I woke up later, in a bed in the passenger's hospital. I sat up quickly as soon as I realised where I was, but I immediately felt dizzy and nauseous. A doctor hurried over and gently laid me back down.
"There, just stay still," he said in a soft Scottish accent. It all came back to me – Will was gone. I burst into tears.
He couldn't be gone – he had promised me that he would meet me later. He had to – I couldn't go to New York on my own! I needed him!
I must have drifted off again, because I woke up again a while later, to see Lights sitting beside my bed.
"Lights..."
"It's alright, Ada," he smiled softly. "I just wanted to make sure that you were alright. You have a bit of a fever."
"Where's Will?" My eyes brimmed with tears again.
"I'm sorry, Ada. He isn't on this ship."
"But he must be..." my voice was barely a whisper. "He told me..."
He simply shook his head, lowering his gaze as he did. I stared at him in disbelief.
"You're lying!"
At that moment, Harry Lowe walked in. He looked straight at me, before fixing his gaze onto Lights.
"Have you told her yet?"
Lights sprang out of his seat. "Shut up, Harry."
"You need -" Harry was cut off as Lights pulled him to one side. I strained my ears to hear the rest of the conversation.
"...why haven't you told her?"
"I gave my word, Harry. I know you weren't there at the time but I really think you ought to do as I say before you ruin everything."
"Ruin what?" Harry snapped, but Lights did not respond. He looked at me, then pulled Harry outside, leaving me alone.
I sat and thought over everything for a few moments, then made a decision. I didn't want to remain in bed, I wanted to go out and find a list. There had to be a list of survivors – there had been one when my sister found out the fate of our parents. I had no idea what to do after I found the list. It depended on what news it contained. I clambered out of bed and picked up my belongings – someone had removed both my coat and Will's coat when they put me into the bed. My lifebelt was gone, but I didn't mind that so much.
I took in a deep breath and walked outside. The day was miserable and grey, and I had no idea what time it was – or, for that matter, what day it was. There were people everywhere, but no one I recognised. That was a blessing at least – I didn't want to run into Molly or anyone who might start smothering me. I stopped and looked down onto the deck below, when I heard someone behind me cough. I turned to see a young officer holding a sheet of paper and pen.
"Excuse me, miss, have you given your name as a survivor?"
"I...I don't know. I've been in the hospital..."
"What is your name, miss? We'll see if it's on here."
"Ada Banks..."
He nodded, tapping the sheet with his pen. "Yes, your name is down here. First class passenger, yes? A friend of yours must have informed us already."
He turned to leave, but I grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry, do you have a list of surviving crew?"
"We do," he said, eyeing me warily. "What name?"
"William Murdoch? He was the...first officer."
He scanned his list, then shook his head. "I'm sorry, miss."
I suddenly remembered Jim Moody. I had not seen him yet, and...well, he might be of some help with coming to terms with what had happened. "What about James Moody?"
After another look, he shook his head again. My eyes widened. It couldn't be true – my Will and my friend Jim? Both lost? I could feel my eyes filling with tears again, and the officer looked taken aback.
"I am very, very sorry for the loss, miss."
I nodded slowly, smiling gratefully. He turned and walked away and I found myself wandering around the decks aimlessly. I had nowhere to go. I was alone in the world. I turned a corner, and bumped straight into someone – Harry Lowe. He jumped then looked at me in surprise.
"Why are you out here? You should be resting!"
"Jim's gone too!" I whispered.
He raised his right eyebrow, and I noted the lack of surprise. Obviously he already knew that. He pulled me into an embrace.
"Harry...what did you want Lights to tell me earlier?" I wanted to push the memory of Will out of my mind.
He pulled away slightly, looking down at me with a confused expression on his face. Something seemed to dawn on him, and he shook his head.
"It was nothing..er..nothing."
Lights walked up to us, glaring at Harry. "You didn't...?"
Harry shook his head. "I just said it was nothing."
"And he is right," Lights turned to me. "Absolutely nothing."
I didn't believe a word of it, but I knew there was no way that I could get Harry to tell me while Lights was around.
"Now, Ada, I think you need to rest. You look terrible."
"I have nowhere to go now..." I felt tears fill my eyes.
"Don't be silly, I promised Will I would look out for you!" He embraced me again. "Remember that night I promised him that, but I didn't completely follow through with it? I don't intend to let anything like that happen again. You're staying with me until we get back to England."
