Vnagandr should enjoy this chapter, as it serves the dual purpose of Claudio being uber sexy and bashing one of her hated characters. Hope you enjoy : )
Claudio was having a chill day, like usual. Ever since he got his confidence back and wooed the sexy Zafina, he was feeling better than he had felt in a while. Naturally he wanted to capitalize on this momentum, so he was ever on the hunt for lovely specimens on this most fortunate of days. Little did he know, he would not stumble upon a potential mate; he would instead bump into his natural enemy.
"Ahhh... a beautiful day like always. Such a clean, untainted aura in the air..."
Claudio was currently sitting on a bench, enjoying a refreshing beverage. As he finished his can and tossed it in the nearby trashcan, (ringing it perfectly because one would expect no less from such a perfect individual) he closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the fresh air generously provided by the planet Earth.
"Ahhhh... such a perfect-AGH! Ugh! *Cough cough* What the hell?!"
Claudio suddenly broke out into a fit of coughs as his face scrunched up like he smelled something terrible. The smell was so awful that he had to cover up his nose. But it wasn't a smell like a normal human would complain about. You see, Claudio has the ability to sense a supernatural presence. He can smell a being's very aura. And the aura he smelled right now was none too pleasant...
"Ugh! Horrible... dark...tainted... a very nasty presence is nearby. A presence of pure evil!"
Claudio immediately had an idea of who it was; there was only one bloodline who could have an aura as polluted and rancid as this.
"MISHIMA!"
Claudio immediately jumped to his feet and drew his bow, aiming it in all directions. He closed his eyes and sniffed in order to locate the tainted stinking miasma that all Mishimas exuded from their disgusting bodies. His eyes sprang open when he immediately located the source.
"YOU!"
Claudio aimed his bow at the assailant, murderous intent in his eyes. The source of the filthy aura was none other than the bearer of the Devil Gene... the man who waged war against the world... the man hated by the entire population... Jin Kazama.
"Um, h-hi." Jin said in his usual emo voice, trying to hide his fear of being shot with a mystic arrow.
"YOU! You dare come to me... with your unholy presence!" Claudio spat.
"Hey, I just need your help!" Jin whispered loudly, looking all around.
"You are an abomination! Your soul is damned! Why would an emissary of the Heavens such as myself help a demonic plague upon humanity like you?!" Claudio retorted.
"Well... because... you're the perfect guy for the job." Jin said, looking down at his feet.
"Wha... what do you mean? Do you seek death?"
"NO! I need your help with... a girl." Jin muttered, looking away and trying to hide his embarrassment.
At that moment, a very high pitched, squeaky, annoying voice made itself heard to the public.
"JIIIIIIIN!"
"Oh shit, I can hear her...!" Jin yelled, getting down low and looking around like a paranoid person.
"OHHH JIIIIIIIN! I'VE COME TO FIND YOUUUUUUU!" the girly voice squeaked. "LET'S RUN AWAY TOGETHER, MY SWEET LOVE!"
"What the hell is going on?" Claudio asked.
"We have to run. NOW!"
Without another word, Jin grabbed Claudio and started sprinting as far as possible in the opposite direction of the voice.
"Agh! Ugh! H-hey! How dare you touch me with your filthy hands! Let go! LET GOOO!"
The two of them didn't stop running for a good five minutes. Finally, when Jin thought he was at a comfortable distance, they took a moment to regain their wind. When the two of them stopped to catch their breath, Claudio immediately drew his bow and aimed it at Jin.
"Enough of this. Explain yourself right now or face annihilation!" he demanded.
Jin panted a few more times, then stood up straight and cleared his throat.
"Ahem. Okay... you see, there's this girl. She's always had a thing for me for as long as we've known each other. But the thing is... I REALLY don't like her that. She's a close friend of mine, but I only see her as a little sister. Her on the other hand... the girl peeps through my bathroom window for Devil's sake!"
"I see... so this female is in love with you, but you don't return her feelings." Claudio replied, putting his hand on his chin. For some reason this just made him angrier. "How dare you not return the affections of this woman! What kind of man are you?!"
"H-hey! I can like whoever I want to like!" Jin replied angrily. "I'm more than happy to stay friends with Xiaoyu, but I'm not taking it to the level she wants to take it! And that... is why I've come to you."
Claudio couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was almost hilarious. The man who was his sworn enemy... who it was his duty as an exorcist to extinguish from this world... was looking to him for help with a girl. Claudio was close to bursting with laughter right then and there. This was so damn amusing that he decided to take Jin up on this ridiculous request.
"Very well. What is it that you ask of me specifically?" Claudio asked, a huge grin on his face.
"You're good with the ladies, aren't you? It's something you brag about constantly. I just need you to charm her and make her fall in love with YOU so she'll forget about ME. Got it?"
"Hmmm... that doesn't seem like a hard task. Tell me, this... Xiaoyu, was it?"
"Yes, Ling Xiaoyu."
"Is she pretty?"
"Huh? Well, I mean, she's cute. Cute like in an adorable way, not in a "I would pork her" way."
"Hmm, I see. Very well then, I will help woo this girl from your vile clutches. But let's get one thing straight, Devil blood! I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this because it is my duty to woo all the pretty females of the world. I still intend to kill you and rid the world of your wretched bloodline, so just keep that in mind."
Jin rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Ugh, whatever. Just get Xiao off my dick already!"
Claudio sat down and put his hand on his chin, thinking of a solution to the issue. He had to have some kind of plan to lure her out... but at the same time he couldn't compromise Jin. If only there was some way to get the two of them alone...
Suddenly Claudio got an idea. His own little light bulb flashed above his head and kissed him on the cheek, because even inanimate objects love Claudio Serafino.
"I've got it! Do you have Xiaoyu's number?"
"Uhhh... well yeah. She sends it to me about 100 times a week."
"Great! Give me your phone."
Jin tossed Claudio his phone and Claudio started texting Xiaoyu a message:
Hey bby, I wanna see u the beach 4 some sexy time. Bring ur cutest swimsuit! C u there, LY :)
"Seriously?" Jin groaned, slapping his forehead. "No way in heaven or hell or any other life would I say that."
"It doesn't matter. This girl is too stricken by you to think logically." Claudio replied giving Jin his phone. "Welp, that does it! All you have to do now is lay low and let me work my magic."
Claudio nearly squealed when Jin tackled him and hugged him tight.
"Ohhh thank you thank you THANK YOU for doing this!"
"GAAAAH! GET OFF OF ME! FOUL DEMON! PLAGUE UPON HUMANITY! DAMNATION IN HUMAN FORM!"
Jin immediately let go and returned to his stoic self. "Right, sorry. It's just... it'll feel so damn good to take a shower or use the bathroom without her peeping at me for once."
Before Jin even had a chance to be relieved, he once again heard an awful glass shattering girly voice squealing in the distance.
"STOP HIDING FROM ME! I JUST WANT YOU TO SCOOP ME IN YOUR ARMS AND FLY ME AWAY, YOU SPIKY HAIRED SEX GOD! I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! A...NY...THING!"
"What do I do?" Jin whispered, getting as low to the ground as possible.
"Ugh, you coward. Just go hide at my house until I get rid of her." Claudio replied. "But if you put your dirty, corrupt hands on even ONE of my possessions..."
"I won't! Sheesh!"
And with that, the two departed with no love lost between them. Jin took off for Claudio's house to lay low, and Claudio headed for the beach to enact his brilliant, masterful plan.
LATER THAT AFTERNOON, AT THE BEACH...
The sun was at the peak of brightness and the weather couldn't be hotter as the gentle breeze blew through the palm trees. It couldn't have been a more perfect time for some fun in the sun, and the many patrons littering the beach knew it. Among these beach-goers was none other than Ling Xiaoyu, the Chinese lovestruck 19 year old girl. She had her hair down and was laying prone on a pink towel, wearing a tiny little pink bikini with white polka dots. The two piece bikini was way too small even for her, and it showed off her milky white petite body quite well. She wanted to turn Jin on, and turn him on HARD. Little did she know, the tables would be turned on her today...
"Let's see..." Claudio muttered as he scanned the entire beach, looking desperately for the desperate fangirl.
"Hmm... Jin said she was short and skinny, with black hair... hey, could that be her?! Wow... she's freaking cute! Man, Jin is truly a dumbass for turning that down."
Claudio smiled as he made his way to who he assumed to be Ling Xiaoyu. Right now he was wearing a white tanktop and black shorts, but if push came to shove he had a secret weapon up his sleeve.
"Excuse me..." Claudio said when he approached the bikini clad black haired girl. "...are you Ling Xiaoyu?"
The girl immediately sprang to her feet and turned around. "JIIIIIIIN! Huh? You're not Jin. Where's Jin? Have you seen Jin? I'm waiting for Jin."
"Ya don't say... heh, you're Xiaoyu alright." Claudio chuckled.
"And you are...?"
Claudio was quite surprised to see Xiaoyu looking at him normal and talking to him like a normal person. Most females would get weak in the knees and tongue tied just looking at Claudio Serafino! This girl had it bad for Jin; so bad that it was blinding her from the stunning beauty standing in front of her. Claudio had to change that. He was starting to think now it wouldn't be an easy task...
"Claudio. Claudio Serafino. Xiaoyu? May I just comment on what a beautiful, delicate little flower you are? You're just a precious little tulip who rests in an angel's windowsill."
Xiaoyu's face curled like she ate something bad. "Uhhhh... that's nice. Now piss off, pretty boy! I'm waiting for my Jinny Jin Jin!"
The utterance of those words had an almost physically painful effect on Claudio. His heart almost tore in two; never in his life had a woman said those words to him! He felt wronged... betrayed...dishonored...CHALLENGED!
Oh it's on now, little girl. IT. IS. ON!
Claudio had a determined look on his face. He was prepared to use every tool in his arsenal to win this girl's heart and make her forget about that disgusting monster Jin Kazama!
"Hmmm... how fortunate." Claudio said with an evil grin.
"Huh? What? What's fortunate?" Xiaoyu asked.
"How fortunate that it's such a hot day outside! I just want to get out of this shirt..."
Not taking his eyes off of Xiaoyu for even a second, Claudio grabbed his tanktop and used his immense strength to rip it from his torso. He tossed it on the ground and stood directly in front of Xiaoyu, rubbing his hands seductively across his perfect abs and going upwards towards his own nipples. Though he tried to turn on Xiaoyu with his moves, she wouldn't bite.
"Psssh, so what?" Xiaoyu scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Jin has a way hotter bod that you do. Now get out of my sun!"
Claudio's confident face turned to a frown as he looked away from the lovestruck girl.
Damn, she's playing hardball. Very well then... it's time to deliver the knockout punch!
"Hmmm... well this is no good." Claudio said with a grin, turning back around and facing Xiaoyu. "I'm still too hot."
"Well, you could always leav-AHHHH!"
Xiaoyu's sentence turned into a startled squeal as the black shorts Claudio was wearing suddenly went flying. Her eyes were no longer full of annoyment, but they were wide with shock as she gazed upon Claudio in a new light.
Claudio stood confidently in front of Xiaoyu as he showed off his secret weapon, an EXTREMELY tiny black speedo that hugged his pelvis tight. The fabric was being stretched to its extreme limits thanks to his huge and naturally superior male organ pushing against it with all its might. His bare legs rippling with muscle were being displayed in all their natural glory. He looked nothing short of a god in human form.
Suddenly, a chain reaction of orgasms began erupting throughout the beach as loud moans of ecstasy echoed in the air. Women began falling over everywhere until the beach was littered with their unconscious bodies.
"Ah...ahhh...s-so what...? I... I saw Jin nearly naked plenty of times. You got nothing, y-you... s-s-sorry excuse for an underwear model!" Xiaoyu spat. Claudio smiled as she stammered; she was trying to fight it with all her might, but to no avail. He was winning her over with his flawless beauty, and there was nothing she could do about it.
"Hmmm... well I guess we'll just see about that, won't we?" Claudio whispered.
"Yeah! We will!" Xiaoyu spat in defiance.
"Oh dear, I shouldn't leave my shorts just laying there..."
"Wha...? AHHH SWEET MERCIFUL ASS!"
Claudio bent over to pick up his discarded shorts, and Xiaoyu got a full view of just what Claudio was packing in the rear. The speedo was so tiny it didn't hide much of his ass, if at all. His model ass was definitely starting to penetrate her barrier.
"Oh God... oh wow... ohhh man..." Xiaoyu squealed as she put her hands on her crotch to hide her arousal. She couldn't deny what she was feeling much longer; the sight of Claudio in this nearly naked form had her THROBBING.
"Hmph. Well I guess you've made your point." Claudio said, trying the reverse psychology approach. "Jin is clearly the hotter man. You win. I guess I'll just go over there and leave you alone..."
"W-wait!" Xiaoyu yelled, stopping him before he had a chance to walk away. A grin spread across Claudio's lips; he just won.
"You...you...ummm... you shouldn't be walking around like that without sun tan lotion!"
Claudio turned around and looked into her eyes, a seductive smile on his lips.
"Hmmm... you're right. Do you have any?"
"Y-y-y-yeah... r-r-right here."
Xiaoyu tossed Claudio the oily sunscreen and he caught it with one hand.
"Grazie." he said with a bow. He popped the cap off and was about to squirt some into his hands... but he decided to do something completely different.
"OOPS!"
Claudio turned the bottle upside down and doused himself in the sun block, covering his body in the oily substance until he glistened brightly in the sun. He was so sexy that steam was literally emanating from every part of his body.
"Why...how clumsy of me..." Claudio whispered seductively as he started rubbing himself all over, still not taking his gaze away from the awestruck Xiaoyu.
That was the final straw.
"FUCK THAT EMO PRETTY BOY! COME HERE, YOU SWEET LUSCIOUS GOD OF A MAN!"
Xiaoyu tackled Claudio to the ground and shoved her tongue forcefully into his mouth as her hands moved up and down his slippery bare torso. Every pent up emotion she had been holding inside her unleashed at once as she did things to Claudio that she had only seen in an X-rated movie. With a smile of content, Claudio closed his eyes and laid back, allowing the lovestruck girl-turned horny vixen to have her way with him. The only thing more satisfying than charming a cute young girl was knowing that it was JIN he stole her from.
LATER THAT NIGHT, AT CLAUDIO'S HOUSE...
Everything was finally resolved that night: Jin was free, Xiaoyu was blessed to have been pleasured by his incomparable manhood, and Claudio got to go home feeling a new sense of accomplishment. All that was left for him was to take a relaxing shower and sleep soundly that night.
"Ahhhh... nothing is better than a hot shower after such a glorious and fulfilling day!" Claudio yelled aloud as he washed the slippery lotion and the smell of hot sex free of his flawless body. Right now, he was feeling larger than life... and that was exactly the way it was supposed to be.
As he stepped out of the shower and commenced to drying off, he suddenly felt an ominous presence looming in the air.
"Wha...something's not right here..."
He dropped his towel and looked around, sniffing to see if he could locate the aura. He looked around until his eyes fell upon his bathroom window, to which he immediately let out a squeal.
"AAAAAAAAH SANTA MIERDA!"
To his surprise, Xiaoyu had her face crammed against his window and was furiously masturbating to his wet naked form.
"Sorry girlie, you already received your blessing! You gotta go!" Claudio yelled angrily as he pulled his blinds down and cut Xiaoyu off from her free show.
"AWWW CMON CLAUDY! I WAS ALMOST FINISHED!"
"Cazzo pulcino pazzo..." Claudio muttered as he slipped on his night clothes and went to bed. Though he still managed to sleep soundly that night, a newfound feeling of dread was now welling up in his stomach. While he did love females and making them happy, he wasn't too keen on the idea of having a stalker for all eternity.
