A certain reviewer is a freaking psychic. How did you know who I was doing next? xD
My deepest apologies to my dearest Vnagandr for taking so long. Like Claudio in this chap, I just wasn't feeling it lately. I guess me and this chapter kinda relate. You'll see what I mean.
Though the new day itself was just as beautiful and full opportunity as those that came before, Claudio couldn't bring himself to do anything productive. At the moment, this lonely bench was his only friend as he slumped over with a sigh.
"I just... don't feel right today. Gah, what a horrible day..." he said aloud with a long sigh.
Claudio looked around: the sun was shining, the birds were singing... but it was different. The sun wasn't shining its spotlight down on HIM. The birds weren't singing HIS praises. Today just wasn't Claudio Serafino day like it was the other 364.
There was only one logical explanation for this sudden decline: Katarina had broken him. Claudio had never met a woman like that, but now that he has, things were entirely different. He was now afraid, and full of hesitation. What if the next woman was like her? The thought of being put through that nightmare again made Claudio wish he could go inside his own, human sized, woman-proof turtle shell.
"Hmm... maybe I should just go home..." Claudio sighed. He really didn't even know why he was here right now. The truth is, it took all of his effort just to crawl out of bed this morning. Right now, he felt like he couldn't charm a woman even if he wanted to. Claudio Serafino was truly a fallen angel.
In the midst of all of his lamenting, Claudio suddenly felt a warm object pressing against him. He immediately looked down and to his utter shock, a blonde girl was laying in his lap!
"Nyaaaaa~" she mewled, nuzzling her head against his crotch a couple of times.
"WHA... WHAT THE EVERLOVING F*** ARE YOU DOING?!" Claudio screamed, immediately scrambling to the other side of the bench. The blonde girl sat up and looked at Claudio, her teal colored eyes wide as she adjusted the strange cat ear headphones she was wearing.
"S-sorry, nya~! I don't know what came over me, nya~! I was just walking down the street and I saw you, and I just had to hug you for some reason."
Claudio dusted himself off and adjusted his clothes as he looked at the girl strangely. "Do you do that to every random stranger you see?"
"No... come to think of it, that's the first time that happened, nya."
"Why do you keep doing that?"
"What, nya~?"
"That."
"What, nya~?"
"THAT! Ugh you know what, it doesn't matter. Who are you, anyway?"
"LUCKYYYYYYYY CHLOEEEEEE!"
The high pitched squeal of the girl's voice caused a sharp pain in Claudio's ear that made him wince ever so slightly. But nonetheless, she was still a female and Claudio was obligated to be polite.
"You know, you're a very strange girl. But your stunning beauty outweighs your strange quirks... I think..."
"Awwwww! You're cute too, nya~!" Chloe replied with a cute little wink.
"W-would you care to sit? Not on my lap, though!"
"Sure! NYAAA!"
Claudio took a deep breath and regained his composure as Lucky Chloe plopped onto the bench next to him and got comfortable. The two of them sat there for a second, sharing an awkward silence. This was the last thing Claudio expected to happen today, and he was still deciding whether it was fortuitous or unfortunate.
"So what's your name?" Lucky Chloe asked, getting on all fours and getting extremely close to Claudio's face.
"It's... it's Claudio." he responded meekly, tugging at his coat a few times. "If I may ask... shouldn't you be in school or something right now?"
"School? I don't go to school, nya~! I'm a secret ag... uhhh I'm a dancer!"
"A dancer...?"
"Yup. I can dance anyone's pants off, nya~! Well, not literally... tee hee~!"
"That's interesting."
"Wanna see my moves?"
"Well, as a matter of fact... no. I don't think so."
"Awwww... nya..."
If things weren't awkward before, they were extremely awkward now that Claudio had hurt the girl's feelings. What the hell is he thinking?! Claudio Serafino could never let a woman down! He truly wasn't himself anymore...
Fortunately, Lucky Chloe seemed to perk up almost immediately as she fell backwards on top of Claudio's lap and lifted her little kitty paw gloved hands in the air. They found Claudio's head and started messing with his slicked back hair.
"So whaddaya do, nya~?"
Claudio tried to ignore her hands in his hair and responded.
"Well, I'm an exorcist by trade... but I pride myself on being a blessing to all women. Yes, there was a time when just the sight of me would make a woman's dreams come true. But alas... that time is over now."
"Why is that, nya~?"
"Well you see... I've just lost my confidence. I feel so... broken. My mojo has left me like a breath leaving the body. I've never felt so defeated in my life! I've just lost the desire to bring pleasure to women."
"Awww, I'm sorry to hear that, nya. Well if it makes you feel better, you're definitely driving me crazy right now! NYA~!"
"R-really?"
"Yah! You wanna know what I think? I think you still have the touch and the confidence, but it's just taking a little nap. You gotta look inside yourself and say 'hey confidence! wake up!' NYA~!"
"Wow... I never thought of it that way."
They were silent for a moment as Claudio sat perfectly still and let Lucky Chloe's words swim around in his head for a second. As Chloe laid there and messed with his hair, he was strangely starting to feel a little better. He never imagined this hyperactive girl would give sound advice, but something told him that she was right. Maybe he DID still have it! He just needed to look in a mirror and slap himself a few times until he was out of this awkward funk and back into the sweet groove that had pleased so many women in his lifetime.
"I think... it's time for Claudio Serafino to make a comeback." he said aloud confidently.
"WOOOO! That's great, nya!" Lucky Chloe cheered, leaping upwards and hugging Claudio's neck.
"But... I can't help but still retain some doubt. What if I'm just not good enough anymore?" he said, hanging his head slightly.
"Aww, cmon! I think you'll do just fine." Chloe encouraged, petting Claudio's head gently.
"You really think so?"
"Yup! I think you should just put yourself out there! I'm sure all the lovely ladies will flock to you and then you'll feel all better! Nya~!"
"I think you're right..."
Claudio felt a warmth inside his chest that made him want to leap to his feet. And he did just that. With a jolt of energy, Claudio leaped off of the bench and put his fists on his hips like a superhero.
"CLAUDIO SERAFINO IS BAAAAAAAACK!" he yelled triumphantly.
"WOOOOO! I'M SOOO HAPPY! NYA NYA NYA NYAAAAAAAAA!" Lucky Chloe squealed happily.
Claudio turned to Lucky Chloe, flashing his confident smile once more.
"I must thank you, strange cute girl. You have brought me back from the brink of the abyss! How can I ever repay you?"
Chloe looked away and blushed as she played with her pigtail. "Weeeeell... you could give me a little kissy or two, nyaaaa~"
"That can be arranged."
Claudio scooped up Lucky Chloe in his arms and kissed her just as powerfully as he had kissed any other lucky woman in his lifetime. Chloe moaned softly as her arms and legs went limp in his arms. The electric intensity of Claudio's fiery lips had rendered her body weak.
"Welp, I must be going now." Claudio finally said, breaking the kiss. "There are many more women for me to bless with my orgasmic touch. I'm just going to put you here on this bench. Thank you for everything!"
"D-d-on't m-mention it... n-y-aaaaa..." she sighed happily as she fainted from pure ecstasy.
Claudio set Lucky Chloe down on the bench and walked away, feeling completely rejuvenated. It's like Chloe had reached over and flipped his "ON" switch upwards again. He had never felt more strong than he did right now. Things were going to look up from here on out. Claudio was back and better than ever. He wouldn't just bring women pleasure. He would make their very SOULS moan with delight and touch themselves at the sight of him.
"I must capitalize on this newfound burst of confidence! Time to head straight to the source of female beauty..."
Next... Claudio does yoga!
