Authors note: A bite sized chapter, but please read the bottom author's note!


Frisk wiped the sweat from her forehead looking down at a path that lead to a person with a boat.

*You know, we should probably take Papyrus up on that hang out….*

(With The person that wanted to kill us? Greeeat idea there Frisk.)

*Hey i'm sure Papyrus has a plan…..maybe.*

(Well, that person over there is on a river that connects the three main areas of the underground, so talk to them if you are really going for this…)

Frisk smiled as she walked up to the river person.

"Tra la la, I am the river man, or am I the river woman? It doesn't really matter. Would you like to ride in my boat?"

"Yes please, does this go to waterfall?"

"Indeed, tra la la, off we go."

Frisk climbed on board the boat enjoying the breeze as it sailed on.

"Tra la la , the angel is coming."

*Wait what?*

"Here we are, feel free to ride with me again, Tra la la…"

Frisk thanked the river person and walked to where Undyne's house was. From outside she could hear a piano playing, and see Papyrus outside her door. She couldn't help but notice his smile grew a little as she approached.

"OHO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES!"

Frisk smiled and waved

"Heya Papyrus, so what's the plan?"

" AH YES, I HAVE A MARVELOUS PLAN FOR THIS TO RUN SMOOTHLY, JUST STAND BEHIND ME FOR A MOMENT. OH AND BE SURE TO GIVE HER ONE OF THESE, Undyne loves them!"

Frisk held back a giggle as Papyrus pulled out a bone.

(oooooh myyyy, Frisk you know what to do.)

*What?*

(Flirt.)

*No! Plus it would probably go over his skull anyway.*

(I already know you thought of a good flirt partner!)

*That doesn't mean i should use it!*

(Guess Undyne really likes taking his bones huh?)

*Chara! What the heck..*

Frisk was fighting a blush and laughing they were mentally bickering, Papyrus knocked on the door, the noise pulling back the attention of Frisk and Chara. Undyne walked out and smiled .

"Hi, Papyrus! Are you ready for your extra private, one-on-one training?"

"YES! AND I'VE BROUGHT A FRIEND!" Papyrus quickly stepped to the side, revealing Frisk behind him.

"Oh hello, I don't think we've…." Undyne narrowed her eyes, and Frisk could have sworn she saw a vein pop up on her forehead. Her eyes shifted to Papyrus as she said through clenched teeth

"Why don't. You two. Come in?"

Undyne and Papyrus walked inside as Frisk took tentative steps forward.

*Crap...Papyrus I hope you know what you are doing…*

Papyrus had presented Undyne with the present bone. Frisk held back another giggle as she opened a draw full of the things and turned back to them.

"So, are we ready to start?"

"WOOPSY DOOPSY, I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!"

And Frisk marveled, as Papyrus did a flip through the window, shattering it completely. That did it. Frisk burst out in a fit of laughter holding her sides, Chara laughing with her.

"OOOOh my god! Exit stage left!"

(F**K this sh** i'm out, mh mmm)

Undyne patiently waited for Frisk to calm down and when they locked eyes once more, she began to speak.

"So why are YOU here? To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? IS THAT IT?"

"What? No!"

"Then why are you here? Wait...I get it! You think i'm gonna be friends with you, huh? Right?!"

"Thats the plan!"

Undynes voice was laced with sarcasm "Really? How delightful! I accept! Lets all frolic int he fields of friendship! NOT! Why would I EVER be friends with YOU? If you weren't my houseguest I would beat you up right now! You're the enemy of everyone's hopes and dreams! I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND! Now get out of my house!"

Frisk sighed and was about to leave, when she saw Papyrus at the window. His voice was thick with sarcasm, to the point that Frisk could see what he was doing plain as day. He began to play Undyne like a god damn fiddle.

"OH. WHAT A SHAME. IT SEEMS THAT UNDYNE COULDENT BEFRIEND YOU. I GUESS….I OVER ESTIMATED HER. UNDYNE JUST WASN'T UP FOR THE CHALLENGE." He then promptly ran off.

"Challenge? Wait, Papyrus!" but nobody came.

Frisk was laughing on the inside *Oh my god, did...did Papyrus just manipulate someone usi8ng their personality?*

(Holy crap he did…..Then again it is clear that he has an attention to detail. )

"He thinks I can't be friends with YOU? What a joke, I could be friends with a loser like you any day! I'll show him! Listen up human, we aren't just going to be friends, we're gonna be…..BESTIES! I'll make you like me so much...YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO THINK OF ANYONE ELSE!"

*Dang, what a turnaround. Nice work Papyrus.*

"It'll be the best revenge! Fuhuhuhuhu...why don't you have a seat?"

Frisk did as she was asked, and Undyne set out things on the counter.

"So would you like a drink?" Frisk said yes, and began to stand, untill Undyne broke the table in half with her spear.

"HEY! DON'T GET UP! YOU'RE THE GUEST, SIT BACK DOWN AND ENJOY YOURSELF! Here, uh, you can use the spear to point out what you want."

(Frisk. Point the spear at Undyne. You know you want to.)

*Damn it Chara, I'm not in the mood for fish!*

(Pffffft aaahahahahaha!)

Frisk instead pointed the spear at the tea. Undyne prepared it with two cups and set them down.

"Here we are, careful though, it's hot." Frisk nodded and decided to wait a bit.

"It's not that hot, just drink it already!"

Frisk did so, it was burning hot, but other than that, it was pretty good.

"It's pretty good right?" Suddenly Undyne had an expression Frisk new well. It was story time.

"You know...it is kind of strange you chose that tea…..golden flower, it's actually Asgore's favorite!"

Chara was silent and shifting uncomfortably.

"Then Asgore has good taste, this is pretty good."

(Cue that his theme music.)

"I know right? Actually, you know...you remind me of him quite a bit. YOU'RE BOTH TOTAL WEENIES! Sort of….Y'know, I was a pretty hot headed kid. Once, to prove I was the3 strongest, i tried to fight Asgore, emphasis on tired."

"Oh."

(Wow, story time is indeed in session.)

"I couldn't land a single blow on him! And to make it even worse he REFUSED to fight back….just like you. I know the weapon you carry human. That's a gun, from what Alphys told me, a human with a weapon like that could dust any monster easily. And yet you spared every monster in your path, and even me as I was actively TRYING to kill you. When Asgore avoided my attacks until I was too tired, I felt so humiliated. Afterwards he said something goofy, asking me if I wanted to know how to defeat him. Naturally I said yes and he agreed to train me! One day I finally knocked him down, but instead of proud, I just felt….bad. Yet HE was beaming. Eventually I made it to the Royal guard, to train other losers to fight! Like...Papyrus. Looking back now that I've calmed down a bit….our fight mirrored me VS Asgore quite well. I wanted you to fight back, so that I could have some excuse, some better reason to take your soul…..other than the fact that it would free us. Because I know for a fact….that most of the monsters you've met thus far…..are probably feeling conflicted. You turn out to be a decent person, yet you are the only soul left to free us all."

Frisk looked down at her tea "I…know. In the end, I just want to get out, and tell who ever would listen, so that we could get you all out of here. Like you, I am a guard. Humans call people in my station police detectives. We solve crimes, catch bad guys….and sometimes get forced to take action against them before they hurt anyone. What happened to everyone here wasn't right, and I will do all I can to correct it! You all deserve to see the sun and stars again….especially the sweet and kind monsters like Papyrus."

"Heh funny thing about Papyrus. You know about his dream to join the Royal guard…..but….I don't think I can let him in." Seeing Frisk's confused expression, Undyne continued

"It's not that he's weak! As you found out, He's actually really freaking tough, but he held back against you. He just want's to be friends with everyone, or try to help people be better, even if they don't think they can be. I can send him into battle, he'd get torn into little smiling shreds! That's why I've been teaching him cooking, ya know? So he can do something else with his life."

Frisk smiled "I know someone like that, a friend of mine. He decided to be a psychologist, helping people fight their inner demons, especially convicts. The others in my group, know that if he had joined the force, he wouldn't be able to pull the trigger when needed. Unfortunately in the world of humans…..Kill or be killed situations arise more often than most would like."

(Freakin humans.)

Undyne nodded and looked at Frisk's empty cup "Oh, you're out of I'll get you some more." However Undyne stopped int he middle of the floor.

"Wait….Papyrus' cooking lesson….HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT RIGHT NOW! And if he';s not here to have it...YOU WILL HAVE IT FOR HIM!"

(Cue NGAAAAH! theme)

Undyne jumped onto the counter, knocking off everything. "Thats right! Ntohing has brought Paps and I closer than cooking! Which means that if i give you his lesson….WE'LL BECOME CLSOER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!"

(Oh man what's going on….)

*I think we are in for a trip.*

"FUHUHUHU WE ARE GONNA BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS!" Undyen then promptly lept to the table and pulled Frisk to the counter with her.

*Oh crap!*

Soon Frisk was cfovered in tomato juice, splashed with soem water, and the hosue was on fire.

(Well that went to hell fast.)

*Oh god, i'm gonna need to find Woshua again.*

(Wosh u everything.)

Undyne chuckled a bit "Man no wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking, So what's next…..oh who am i kidding. Human this was a disaster, and I can't force you to like me human."

"Wait I do like you!"

"Nah, don't try to spare my feelings, because if we aren't friends, then I CAN DESTROY YOU WITHOUT REGRET! You throw the first punch!"

The world faded to black as the fight began. Frisk threw a weak, halfearted punch.

1dmg

"What? Even after everything, you just cant muster the intent to hurt me huh? Well that's fine….because I don't really want to hurt you either. Listen human, it seems that you and Asgore are fated to fight. I just ask one thing, try to talk to him. I know that if you can just get him to realize you aren't a threat, and that nobody would be happy with your death, he would stop. But if you DO purposefully hurt him...AI'll find a way back to the surface, and beat the hell out of you! That's what friends are for right!"

"Heh, sure."

"Great, now let's get out fo this burning house!, I suppose I'll crash ofver at Papyrus' place, oh and when you call him, I'll be able to talk to ya too!"

With That Undyne ran off, and Frisk went back to the river person to continue her journey, after asking a Woshua to use his green cleaning magic.

(So Undyne is with Papyrus now, I think he's safe.)

*Yeah, I doubt I'll have to call as often….but then again he always has something funny to say, and both of them would be a riot…*

(I don't know, should we just to have some entertainment during the haul to the castle?)

Frisk and Chara pondered this as they road the river person's boat.

"Tra la la, An author can control every aspect of their story, but sometimes they let the characters write themselves, tra la la."

*Ok i don't know what that's about.*

(Me neither.)


Author's note: I realize this seems like a pretty short chapter….like really short, but i figured a nice bite sized chapter would be good for a bit. It also allows me to get a general consensus on something. There are a LOT of rooms in hotland, all of them with funny calls that i would want to include, but that would take way too long and just bloat the chapters. So maybe you guys could suggest some areas you all would really want to see this version of Frisk call and converse in. This way I have an easier time sifting through which ones i want to put in. Oh and I'm probably generalizing Alphys' undernet posts, cept for the kissy cutie one, you'll see why later *cough cough bad opinion zone cough cough*