Chapter Eight.
I honestly couldn't tell you how much time has passed. It seems as if the days drag on and are endless. My days turned into weeks and those weeks turned into months. Those months had turned into warm weather but it never lasted long, for our nights were bitter cold.
I have had time to adjust to this new life of mine. Milo has helped more than anyone could ever know. He is my own personal sun to these dark and cold days just as I know I am his.
Milo and I have taken permanent residency with Dana, Jimbo, Danny and Pat. We still stay by the stream and light little fires at night to bring us warmth. We try to enjoy the hand we were dealt even if it isn't to our liking.
I've long ran out of money months ago. Cash never lasts long when you're on the outside. I was determined to savor as much as I could but I knew if I wanted to live, I had to eat.
I am only human after all. How cliché.
I've taken up smoking as my new hobby and nobody seems to mind since we all have our little quirks. I bum them from willing participants; passersby's from the inside that have money and homes.
While I have taken up smoking, Milo has been our guide for food. I often tag along sometimes to try and learn but he has been doing this longer than I have. He has more skills and knows how to work the people or in some cases, working his own hands into garbage cans.
In between looking for food, if Milo is about to lose it from all of the stress and never finding anything, he will do some pushups and count until he can't do it anymore. It's a lot of stress on yourself out here and even harder when others depend on you for survival.
Dana and Danny are joined at the hip and we all think there is something going on but they deny it. Pfft. We're not stupid. We sleep next to them every night. We can hear their moans. I just hope they don't get pregnant. That would absolutely be terrible as of right now. We warn them, but they insist everything is fine and they're not doing anything.
Their jobs are to keep a look out and find stuff for us to sleep with; clothes, blankets, etc. Whatever it is that they can find is appreciated. There may be no St. Vincent's around here but the world is our backyard and we can find almost anything if we look hard enough.
Jimbo is almost like our guide, a head of household if you will, while Pat is his right hand man on everything. They guide us and pick up the pieces where we may have trouble. It's our own little world inside of these woods and that's how we make things work.
I still cry in the night sometimes wondering where the Cullen's are and if they're happy. I often find myself daydreaming about, Renee, Phil and Charlie too, but I fight with my brain to push aside those thoughts. It won't do me any good and it never will.
My mind has become one and one numb jumble they are. I don't just mean mentally but physically also.
I was skinny to begin with and now living out here has made me skinnier than a twig. I am sure that if any vampire held me now with the lightest of touch, I would instantly break.
None of us are healthy and Milo is extremely worried I won't make it through another harsh winter. I tell him I'm a tough cookie (I silently add that I have dealt with vampires) and that I can handle anything you throw at me, but who am I kidding?
Vampires told me I didn't belong in the human world as I was meant for theirs.
Other vampires told me I was meant for the human world and not meant for theirs.
I am homeless and I feel like I don't belong in this world.
I'll never know which world I belong in.
Like the personal sun bit? I did :D
I know there wasn't any real dialogue but I felt that this was needed in order for the nest phase to begin. Bella has become numb. Not a happy thing but required for my story.
