So this story is probably going to be about eight chapters. If you're enjoying it, let me know! Reviews make me write faster. ;) Happy Scorpion day!
He loved her.
The way he looked at her when he was half-carrying her out of the stadium confirmed it. She supposed it wasn't much different than any other time she had been injured on a mission, but now that she'd heard the words, now that she knew he could name and accept that feeling, Paige saw it written all over his face.
She traced her finger along the edge of her sling. Walter's shirt had been replaced with a real one while the team sat patiently in the waiting room, even though she insisted they didn't all need to be there. The doctor commended Walter's treatment of her shoulder, but the genius merely grunted his acknowledgement, hardly making eye contact with her or anyone else. Today had just been too much. He was overwhelmed—by the case, by her fall, by his own nearly fatal experience, she wasn't sure. Maybe all of it. Paige sent Toby and Happy to pick up Ralph and keep him occupied for the evening, and alternated between resting and filling out forms—her right hand was still functional, after all—for a few hours to give Walter time to unwind.
Paige brewed coffee for them, sprinkling cinnamon into the pot. She wasn't sure, after all this time, if Walter actually enjoyed the taste or had merely adapted to it. Her waitressing talents came into play as she balanced both handles in one hand and walked slowly up the stairs to avoid spilling the liquid on herself.
A smile tugged at her lips as she approached the doorway, her presence unnoticed. Ferret Bueller was curled up on Walter's shoulder, nose pressed into his neck, as the genius flipped through a book about robotics. The animal was chattering softly in his sleep and Walter seemed unperturbed by the noise, almost calmed by it.
"Hey," she said quietly so as not to startle him.
"Paige?" He ducked away from the ferret, who immediately protested, and hurried to meet her at the door, taking both cups from her. "You shouldn't overtax your other arm. Too much activity will strain your muscles."
"I'll be careful." Her tone was light, but his concern secretly touched her. No matter how tense things were between them, no matter how much they struggled to understand each other, Walter never failed to look after her physical safety. He was always protecting her, and when the situation arose, she hadn't hesitated to do the same for him. "Are you busy?"
He obviously wasn't, but she still felt a little relieved when he shook his head.
"Then maybe we can talk. I, uh, I promised we would." Paige offered him a weak smile and pointed to her sling. "And I think you earned as much."
Walter's eyes darkened instantly and he turned away from her, leaning down to rest the blue mugs on the table near where he'd been sitting. "I'm the reason you got hurt."
"Actually, corrupt contractors and a massive inspection scheme are the reason I got hurt," she joked to lighten the mood, but the genius was unamused. For someone who regularly risked himself to protect others, he sure hated having someone return the favor. Especially her. "Just this once, Walter, let yourself off the hook. I'm okay."
His lips remained pressed in a tight line, but he nodded and returned to the couch, motioning for her to sit down. She joined him and for several long minutes, they drank coffee in silence.
"It didn't used to be this hard for us to talk," Paige murmured, tracing her finger around the rim of her cup as it balanced on her lap. "I used to know exactly what to say to you."
Walter glanced sideways at her before staring back down at his hands. "I don't think the same was true for me."
The liaison huffed out a laugh and he eased slightly. He wasn't quite smiling, but it was close. She couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled around her.
They had problems, and they were going to keep blowing up at each other until those issues were resolved, but for the life of her, Paige wasn't sure where to start. The conversation lapsed again, the quiet punctuated only by Ferret Bueller's sounds of contentment as he burrowed between the couch and Walter's back.
Paige was surprised when the genius spoke. "I don't trust many people," he said seriously, though it wasn't exactly a mind-blowing revelation. "I need us to be friends again. Please. Whatever t-that takes, I'll do it."
It was the please that made her feel like she was going to shatter. She pushed the cup away and angled herself on the couch to face him, wincing as her bad arm shifted and she jolted from the pain. Concern filled his eyes but she held up her hand to signify that she was okay before drawing in a deep breath. "Walter, I know I…I've snapped at you, and I know I threatened to end our friendship, but that isn't what I want. I was angry and frustrated, and in some ways I still am, but that doesn't overshadow everything you've done for me and Ralph. It doesn't change the fact that you're important to me."
She saw Walter stiffen and knew her words had triggered the same memory in his mind. The day she'd come so close to losing him. Think about…how important you are to me.
If Cabe hadn't interrupted, then, things may have been very different.
"Ralph said I don't understand the team like I used to," Paige said in a rush, realizing that if she didn't keep talking, she might be tempted to finish what she'd started that night. "Sometimes I forget. That you think differently and you'll never really act the way I expect you to. But it's my job to understand. I know I don't always get it right, but I am trying."
His gaze was too strong and she looked away, unable to meet it, but there was noticeably less strain in his voice when he said, "Most people don't try as hard as you did."
"Most people don't realize it's worth it," Paige replied with a soft smile. Suddenly a little restless, she dropped her fingers to her knee and traced a circular pattern on her jeans, still not looking up. "I didn't mean everything I said in the desert. At least not the way I said it. But I wasn't lying when I said there's nothing wrong with who you are. Any of you."
"Thank you," he muttered faintly. "T-Though I don't know if I agree with you. I badly mishandled the situation with Tim. I hurt you."
Paige hesitated, considering her next words. This was a sore subject and she didn't want to put up the wall between them again. "Yes," she finally admitted, figuring she'd already blurted it out once and there was no point in avoiding the truth of it now. "I'm hurt that you went behind my back. I'm hurt that you sabotaged me when you could have just talked to me about what was bothering you. I would have listened."
Walter dropped his head forward into his hands, running them through his hair and leaving them clasped at the base of his neck. He looked tired. She knew this conversation was draining him, but they couldn't put it off any longer or they'd kill each other. "Paige?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you and Tim break up?" She froze, startled by the question, and he sighed, meeting her eyes straight on. "If it's not my right to know, I understand. But you said it was for Ralph and I just want to make sure that…t-that Tim didn't do anything…"
"No!" Paige answered quickly, imagining what terrible scenarios Walter could be conjuring. She wondered how long he'd been concerned. "No. Tim was good to Ralph. It was…" The liaison paused. Walter was right; he had no claim to this information, but his concern for the young genius struck a familiar chord in her. "Like I said, um, Ralph felt that I didn't understand or…or enjoy being around you guys anymore. He was including himself in that. Something about my relationship with Tim made me view things differently. And I've already fought so hard to connect with my son. I couldn't stand the idea of Ralph thinking that I don't want him to be different. That I don't love him for everything he is. So I did what I had to."
Walter was quiet for a long time, absorbing her answer. "And are you really…fine?"
Fine. The exact word she'd used in the desert. The same word she always gave Walter hell for. "Yes. The timing was just off, I guess."
Maybe if I'd met him four years ago.
Paige didn't really miss Tim, per se. But she still thought about him, frequently, because their breakup made her wonder if she would ever move on. If she was capable of it. Was Veronica right, and she wasn't cut out for a normal relationship? Maybe she wasn't cut out for any relationship. Maybe taking care of Ralph was supposed to be her only focus.
She tamped down her thoughts and turned her attention back to Walter. "I don't want to keep rehashing the same things. We've both messed up and we're both sorry." He nodded hastily, seeming relieved not to have to stumble through a formal apology. "We had something great. You, me, and Ralph. Before we complicated it. So I think we should just go back to that and let go of everything else."
The liaison almost chuckled when she realized how much she sounded like Walter. Everything moved smoothly when they were friends. Colleagues. They worked together, mentored Ralph together, confided in and relied on each other. And then their feelings ruined everything.
She'd never truly subscribed to his belief that romantic relationships among the team were a mistake. But she was starting to see the wisdom in it now, when they were at each other's throats constantly.
Walter met her eyes, his face impassive. "Is that what you want?"
Paige knew what he was asking.
Of course it's not.
She wanted so much more than his friendship. But every time they got close, they destroyed each other. She couldn't let that happen again. Maybe they were sacrificing something great for something good, but it was better than losing the good altogether.
Paige reached out to rest her hand over his. They'd both received comfort from the gesture before, and that was all she meant it to be. But when Walter flipped his palm and wrapped his fingers around hers, tentatively drifting them over her skin, the sensation that seared through her was anything but comforting.
She slid out of his grasp, averting her eyes so she wouldn't see his reaction, and stood up, leaving her coffee abandoned on the table. "I'll see you in the morning, Walter."
"More peanut butter, please."
Walter paused, knitting his eyebrows. "You're not watching me. How do you know how much peanut butter I'm using?"
Ralph caught the tennis ball he was throwing as it ricocheted off the wall and bounced back to him. "You never use enough. Your ratio of peanut butter to jelly is off-putting."
"Noted." Walter smirked and dipped the knife back into the jar of peanut butter, slathering the extra on two pieces of wheat bread. Now that he and Paige had reached a truce, he was more comfortable offering to watch Ralph when she had other obligations. It was hardly a chore. Walter was fascinated and often a bit humbled by the young genius.
He handed the plate to Ralph and took the tennis ball in exchange, dropping down onto the couch and launching it toward the brick wall. Walter found the activity to be effective stress relief, with minimal injury and property damage.
"Better," Ralph mumbled as he wiped a spot of jelly off his lips with a napkin. "You fixed it."
"The sandwich?"
"No. Whatever was going on with you and my mom." Walter smiled, long accustomed to Ralph's sudden changes in thought. The young genius brushed crumbs off his hand onto the plate. "She doesn't seem mad at you anymore."
Paige still wasn't quite as…comfortable as she'd been around him in the past. Walter knew there was more to work through. But the tension between them was dissipating every day.
He hated that Ralph had ever been stuck in the middle of it, though.
"Yeah. We hit a rough patch. But…" Walter searched for something reassuring to say. "But we'll always be a team. You, me, and your mom."
Ralph rolled his eyes. "Until the next Tim comes along."
Walter tensed. He'd barely recovered from the first Tim, and he certainly had not been thinking about the next man that Paige would bring to the garage. But he was now, and the idea was…unpleasant. "W-Whatever your mom chooses to do in her personal life, I know she'll make sure you're happy with it. That's the most important thing to her."
The boy picked at his sandwich, letting sections of crust fall randomly. "We're good as a team but we could be more. That's what you want, isn't it?"
Of course it is.
Ralph had never been shy about his desire for the three of them to be a family. And Walter wanted that too. God, he wanted that. But Paige was clear that their boundaries ended at friendship and he needed to respect her decision. He'd lost his chance at anything else years ago.
"We are more, Ralph. No matter what happens, y-you and I are family. You know that, right?"
There was no hesitation in his statement. He had known it was true from the day he met Ralph. The way he and the young genius connected went far beyond any family connection he'd known, even beyond what he had with Megan.
"I know," Ralph sighed, sounding a little petulant though Walter could tell he meant it. "Just like I know that my dad and I are family, and my mom and I are family. But we're not a family together." He glanced over at his mentor. "That's not what I want with you."
Walter tried to control his shaky breathing. He didn't want Ralph to see how much those words affected him.
A family. Together.
For thirty years, Walter was adamant that wasn't what he wanted from life. Maybe if he'd accepted his feelings earlier, he would already have it. "I'm such a moron," he muttered under his breath.
"Yep." Walter frowned and Ralph shrugged, taking another bite of his sandwich. "What? I'm agreeing with you."
