PLEASE READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE, IT WILL MAKE THE STORY LESS CONFUSING!!!!

A/N: hello, lostindakness here, this is my first fanfic, I'm open to criticism, you can do flames if you want; everyone's a critic. But anyway in the beginning the story probably won't make sense until later on in the story. So to clear it up here's some stuff that will make this less confusing without giving the plot away.

1) Land has shifted by the year 2158 that NA (north America) is connected to Europe and SA (south America) is connected to Africa (I'm lucky they fit together like puzzle pieces learned this in history last year). There's no Atlantic Ocean anymore since the land moved to where it used to be. The land is divided into three divisions Western, Eastern, and Central.

2) Bella is 168 years old. But looks 19.

3)She hasn't seen the Cullen's since they left, since Edward decided it would be better for them not to see each other and left Bella to live a human life.

4) This story takes place in the beginning of New Moon when Edward leaves Bella to "protect her" and let her live a "normal HUMAN life". One year goes by before she is given the bite of eternity (throughout the story the memories from the year she was human and most vulnerable unveil themselves), 151 years go by. Bella lives in Northern Central (NC). A coven of vampires moves into her territory, they seem so familiar to her like a far off dream that you can't get a hold of. With the coven of vampires comes memories that were thought long forgotten (will be explained in story why the memories were lost).

5) Bella is the leader of one of the NC werewolf packs except Bella is different in many ways from the other pack leaders in the NC. One, she is a hybrid. Two, she is the only one of her kind which will be explained in the story. Three, her pack is all guys, 11 total, she is the only girl and she is the alpha werewolf in the pack. And four, she is the only girl alpha werewolf in the world.

6) When he or him is italic its Edward, it's just Bella has some problems with his name. Also when them or they is italic it's the Cullen's, Bella has problems remembering all of their names, too. She also has problems with mostly everyone in her past before she was turned (will be very detailed in the story). When Bella or anyone else says Edward's name in this chapter it will appear like this: or if it's Edward's full name it will be like this:

7) Bella is never called Bella because there is a LARGE bounty for her to be captured and brought back to the Volturi, so she is mostly known as Stella (as always will be better explained in the story)

That is pretty much all you will need to know to not get that confused in the beginning of the story, but if you get confused just ask me about it and I will explain it to you. Sorry this is VERY, VERY long author note but I didn't want you guys getting confused about all of this. Trust me the rest of my author notes will be much shorter than this one.

DISCLAIMER: All characters from Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer

Summary

All my life I've lived for someone else but when you no longer have anyone to live for and an eternity to live who do you turn to? The Volturi? Or do the one thing you thought impossible, living for yourself and somehow finding your way in life….

Chapter 1 time still moves on but can I?

Bella's POV

Hello my name is Isabella Swan, better known as Stella. The year is 2158, I live in the central land where Atlantic Ocean once was, I'm not who people think I am, more or less human. I was once but that changed, either with the blood transfusion or when I was bitten and given the "gift" of eternal life and beauty. I remember the day I was bitten so well it seems like it only happened yesterday not 151 years ago. I'm going to enlighten you on what happened that night, I haven't seen them since.

It was a cold night that night but to me it was warm, it had been a year since he left and left me heartbroken, wounded, and vulnerable. When someone is left like that anything could happen to them, either good or bad, something happens, and knowing me it was bad.

He was my down fall, he was the reason I was the walking wounded, he also was the one that destroyed my purpose of living and everything I hold dear. I saw they came back but not for me, he told me not to follow them to where ever they were going; he told me a lot of things that day. He broke my heart and wounded me so deeply, that it made it hurt just to think about him, to hear someone mention or talk about him, or to see or touch something that reminded me of him. But I needed to see him, I needed to hear his voice and me being the fool I was, I followed them holding on to the shred of hope I had left, that maybe they came back for me. I couldn't let him leave me, I knew he loved me, he had to; he couldn't have acted the whole time he was with me! Could he? I remember him once saying he was a good actor, I guessed this proved it.

But following them that day was another idiotic mistake to be added onto the never ending list of mistakes I've made in that year. He told me not to follow him when he and his family left actually he told me never ever to follow them again, maybe if I would have listened, I would be dead right now, it would be better then living at this point, but back to the story.

I kept pretty far behind; I couldn't let them know I was following them.

What really made me confuse was I saw the pixie girl (Alice) and her mate (Jasper) but for some odd reason they didn't notice me or acknowledge that I still lived in Forks at the time. I didn't see him (Edward), the beautiful blond (Rosalie), her mate (Emmett), the mother (Esme), or the father (Carlisle) of the coven.

When I saw they went into the forest close to town, I realized that they were here because of something, or someone. Maybe Alice had a vision of Victoria showing up or maybe just maybe to check up on me, a sudden wave of hope washed over me but I immediately killed it before I got my hopes up. But something besides the Cullen family was drawing me to go into the forest that night.

Curiosity got the best of me that night and the phrase "curiosity killed the cat" comes to mind every time I remember that night. At least this was the last night I had to see them, at least that is the only memory I can remember with them in it the rest are just a blur, especially the ones with him in it. I wish I could remember his name, his voice, his scent…but after I was turned the memories with them in them are just a blur, especially the ones with him in them. Sometimes the memories become a little clearer but as fast as they started to clear up, they become blurry again. I sometimes find myself happy they are a blur; they are kind of like dreams, like they're not real.

When the memories with them in it became a blur the pain subsided, like pain killer, but like all pain killers it wore off and the pain comes in waves of pain when I try to think about them or him. I understand why, but the answer I know is true is not the answer I want to hear. The answer I want to hear is "You love him too much to make him suffer, what he wants, is what you want, get it?" The real answer is "He left you, he destroyed you, and he couldn't care less about you. Why else would he leave, he didn't want to put up with you anymore, you were just a toy to him nothing more, listen now and listen good….HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!! That's why you can't remember his name, the pain, the heartache, the agony it's too much that's why you can't remember his name, that's why you are what you are today!" I like the first one better but what I want isn't always what I get.

Now where was I……Oh yea…

I remember all the animals were already very skittish before they went into the forest; well most of them had entered the woods. Actually the animals had been very skittish for a while before they came, about 2 weeks or so. The smell of the forest was different then how it usually was too. I couldn't pin point it at that time but now I know it was pines and gasoline mixed with burning pines, which is strange, right? I don't know how I didn't realize it then but I guess I was weak to the predator stalking me. The sky was different too, there wasn't a single star out that night and the moon was blood red. I was kind of worried about that but I couldn't let that keep me from him, so I ignored my feelings and my conscience. It was screaming at me to turn around and get the hell out of there but me being me, I was too stubborn, I mean I wasn't hurt. Yet.

The burning pines were a great distraction for them, with the help of the burning pines they couldn't smell me but I was spectacle at the time. I followed them for an hour until I lost them; I was amazed that I kept up with them for this long and this far without them finding out. I thought I lost them but then I heard a loud crack and a horrible yelp that scared me to death but then nothing. Until I heard the horrible sound of something feasting on whatever just died.

I ran and hid behind a tree, I looked to see who or what was there. When I looked I immediately wished I hadn't. There devouring a dead grizzly was the pixie girl's mate (Jasper). Helooked like a savage, like he hadn't eaten in days; almost like if he didn't eat quick someone would take away his dinner.

I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up and I realized why, the grizzly's blood, my eyes grew wide with realization. I couldn't take it anymore, the smell, and the sounds of him feasting on a grizzly, so I ran.

I felt like I was going to blackout, while I was so worked up about the blood situation I didn't realize where I was going. I just kept running not looking back also neglecting the amount of time that passed, and somehow I ended up at our meadow, mine and his. Whoever he was.

I wondered how long I ran for but I didn't have time to think about that for long because within the minute I got there someone stepped out from behind a tree. This man was very….hmmm how did I put it back then….ahhhh yes, I thought he was very hot when I first laid eyes on him.

He was tall about 6'5" at least, his skin was very pale like the Cullen's family, also his body was really built, and he had midnight black hair cut to the bottom of his nose, it was shaggy, pretty much skater. He was wearing casual clothes black baggy jeans, a black button down long sleeved shirt, and black boots on.

The three things that stood out the most were his necklace, appearance, and eyes. His necklace was a blood red ruby attached to a black chain and there was a black labyrinth like spiral pattern around the ruby, which was in the shape of a jagged heart. His appearance was familiar like someone I knew, then I realized his appearance looked like them (Cullen's). He looked like a super model, he was that gorgeous, and his features were like there's (Cullen's) too, all angular and such. Although every detail about him could lead to people thinking he was human, but his eyes gave him away, at least to me. His eyes were a blood red almost as deep of a blood red as the ruby around his neck and his eyes where the most unusual and beautiful eyes I've ever seen, even more beautiful than his eyesHe had little specks of electric blue in them which could be seen even at the faraway distance we were at, you could look into his eyes forever and maybe even lose yourself there. I sure know I was but I quickly shook my head to clear it.

There was silence between us which seemed like it would last forever and it was driving me crazy. The way he was looking at me like I was a prize he had just won and maybe considering the situation I was in, I was but I sure wasn't going to be the one to break the silence. Thankfully he did.

"Hello…." He paused to let me say hello.

"H-hi", I spoke.

"What is your name?" The stranger asked. "It's rude to ask someone their name without giving them your name first", I spoke strongly. I was surprised at how confident I was.

"Sorry, my name is….Bob and yours?" Bob spoke. "It's even ruder to lie" I spoke. I didn't really know that he was lying but something told me he was. "Whatever do you mean?" "Don't play innocent, it makes you seem untrustworthy……Your eyes give you away, you know. You should work on that before you lie to someone again." I spoke, where the hell was I getting this from. I personally, didn't think I put up that good of an argument, but I guess he thought I did and that was good enough for me.

"Perfect, you're very observant, you know. Thanks for the warning and my real name is Alphonse, now please your name." Alphonse said. "Isabella Swan, but call me Bella." I spoke. 'Why should I let him call me Bella' I wondered, 'hmmm I guess it's too late now.' I thought.

"Now, what do you want?" I spoke. Alphonse just gave me a simple smile and then in an instant he was standing right in front of me holding my throat and my back somehow got pressed against a tree, I didn't even realize what was happening but when I did I knew one thing. I was trapped.

"Bella what is your worst fear?" Alphonse asked. "My worst fear, what does that have to do with anything?" I said. "Just tell me your worst fear, now." he commanded. "Nothing" I said flatly. "Nothing, are you sure, it's not nice to lie you know." Alphonse spoke. "I never lied, my worst fear has already happened, he left me. Now I suppose, I fear nothing anymore and anyway I've gone through anything someone could throw at me that I could fear. Fear has lost its grip on me." I spoke as strong as I could with him gripping my throat. I couldn't even say his name back then, after he left me. How pathetic is that? Pretty pathetic if you ask me but anyway.

All he did was smile and say "You know what I am, don't you?" I nodded, jessh he kept changing the subject so fast it was ridiculous. "Have you ever heard of the legend of The Vampire Princess?" he asked. I shook my head no, "Tsk, tsk, tsk you think you would know your own destiny. Although your destiny cannot change, your future can. Bella, that's the reason I'm here, I'm here to fore fill my purpose and start a whole new future for you, the one denied you of." Alphonse said. God, what was his name!

(A/N just to let you know he said Edward but since Bella can't remember his name she can't remember what Alphonse said it was.)

I remember that one struck hard, a little too hard if you asked me, like a dagger to the heart. Why was I affected by his name so much back then, I mean it had been a year already. Oh, that's right; people kept graciously tearing open the whole in my chest time and time again in that one year. And reminding me of him and each time it made the huge hole in my chest just a little bigger. But now I patched up the gap in my chest and threw away the memories.

Even though I patched up the whole in my chest, I know if I remember his name it will tear open letting all the memories and pain spill out and take hold of me like it had that one year. The pain I will fell will be way worst then it was 151 years ago and the memories I will remember will torment me for eternity.

I still can't believe it is still here today. It's never gone away, never healed, never would, even if I lived for eternity, even if I met someone new, the hole where my heart used to be will always be there. And every time I try to remember him, I know the hole will reopen making it bigger than before, it will never go away and it will never leave me at peace.

Once I remember his name, I'll remember everything….every moment of happiness, love, hate, and….pain. Once I remember his name, my world will come crashing down on me. That's why I stopped trying to remember, he may have stolen my heart but he will never be able to control me like he tried to do by leaving me so long ago.

Anyway back to the story……

"What if I don't want it." I spoke just raising my voice a little. "Then to bad" he said as his lips moved closer to my neck. "They'll come, they'll save me, they won't let this happen to me! There in the forest right now, I saw them!! All I need to do is scream and they'll come!!!" I screamed, trying to convince him and me at the same time, but I sure as hell wasn't convinced. I knew they wouldn't come, those words popped back into my head, the ones he told me the day he left me so long ago, "It will be like I was never there." Alphonse interrupted my thoughts with booming laughs and with the next words he spoke I knew I was as good as dead. "My dear Bella those were hallucinations I made you see to lead you to me. They didn't come, but you did. I am a strong vampire, it's not surprising that you fell into my trap so easily. I'm sorry I can't stay with you to go through this ordeal, it's just too dangerous for me…" he paused. I didn't understand him at first but I did after the transformation was over. Alphonse continued after he took an unnecessary breath. "It's time you accepted your destiny, you escaped it once..." when he said that I immediately thought of James and how he bit me but he sucked it out to save me.

If he didn't love me, then why did he save me, maybe because he didn't want me to live for eternity, maybe he wanted me dead while he lived for eternity…..that was a possible theory it made sense, but the words kept playing over and over and over in my head, 'if he didn't love me, why did he save me.' And again Alphonse broke me out of my thoughts. "It's not going to happen again. This time isn't here to save you or delay your destiny any longer, he doesn't care anymore, but I do."

Right after he said this, he moved his mouth to be right next to my neck, he breathed on me and it sent shivers down my back. He kissed me on my neck and then immediately after bit me but did not suck in any blood, he just pulled his teeth out and moved his face so we were face to face staring at each other, then he moved his hands to my shoulders. He looked deep into my eyes and I with him and all I saw was that he was hurting because he had to leave me and he cared if I lived or died. He wanted to be my Romeo. He didn't want me to hurt because of the last person who I believed was my Romeo. For the first time since he left me I felt…loved.

His eyes were so intense, I could stare into them forever, he made me feel….safe, but him staring into my eyes at the same time made me feel intimidated and for the first time with a vampire, scared. Not even James scared me as much as Alphonse. Which made me pull my eyes away from his and stare at the ruby around his neck, even though I stopped looking into Alphonse's eyes I could feel him still staring into mine but I dare not look up into his.

Then, Alphonse took a handoff my shoulder, and a cold finger under my chin and lifts my head up so our eyes met and when I looked into his eyes this time there was no way of looking away now. It was like he had me under a spell and every second a little more of my will to pull away from him, to scream, to look away, to cringe in fear slipped away.

He broke the stare by leaning in and placing an ice cold kiss on my lips, he deepened the kiss and I kissed back. I was screaming at myself to stop but for some odd reason it felt right, me and him kissing, but still it wasn't right because I didn't know him, well I didn't know him know him; like for a few months or something like that.But maybe there was something more, like that love most people would kill for, like reach for the stars, hit the ball out of the ballpark, once in a life time kind of thing. And if it is that kind of thing it is way too soon to tell.

Alphonse moved his hand from my shoulder down my back and up again, causing me to wince. He moved the other one to my waist and he placed the other right next to my head on the tree and pressed his chest against mine which caused me to be pushed harder into the tree trunk behind me, at the same time I placed my hands on his chest. I winced again in pain from the bruises on my back from the last beating.

Then, I whimpered in pain as the fire started to course threw my veins, he pulled away reluctantly, at the same time he sighed. He paused as he took the necklace that was around his neck off and put it around my neck. "I am going to give you this necklace to remember me by…" he paused. "You know you are very dangerous to be around, you made me do the one thing I promised myself not to do. I think I'm in love with…" he trailed of but came back to earth in a second.

"It's time for me to take my leave but don't worry, we will meet again very soon…" he paused. "Goodbye MY Bella." He stole one last glance at me, one last time before he was gone like he was never there.

But the whole time he was saying that I was trying not to scream out in pain, trying to be strong in front of him, luckily I didn't but the second he was gone I let out an agonizing scream and fell to the meadow's floor, I could hear it echo off the mountains northwest from me. The first day of the transformation I screamed in agony, pain, and misery. At first, the veins that were near the bight felt like the blood coursing through them was on fire. Then, the fire spread threw out my body like wild fire that would burn for eternity. Even though I blacked out from the intensity of the pain, I knew I was still screaming and crying from the pain when I fell into pure darkness.

Second day came around, my blood still feels like the most untamed wild fire Mother Nature could throw at the environment and on top of that, my bones felt like they were starting to shatter into millions upon millions of pieces. It started in my feet and worked its way up, when my legs were all shattered it felt like the pieces of bone were sharp and jagged and were digging into my muscles. If I was able to look down at my legs I wouldn't be surprised to see pieces of bone sticking in all different directions underneath my skin.

Then came my hips, same thing happened to them as my legs. Then my arms gave way and shattered like my legs and hips. Once that was done my skull felt like it caved in and with that came an intense headache that felt like they were playing baseball and were using my head as the ball. The headache turned into an extreme migraine, it throbbed so much I barfed. Next my shoulder blades and spin shattered at the same time causing a chain reaction, finally my collar bones and ribs shattered. When my ribs shattered it made it hard to breathe like someone was sitting on my chest.

Once all my bones where shattered and turned into sharp jagged pieces it felt like the bones started to tear all my muscles, tendons, veins, and bone tissue from limb to limb. Once that was over the shattered jagged pieces of bone started shifting underneath my skin, I could feel the shattered jagged pieces of bone moving, it made uncomfortable in every way possible. They were putting themselves back together and making every bone perfect in every way possible, and the pain made me believe it. Right before the second day ended the muscle, tendons, veins, and nerves started snaking their way around bones or pretty much anywhere there use to be muscle, tendons, veins, and nerves. It made me irritated how it felt as the muscles slithered around the bone and then tendons, veins, and nerves slithered over the muscle and wrapped themselves around the muscle and tightened themselves to keep the muscle in place. My bones and muscles hurt so much, like my joints started to cramp at the same time every muscle did to, this pain stayed like the others before it.

On the third day, I started losing it, I thought I was going insane, every sense I had was going out of whack. First it was my sense of smell, it went from smelling nothing to intensified smells that a normal human wouldn't be able to detect but then the intensity would fade and come back and then fade again it was so annoying. While my sense of smell was doing that my sense of taste went out of whack and for a while I couldn't taste anything but then my sense of taste became more intense then my smell. I could taste the blood from my lip that I was biting to hold in the screams and then I got dizzy and nauseous and then I barfed from the blood I tasted which made me smell it which made everything 10 times worse. All in a sudden rush I could taste and smell the barf and got even more nauseous.

To make it worst while my senses of smell and taste were going out of whack my sense of sight started going out of whack. At first things started to get blurry and then very clear rapidly and my eyes would got irritated by the moons light. I then was able to see every single detail to a leaf or a tree that it hurt just to look at something for too long, like everything was magnified way to much but then it would fade and I wouldn't be able to see anything and then the same process would repeat itself. And at the same time my senses of smell and taste didn't give up the chase, and like before another sense was intensified like the others, this time it was my sense to hear.

When my hearing went out of whack it was like someone kept turning the volume up a notch but then down a notch rapidly and then it would be dead silence for a little while and then all of a sudden every noise sounded 1000 times louder than it really was. All the sounds came at me in different directions, the chirping of a bird was ear splitting, the soft breeze was like the winds in a hurricane or tornado, the heartbeats of my heart was like thunder in my ears, and then pure silence. Sweet silence, but this silence was to silent, it creped me out when everything went silent even though my ears weren't getting terrorized, it felt wrong. And isn't silence not supposed to hurt, if it isn't then why did this silence hurt, but before I had time to think more about it the silence was gone and replaced by ear splitting noises around me.

When I thought it couldn't get any worse it did, my sense of touch was the last of my senses that haven't been whacked up and by this point I was at the point of breaking but something kept screaming in my head…

"YOU BREAK NOW AND YOU'RE SHOWING EDWARD HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE WITHOUT HIM!!! IF YOU WANT SOMETHING BAD ENOUGH YOU'LL FIGHT FOR IT!!! FIGHT BELLA, FIGHT TO GET THE REVENGE YOU WANT AND NEED!!! TO SHOW HIM HOW STUPID HE WAS!!! SO FIGHT NOT TO SEE HIM AGAIN BUT FIGHT FOR YOUR HONOR, FOR YOUR REVENGE!!! DON'T BREAK AND DON'T GIVE UP, JUST A LITTLE LONGER!!!"

I thought I was going insane but I didn't give up, I listened to my inner self and kept fighting the pain, rage, and the thought of just ending it right here, right now. Right after I decided not to break or give up, my sense of touch went out of whack.

Everything was intensified at first the grass sticking up under me felt like thousands of needs, the leaves blowing in the wind and brushing against my skin felt like sand paper, the tree roots underneath me felt like marble, but then I went numb. I couldn't feel anything, couldn't do anything, couldn't move anything, I felt like I was floating in nothingness. But then the intensity of everything came back and at the same time all my other senses were still going from intensity to nothing and at different times, the only thing I could concentrate on was the pain. Which wasn't pleasant, trust me.

As the third day drew to an end, my senses, one by one, started to die down. I thought it was over but I was wrong, right when the sun disappeared behind the trees, all of my senses at the same time went into full throttle, the blood rushing threw my veins felt like lava yet was rushing threw me like rapids, and everything inside me was in pain. I started screaming bloody murder from the pain and as the pain got to its peek a vision went through my head, like one the pixie girl has. I don't know why I saw this, either me wanting to torture myself, or me wanting to get over him (Edward), or I was like the pixie girl and I could see the future. I didn't know, all I knew was I wished I hadn't seen it.

VISION

I was sitting in the back pew of a church, it seemed like no one could see me, like I was a phantom. I looked around the church wondering why I was seeing this and then I saw him.

He was standing at the front of an altar in a black tuxedo, there wasn't that many people there. Just the them, a priest, and me. Then the traditional song at a wedding rang clear threw the church, people say that song is supposed to make you feel happy when you hear it. But the only thing that song made me feel was pain, agony, and the heart, the thing that betrayed me by falling in love with him, was completely abolished. This song meant one thing he didn't love me anymore, he's forgotten me, and he will not save me, like Alphonse said, "they all have forgotten me." It hurt to think, breathe, live…….what was happening to me was a fate worst then death, because without him my life was meaningless, all I wanted to do was die. Even if this transformation stops my heart it will never stop the pain.

THUMP…THUMP …THUMP …THUMP …THUMP …THUMP …THUMP …THUMP THUMP…

A beautiful vampire with long blond hair, red-ish eyes, and a super model body started walking down the aisle in a beautiful white dress. She passed me and the whole time she walked down the ail which took a while, no doubt she was self absorbed, just by the way she walked you could tell. But anyway, the whole time I wondered 'What did she have that I didn't have, what did she do that I didn't do, or was it that she was prettier than me. I desperately wanted to know if it was all just a game to him, did he even love me when we were together, did he still.' By the time I thought all that up she was only half way down the aisle, man was she slow and she's a vampire. Maybe that's it, she's a vamp and I'm not, if that's it then once the transformation is done, me and him could be together. I desperately hoped that….that theory was true. God damn it again with the hoping, that's what got us into this mess by hoping.

The girl finally made it to the altar, and they started the ceremony. Everyone looked so happy except the

pixie girl I once called my best friend, and her mate the one that always calmed me down, and the strong, humorous fellow I thought to be an older brother, they all had a disgusted look on their face, like me. Except they were trying to hide it unlike me, why should I, no one could see me anyway. 'Like they would want to.' I thought.

The priest asked the so called vamp, Ashley, if she would take , (Edward Cullen) to be her husband, threw sickness and in health as long as you shall live. She said yes. Then came his turn, the priest asked him will you take Ashley Smith as your wife in sickness and in health as long as you shall live. There was silence for a while; it looked like he was debating with himself, like a small part of him didn't want to do this, and like that small part still loved me. When I thought he would say no and back out of this engagement, he did the exact opposite, he said yes and at that single word, my world came crashing down on me. Even though that already happened a year ago, it managed to happen again. I started freaking out, I kept telling myself "this can't be happening, this CAN'T be HAPPENING, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!!!!!"

THUMP………THUMP………..THUMP……….. THUMP………….THUMP………..THUMP……..

They put the rings on each other's fingers and then the priest asked "If anyone has any objections to this holy matrimony speak now or forever hold your peace?" When I heard those words my body moved and spoke without out me knowing, until I was standing in the middle of the ail and heard myself scream his name. At the exact moment I said his name he spun around looking frantically around to find the source of where the noise came from. Where the voice of his "first love" came from. The other three who looked disgusted by what was happening heard it to, I screamed to him again, but this time I screamed, "No I still love you." I knew he heard it, you could see it in his eyes but all he did was turn around to hide the guilt and pain in his eyes. The last words he spoke made me wish I would have shut my mouth. He said "I loved you….once, but now I love Ashley." All three of the vamps looked astonished and then, the one that used to be my best friend, the pixie girl, went limp and her eyes were wide open, lifeless. Her mate gasped out loud and caught her before she hit the ground, now everyone's eyes were on them. The ceremony stopped and would continue in 1 hour, the priest went off into his chambers in the rectory next to the church, to do something to pass the time.

…THUMP…………………… THUMP…………………………THUMP……..………………THUMP..

………………………THUMP……………………THUMP……………...THUMP………

Everyone waited, Ashley was complaining that they should just forget about the pixie like girl and just continue the ceremony but all she got from the rest of the family was death glares, so she shut up and went and sat on the altar. He was standing next to the girl's mate, and then next to the girl's mate was the built fellow, and then next to him was his mate, then the mother, and finally the father of the group. They all were standing around the pixie girl in the middle of the aisle so I sat on the bench next to them and waited.

After about 25 minutes the pixie girl came out of her vision. She sat up, brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins, then put her head in her knees. She was trying to keep her breathe steady and was trying not to freak out and when I saw her reaction I knew what she saw. I started to look around the church for a clock or something to tell me what time it was and then I saw a fancy looking watch on the father's wrist. So I stood up and went over to stand right next to the father, I then bent down and looked at the face of the watch. I gave a wicked smile when I saw that the watch told the time and the date, damn, I was right it is expensive.

I tried to think when I went into the forest and was bitten…. 'Ummm….oh yea it was the 26 of September. And the watch says it's the 29 of September, so that means……OMG today is the final day of the transformation. Which means what I'm seeing has to be a vision of some short, which means he is getting married today, which means that pixie girl isn't having a vision about me, which means they won't ever know that I'm a vampire.' I thought. I looked at them and knew that none of them would attempt to ask what the vision was about, so I did. " (Alice), what was the vision about?" I asked aloud.

The pixie girl looked in my direction and her eyes grew as rounds as saucers and she said as if she was short of breathe "B-B-Bella…" she trailed off. Now it was my turn to be shocked "Can you see me?" I asked, she nodded. 'Hmmm….I wonder if the rest of them can see me,' I thought out loud. I put my hand in front of the father's face and waved it like as if he was zoning out. Nothing, damn I thought if the father also could see me, everyone would see me.

"Am I too late?" The pixie girl asked. "For what?" I asked, man she was creeping me out, not only me but also the rest of her family, maybe it's because she's talking to someone invisible. I side glanced over to him, his faced looked troubled by something but his eyes held pain, anguish, and anger??? I wondered what the vision the pixie girl had.

Then the pixie girl spoke up. "I saw you…." she hesitated trying to find the right words. " Your mother died coming to live with you and Charlie but then her plane crashed and she died, and when your father found out he started to…. He started to," but she couldn't finish it and she didn't have to, I knew what she saw. I knew that all too well and then she spoke up again.

"Well am I too late?" she asked again.

I smiled bitterly, "You have no idea" I said bitterly to go with the smile. The girl started to cry but no tears came that's the fate of a vampire, you're like a god and gods don't cry because when you cry it only shows weakness. And vampires have no time to show weakness.

This was pointless, of all people I should be the one crying it happened to me not her and her pitying me wasn't going to help me it only made me pissed off and when she didn't stop I snapped.

THUMP………………………THUMP…………………………THUMP……………………….THUMP

"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!" I shouted. The girl shot her head up in my direction and stopped her sobs immediately, I let out a deep breathe. I had to make this quick before I had to leave, I took another deep breathe. The pixie girl had the expression of a deer caught in head lights.

"I don't need your sympathy or pity that won't help me, so stop. What happened to me isn't your concern anymore, you all decided that when you left me a year ago. Don't you get it, the day you all left, leaving me behind, my world came crashing down on me….." I paused taking a deep breathe trying to calm myself down, my words were venom, I never ever acted like this to them. But I didn't give myself time to back out of telling them this. Since I started there's no backing down now.

"What happens to me is not you or anyone of your family members concern anymore, you all showed me that multiple times. Don't act like you still do. And don't you dare cry or try to cry because of what happened to me, what Charlie did to me doesn't compare to what did to me! I loved him, sure I loved Charlie but I trusted , I would go to the ends of the earth for him but would he do the same for me? I doubt it, he has Ashley now." I said her name with so much venom it surprised even me. I side glanced over to where he was crouching beside the pixie girl, his expression looked hurt, I knew he was hearing every word I said so I might as well say what I want to say.

I stared directly at him; the pixie girl noticed and looked at him to with a confused look on her face. "He can hear what I'm saying threw your head, right?" I asked, and the pixie girl nodded. I nodded my head yes in consideration to her response. I didn't have time to ask questions, I just needed to make some things clear.

"Don't ever come back to Forks again, you're not welcomed there anymore..." I was glaring at the ground and a tear slid down my cheek as I said this. "I'm like you and you'relike me but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Have a nice life , maybe we'll both get lucky and won't ever cross paths again." I looked over at the wife to be with a pained expression on my face. All he was doing was shaking his back and forth in denial of what I said.

THUMP…………………………...THUMP………………………………...THUMP

"Do you really love her and not me?" I asked, 'god I don't have time to be asking questions' I thought. He turned his head away from my direction and nodded yes. Another tear slid down my cheek and then hit the floor, when the tear hit the floor I started to fade away. The pixie girl's eyes widen as she looked from me to him, then back again.

THUMP………………………………...THUMP

" (Edward) DO SOMETHING SHE'S FADING AWAY!!!!!" the pixie girl screamed. "There's nothing I can do." He said glumly. "BUT WE CAN'T JUST LET HER GO!!! SHE'S PART OF OUR FAMILY!!!" the pixie like girl screamed again, I laughed at the part of "I'm part of their family", man she had some nerve. "We can and we will." Is all he said. But right before I disappeared he said one more thing.

………………………………...THUMP

"Maybe…….maybe we'll be unlucky and we'll cross paths and see each other again. I hope so" Another tear slid down my cheek and then I was back in the forest in extreme amount of pain. My heart felt like it was going to explode, it was hard to breathe like I was under water, and I couldn't hear my heart beat it was slowly decreasing, until…

………………………………...

My heart stopped and darkness engulfed me. When I awoke my heart was dead but the pain didn't go away. Something else was awakening inside me…but what?

A/N: So what do you think good, bad, ok, decent??? Your opinion counts so please RR to tell what you think or if you have any ideas. Next chapter will be up soon, I hope.

lostindarkness