"What's your parents like dear?" Linda asked Emma, having lunch with her while Sean was out doing God Knows What.
Emma sadly watched Linda taking her morning pills with her cup of tea and she then sighed, looking up, "Well.. they're.." she looked for a word, "Good."
"good?" teased Linda, glancing up.
"My real dad's in a mental hospital." Emma said, upfront, wanting to get it over with.
Linda didn't even judge her, nor pity her, "And your mother?"
Emma smiled softly. Linda was..so amazing. "My mothers great, had me all on her own since she was a teenager. Strongest woman I know."
"Did she meet another man?"
Emma tapped her fingers on her mug and saddened as she nodded.
Linda softened, "honey, I'm sorry.. is everything okay?"
Emma smiled sadly, "It's fine." she shook her head and tried to laugh it off, "Yea, she married again." she explained then leaned back.
Linda could sense something was still wrong and put her hand on Emma's, "Talk to me. It'll help."
Emma bit her lip but sat back up, bracing herself to talk about it...she barely did, "Snake, that's my step Dad... he's like a father to me. He's really the greatest man I've ever known as well."
"That sounds nice." Linda smiled.
Emma nodded, "It was. Is, I mean.. he's still around but it's just..he cheated on my mom before with my old principle. They got back together, but I guess my mom hadn't really forgiven him deep down? Two years ago, she met someone else and now she's living with him in Alberta. My brother, I barely see him. He's about 6 now. I mean, I do go up as much as I can but.." Emma cringed, "I couldn't go with them, cause I had plans to go back to school." Emma couldn't stop the tears, "I thought she would of stayed with Snake forever."
Linda's mouth fell, "Ohhoney..." she gave her such a look of pity, "That's.. I'm so sorry. Affairs are a hard thing to get through.." she stared off.
Emma tilted her head, wondering if Linda and her old husband went through that or something? She then nodded sadly and took a deep breath.
Linda saw her tap her fingers on her mug again... must of been a sad habit. She wondered if Emma was thinking about her future now with stuff like cheating and affairs-
"He would never do that to you." Linda promised with everything in her.
Emma darted her eyes to hers, startle like.
Linda shook her head, "Sean has never been a fan of people being unfaithful. You have my word." she squeezed Emma's hand again, "and he's so in love with you sweetie that he is not going anywhere. There won't be any other girls with him as long as he's with you."
Emma bursted into tears, and wish she hadn't, putting her head into her hands and Linda hugged her. If only Linda understood that there was another girl.. .actually she was the other girl. She didn't think Victoria would be so happy if she found out some other girl was pretending to be her boyfriends fiance.
"Stop that crying." Linda pulled away and whiped her tears, "You're too pretty."
Emma choked on her laugh and tears, going red and feeling embarrassed. She looked up, feeling helpless to the love she had for Sean. She almost felt sick. Linda gave her a look, like she understood everything she was feeling.
"Love is hard," Linda pointed out, "But it's also the most amazing thing you could ever do and share with somebody." she took Emma's finger with the ring on it, in her hands, "and you have it. Geez, do you two have it. The way he looks at you, and you at him-"
Emma shut her eyes, fighting her tears and shook her head no. It couldn't be true, cause it was all just a lie.
"I-I gotta go." Emma insisted, standing up and dropping her hands out of Lindas
Linda looked shocked before she called after her, "You have that love story we all wish we had!"
Emma stopped in her tracks, put didn't turn. Tears went down her cheeks and she just sniffed and nodded back to his mom before she ran back to Sean's room.
When Sean got home, it was around dinner time, and as he walked in only his mother was at the table, playing solitaire by himself.
"Hey." he kissed the top of her head and went to the fridge for a water bottle.
Linda eyed him and squinted her eyes, "Have you started planning the wedding yet with Emma?" she asked, startling him a bit.
Sean frowned before he turned and stiffed a nod, "Ofcourse." he muttered and coughed slightly.
Her eyes gave him that 'don't fuck with me' look. She barely gave anyone these looks so when she did, you really shouldn't piss her off.
"We..." Sean drifted off awkwardly, "Will."
Linda sat up and pointed at the chair across from him, he scoffed but sat down. Jesus, this little woman could intimidate even him..reminded him of Emma too.
"Emma's very upset today." she told him honestly.
Sean's mouth fell, his head slowly turning to look at his room. Was she in there? Was she okay? What was wrong?... .so many questions ran through his head and his stomach turned at the thought of her not being okay
Linda softened, seeing the worry on Sean's face, "I think it's maybe because you haven't planned much wedding things. The girl has waited this long for you, Sean, get movin'."
"Mom." he saidannoyed, wishing he could explain but couldn't so huffed, "I haven't even bought a house yet. And then there's..." he said quieter, "you."
"Don't worry about little old me, boy." she taunted him, raising an angry eyebrow and pointed at the room Emma was in, "You want that girl?"
Sean snickered bitterly but nodded and his eyes widened a bit as he thought just how much he wanted her. He stared down at his hands sadly.
"Then you give her your everything." she told him. She caught his eyes, he seemed like he had really taken that to heart.
His mom was right. He had to first find out though if Emma even wanted him back, but if she did, he really would do anything for them to be 'Sean and Emma' again.
She leaned back in her chair, seeing that seemed to slap Sean out of it, "Now.." she drifted off, "what are you gonna do about her parents and stuff for the wedding? Will you fly her mother down?"
Sean gave a confused look and shrugged, "Spike can just drive, Mom." Wasaga to Toronto was only a few hours. Geez, Sean resisted rolling his eyes. He was even actually THINKING about plans for a non existent wedding..
Lindas eyes widened, "That is not how you'll treat your soon to be mother in law. Alberta is far Sean!"
"Alberta?" Seans eyes darted around in confusion. Spike, was in Alberta? But Snake was.. . .. .
Linda went on, not noticing Sean's confusion, "and what about Emma's step dad? I'm sure it'll be a littleawkward with the two bth in the wedding since now divorced but Emma says she's still pretty close to him."
Sean was baffled, trying to take this all in but couldn't. .. Spike and Snake were divorced? When did that even happen!? He...what.. .when... . .but-
Emma jumped a bit when the door of Sean's room slammed open and shut. She gave Sean a look of insanity from sitting on the floor and went back to painting her toe nails.
"rough day?" she joked, finishing up her last toe.
Sean stood there, outraged. He walked around her so she'd looked back up at him, which she did in confusion when he looked angry at her.
"Why didn't you tell me about Spike and Snake, huh?" his anger rose and he tried to keep it down, glancing at his door and hoping his mom didn't hear him yelling.
"Wha.." Emma then shut her mouth, Linda must of told him. Crap. Oh, she must of caught him off guard, damn they were supposed to be 'engaged' and know 'everything about another' he probably looked clueless! "I'm sorry. I should of told you in case she brought it up and asked or something. Did you mess up infront of her?"
"I mean in general Emma, how could you not tell me that?" he shook his head in disbelief, "This isn't about this whole fake engagement thing. I can't believe you didn't say anything" he looked at her betrayed like.
Emma's mouth picked up when she became angry and closed her nail polish,"Sean you didn't even call or write a note that your father had died."
Sean was a bit taken back, stepping back as she stood up and gave him a look.
"It's different." he muttered, looking down sadly now.
Emma softened, knowing that was a sore spot but had to ask, "how? It was just a divorce." but even as she said it, she saddened.
"It's your family" Sean stepped forward, closer, "A family I knew and.." he stared off in disbelief then sat on the bed with such a look of misery, "I can't believe it."
Emma looked down but nodded and shrugged as she looked back at him, "Nobody believed it at first." she went and sat beside him, bending her legs under her and mumbled, "Manny was even pretty upset."
"And you?" Sean asked, turning his head.
Emma was a bit stunned, seeing such worry on his face and in his eyes just for her. She then tried to think nothing of it, they were just good friends now right?
She looked down and confessed, "It sucked a lot. I dumped a guy I was seeing cause.. if Snake and Spike couldn't make it, who could?" she shared a small smirk with Sean.
Sean tried to feel bad for her, but he didn't mind the fact she had dumped some stupid guy. She could dump plenty and he still couldn't feel bad for her.. he'd always feel that happy dance playing in his heart if he knew Emma had no other guys' hands on her.
Emma tried to lighten the mood, snickering a little, "She's with some younger guy whose only 32 and a bartender. His name is even Chad."
Sean tried not to smile and gave Emma a playful look, "I'm sure she's happy.. " he said for the best.. he always liked Spike. Snake would always be a father figure to him too and he felt upset they lost their romance but, whats done is done I guess... he knew how that felt...
Emma cringed, "Is it horrible that I wished for a while that she wasn't?"
Sean stopped smiling and eyed Emma, "I'm sure you don't really mean that Em."
Emma gave him a look of guilt, "I did. Snake was so hurt when she left, Sean. I remember that look on his face was the same look she had when he moved out back in highschool, after his affair. It was like the face of meeting death or something."
Sean stared off, being able to relate with that. With Emma not in his life, he felt broken, empty...nothing.
Emma went on, "He was so broken, like she was.. I remember I lost all control back then the first time they had issues, which led to my body issues so I didn't want to do that to myself again.."
Sean softened, watching her as she explained this to him. He was more than happy she didn't go back to that or punish herself.
"..and I didn't want try to make her stay like I had tried to do with Snake too. . so the only thing I could think of was to hope there was some way the one who was ripping the family apart again was punished for it." her eyes went cold, remembering how horrible that was of her to think and she finally looked at Sean with such weakness, "... I wished something bad would of happened to my mother." she seemed disgusted with herself, "What kinda person does that..."
Sean watched her stare off and try to keep that tear on the corner of her eye from slipping. How badly he wanted to wipe it away. .whisper things to her like he use to, to make it all alright.
"People have bad thoughts now and then, Em." Sean told her, "Out of anger, you have no idea what worse things people can think of"
"Like what?" she muttered, not believing good people should have bad thoughts. She always knew she wasn't perfect, despite what she tried to make people think, but she never thought she was THIS cruel. It made her feel terrible.
"You don't think I ever thought about hurting my dad when he hurt my mom?" Sean asked and Emma stopped, and looked at him. He nodded, a bit of regret in his eyes but just trying to explain to her that she wasn't horrible, only human.
"That's different," Emma whispered and looked down, "That's excusable."
"Alright..." Sean looked up in wonder for another time he had bad thoughts, "Fine," he coughed awkwardly and sat up more in the bed and she turned a bit to him when he did, "Remember when I went to jail?"
Emma winced a bit but nodded, smiling sadly to Sean who sheepishly grinned back.
"I had thoughts about .. maybe..strangling Peter Stone to death when I was out." he confessed and smirked a bit.
Emma couldn't help but smile, and then rolled her eyes, "That doesn't count either. I would wanna strangle him too. That accident wasn't only you involved, and he egged you on, and he kept acting like such a jerk even afterwards while you were behind bars, and he got ' a slap on the wrist'." Emma remembered exactly what Jay had said too about it.
She couldn't agree more. She was such an idiot back then looked up in wonder, wondering why she EVER dated that little devil spawn Peter.
Sean looked at her seriously, and licked his lips nervously, "That wasn't why I wanted to strangle him.."
Emma paused, confused.
He gave her a look like she couldn't be this stupid, and chuckled a bit awkwardly. Jesus, she was going to make him say it.
"Emma, I was jealous." he bluntly confirmed.
Emma's heart stopped. Oh. OH! Of her with Peter. She blinked and then blushed madly, trying to look down so he couldn't see and played with her other hand. Right.. but only back then, not anymore. ... he wouldn't ever be jealous ever again. That made her heart fall.
She tried to move on before she looked obvious, "Keyword: was. We were young, still in highschool.. I should know better not to think so cruelly, especially about my family."
"Hurt can cause alotta pain." he shrugged, eyeing her and still nervous from what he had just admitted to her, but it didn't seem to phase her. That made his chest cave in.
Did him and Emma have any hope?
"Yea.. it can.." Emma drifted off, remembering how empty she felt every time her and Sean would fight or break up.. . and the last time? When she realised just how done they were, she was shattered, in bits.. destroyed.
They both sat there sadly. Wow... what an awful night.. onto a better note!
Sean coughed to change the mood with a happier tone of voice, "Tylers throwing a party tomorrow. You wanna go?"
"Tyler as in.." she smiled a bit, eyeing him suspiciously.
He nodded, smirk turning into a wide grin "Tyler Bishop, yeah, guy I deafened in the ear when I was 12. ."
Emma smiled sadly but nodded, remembering. She was glad they turned into friends.. geez, little Sean was such a trouble maker.
"We became pretty good friends when I went back to Wasaga after the.." him and Emma shared a look, "the shooting.." he noted.
Back when him and Emma got back together when he came back to Degrassi, he remembered them being able to finally talk about it, the shooting, especially if him or Emma had a nightmare, it was usually her but when he had his nightmares, his were pretty bad too, always different ways of Rick possibly finishing what he wanted to do to Emma... Sean wouldn't get an ounce of sleep until Emma did a ton of reassuring that everything was ok. It got easier after a few months, and when they would bring up the shooting they would get better and better at bringing it up, until Emma would even giggle when Sean felt prouder each time he was able to say 'shooting' without struggling or any fear in his eyes.
Wow. .. . how far they've come.
Him and Emma still shared that smile until Sean went on, "And I even stayed in touch with Tyler when I went back . . and when I visited home from the army, I even went into his work to see him. Guess you could say we're pals." he joked, and teased, "After all, he kinda did save my life before.."
Emma raised her eyebrows, oh right! That. "Your little stunt on the sea-do?"
He shrugged guilty like. Yea. . that was a bad day...but also one he cherished, that was also the day him and Emma finally let everything between them go and he got to say sorry for everything, everything.
Emma gave him a smile that made his knees weak, thank god he was sitting down, "If I remember right, he may of pulled you out of the water... but for being a life guard? He didn't even know CPR."
Sean smirked, knowing exactly who was the one to do that for him that day. Her.
"I'd say *I* was the hero that day." she smirked playfully, leaning back a bit on his bed with her arms leaning her up and bit her lower lip from giggling at his priceless face.
"That so?" Sean couldn't help but smile and shake his head, "Yea," he looked back at her, smile fading, "guess you did, didn't you?" his eyes locked into hers, and she watched his eyes scan down from her eyes softly, then to her mouth hungrily. He use to get so turned on when she bit her lip, or did anything with her mouth (which wasn't shocking).
Emma got up, a little startled, and Sean sat up, staring a head in shock. Was he ACTUALLY going to just kiss her?
Sean's heart pounded. . .oh fuck oh shit, did she know?
"Anyways," Emma fixed her hair nervously and pointed out the door, "I told Manny I'd call her so..." she swallowed hard and just raced out thedoor.
Sean sat there and shut his eyes, "Fuck." he cursed in a whisper and punched the beg before lying back on it and putting his arms behind his head.
He had no idea what Victoria was planning for Tyler's party, but it better be good, cause the ache in Sean for Emma was getting worse and worse
