13th April 1912
I was on the ship with my parents and sister, standing by the railing, waving goodbye to my grandparents on the Sydney docks. My father took my hand as I stood up on the railings and held me up so I could see. It was beautiful.
The scene changed. I was standing on deck with my sister, staring in horror as the lifeboats began to be filled. Someone pushed us into a boat, when I realised that our parents were missing. I called for them, but there was no answer. My sister pointed and shouted something. I looked and saw them there, staring straight at us, unresponsive. I tried to climb out to get them to join us, but my sister pulled me down.
"It's too late, Ada. Too late. Too late. Too late, Ada."
I woke up with a fright at the sound of someone at the door – again. Except this time I realised it was Will's voice calling to me.
"Ada? Ada?" He almost sounded frantic.
I slowly started to climb out of bed, when I caught sight of my dress on the floor, where Bruce Junior had flung it. The beautiful sky-blue dress which Will had bought me...ruined. I could see the tears through it. I gathered it up and stuffed it under my pillow, suddenly noticed the comb which was lying on the bed. The comb Will had placed in my hair. The comb that man had torn out only a few hours ago.
I crumpled to the floor in floods of tears. I was pathetic, useless. I couldn't even stop that man, that beast who tried to pass as a gentleman, from doing whatever he pleased. As if that was not bad enough, I knew that the one thing I wanted to keep for Will and Will alone was now ruined. Oh yes, Will and I had been closer than ever before since we boarded Titanic. But that didn't change the fact that now another man had...I couldn't bear to think about it.
"Ada? Are you awake?"
I had to get rid of him. I stumbled out through the darkness to the door, but I didn't open it.
"Will, I'm tired."
"So am I, Ada," he sounded relieved. "I just wanted to make sure Lights took care of you."
"Yes."
"Aren't you going to let me in?"
"No, Will. Please just go!" I could feel the tears returning.
"Are you crying, lovvie?"
"No, I'm not. I'm just tired."
"Ada, just open the door. I can get a spare key if you don't."
I had to do it. I pulled open the door and peered out at him.
"I'm fine, Will. Honestly. I just want to sleep."
"You are certainly not fine, lovvie. You've been crying!" He stepped inside and turned the light on.
"I just had a bad dream, that's all," I replied. At least that was some of the truth. I had no intention of revealing the rest.
He didn't believe me, I could see it in his face. I looked down at the floor, suddenly realising that I felt dirty. I couldn't look at him, not anymore. I felt his fingers on my chin as he tilted my face up.
"What is wrong, lovvie?"
"God, will you stop calling me that? I'm sick of being spoken to like that!"
He dropped his hand, obviously taken aback by my outburst. I was taken aback by my outburst. Obviously I had started down the route of saying horrid, cruel things I didn't mean. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself.
"I'm sorry, Ada, I thought..." his voice trailed off. "So Lights looked after you?"
"Why did they call you away?" I demanded suddenly.
He just looked at me, sighed and replied, "It was a girl from first class who was violated. Apparently. Turns out she just slipped and the young man saved her, but I was called away because they thought he had..." he trailed off yet again. "Lights did look after you, didn't he?"
"Please go, Will."
I held the door open for him and he slowly walked out, looking utterly defeated.
"What about breakfast, Ada?"
"I don't really care, Will. I just want to sleep."
Lizzie shook me awake late that morning. As soon as I woke, I realised that Will had spoken to her – she was looking at me curiously, trying to work out what was wrong. I ignored her, deciding to dress myself in the clothes which I had brought myself. I couldn't bear the thought of getting dressed up for anything, not now.
"Are you sure you're alright, miss? Officer Murdoch tells me you were upset and crying last night."
At least she wasn't trying to hide her intentions as she stood in the doorway, watching me dress myself.
"I am quite fine, Lizzie, but I am not in the mood to be pestered by anyone."
"Yes, miss. Are you going out for lunch?"
"I shall have some tea, I think. I don't think I could stomach any food today."
She nodded and left the room. I looked down at the dressing table, catching sight of my locket. Bruce had broken the chain.
"Ada!"
Damn. Will had caught sight of me from the bridge and he ran towards me.
"Not now, Will."
"Yes now, Ada. What happened last night? And please don't lie to me this time!"
"Nothing. I promise you, Will. Nothing happened."
"If you don't tell me, I will drag it out of Lights."
"No, I really don't think you will. You have a job to do, don't you?"
He looked hurt and I felt terrible, but I couldn't bring myself to change my mind about the incident. I would keep it to myself, no one would ever know and the only problem was that I would have to cut Will out of my life.
"Ada, I wish you would speak to me. Please."
"Very well. I will speak to you this evening."
"At dinner?" He frowned at the thought.
"No. I have no intention of dining with those men again. Come to my room and we can decide then."
He didn't want to agree to this. I knew he only wanted to speak now, but I was suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious. So many people were walking by, muttering about my choice of outfit. They were all so shallow – anything could be wrong, and all they cared about was my stupid dress.
"If that's what you really want, Ada. I want to get to the bottom of this."
He squeezed my hand before walking away. I suddenly felt horribly sick again – I couldn't even face drinking tea with those people. No, I would just go back to my room and see what I felt like then.
A/N – I have been putting off writing for the last little while, but I forced myself to get this out today. 'Forced' is a bit strong, actually. I enjoyed writing it, but I've been distracted by Blackadder and Neopets, so I kept putting it off. That and my darned hayfever which is really starting to irritate me. :3 Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!
