Waking up was horrible the next morning, more so than usual. Not only we were on the cold ground, but our fire had long gone out and there was a fresh thin layer of icy snow covering our bodies that was making everyone shiver uncontrollably. I'm surprised we made it through the night like this.

I feel the bruises on my back from the rock hard ground and can only imagine how those will turn up with my sensitive skin. My toes may have forstbite and my fingertips are just as numb. I wish the season would change sooner rather than later and give me some of that warm climate i've been missing. Fat Chance.

I watched as Jimbo and Pat relit the fire we had going the previous night while Dana and Danny curl up together for warmth.

Another day in the life of Bella Swan has passed and I have made it out alive. Geez, I don't even know who Bella Swan is. That girl used to have a home and families who loved her. What the fuck do I have? A couple bags of snacks and a toothbrush.

"Where do I go to the bathroom?" I ask breaking the silence.

Dana leaves the confines of warm arms and grabs my hand, "C'mon, I'll lead you to the Ladies Room."

"Hold on, let me grab my toothbrush."

After grabbing that and the toothpaste, she leads me a little ways into the forest and she tells me to squat.

"I should have known" I groan." What do I use for... ya know?"

"Those leaves behind you... I know they will be cold but its better when they're wet, anyway."

I nod mutely not wanting to hear anymore and do as she tells me. This is humiliating.

I wonder what's going to happen when I start my period. I was always irregular and got it every few months and it just popped in whenever. I hope this time around it waits as long as possible since I don't have anything.

It's gross to even think about.

Brushing my teeth wasn't so bad since there was light snow on the ground and everything was practically wet but the 'bathroom' situation was horrible.

We return to everyone else and I grab a few snacks from out of the bags we brought. I handed everyone a little something in which they all thank me for.

They reminded me of wild animals as they ravished their food; it is all they had. I guess manners were out of the question once you lived out here.

"Tell me about your ex's family" Milo says groggily. He starts to stretch his neck to get the kinks out. I know how you feel, buddy. "I mean... if you want to. It's just... you talk in your sleep."

I had nothing better to do than to tell him about them.

I notice that the fire was going and we were all in a little circle and they waited for me tell me story. I felt like I was at a slumber party back at camp when I was nine. We sit around in a circle (in much warmer weather, of course) and tell scary stories.

I never thought I'd be in this position now telling them all about something I never wanted to let go of. It seemed too personal even for myself on this cold day, but just like these people, they were like the Cullen's... they wanted a piece of humanity as well. They wanted to feel like they were on the inside even if for a short moment and listen to my tale. It was new and exciting for them and maybe they were reliving being at camp as well when they were kids or some faded memory of theirs that was locked in.

Who knows? But I decided I would give them what I could.

"Rosalie is gorgeous and she knows it too. She's tall and blonde and her beauty would blind you if you ever came into contact with her. She also happens to be the vain one in the family. Emmett is her boyfriend and he keeps her on her toes just as she keeps him on his. He is very muscular, but he couldn't hurt you. He's such a big teddy bear. Alice is the hyper overactive one. She will drag you to go shopping for hours and it's horrible, well for me since I always hated shopping and the girly activities. She loves to spend money on you just like any other Cullen would, but she's the worst. Then there is her boyfriend, Jasper. He is quiet and he loves his History. He is very tall and its funny since Alice is very short. He has this... calming feel to him whenever you're around him." I laugh silently to myself. If he only knew. "Then you have their parents, Carlisle and Esme. Esme is very compassionate and like the mother bear of the family and then Carlisle is the head of the household. He's an amazing doctor. I might have spent more time with him than his son since I'm so clumsy. I was always in the hospital for something"

"They sound amazing but... they're dating each other? I mean whatever floats your boat but—"Dana says.

"Oh no" I chuckle. "They're all adopted. Rosalie and Jasper are brother and sister and then you have Alice, Edward and Emmett

"Oh, that's a relief, but still weird." Milo adds.

He has no idea. They're not even related. They're just vampires who pretend to be human.

Yeah, things would go down well if I mentioned that tidbit.

"Do you miss them?" he asks me softly.

"Is the sky, blue?" I say as I look up into the blue sky.

"The sound absolutely rich, Bella." Dana dreamily states. "Why the hell are you out here? Wouldn't they have taken you in?"

"They left before all of this happened." I shiver a bit more and Milo pulls me tighter against him.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but it seems like you had it good while things lasted, anyway." Danny says. "It's good to remember the good things in life. Don't focus everything on him and his family. When you live out here, you can only move forward."

"Which one did you date? What was his name?" Dana asks.

"Edward." I softly smile.

"What did he look like?"

My, wasn't she eager this morning.

"He was tall and lean. He had beautiful bronze hair that stuck out everywhere. He didn't have to do anything to it; it was always instant 'sex hair'." I chuckle. "It's weird to talk about him in the past tense. It's like it makes him less real and more like he never existed in the first place."

'It will be as if I never existed'

Why do I keep remembering those words? Edward surely can make things a lot harder for me than they already are. It's like I can hear his voice as if he were next to me when I remember.

I almost choke up remembering that day in the woods.I turn and look into the dark green forest and shudder again at the memories it instantly brings me.

Eventually Edward Cullen will turn into a mere memory and one that I will try my hardest never to bring up.

Impossible.


I have a few more tricks up my sleeve with this story, so the plot may change in my mind but I have a very good idea on how I want things. Things need to take a more 'dramatic' effect in my mind. I'm not feelin the 'torment' enough LOL. Bella's trying to block Edward and her parents out of her mind by moving forward but it's easier said than done.

Thanks for all of the reviews and pm's :) Means a lot. Keep reading!

P.S.

I will coninue with "A dream or a nightmare" very soon but i'm having some serious writers block with that one...again...Grr...