DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Twilight characters  they all belong to Stephenie Meyer but the characters I do make up are all mine (you will meet them very soon)!

A/N: Hey everyone I'm back and guess what? I made captain on my volleyball team today so I thought it fitting to post this up today ! In the book it didn't really tell you how it felt to change into a werewolf it only told you a little about how it felt so I'm making most of this up. Please don't hold it against me; this is just how I think changing into a werewolf would be like to a vampire and please don't hold the fact I haven't updated in like nine months please looks at you with puppy dog eyes. I also want to make a special thanks to 917brat and TwilightAnimeFan for faving this story1 Also Blue eyed vampwolf, Chite, 917brat, Screams-At-Midnight, Silver Fox 22000, and browneyedbeauty4eva10 for putting my story on story alert! And Chite, Screams-At-Midnight, Blue eyed vampwolf, and 917 brat for reviewing my story! And Mist Of An Angels Sorrow for faving me! You all made the second chapter possible cause you gave me the determination to get it over and done with also the 96 other people who read my story but didn't review you helped me out too but please R&R this time it would by awesome if you did. Enjoy the second chapter of I Don't Deserve Happiness!!

Chapter Two: Reborn into Something New to the World

'This didn't make sense, why was I still in pain?' I thought this as I shut my eyes and bared my teeth at my invisible enemy that tortured me. But as I realized that my enemy was me and me alone, my body became engulfed in fire, at least it felt that way.

My eyes shot open as I let out a painful scream in a voice that was not my own, but as I screamed my scream turned into the most terrifying and sickening howl I ever heard. I couldn't figure out what was happening to me, I never felt any kind of pain like this before except for a few hours ago when I was becoming one of them.

The fire would lick my skin, painfully caress my body, and try to see how much I could take.

As the fire kept playing its games with me it still stayed wrapped around me, oh what would I have given to jump into the ocean in the middle of the winter to burn out this fire. The fire still held all around me but then after what seemed like weeks of torture but actually a few days, as if the fire was water and I a sponge, it seeped into me. The flames coursed through me using my veins to travel somewhere in my body, I could feel and see it move under my skin. The flames' pace quickened as they found their final destination. As the flames raced each other to this destination my breathing quickened. The pain was so intense and I was so hot, the only thing I wanted was him, I let out an ironic laugh and hot tears slide down the sides of my face, my pupils kept dilating and undulating as my body thrashed around from the pain.

Even when he just showed me he didn't care for me as I cared for him, he didn't need me as I needed him, he didn't love me as I loved him, I still wanted him.

As the flames got closer and closer to the destination, one single word passed through the darkest depths of my mind…..

But as this word registered to me and I realized what was happening to me the flames collided with my heart. The pain was unbearable; it was the worst physical pain I've ever felt back then. It felt as if the flames were setting my heart a flame, and as if the flames were bombing my heart with the hottest flames on earth. And it felt as if the flames were trying to melt the dead ice that kept a wall around my heart to make me what I am now but it also felt as if the flames were trying to make my heart beat again. I took a deep breathe thinking it would give that relief it always did but when it didn't I started to freak out and take in shallow, short breathes but it didn't effect me at all. I started clawing at my chest were my heart was trying to rip it out, I mean I was already dead why would I need a heart with no use but to say at least I have a heart. I rather rip it out.

I wished I would have died, I wished it would have stopped, and I wished he was there to help me, to give me something to live for but wishes don't always come true.

I couldn't understand how this could be happening to me; the blood that ran threw my veins was not the same as the local Indian tribe Quileute's blood. 'I can not become what they are, I shouldn't even be a vampire, none of what has happened in the past year should have happened!! But it did.' I thought grimly at the part of but it did. As I mentioned the past year a scene passed through my mind, the piece I was missing to solving how this could be happening to me. That one night the werewolves of the local Indian tribe saved my half dead soul and body from the clutches of that mysterious and sinister man. 'Even though they saved me, they didn't….because that man got what he wanted that night, well most of it.' I thought with a grim expression on my face. 'I wonder, would even he been able to save me that night? I doubt it; the werewolves almost didn't even make it.' I thought as I got another onslaught of pain.

The flames still wouldn't give up on my heart but they did start to spread out across my body. They burned my eyes and at the same time my eyes became even sharper then before. I could see from miles on end and my eyes got a new adjustment, I got heat sensors to help me hunt also cold sensors for things or animals with unusual cold body temperature. Then the flames traveled to my ears and started to burn my ear drums, as they did this my hearing heightened to where I could hear a few pebbles falling off the cliff side of a mountain so far I could barely see it with my new eyes. The flames then went straight to my nose; the flames burned the inside of my nose burning the hairs and nerves inside and grew new owns that could take apart different smells, identify them, and then tell me where it came from to an extent that I could barely handle.

They started to burn my muscles, arteries, veins, tendons, nerves, bones, organs, blood, and skin from the inside out. The flames made it impossible to move and maybe even unbearable to do anything, even think. Even though the transformation from human to vampire made everything in my body perfect, this transformation was making everything different from everyone else. It was making my body the predator of the predators; it was making me invincible, "but for what?" was all I want to know. What would I need to be invincible for? The only answer I came up with was to kill. As the flames burned my muscles, my muscles became harder, stronger, and all my muscles got to a perfection I couldn't even believe. My arteries became like hot steel, my veins became hot and the blood in them started to move, and the tendons became like thin indestructible strings holding my muscles on to my bones. My nerves became so extra sensitive I could feel the bugs moving under ground. Then like someone injected some substance into my bones they got harder and thicker yet felt as light as a feather. My organs became less rock-ish and more squish-ish but felt like nothing could harm them. My skin felt like there was a flame underneath it and that it was burning away the vampire skin and growing a new one; the skin felt hard as rock but at the same time as soft as Egyptian silk.

My whole body was aching. As the flames moved down my throat and into my stomach, they started to burn it and my tongue but the flames changed something, and all of a sudden I felt a sudden craving for candy and pop and anything with sugar. I remember I got these cravings when ever I saw something I hadn't had in a long time or I specifically wanted it, but why did I want it now, I'd just throw it up anyway.

Then something strange happened, my blood that was running cold started to rush through my veins again and moving to where the pain all started, my heart.

It was like before when the flames were racing each other except this time they were carrying my blood with them, they were actually moving it towards my heart it hurt worse than the vampire change, 'curse you #0& #& (Jacob Black), if it wasn't for you I would be dead by now and this wouldn't be happening to me.' I thought angrily about that one time….

FLASHBACK (A/N: I believe it's called Lemons, right?? Well you get the picture; just warning there is some mature content in the flash back. If you hate lemons I'm sorry the story was screaming for me to have it in there. Enjoy the rest of the chapter!!)

I was getting out of school on a Friday, it was raining and I was supposed to strictly go straight home after school but I couldn't, more like wouldn't go, I was to afraid to go there. He would be there; he would be waiting for me, and waiting to do it again.

After my mom died my dad, &#+ (Charlie), was never the same again, and its all my fault, if it wasn't for me my mom would still be alive. She died coming to see me; she was coming because I was the walking dead. This happened because of me and my dad never forgave me and never would. When she died, a piece of Charlie died with her the piece that kept him together all these years and he became another man entirely; he became a drunk, he started to smoke, he lost his job, and worst of all he started to abuse me physically, mentally, and verbally.

Today was the anniversary of my mother's death; he beat me earlier today before school for spilling coffee and at the same time breaking a cup. I was to scared to go home, to afraid of what he might do to me and to scared to face what fate has bestowed upon me.

So instead of going home I thought maybe I would go to Port Anglos and see a movie it would kill time and maybe me. I thought of going to Seattle but it was too far and would take to long and if I stayed away for that long I might as well of made my own death bed.

It took me about one hour and forty minutes to get there; I made it just in time to my show I picked the one that was about to start. I didn't pay attention to the movie at all, I actually fell asleep. An old man and his wife sitting behind me kindly woke me up after the movie was over, I told them "Thank you."

And they said "It was alright their grandson did it all the time, get home safe now."

"I will, thank you very much have a wonderful life." After I said that I went out of the movie theatre and checked my cell phone it was around 9 o'clock pm.

Still too early to go home yet, he would still be awake; he won't go to sleep until after 12:00 am because my mom died at 11:59 pm, but I don't know what else to do. So I started to walk down the street towards the McDonalds, as I walked down the street I passed a bar with loud music playing. I looked in the direction of the bar and right when I looked over that way four men that looked frighteningly familiar to me walked out. They were very loud and seemed a little drunk and as I realized a little to late that they were the same four men from that day I came here with two girls that went to school with me (Angela and Jess). All four of them looked straight at me and the man that was heavyset, dark-haired in his early twenties gave me a huge smile, and everything grew silent except the loud music in the bar and the partying adults.

"Hey there sugar, haven't seen you here in a while." He said grinning at me, the other three started to laugh.

I glared at them and then kept walking the way the McDonalds was, only two blocks away and I had sneakers on if I had to run.

I heard in the background one of the men saying "Awww come on we won't hurt you….much, you might actually enjoy it."

I started to walk quicker; I turned my head in pure fear to see no one behind me, I let out a sigh of relief. I was coming to the corner of the block and the street light was out. I looked back behind me being paranoid and a sudden wave of fear took over me; a man with a hood on was following about six yards behind me I remembered that they herded me last time and they were doing the same thing again. I turned my head back around and in front of me across the intersection was two of them waiting for me on the other side to cross, another wave of fear struck me halting my breathe but not my feet. I looked around and on the other side of the street was the last man giving me a little smile and staying with my pace, my mind started to panic the fear of no one coming to save me jolted threw my entire body and I started to shake. One of the other men on the other side of the intersection said,

"Hey, look she's shaking like a terrified little puppy."

I narrowed my eyes at him and tried to calm myself to stop shaking, I mad a rash decision and turned left at the corner before crossing the street, the men laughed at my pathetic attempt to get away from them. As I started to run an alley came up; I made a left turn into the alley and could hear loud footsteps and men calling to come back, but I refused to look back actually I wasn't really looking where I was going until, WHAM!!

Something hard like a big rock hint the back of my head hard, I fell to the ground and the last thing I saw was the gray cement ground of the alley and felt someone start to drag me and then everything went black.

I woke up head throbbing; I tried to lift my arm up to feel the back of my head but couldn't. My wrists were tied behind my back with a thick rope, I started to freak out and then I looked down and I was naked. My eyes got big with terror filling inside them and my face flushed in embarrassment from being so exposed so I folded my legs at my knees as they throbbed from the movement and pulled my legs to my chest to cover it. 'How could this have happened?' I thought as I made a swift scan of the room I was in; it looked like one of those cabins that were in the woods. When I just moved into Forks I remember Tyler talking about a cabin his family owned that is in the woods about a few miles from the beach near the Indian Reservation. I could smell the salt water and woods in the air and for a second I thought it might be someone I knew that was doing this to me. I looked around the room and noticed that no one else was in the spacious room with me.

I started to try and rip the ropes from my wrists and I tried to squeeze my hands threw the ropes but I didn't accomplish anything but bruised and throbbing wrists. But I refused to give up. I kept yanking, pulling, and squeezing my wrists for so long they started to bleed. My eyes got really big when I saw the blood and then I smelled it and my head started to become even more dizzy and lightheaded and when this happened I saw a guy out of the corner of my eye stepping out of the shadow of a corner and into the light of the fancy lamp on the bed table and I realized I didn't know him. But then I blacked out.

I woke up to something sharp and pointy making a straight line done my right collarbone to my left breast. My eyes shot open as a burning sensation built up along that line and the smell of iron filled my nostrils. I looked down and there was a thick line of scarlet blood forming where the slice had been made. I bared my teeth and started breathing heavy from the pain and the nauseating feeling I was getting from inhaling the smell of blood. I looked up to see who had done this to me and then I saw something come in contact with my check. The burning sensation came again and then more pain as a thin line of scarlet blood formed where the blade had made contact and then started to run down my check. I looked up again but this time no one tried to cut me all I saw was a man in front of me with a blade to his lips as I stared at him he licked some of my blood off of the blade; I started to gag. Things were starting to get fuzzy as the smell of blood filled my nostrils faster now. At that instant I closed my eyes and started taking big gulps of air with my mouth without using my nose to breathe to not smell the irony liquid. I opened my eyes again and the man was staring at me intently but his mouth held a smirk. It was a weird facile expression I thought and I was scared. Scared of what will happen, scared of him, but most of all I was scared to die. Funny, every time when I'm in a situation like this; a fear of death jolts through me even though I am not afraid to die and part of me wants to die.

The man got on top of me, when he did this all I could do was stare into his eyes. They were piercing through me, they were the color of emerald green, and it felt as if he was griping my soul. I couldn't move, couldn't think, and I couldn't fight back. All I could do was stare blankly into his eyes. The eyes reminded me of someone I knew but had left, leaving me to this fate. I snapped out of it as I felt his hands start to run up and down my body in a way that made me start to shake like a little terrified puppy.

'Those men were right I am a little terrified puppy.' I thought bitterly.

I looked at his pale skinned chest as I turned my head and glared at the floor as hot tears ran down my face as his hands traveled to my breasts and I felt something hard against my thigh. I bared my teeth with rage and hate that has been building up inside of me for so long and I started to squirm away from his touch, away from him but my actions were all futile. I side glanced at him and his face held humor.

"Don't resist me Bella. It will only make things worse for you because you cannot escape me. Cry, scream, kick, punch, or run, you will never escape me." As he said this his face moved closer and closer to mine until we were like this to each other.

He took a deep breath and inhaled my aroma and smiled at me. He got off of me, sat down beside me, and then turned to stare at me.

"You know I've been watching you for a long time now and you want to know what; from the first minute I saw you I knew that I was going to kill you." He said this with a full hearted smile, when I heard what he said I was horrified.

'How could someone just decide something like that? How can he even think that? What would drive someone to think or even do something like that?' I thought. A million of these kinds of questions were running through my head. I started to sob but one thought went throw my head.

'This is what I wanted. I. Wanted. To. Die.' As I thought this I sobbed out a pathetic ironical laugh. The man looked at me with confusion.

"I'm glad you think this is funny." He said with cruelty and anger. He moved with inhumanly speed and grabbed his switch blade from the night stand. He straddled me at my waist and made clean swift cuts around my body with that inhumanly quick speed of his again but with each cut the new one would be the only thing I felt and the old cuts' pain vanished from my mind.

The more he went at it the deeper the cuts became. Once cuts now gashes he threw the blade to the ground. He got off of me and the bed and then took off his shirt, pants, and boxers. He growled very familiarly as he grabbed my ankles and pulled me to the foot of the bed and turned me on my stomach. He made me bend over at the foot of the bed and used his foot to push my feet to spread my legs farther apart. I felt my will to live spilling out of me with my blood but when did I ever have a will to live? Not since he left; that's why I stopped fitting back when my father started to beat me, when Jessica and Lauren started to try to make my life worse than it already was, so why fight back now? Even though my will to live was slipping away into the night my heart wouldn't give up.

I found my voice and started to scream, cry, yell, and sob for help; I did what ever I could manage. In response he put his hand on the back of my head and pushed my face into the mattress to stop my senseless pleas for help. He took this as an opportunity and with his other hand took his member and held it to guide into me. Once he was a half inch in he thrust himself all the way and I cried out in pain as the pain in an entrance I didn't think I would ever use grew to an unbearable torturous amount and hot new tears came streaming down my face. Before he started to thrust into me he took a hand full of hair and pulled my head back as he leaned over me still inside of me and whispered.

"You know you're beautiful when you scream like that. You would look even more beautiful if you didn't have all of those bruises on your body. But man seeing you like this…", he groaned as he inhaled my scent mixed with blood, pulled out a little and thrust forward to emphasize what he meant making me cry out again in pain. "I just can't help myself and not be rough. I was going to have you enjoy it more then this but I just couldn't wait nor resist, you just turn me on so god damn much all bloody and vulnerable like this." He kissed the back of my neck as if he was trying to apologize to me for not letting me enjoy this as much as he was going to and loosened the grip he had on my hair.

"Please st-stop." I pleaded with him. I wish I could tell you he listened to me, that he pulled himself out of me, bandaged my wounds, gave me back my cloths, took me back to my house, and apologized for all that he had put me through but he didn't.

I heard lonely wolf's howl in the distance as the man with his free hand grabbed one of my hips hard enough to bruise and pulled out and thrust in. He started at an agonizingly fast pace to me which made the bed springs squeak under me and the bed hit into the wall with a loud thud. He lowered his head down again to my ear and whispered huskily, "Your aroma and that blood of yours is intoxicating, makes me want to just lick some off of that bare flesh of yours." After he said this he lowered his head and licked some of my blood of my body.

"Stop, just stop it!" I sobbed as he did this I kept pleading him to stop to let me go and when I finally registered he wasn't going to let me go I just screamed for help. My blood started to flow out faster as my heart rate increased from him thrusting into me and me screaming which made him thrust harder and faster as it turned him on even more. The pain never left as it grew more and more as he kept his gruesome pace and I finally noticed the tiny flames that were starting to flare low in my abdomen and they grew as he hit this one spot deep within me and I moaned out a no. As he heard this a smirk crept onto his lips and he started to grunt and groan louder for me to hear it and the flames grew with the noise and the contact and his pace quickened and he kept hitting the spot over and over again. No I cried again and then I remembered in health class learning about orgasms when I lived in Arizona and I felt it was coming and I tried to stop moaning and concentrate on a memory, a feeling anything to keep my mind from the pleasure I was getting out of this. He kept thrusting into me but now harder and faster trying to reach his own climax and after one final hard, fast, and deep thrust he grunted his release and his disgusting seed shot into me.

He collapsed on top of me from exhaustion, still inside of me and I could still feel his member twitching from the orgasm. I tried to wiggle and crawl away from him as I again screamed for someone to help me, save me but he already predicted this and he pulled out of me so quick I yelped from the pain that ensued that action. He flipped me over onto my back and spread my legs farther apart to get a good view and to make it easier to enter my other entrance. He looked up at my face that had a pleading look on it and gave me a huge grin, I shook my head no furiously for I knew what he was about to do next as he positioned himself on top of me. Without my consent he thrust his newly hardened dick into me again except this time the pain was worse as he stretched and tore the walls of my entrance, broke through my hymen, and finally I lost the last little innocence I had left, as blood started to trickle down his length that was in me and down my thighs onto the sheets as he started rhythmic thrusting into me. Once he got a good pace he started to go harder and deeper into me and soon he was thrusting at the pace he was at when thrusting into my other entrance. One of his hands was next to my head supporting his weight and his other traveled from my hip to my right breast and as he started to massage the right breast his head lowered down to suck and nip at my left breast's nipple. I gasped from the contact and let out a moan that was cut short by me bighting down on my lip to muffle it but he heard it all the same and pushed himself to thrust faster, deeper, and harder into me. His thrusts hurt and even when he began to hit the spot within me again it still mostly hurt except for that pleasure growing deep within me. I heard another howl in the distance but it sounded closer then before as I shut my eyes tight focusing on the pain making it more evident then before and tears started to leak from the corners of my eyes.

'I don't want this; I don't want it to end this way, no, not like this! But why do I feel pleasure when all I want to do is throw up and just get away from him! Why did this have to happen, why couldn't one thing go right for me; why does pain, sorrow, and death have to follow me everywhere?!' I screamed in my head.

"No, stop!! Please!!" I screamed again but he wasn't paying me any attention as he hit that spot again and a moan slipped past my lips without my permission.

"No!" I cried as he thrust harder then all the other times before as his seed shot into me again. He pulled out of me slowly, got off the bed, and walked exhaustedly to the chair in the left corner farthest away from the bed. He collapsed on the chair and was breathing as though he just ran a marathon, but really I shouldn't be talking I was taking huge gulps of air as if I hadn't gotten in any when he raped me. His semen and my blood ran down my thighs and the rest of my legs as I got up and ran for the door but fell to the floor for I couldn't walk from the pain that was throbbing more and more in between my legs. I cried out in pain again as my face and the right side of my body hit the floor. He made a sound from deep within him that could only be called a growl as he got up and walked up to me. He bent down and fisted most of my hair in his hand and dragged me by the hair back to the bed and threw me onto it.

"I was going to let you live a little longer but seeing how you're so eager to die I guess I could make an exception. Now how should I kill you?" He said as he grabbed his pants and put them back on. He then walked over to a black duffle bag sitting next to the chair he was previously sitting in.

"Hmm maybe a bullet to the head…." He said as he took out a small hand gun from the bag after unzipping it and placed it next to him.

"Or should I torture you and cut off all your pretty little fingers and toes and then cut out your innocent little eyes as you bleed to death…" As he pulled out this tool that could accomplish what he said as he turned his head to look at me. "But you might already accomplish that without the help of me cutting off some of your limps." He said disappointed as his eyes roamed over all the blood on the sheets, bed, walls, and me and then turned back to the bag and placed the tool next to him.

"Or maybe I should cut out your heart!" He said excitedly as he took out a saw and a black bladed knife and examined the two sharp objects and then placed them next to him like the others. He then stood up and took two steps towards me as if he was closing in for the kill.

"Or maybe…"

His right hand tightened into a fist.

"I should beat you until you won't be able to move and I have you begging for me to kill you."

Three steps closer.

"And then leave you stranded in the middle of this god forsaken forest,"

Wolves howl outside it seemed but it is probably just my imagination.

"And let you either be eaten alive by animals or starve to death…."

Two steps closer he's at the foot of the bed and I'm backing up into the head board as far as I could get away from him without having to walk or get off the bed.

"Which would you prefer?"

His left arm reaches out to grab one of my ankles slowly.

"Which ever way works for me because either way your death will be from my hands."

Snarls, howls, and growls could be heard from nearby, maybe outside the cabin, but it probably was my imagination again since the man's advances didn't falter. My eyes scanning the room for an escape route but all too far away except the window on the right side of the bed.

"Uh…." I faltered as I saw from the corner of my eye a flash of black pass by the window.

I couldn't think about anything except one thing that crossed my mind, my dad. I started shaking as I thought about what he would do to me if I even survived this. And right then and there I decided I didn't want to survive this.

"You decide." The conviction I left myself for could be heard in my words as my eyes lowered to the sheets in front of me as I felt his hand wrap around my ankle tightly and pulled until our faces were face to face.

"You're making this no fun." He said with a pout on his face. I was frozen, my face blank, and my eyes glazed over with the acceptance of this fate.

He growled like an animal and grabbed my throat but my face expression didn't change as he threw me into the window that I thought I could escape from him a few minutes ago. He growled again the same way before even more deeply as my body hit the window, the glassed cracked and I slide to the floor with blood smearing on it, and my head tilting to one side as my expression still didn't change.

He stomped over to me and grabbed my throat with his left hand again and lifted me up against the window crushing the back of my head and back into it but my face still never changed to one in pain. But instead of hitting me his face became calm and a smile spread across his face.

"You want to die don't you girl?" His said as his head turned towards the door. "Looks like they're here." He said as his face turned back to look at me. His head moved closer to me as he whispered something into my ear. "Only one of us is going to make it out of here alive. Sorry but I can't take any chances. If I die I want to make sure you will live, for isn't it the ultimate torture to not kill a person that wants to die? And isn't it even more torture to lengthen their life time by double or even triple? And guess what, I'm happy to do it." He said as he smiled and then lowered his lips to my shoulder, opened his mouth, and then sunk his 1 inch sharp wolf like teeth into me. The moment his teeth pulled out of my skin the door to the room slammed open and a group of strangers came storming in.

A/N: Hehe I was going to stop here but I decided against it since I haven't updated in a while but wouldn't it have been a great cliff hanger even though I think you probably already know who the group of men/woman are. But this chapter will probably only be about five more pages from here on since I'm in a rush to finish it (which I really don't want to be but I sadly am but I think it will turn out fine either way) because I want to start some other stories that have been dying for me to type them out on actual "paper". Anyway back to the near ending chapter.

At the sight of the group of men I knew all too well, I snapped out of my "getting a beating" phase in time to realize what was happening to me (when Bella's in her "getting a beating" phase she doesn't really know what's going on for her body completely shuts down and her face goes blank and her eyes glaze over as if she's not there which in a sense she's not and that's what she was experiencing before when he was starting to beat her until the group of men burst into the room and broke her free from the phase) as I watched the seen play out for I was completely frozen from shock, happiness, sadness, and embarrassment.

One word escaped my lips as my eyes met the man whose name I spoke, Jake.

The man who held me by the throat saw the disadvantage he was at and heard what I said as he pulled me in front of him with my back pressed up against his chest leaving me completely exposed in front of the group. Taking out another knife from his pant's back pocket, he held it to my throat ready to cut into it if any of the dark haired men that stood at the front of the room dared to make a move towards us.

"Come any closer and I'll kill her, I swear I will!" The man who raped me blurted out not expecting to be interrupted by a group of men that were huge none the less but at close speculation the rapist was just as big as the leader and maybe even bigger then most of the other men but it still was like 7 to 1.

"Let her go, you've done enough damage already." I believe Sam was his name as his eyes looked over all the bruises and blood that was covering most of my body.

"HA you think I did ALL of th-" I cut him off my head tilting downward as my hair covered my eyes and leaving them shadowed as desperation, fear, defeat, and anger settled in.

"Shut up. Don't tell them any more. Please don't tell them!" I chocked out by this time shaking. 'I couldn't, no wouldn't let them find out what my father had been doing to me for almost a year now. They could find out that I had been raped, bullied, or that I cut myself for the depression I was in, anything but that. I had kept it a secret for all this time, all that agonizingly long time. I wasn't going let them find out now, no. I would rather die.' I thought and then realization hit me so hard I could barely hold back the laughs until I spoke my next sentences as I found a way for them not to find out and keep this secret from them til' the grave.

A smile spread on my lips.

"Kill me….I don't care any more as long as no one finds out. Just finish what you came here to do." I said as laughter shook my body. "JUST KILL ME!" I shouted as I turned around with an insane expression on my face and faced the man that wanted me dead. It all was so clear now. How I could keep my secret and not have anyone find out. How I could finally rest and not have to worry when the next beating would come. It all seemed so simple now. It was a lovely way to end my life I thought at the time. I was finally ready to die and I actually decided that I would die now, me, instead of someone else for me and not the other way around. As my hand snaked its way up to hold the man's one hand that held the knife I pressed it harder to my throat enough to draw a thin line of blood barely visible yet.

Everyone let out a surprised "What!" Some loud, others no more then a whisper, but the one that surprised me the most was the man in back of me. Instead of obliging to my wish his grip loosed on the handle of the blade and the knife fell to the floor in pure shock. Of all people Leah took this chance to good use as she used inhumanly quick speed to come behind the man that was threatening to kill me earlier but now was frozen in shock at my insane outburst, just a moment ago and my advance to help him do it too. By the time the man knew what was happening he was being thrown across the room by a very angry Leah and for a few moments no one moved until the man that was just thrown stood up.

"I was wondering if you guys would show up and ruin my fun." He said as he sized up on who he was going to obviously have to fight.

"Your stench stinks up this whole forest!" He yelled. 'Okay now I'm really confused to me it smelled like a regular forest but what did it smell like to him?' I wondered. What was he hiding?

"Where are you from and why are you in our forest!" Leah snarled at the half naked man.

"I'm from up north not that it really matters and for the reason I'm in "your forest" is on business nothing more and nothing less. So if you don't mind I was in the middle of finishing the job." He said as if it didn't matter either way. Jacob growled at the foreigner and the foreigner growled back.

"Want a fight, if not I suggest you all leave or I'll make you leave!" He shouted but instead of any one moving Collin and Brady started to burst out laughing. The foreigner set his glare on them and said, "What are you two laughing at."

"Oh nothing, we just think it is funny that you think you can take on all of us by yourself. Which, is like 10 to 1; do you really think you can take us and win?" Collin spoke this for both himself and his brother as the two boys' laughter calmed down long enough for Collin to say that. The foreigner smiled at the two boys for being so naïve and got in a crouch position ready to attack. But then Sam interrupted before the foreigner could make a move.

"Brady, Collin, and Leah did I say you can talk to this stranger? No, I thought not; remember who the leader is in this pack next time you decide to make an outburst. And for you, I'll ask you this once and only once, please leave my forest!" Sam said this with an authoritive voice but it didn't faze my attacker; all he did was nod his head and smirk.

"Sure I'll leave but I'll be taking the little beauty over there, I'm still not done with her." He said. Jacob growled and got in between me and the man as if he was the wall protecting me from him.

"Who hired you?" Jacob said in a low threatening voice. The man that the question was pointed to leaned against the wall and looked at his nails as if bored and uninterested in the change of subject.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know." He said.

"Stop playing games, who wanted Bella dead." Jacob growled as if about to attack.

"No one, god, don't get your boxers in a bunch. Bella is a side project if you must say, this is something I do. You could call it practice but if this is practice I sure think I get more pleasure out of it then most. But aside from that, let's get to the point already. The beauty or as you call her, Bella, I will be finishing off now, so please leave." The man said this but when he mentioned finish her off he licked his lips. Jacob growled at the comment and action the man said and did and was about to lunge forward but Leah stopped him as she put her arm up to stop him from attacking without thinking because of stupid comments and actions. Leah knew the man was using Jacob's weakness for Bella to his own advantage but she could see right through it. Her younger brother usually did this to her by provoking her with silly comments on how she was in love with Sam still and how she couldn't get over him to make her act with out thinking first or talk without thinking first and then she usually got in trouble. Leah glared at the man and started to walk towards him, each step seemed forced.

"Leah…" Sam warned but Leah wasn't listening to him any more; she was in her own little dimension were it was only her and him. Leah stopped only inches from her face touching his and stared intently into his eyes and then something flashed in Leah's eyes which could only be labeled as fear.

Leah started to back away and shack her head fiercely, like trying to get a mental image out of her head but couldn't.

"Kill him….before he kills us." She choked out as she kept backing up until she was against the wall, smashing herself as close to the wall as possible and as far away from him without leaving the room as well, and having a fear stricken expression all the while. We all stood frozen not knowing how to react to her insane behavior but it seemed it didn't really matter for the man took this as a good opportunity and lunged at me ready to kill.

Before his hand could even send a breeze my way, Jacob grabbed his head and slammed it into the ground and held it there. I heard a crunch, which was probably his nose, and maybe a few other facial bones in the process for Jacob showed no mercy towards him. The thought of him(Edward) crossed my mind of how he would have reacted to this situation but was soon forgotten when I heard a howl of pain come from Jacob who somehow got a knife stabbed into his left thigh and the foreigner smiling with satisfaction at the pain it caused him. Sam said something under his breath that probably only Jacob could hear and with not a single hesitation Jacob had the foreigner in a head lock and in another split second got his hands on his neck and in another a loud crack and the guy fell to the floor dead. Before I realized it derivative derivativeI crumbled to the ground with a loud thud as if the whole time the only reason I was standing up was because he somehow had been controlling me and was able to make me stand there until he fell to the floor dead. I also realized how weak I was and how exposed I was. I tried to cover myself up since there were 8 pairs of eyes on me except Seth, who was staring respectively away, good kid, and Leah who was recovering from her, um scene. But when she caught my movement she immediately snapped out of it and saw why I was blushing so bad with the 8 pairs of ogling eyes staring at my naked form and scrambling to find something that wasn't covered in blood to cover me.

"Get out!" She ordered them. They all tore there gazes from me (except Jake's) and looked at her confused and if it was possible there would probably be a question mark over all of there heads wondering why they would have to leave, man were they dense. Except for Seth he caught the drift right away and scrambled out of the room as fast as he could without even taking a peak at me, yeah defiantly a good kid. Leah growled but the rest didn't budge.

"Are you guys stupid? I said GET OUT!!" She barked ready to snap at anyone who was dumb enough to not listen to her demand. They started to shuffle out of the room but Jacob and a few others stopped and looked over there shoulders.

"Out!!" Leah snarled at them for being so thick headed but all the while I started to see black dots in my vision and started to feel really dizzy and light headed. I started to sway and I tried to focus but my vision became blurrier and blurrier until I felt a wind go threw my hair and past my face as my head fell to the floor and my vision became completely black.

I kept coming to but then would be swallowed up by the darkness again as quick as I climbed out of it. First time I remember seeing the woods pass by me faster then I've ever seen and I felt something soft, fuzzy, and warm under me. When I turned my head to see the color it was gray and I guessed it was Leah but I saw a big russet wolf at her rear pushing itself to keep up with the speed demon carrying me. But all too soon the feeling I felt in the cabin came and I fell into the darkness and hard.

The second time I pushed my way out of the darkness took me a while longer to figure out all that was happening. I heard people shouting and scrambling around me and I tried to open my eyes but the second I tried it seemed like all of my energy was gone. So instead I tried to focus and listen to what they were screaming and fighting about.

"What do…by too…blood loss?"

"I mean…she doesn't…transfusion…will die!"

"Then give…some…mine!"

"I can't…don't know…happen!"

"But…can save…, can't you?!"

"Jacob…not thinking straight. You…don't even have the…blood."

"You're wrong…and…have the same…type!"

It was so hard to concentrate, to listen, to breathe that I wanted to just fall back into the darkness and give up but that rush I had before came back and it seemed that dying was not an option for me anymore. So instead of embracing the darkness when it came I pushed against it as hard as I could and when the darkness finally stopped pushing back, lifting up my eyelids and opening up my eyes didn't seem so hard anymore. But the minute my eyelids opened, I was surrounded by worried people, and I finally realized it grew very quiet the minute I started to try opening my eyes and succeeded.

I tried saying something but all that came out was a weird noise but I tried again and succeeded.

"Hey, Jake what's with the long face?" I asked jokingly but no one seemed to find it funny except me. My vision became blurry and I knew I didn't have a lot of time left so I tried to hurry it up.

"Jake, everyone it's alright. I don't want to be saved if I…if I die here I don't mind. I mean trouble seems to always follow me right? It will follow me to the grave but I doubt it will be able to follow me any farther after that, so please I know I'm being selfish but just let me die." By this time I was in tears and I hoped they would listen but Jake being Jake would never listen to my dying request.

"Bella shut up! How stupid can you be? I'll never let you die do you hear me, never!" Jake shouted at me but it sounded only like a whisper to me and I knew death was at my door but I had to say one more thing, one last thing before I died.

"Jake, silly, don't you know that everyone dies eventually." I said with a sad smile. "I…Goodbye Jake." I said as my eyes started to flutter shut while darkness started to consume me and I welcomed death with open arms.

But not even death wanted me for 2 weeks later I woke to bright light shinning in my eyes. A strong figure sat uncomfortably in a chair next to me and just a second later their eyes blinked open and an enormous grin spread on their face when he saw I was awake. I thought I was dreaming but then wondered if dead people even had dreams. Then knew I wasn't when I heard that voice I cherished so much.

"Hey Bells."

End of Flashback

I became angry but not because of the memory but because I finally realized I will never see Jake or any of them again for the next time they see me they would have to kill me; which meant more people that I would loose. But I didn't have time to think about that for the blood that was the gasoline for the fire raced to get to my heart got there, I let out one final scream and then the pain stopped and everything fell silent until I heard something in my ears that I never thought I would hear again. My heart beat pounded once in my ears and then again after a minute went. By the time I realized what was happening I started to have a steady heart beat. I didn't realize I was holding my breathe until I felt a little tinge of pain in my chest and I began to breathe again. I waited a little while not knowing if I should move or not but in the process of waiting I fell asleep.

When I awoke it was light out but it was different from the other times when I woke up this past week or so for I was not in pain. I sat up slowly not knowing if it would cause some sort of pain but it didn't. I then stood, stretching out my muscles and trying to figure out what to do next. I tried focusing on something that might strike some interest and then heard a river about a hundred yards away. My hand reached up to push back some stray pieces of hair that were in my face and I knew something I wanted to do. I ran to the river wondering what I would look like until I reached the water and peered down at the strikingly beautiful goddess below looking up back at me. I pent down and washed the dirt from my face and then looked again.

There staring back at me was my reflection but it was different from the other thousand times I looked in the mirror at myself, I was different.

My hair grew to just above my butt, long, gorgeous, silky brunette hair. My skin was the palest skin I've ever seen even for a vampire but creamy too. I grew to 5'7" with long legs and define arms, torso, and butt. My features became sharp, angular, and piercingly beautiful plus my breasts grew to at least a size D. My lips became plumper, my nails became feminine and grew in length instead of the short clipped ones, my teeth were straight and white with sharp k9s, and my eyelashes became thick and long. But when I looked into the eyes that were supposed to be mine they were neither red nor brown but a bright purple with golden around the pupil. I stared into those eyes for what seemed like an hour until I felt a little tickle in the back of my throat. The tickle grew into something very annoying but as the tickle grew my mouth and throat grew dry as something started to take over me. What started as a tickle in the back of my throat grew to a desire that needed to by quenched. I didn't know what I was craving to have but I didn't care I just followed my nose until the forest was zooming by me and it dawned on me of how fast I was going. Within a minute Seattle was insight but as I got closer and closer the thirst grew as the smell I was following grew in size. My violet/golden eyes grew dark as I found the freshest trail out of the hundreds there. Before I knew it I was whizzing down the streets of Seattle desperately searching where the delicious smell came from until I made a sharp turn into an alley. I came to abrupt stop for a split second as I took in the scene I just stumbled into. There stood a human pressed against a wall with a vampire bighting into their neck but before I could think what to do I launched towards the two of them.

It all happened to fast to explain but by the end of it I stood in the alley looking down at the human and then at the vampire. For the thing I was craving, that I was so desperately searching for, that I thirst for was not the human that was drowning in its own blood. I stumbled backwards and fell to the alley floor as I looked into the face of the vampire I just drained the blood of, for it was none other than Victoria. Her lifeless eyes stared back at me, blood red and dead and before I knew it I was running again. Except this time there was no destination I just ran, I never stopped, and I never looked back.

And within an hour I forgot everything, where I came from, who I knew, and my past until I truly was just running with no destination. All I knew was that I was Isabella Swan, I'm a hybrid, I'm the predator of the predators, and that I used to have a past but now it's gone. And I want it back.

Hello my name is Isabella Swan, better known as Stella. The year is 2158; I live in the central land where Atlantic Ocean once was. I'm not who people think I am, more or less human. I was once but that changed, either with the blood transfusion or when I was bitten and given the "gift" of eternal life and beauty. I remember the day I was bitten so well it seems like it only happened yesterday not 151 years ago. I'm going to enlighten you on what happened that night, I haven't seen them since.

Now you know what happened but can you find the answer to regaining my past?

For all I want is to remember…

A/N: YES!! I finished the chapter, man for a second there I thought I'd never finish it ;P but I did ! So what did you think, was it good or really bad? Was it too graphic and a little sick with the whole lemon rape thingy? Did I even do well on that? Man my mind is like racing with thoughts and ideas and now I get to post the third chapter up after this one :D (well it might take a while since it's on my sister's laptop in Wisconsin "). And guess what in the third chapter you will be introduced to… sorry can't tell but I promise you, you won't be disappointed and if you are, I'd love to hear why since it could help me with later chapters, hell tell me if you're disappointed with this one so the third chapter can be better! Well I got to go but please R&R so I know I'm improving, what you think of the chapter, and how I can improve. Flame if you want because any advice is some advice PLUS everyone's a critic !

LostinDarkness25 -signing out -

P.S. If I got any spelling mistakes or grammar errors, sorry about them I don't have a beta…maybe I should get one thinks thoughtfully. Well any way I also wanted to say that through out this chapter Bella or should I say Stella didn't really know what all the names were it just made it easier to type their names instead of going like this: #& all the time. Now that we got that out of the way,  later.