about my choices. Stay with Dimitri. Go back to Adrian. Be alone. Dimitri. Adrian. Alone. Dimitri. Adrian. Alone. I dont know how long i thought about this, but it seemed like forever. Dimitri had fallen asleep, and i was sitting on the couch.

I....i dont know if i can do this...staying away from you, that is. :(

He replied pretty quickly.

Then dont. Come see me. Or i can visit you in your dream?

It took me a minute to decide, and then i was on my way. I wrote a note to Dimitri telling him i had to go out for a minute, and id be back in a few minutes.

You at the apartment? i asked him, even though i knew he was. I was already on my way. I was half way there when he replied a 'yes' I told him i was coming. I parked my car and walked up to the room. I still had my key. I opened the door, and Adrian was sitting on the couch. He opened his arms for me to hug him. I smiled and went to hug him and sat down on his lap.

"I missed you..." He whispered in my ear.

"I missed you too....."

We didnt really talk much, just sat there with eachother. I fell asleep after a while, and dreamed of still being a guardian. Lissa's guardian. I was still the bad*** i was before i got pregnant. And then it shifted to the night at the cabin with me and Dimitri. Then to all the nights Adrian and i shared. Then to every kissed Dimitri and i had shared, and back and forth like that, until i finally woke up.

I was on the bed now. Adrian must have brought me to the bed after i was asleep. I looked at the clock. It was 8:30. Dimitri must be wondering where i am. I carefully got off the bed and went back to dimitri. He was sitting on the couch, staring at the door.

He glared at me when i walked in. "Where were you?" He questioned me.

"Uhm...." then i thought, its my life, not his, i should be able to go wherever i want. "I went to see Adrian. He wanted to talk, so i went to talk."

"Mh-hm. And why were you gone all night??"

"Dimitri. It's my life, what i did was my choice. But if you must know, i fell asleep. I came here as soon as i woke up." He sighed and came to hug me. I still wasnt sure who i wanted to be with. I loved Adrian and Dimitri the same. Should i go off on my own to take care of my child? Should i stay with Dimitri? Should I go to Adrian?

I thought for a while on what i should do.

At lunchtime, Dimitri inturrupted my thoughts. "Roza!"

"Huh!?" I asked, surprised.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldnt i be?"

"You didnt even seem to hear me when i said your name. I said it about 5 times!" I smiled.

"Im fine. Just thinking about...some stuff" i replied, hoping he didnt want to know. He dropped it.

I thought some more, and i still didnt know what i wanted.

I thought all night, and then at 4 AM i knew what i was going to do.

So, i dont know what im going to do. Should Rose be alone to take care of her child, go back to Adrian, or stay with Dimitri? Review!!

&Lots of Love
*Stacy*