"Why..."

Emma decided to just not talk about it, and just sat next to Lindas bed for about 10 minutes with her and even helping her knit a scarf.

Linda smirked, sneaking a glance at Emma and knew the blonde couldn't hold it in.

"Why did you keep pretending you thought we were engaged?" Emma shook her head and then asked the bigger question she should of asked in the first place, "Why did you think we were ever engaged?"

Linda sighed, not understanding that Sean had never gone through with even proposing, so Emma wasn't ready with what she had to say nor even knew.

"Well , the first time Sean came home from at the army, he stopped in Wasaga first then took a cab to Degrassi, to you." Linda recalled and itched her head to try and remember

Emma nodded "I remember." she whispered, that was the time they insisted they moved on from another.. but she had told him that to hurt him, like he had hurt her by going to the army even though she didn't want him to. She thought he'd just I don't know, she was different then and stupid, she really thought maybe he would of begged her to take him back and..Emma snickered out loud, she didn't know anymore what the old Emma thought he'd do but it didn't turn out like she wanted

It was the biggest mistake of her life which led her to breaking up with Damien, feeling lonely, thinking about Sean every day, then she met disaster Kelly, smoked pot, dropped out of school and went through a bunch of other guys that just never could replace Sean and made her miserable.

Linda continued, "He came to grab my parents' rings.. he was gonna ask you to marry him he said, and I couldn't be happier." Linda told her.

Emma leaned back on her chain, stunned. The needle in her hands dropped on the bed.

HE...what?!

Linda went on, oblivious to the fact she put Emma into shock, "And my cancer was getting so bad then so I couldn't remember if you said yes or no," she snickered as she recalled a little, "I don't think he even told me..."

"He didn't." Emma said, blood running cold.

Linda looked at her strangely, "What's wrong dear?" she noticed Emma looking distraught.

"He didn't even propose." Emma said numbly and got up, walking to the door rather quickly and wanted to go slap him, yell at him, anything!

Why didn't he say anything then! Why did he just give up on her?!

Linda put her hand over her mouth. She didn't know. Oh no! "Emma!" she tried to call her back but the blonde left.

"Em?" Sean said, turning from his mothers nurse when she walked out and heard his mom calling after her. He walked over, noticing Emma looked like she had seen a ghost or something. He worriedly put his hands on her arms and tilted his head to get her to snap out of it.

She finally did, and glared back into his eyes. She grabbed the ring off of her wedding finger and shoved it into his chest, "I'm done." she said with anger in his eyes he'd never seen and she walked off, shutting her eyes to hold in the tears and ran into the elevator.

Sean stood there, shocked and looking to where she once was and looked down at his hand that held what he knew was the ring. 'Done'...theres the word again. It always hit him like a bus.

Linda looked up when Sean ran into her hospital room, "Oh Sean, I made a horrible mistake-" she jumped when he angered.

"What did you say to her?!" he stood at the end of her bed.

Linda shrugged hopelessly, "Sean, I thought you had at least proposed to her! I didn't even know you didn't even get that far!"

Sean looked horrified. Emma knew.. she friggen knew.

He ran out.

"SEAN!"

On Emma's way out of the hospital, Jay caught up with her since he was in the lobby and saw her storm by. He was grabbing some munchies and chased after her when he saw her bolt by

"Emma!" he called and grabbed her.

She whipped around and his jaw dropped, she looked horrible, tears streaming down her eyes, eyes red, nose puffy.

"Can you please takes me to Seans? I need my stuff." she cried some more, trying to wipe the tears

He nodded but asked, "What happened? Does he know your leaving?"

She laughed, which made him worry since she seemed to hysterical, "Who cares what he knows or doesn't. Think I know anything?" she taunted, but mostly herself. She threw her hands in the air, "Do you think I knew he wanted to even propose to me when we broke up?"

Jay looked horrified. She knew. Did Sean know she knew?

Emma eyed him, and snuffled. She paused and tilted her head at Jays guilty expression, "You knew." she whispered suddenly.

He looked away, hating the way she looked at him so betrayed.

Emma trembled as she spoke through tears, "You knew and you didn't tell me!" She slapped his chest and shoved him, "We were supposed to be friends!" she pointed madly at him and then herself, "*I* was the reason Manny gave you a chance, *I* said it was okay, that history was history! I was on your side even after the shit you've done to me in the past and I insisted you were a good guy underneath!" she caught her breath and tried hard to stop crying and then just looked, blank. "But you're not."she said rather calmly now.

Jay looked at her with his face twisted up in hurt, actually feeling kind of ashamed and guilty, horrible. "Em, it's not like that- It's just Cam and I-"

Emma cut him off, yelling at him, "You saw how lost I was! In college, you even heard me tell Manny all the time that I missed him and that i had made the biggest mistake of my life! How could you not tell me even a year later that he wanted to do that!"

"The guy was heartbroken Emma!" Jay shouted, trying to explain desperately but she walked off madly but he chased her down the road away from the hospital, "You told the guy you moved on, and I know why you said that," he pointed at her, accused like, "You wanted Bam Bam to fight for you like he did when you were with Peter, cause that got you all hot and bothered by that-"

"Shut up!" Emma sneered.

"It showed you that you still had big bad Seanny wrapped around your finger, but it killed you when he let it go and left didn't it?! You didn't expect it."

"SHUT UP!" Emma cried harder, whirling around to him.

He yelled down at her, pointing at her again, "You couldn't take the blame! It was your fault! You ended something real because you were playing hard to get to a guy you shouldn't play hard with anymore." he shook his head at her, "You and Sean were suppose to be passed the games, about to make the next step but you had to be immature, you weren't-"

Emma was still in tears and broke down, "I was mad at him okay?! He left me for the army-"

"He left to the army for you! Don't you GET that?!" Jay looked at her insanely.

"I do!" she choked on tears and laughed bitterly, "Years later and now I do. I didn't then okay?! I was young! Sean was a year older than me, he had his life figured out and I still didn't know what I wanted!"

Jay shrugged, sizing her up, "Well.." he drifted almost torment like, "You know what you want now?"

Emma's eyes softened, and she watched him pass her a small nod before he turned and shook his head, walking away.

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from my eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your
heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

(cosmic love-florence and the machine)