A/N: Be warned - some hard themes and adult situations are ahead, and none of them pleasant.


Chapter 4

Lorne was sitting in their office with Sheppard when the circumstances of his becoming Atlantis 2IC returned to him. He had his respect for the regulations and protocols of the military,acknowledging the reasons for setting them in the first place, but he didn't have blind faith at them. He recognized that some were outdated and that there were situations that the people who wrote them could never have foreseen. The treatment given to gay soldiers, for example: Lorne was a good soldier, but he wasn't a monk. Others, however, were still valid no matter where in the universe you'd be. Such as, he thought regretfully, the regulations against fraternization.

Sheppard's foot kicked him lightly under the table, interrupting his musings. "What's gotten into you?" he asked, a trace of genuine concern in his voice. "You haven't said a word for the past half hour."

"You're timing me?"

"Yes."

"You sure use your foot a lot often these days, how's that as something to say?" Lorne teased in response. Which was true. Sheppard really did use his feet more. He ran longer, he walked faster and he kicked Lorne under the table nearly all the time to see if he could get him to lose his concentration.

Sheppard smirked, smug. "Well, seeing as I suddenly have all these loose muscles that I never even knew existed, I thought I should make the best out of it before they'll cramp up again. By that time I fully expect another mind blowing massage, by the way," just to prove his point, Sheppard kicked him again.

"Bring me a big espresso-based Frappuccino from Starbucks and then we'll talk," Lorne deflected him.

He still remembered that foot massage. It haunted him at night right along with other Sheppard-connected incidents that seemed to multiply with an alarming frequency since MT7-233. He gave up fighting it, jerking off instead while recalling the way Sheppard groaned from deep within him under Lorne's touch and the way his blackened eyes closed in bliss on the bed in the infirmary.

Lorne managed to dissuade whatever suspicions Sheppard might have had by laughing thw whole massage ordeal off with Teyla and Zelenka, retelling them in great detail about Sheppard's responses. Sheppard took everything in good spirits, laughing right along with them and didn't even appear to be feeling shameful about it.

But deep down Lorne was beginning to fear that he wouldn't be able to pull this off. They never had so many sexually charged brushes before Lorne discovered that Sheppard had a crush on him, and he knew that it was his fault. He wanted it and he reacted to Sheppard's subtle flirting, to his mere proximity, in ways he never had before his discovery and Sheppard probably picked it up subconsciously.

He was starting to feel that nerve-wracking feeling of losing control, and he feared that eventually they would arrive at a point of no return and then the truth would come out. They were getting closer and closer to it with each passing incident, like a charge was building between them and breaking down a bit more forcefully every passing incident. Lorne had no idea what would happen then, but he could imagine the more likely outcomes. None of them were pretty.

"Colonel Sheppard, Major Lorne, Dr. McKay, report to my office immediately," Carter's voice was heard over the radio. Both Sheppard and Lorne rose and headed for the nearest transporter together, wordlessly. Carter liked to walk the city but after her foot was broken on M5V-801 she was forced to rely on the radio as means of communication. She hated it, and Lorne knew that she used it only when it was something important or urgent.

Lorne and Sheppard arrived at the control room just when McKay got there, and they all stared at each other. "You have any idea what's going on?" McKay asked. Sheppard shrugged and Lorne shook his head. They proceeded together to Carter's office.

The sight that greeted them was unusual. Dr. Kiang, the pretty scientist who had nearly every man turning his head after her, was crying in Carter's office while Carter sat awkwardly on the sofa next to her and rubbed her back soothingly, her leg in the cast stretched across the floor.

"Sam?" Sheppard asked, eyebrows raised.

"Dr. Kiang had lost contact with Drs. Esposito and Vogel while on M9G-103. She says that they're not answering their radios and that they failed to arrive at the pre-scheduled hour for lunch. I want you and Major Lorne to mount a search and rescue. Hutchinson and Toriel were escorting the science team and are still there, continuing the search. They will debrief you further," Carter explained succinctly. Lorne and Sheppard both nodded. McKay looked troubled and worried.

"No Wraith activity in the area?" Sheppard asked.

Kiang sniffed and shook her head. "No. The villagers said that since the last culling two months ago the Wraith haven't visited them," her face crumbled like she was about to cry once more, but she took a bracing breath and calmed herself down somewhat. "They were not at the village. We were working outside of it and no one saw them for some time. We searched for hours, but we found no trace! Oh, god!" Kiang hid her face in her hands and her shoulders shook. McKay looked practically disturbed.

"We're on it," Sheppard said. "Rodney, let's go. Lorne, round your man. And get Ronon for me as well, will you? I'll meet you at the Jumper bay," he was already walking up the stairs while Lorne headed down for the mess hall and the gyms.

When he, Miller, Williams, Hansen and Ronon made their way to the Jumper bay it was less than ten minutes after leaving Carter's office. Sheppard was already loading the search and rescue equipment from the armory and infirmary onto the Jumper, and McKay was stuffing some more instruments into his backpack. They were good to go, and it wasn't long before they were on the other side of the even horizon.

M9G-103 was a peaceful planet. The population was agrarian and the people made a living from trade and farming. The nearest village was five klicks from the gate, with wide roads that curved in and around mist-covered golden fields that grew something called Tamu, a kind of grain from which bread was made and that could be grown despite the planet's chilly temperature and long night in comparison to its day. McKay said that light time was only 30% of the planet's 25-hours-long day this time of the year because of the relative closeness of the stargate to the planet's poles. It was also why, he explained, the place was so cold.

Hutchinson and Toriel waited for them by the gate, both shaking in their coats and looking grim. Seeing them, Lorne wondered if Esposito and Vogel were equipped with enough hot clothes.

Sheppard landed the Jumper next to the gate and the search and rescue teams went out to meet with the men on the ground. Lorne huddled into his coat and readjusted his vest. It was so cold that their breaths steamed in front of them and Lorne thanked god for woolen socks and fleece.

"Sergeant, Lieutenant, any news?" Sheppard asked after an exchange of nods all around. Lorne sent Miller and Hansen to secure a perimeter in the mean time, until all talks and updating would be over.

By the bright, white and almost fluorescent-like daylight Toriel looked like a ghost. He and Hutchinson were sent to secure Kiang, Esposito and Vogel on their zoological and botanical research mission to M9G-103. From the way they both looked they probably made the trip to and from the village several times by now. Lorne was sure that the cold wasn't helping them much either, and took out two field hand warmers and handed them to the grateful men.

"We've checked every house in the village, sir, but no one saw them and no one was holding them. Also, we've managed to round up a few volunteers to help us with the search but so far we've come up with nothing except these," Hutchinson reported, handing Sheppard two metallic objects.

"Their radios," Lorne said, looking at the slightly dirty equipment in Sheppard's hand. No one had permission to take off their earpieces unless they were in the city. Senior staff like himself, Sheppard, McKay, Zelenka, Keller, Biro and Carter were not even allowed that and were also required to turn on the standard issue military radio when sleeping. If someone took off their radio they were either incredibly irresponsible or in deep trouble.

"What about the life signs detector?" McKay said suddenly. "Hutchinson, you have the gene. Why didn't you scan the area with the life signs detector?" he demanded.

Hutchinson sighed. "We did, sir, but this planet is agrarian. They have hunters and gatherers wandering all over the place. After we encountered the third pair of villagers we stopped trying to find them with the detector," he explained. Sheppard cursed under his breath.

"Okay, life signs detector is out. What else did you do?" Lorne asked.

"The villagers are still looking, and will continue to until nightfall. We joined them on a foot search from the place where we found their equipment scattered around. We also tried calling their radios, until we discovered their earpieces, in the hopes that they still had them when we started the search. And we sent a few flares into the sky so that if they're lost they can find their way back. We thought that maybe you could do a sweep of the ground with the Jumper but we underestimated how fast the night will fall, sir."

Even though the sky was still a hurting bright white, the distant and cold sun was already at the edge of the horizon. A moon was already starting to rise, and McKay predicted that a second one will follow later on.

"Okay, let me be the bastard here for a second. Is it possible that they simply slipped away for a quickie and just couldn't find their way back? The flares idea was good but the sky here is very pale and I don't recall either of them having an outstanding sense of direction," Sheppard said.

Esposito and Vogel were engaged. The entire city knew it because Vogel proposed to her while she was manipulated to stand at the control room's gate-wise balcony where he sang her favorite song to her. They were a cute couple and weddings weren't common in Atlantis, mainly because of the constant fear for one's life.

"No. They would never do that," McKay said, a stubborn tilt to his chin.

"Rodney, I'm just saying-"

"I know what you're saying. And I'm telling you that despite them both being zoologists they would never do something so profoundly irresponsible, not to mention idiotic." Sometimes it was easy to forget that McKay was in charge of the entire science division, and not just the exact sciences teams. But Lorne sided with McKay on this.

"I agree, sir. Even if they went for a quickie they wouldn't leave their things scattered as Hutchinson says they were and wouldn't take off their radios. Even if they did do that and got lost, they would've lit a fire. It's taught in basic field survival to every scientist who wants to go off-world," Lorne said. "It just doesn't match the pattern. Too many things have gone wrong for this to simply be a stupid mistake."

Sheppard heaved a sigh. "I figured this much. I estimate that we have… what, one more hour of daylight?" he looked at McKay, who nodded solemnly. "Let's split up and start a foot sweep. I want teams of two. Hutchinson, you take the Jumper and start doing a sweep of the area and a geological survey. Fly low and slow. Lorne, you're with Hansen. Ronon, you take Miller. Toriel and Williams, you're securing the gate. Rodney, you're with me. One hour from now I want everyone here. Regular check-ins with Hutchinson every fifteen minutes," Sheppard stopped for a moment to look at everyone around.

"I want this to be clear. Right now we're operating under the assumption that they were hurt by something unfortunate but natural, possibly slipped into a cave or a canyon. We've seen it happen before, and if that's the case we need to get to them before it's dark and the temperatures will start dropping even more. However, if the geological survey from the Jumper and the land sweep would result in nothing, our assumption is that they've been kidnapped by hostile forces with an unknown agenda. Be alert," he said, serious.

After that Lorne headed with Hansen north, Sheppard and McKay went south and Ronon took Miller east. Hutchinson took off with the Jumper, and Toriel dialed Atlantis to inform them of the new developments.

####

Lorne and Hansen covered as much territory as they could, but the light was disappearing abnormally fast and the temperature was dropping like a stone. If at first the temperature was forty-eight, now Lorne's thermometer showed only forty-one. The only positive thing about the dropping temperature was that the mist was dissipating and the visibility improved.

Under the waning light Lorne could see that the ground was filled with large, smooth rocks that created all sorts of interesting patterns. It was encouraging. Such geology usually created caves and crannies, the mining engineer in him recognized, and it meant that the scientists could have fallen into one and were simply waiting to be rescued.

They fell back to the meeting point, and were the last to arrive. Sheppard cast an annoyed yet relieved look at him when he approached. "Didn't I say an hour, Major?" he reproved, voice clipped.

Lorne inclined his head. "Sorry, sir," he responded, although they were only one minute overdue.

"We found nothing. What about you?" Sheppard asked.

"Nothing as well. Fields, rocks, a tree here and there. Mostly hills and irrigated land, sir, as far as we could see. And to tell you the truth, once the fog dissipates we had a clearer line of vision. There aren't many places north of us that they could hide in. We would've seen them," Lorne reported. Sheppard's face rearranged into grimmer lines.

"Yeah. We had the same result on our end," Sheppard said. "Listen. We've consulted Carter. We're now assuming that they were kidnapped by a hostile force, but Kiang said that she was investigating something by the gate and she saw no one dialing out."

"What about when the search went on?"

"Toriel and Hutchinson took turns guarding the gate in case Esposito and Vogel returned there and said that no one came or went. Which means that whoever kidnapped them is still around, or they have a spaceship. Our orders are to hold a position near the gate until daybreak. I've already had McKay disable the DHD. If we'll need to, we'll use the Jumper's DHD but no one leaves the planet until we find our people," Sheppard explained. Lorne nodded, and they both rejoined the others.

Miller and Hansen were attempting to light a fire, and Hutchinson was landing the Jumper just beside the DHD and cloaking it. They would sleep inside and take turned watching the gate. It was deceptive, allegedly one man sitting alone in front of a fire. They had done so many times by now.

By the time night fell completely, the temperature was already thirty-seven degrees, and McKay was arguing with Sheppard.

"It's bright. You have not just one, but two – two! – moons to light the way for you!" McKay said angrily.

"I said no, Rodney," Sheppard replied sternly.

"Come on! We've done search and rescue in darker places than that! It's cold out there, and if they're stuck in some trouble and can't get out they'll freeze to death. The geological survey showed some crannies and caves along the eastern ridge. Do you really want to wait seventeen hours until-"

"Have you been listening, Rodney! We no longer work under the assumption that they are in trouble! Right now our assumption is that they were taken hostages. By some damn hostile force!"

"I don't really care what your assumption is, Colonel. They are out there-"

"That's right. As are the people who kidnapped them. I'm not going to send anyone else to suffer the same fate if I can help it!"

"Okay, yes. There could be evil bogeymen out there whose sole purpose is to kidnap zoologists from Atlantis. Of course. But they could also be in one of those caves!" McKay insisted.

"Okay. I'll make a deal with you. You said there was a second moon, but I only see one. When that second moon rises we'll reevaluate the situation." Sheppard said unhappily. After some more glaring, McKay conceded.

"Fine," he said, equally unhappy.

Sheppard turned and walked into the Jumper and McKay slumped down next to Lorne, the right corner of his mouth pulling down even more than usual. He looked like he needed some cheering up, which Lorne understood perfectly. Not knowing the fate of his men must be hard on him. Usually it was the military men who got into trouble and needed rescuing. Scientists' fate was almost always known because, as sad as it may sound, they tended to die very fast and while doing something very useful.

Lorne suddenly remembered the nurse who had something against McKay. She didn't know the man at all if she could whole-heartedly say the things she did.

Lorne offered McKay his cup of sweet tea, which McKay glared at. "I don't have cooties, Doc," Lorne promised him. "And it doesn't have citrus in it as well," he added before McKay could open his mouth.

McKay seemed surprised. "Oh," he said. "Okay," he took the cup and sipped cautiously.

"We'll get to them, Doc. If they're in any of the caves we'll find them. One way or another," it wasn't a happy promise but it was the only one he could make.

"Yes, I'm sure we will. It's just that they might be freezing to death as we speak and they don't have the privilege of two of the smartest scientists in two galaxies and a brilliant M.D. at their side," McKay said, voice breaking in his anxiety. Lorne smiled.

"Yeah. Two of the smartest people in two galaxies and look at how you eventually got out: by climbing down a rope," Lorne said, and McKay's face crumbled in anger.

"What exactly are you trying to say, Major? Do you belittle the attempts we've made to save our own lives or do you simply belittle our intelligence?" McKay demanded hotly. Lorne sighed. McKay was a good man, but he was too high-strung and too quick to jump into conclusions.

"No, Rodney. What I'm trying to say is that you don't need to be a genius to get out of a cave. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the ones that work best. Like climbing down a rope, or keeping warm and waiting to be rescued," Lorne clarify, and McKay looked surprised. Lorne almost never used his first name. It was a something he saved for times of greater need.

"Oh. Right. Uh… yeah. You're probably right." McKay said, and was still pondering silently over Lorne's words when Sheppard came out of the Jumper.

"Come on. We're going for the caves," he informed Lorne.

Lorne looked up. The second moon was just rising, but even low in the sky it still provided additional light. Soon it would be more noticeable.

McKay got up eagerly. "We are?"

"No. We are. We as in Lorne, Ronon and me. The rest of you set up the watches and secure the gate. If something happens contact us immediately. If we're not back in an hour contact Atlantis and let them know that we've probably been captured. We'll stay in radio contact," Sheppard addressed the rest of the men while Lorne went into the Jumper and split the equipment load with Ronon.

They set off in the direction of the ridge that Hutchinson said he saw while performing the geological survey. The clear roads between the fields helped, and the silence was peaceful. A sort of alien cricket made a sound like a broken accordion.

Lorne took their six, looking at the peaceful fields around him. After a very long walk they could still see the fire and the gate in the distance. If Esposito and Vogel were moving freely about, they would've seen it by now. The landscape was mostly boring, with shallow hills to the north and a plain to the east.

"Think we'll really find them?" Ronon asked casually. He was walking between Lorne and Sheppard, his chest covered with thin, sturdy ropes and his back with the first aid kit. Lorne took field blankets, hand warmers and other odds and ends that were stuffed into the search and rescue bags. Sheppard took extra ammunition for the three of them, flares, flashlights and batteries and other military necessities.

"You mean now or in general? Because I find it hard to believe we'll find them now," Sheppard replied. They talked quietly and sparsely since they still operated under the assumption that someone kidnapped their people.

Lorne looked around him. He thought that the planet could be a nice vacation spot, especially if they would find some hot springs in the area. The fields that went on forever were also nice. Under the light of the two moons the grains looked silvery and shining, and they swayed in the light breeze like wheat, creating beautiful waves.

That was when Lorne stopped. "Wait," he said, and the other two stopped.

"What is it?" Sheppard asked, immediately coming to stand next to him and aiming his P90.

"I don't know," Lorne said. He didn't know what made him stop, but there was something strange about the field they were just passing. "There's something strange over there," he explained to Sheppard.

"Fine. We'll check it out. Chewie, you stay here in case it's a trap," Sheppard said, and nodded his head to Lorne.

Lorne took point, carefully wading his way between thick blades heavy with grains. It was just ahead of them, a strange disturbance in the neat rows of the field.

Lorne turned to Sheppard and made the military hand signal 'I see', pointing ahead. Sheppard marked him back that he saw it too. Together, they edged closer.

"Oh, no," Lorne couldn't help but say, his hand automatically reaching for some sort of support. The only support available was Sheppard's shoulder and to that he held tight, just like Sheppard held his. They had found Esposito and Vogel, and what they saw was hideous.

Both Esposito and Vogel lay naked on the ground. They were both beaten hard, with numerous wounds covering every available inch of skin. They were white with cold, nearly blue, and unconscious. Esposito's body, small and nicely proportionate, was exposed to the silver light only to show that she was badly abused. Her arm was dangling limply, obviously broken, and on her small, perky breasts were asymmetric cuts made by a knife. The blond hairs of Vogel's chubby chest were soaked with blood, and underneath it was very clearly a broken collarbone. There wasn't an inch of fair skin left on him. Everything was covered with crimson, black and blue.

But the worst of it was the trickle of blood and some other substance from between both their bruised legs. Semen. Lorne realized, horrified, that they were both raped. And the amount of semen there could not belong to one person, or even two. He had to cover his mouth so as not to make a sound, and that motion woke him from his stupor.

Lorne quickly took off his backpack and took out blankets and hand warmers. He covered them both without moving them and planted the hand warmers on their necks, inner thighs and armpits. Sheppard was bending down to check on their vitals and to experimentally lift Esposito's eyelid. She never budged.

Getting up, Sheppard kicked the ground viciously and swore savagely, such a hot fury on his face suddenly that Lorne was afraid to approach him. "Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit!" he cursed, kicking at a rock with such force that it must've hurt his leg but he didn't stop. "Shit," he finally said, softly.

Lorne looked down at his hands instead of Sheppard, and noticed that they were shaking. He was remembering the time he wore a red chiton. What would have happened to him had Parrish been any slower was staring at him in the face. Only with an effort he managed to move his locked jaw.

"We should inform Atlantis. We can't risk moving them," Lorne said, voice gone soft from the burn in his throat. The horror was cold in his bones and he had yet to find the place from which he could summon his rage. He suspected that Sheppard was blaming himself for not being fast enough, for failing the people he was supposed to have kept safe, and that this was what he was most angry about. But Lorne knew that there was nothing they could've done, and instead all he saw in front of him was the horror and tragedy of what had happened.

"Yes. We should," Sheppard's voice was distorted with anger, unrecognizable. He then took a few quick breaths and reached for his radio. "Hansen, dial Atlantis. Tell them that we have found both Vogel and Esposito, and that they both require medical attention. I want McKay to fly in Dr. Keller, Dr. Biro, Adams and Marie, and only them. Is that understood?" he barked into the radio. Lorne could hear Ronon closing in on their position after that.

There was a pause over the comm. Then, "Yes, sir."

"How are they?" McKay's voice asked.

"They need medical attention ASAP, Rodney. That's how they are. Now go," Sheppard's tone prevented any further questions. He never stated the nature of their injuries, and it was a relief. Lorne imagined that both scientists would have a rough time dealing with everything that had happened to them even without everyone in Atlantis knowing.

Ronon approached the two unconscious scientists. "What happened?" he asked, bending down and starting to remove the blanket from Vogel with one hand while removing the first aid kit and opening it with the other.

Lorne reached his hand and stopped him. "They were abused," he said, and glanced up at Sheppard. Sheppard nodded, face pinched. "Sexually abused," Lorne added. Ronon would probably know what happened along with the rest of the senior staff.

Ronon looked outraged and upset, two expressions that Lorne wasn't used to seeing on his face. It startled him how Ronon's usually gentle eyes could become so angry. Even when he fought the Wraith he didn't look like this. Simply eager for battle.

"We should move them, though. It could be a trap," Ronon's voice had gone down an octave.

There was something dark and morbid about Sheppard when he said, "Let them come."

####

McKay flew Biro, Keller, Adams and Marie to the field where they have found Vogel and Esposito, and they both received medical attention from the agitated staff. They were in hypothermic shock, had broken bones and numerous bruises both internal and external, and Dr. Biro expressed a concern for the integrity of Vogel's annular muscle. McKay, subdued and speechless with horror, flew them back to Atlantis to receive proper medical care in discretion. Sheppard and Lorne followed on foot.

After they had some time to calm down, or at least suppress the emotions enough to be able to function properly, they consulted with Carter. She was already briefed about Esposito's and Vogel's situation, and was pale and angry when she said that if the culprits were still on the planet then they should be caught and brought to justice. On a more practical note, Vogel's and Esposito's equipment was taken, including their GDOs.

Lorne and Sheppard were given a few sweet, flour-based biscuits to eat to calm them down, and then sent to take a shower and get a change of clothes before returning to the planet. Lorne ended up with his head in the toilet, puking the entire content of his stomach out. He sat for as long as he could under the steaming water and shivered, trying to get their images out of his mind without success.

It wasn't long before he and Sheppard needed to move out, tucked into warm and clean clothes and equipped with blankets and other warm things for the men who stayed behind. The men were already asleep inside the cloaked Jumper when they returned, and Sheppard went to join them wordlessly. No one asked questions and they didn't volunteered information.

It was ten more hours until daylight, and it had been a draining experience. Sheppard left the control crystal that McKay had removed from the planet's DHD in Atlantis for safe-keeping so no one would leave if they didn't know about it. When dawn comes they would start searching and questioning every person they came across. Keller promised to provide them with DNA samples from the rapists, as many as she could make out, and they will compare their suspects against that.

But Lorne couldn't sleep. The quiet and warmth of the Jumper made him feel suffocated, and he eventually squeezed through the partly opened rear hatch to relieve a bleary-eyed Miller. He couldn't sleep so he might as well be useful.

Lorne sat by the fire, watching the flames dance and listening to the sounds of the night. It was silent, except for that accordion creature and the occasional snapping of wood in the fire. The light breeze stopped and Lorne was able to sit on a low stone that resembled a bench and lean back against the short back-support-like upwards curve. He sipped his tea – an Athosian herbal tea that was minty, spicy and helped in keeping one awake – in small sips so that the content would warm his tin cup and his hand more than his inside.

A movement from the direction of the Jumper had him pointing his M9, but it was only Sheppard. He followed Sheppard with his eyes as he made his way towards Lorne and sat beside him, close enough to touch from shoulder to thigh. It was comforting, and without a word Lorne passed Sheppard his cup. Their fingers brushed when Sheppard took the cup and drank in silence.

"Can't sleep?" Sheppard asked, his voice low but not from sleep.

"No," Lorne answered simply.

"Are you, uh… okay?" Sheppard asked again, his discomfort showing.

"No. I'm not," Lorne said once more. He didn't want to talk about it with Sheppard. Sheppard was awkward with emotions. He was the type of guy who was afraid of getting closer, who preferred to avoid his feelings rather than talk about them. Lorne wasn't, and he didn't want to have a conversation about this particular subject while Sheppard was tying himself in knots.

They were silent for a long time, both staring into the fire. Sheppard didn't move from his position of sitting so close to Lorne, and when they passed the cup back and forth between them their fingers kept brushing. But it was fine. Sheppard's hand and his mere presence helped ease the coldness inside of him, and Lorne hoped that his was doing the same for Sheppard.

"Why did you become a pilot?" Sheppard asked suddenly, after getting up to refill their shared cup. Lorne was surprised. No one had ever asked him that, as funny as it was. But he relished the opportunity to think of something other than that night's occurrences.

"I grew up in San Francisco, in a small house two blocks from the bay. My parents still live there even now," he smiled briefly. "Anyway, when I was a small child I used to share a room with my big sister, but when she started her teens my parents thought that we should be separated. So they fixed me a room in the attic, where we had these big roof windows you could open in the summer to let the breeze in.

"My bed was exactly beneath those windows, and every morning I would wake up and have a clear view of endless blue skies. You know the feeling that you have after you open your eyes but before you really wake up?" he looked at Sheppard, who nodded. "Every time I would open my eyes and see those blue skies and it was like flying. That was when I decided I want to fly, and the only way to do it was through the Air Force," Lorne concluded. It was the first time the words ever left his mouth, and he was suddenly wary because they seemed so flimsy and foolish.

Sheppard simply smiled, a genuine and fond smile. When he reached for the tea, his fingers squeezed Lorne's briefly before his smile disappeared behind the rim of the cup.

"What about you?" Lorne asked, cautiously. Sheppard never talked about his parents or his childhood and Lorne never asked. He suspected that something happened in Sheppard's family or childhood that made him so closed off about the subject.

"Me?" Sheppard seemed almost as surprised as Lorne was when he asked Lorne the same question earlier. He then turned to look at the fire. "My family has a business for manufacturing parts for aircrafts, usually for the military as outside contractors. So I always wanted to fly," he said simply.

Lorne was surprised. That could explain the pool in the back yard, but didn't explain why Sheppard was in the Air Force. Especially if he was bisexual and given his problems with authority. "So why didn't you fly civilian aircrafts?" he asked, tentatively.

Sheppard looked at him for a long time, his expression guarded, and Lorne felt like Sheppard was fighting with himself over whether or not to open his mouth.

"I didn't get along with my old man," Sheppard finally said, haltingly. "We never saw eye to eye. He had my entire future planned out for me by the time I was fourteen and everything I did that didn't match his script was not good enough. Nothing I did was ever good enough. If I got an 'A', why didn't I get an 'A+'? If I got an 'A+', why couldn't I work hard enough to get it in everything else?" Sheppard stopped for a moment and then surprised Lorne by saying, "It wasn't that he was just disappointed in me, it was that he acted like every time he honestly believed in me and every time I let him down anew."

Sheppard looked vaguely appalled and amazed at his outburst, as if he didn't expect that to happen even though it was his mouth that had said the words. He looked at Lorne apprehensively, but Lorne simply drank from his cup. It was a big deal, for both of them, but making it a big deal would only freak Sheppard out.

"So you joined the Air Force?" he asked with just the right amount of curiosity and casualness. The tense muscles in Sheppard's shoulders relaxed against Lorne's own shoulder.

"Yes. I wanted to leave the house, I wanted to fly, and the Air Force offered me both. That was when we started fighting in earnest, my dad and me," Sheppard said finally.

"Is that how you got here?"

Sheppard seemed to be thinking about what to say for a long time. By this time they were both holding the cup between their hands, without any of them noticing it, their fingers touching. It was warm and comforting, and Lorne didn't have the energy to pull away even if any of their subordinates saw them.

"I met my wife Nancy when I was in the Air Force," Sheppard said after a while. Lorne simply listened, even if it wasn't what he asked. "She was working for the Homeland Security division that was in contact with our unit. We dated for a year, got married, realized it wasn't the thing, and divorced after being together for ten months.

"My father thought that marrying her was the best thing I had ever done. He was very fond of her and was very upset that we divorced. Shortly after that, I was posted in Afghanistan," he paused to smile bitterly, and threw a tiny stone he had in his free hand into the fire.

"When Holland's chopper went down and I disobeyed the order and went to rescue him, my father got sick. Pneumonia he never managed to get over. I returned home and it was only because of his connections that they didn't discharge me with dishonor. We had a big fight and when he said that I couldn't even disobey an order properly, I left. I thought that this was what he wanted.

"I requested a post in Antarctica, almost got shot down by Carson and discovered I have the Ancient gene. I was told about the Stargate program and Elizabeth and O'Neill were pushing me to join. I… had nothing to lose," Sheppard concluded finally in a neutral tone.

Lorne was silent for a long time. Usually, considering the kind of man Sheppard was, he would never even try to open that particular can of worms. But Sheppard was in an uncommonly talkative mood and Lorne knew that if he didn't want to answer he simply wouldn't. So Lorne asked.

"Did you talk to your father before he died, at all?"

Sheppard looked at the fire, his face stony. "No. I didn't. I thought that this was how he wanted it to be, but on his wake my brother Dave told me that my father was sorry about everything that happened between the two of us… and so am I," Sheppard said with a deceptively calm voice, but his fingers on the cup next to Lorne's tightened their hold.

It was a lot to take in. Lorne didn't think Sheppard told this to many people in his life. Maybe to his team or Dr. Weir, but somehow even that wasn't certain. He felt privileged to be the listening ear for this particular story, so unlike his own. But he also remembered that witnessing something as horrible as they did tended to reorganize one's priorities.

"Still, it must've been hard to come here from Earth, especially since you didn't even know about the Stargate," Lorne observed, not sure if any more of his questions would be answered and not wanting to ruin the peaceful mood by antagonizing Sheppard. Sheppard's mere presence, his body heat, his fingers next to Lorne, they all gave him more comfort than he could put into words.

"Wasn't it hard on you too?" Sheppard asked back.

"No. I was with the SGC for seven years before I was asked to go to Atlantis. I was used to wormhole travel, space travel and putting my life on the line on obscure and far away planets. Besides, when I was asked to join, we already had the Deadalus and Earth had the plans and ability to build more intergalactic vessels. I knew it wouldn't be a one way trip," Lorne explained. It was true. He went to Atlantis with the knowledge that even if the Deadalus was destroyed, every effort would be made to contact them or bring them home. Not to mention that they now had the intergalactic bridge.

Sheppard pondered on that for a few moments before smiling sideways at Lorne. "You want to know the truth? I flipped a coin," Sheppard said, mischievous.

Lorne's eyebrows shot up. "You flipped a coin?" he echoed disbelievingly.

"Yup. Heads was going to Atlantis and Tails was staying on Earth," Sheppard confirmed.

Maybe it was that he knew Sheppard well enough by now, maybe it was a hunch, but he asked something that should've been obvious considering that they were freezing together on an alien planet in another galaxy. "Which side did it fall on?"

Sheppard looked at him with mild wonderment. "Tails," he said finally.

Somehow unsurprised, Lorne could only grin at him brilliantly, a grin Sheppard returned.

And then something swished in the windless fields to their eleven o'clock.

Lorne and Sheppard froze, hands on their P90s. When another swish was heard, they both ducked under the stone they sat upon, just barely avoiding getting hit by the bullets that suddenly sped over their heads.

"We're under fire! I repeat, we're under fire, your two o'clock! We need immediate backup!" Lorne bellowed into the radio, his P90 shooting into the darkness without really aiming. He could see nothing in the dark, and couldn't risk raising his head.

Sheppard was already loading a new magazine into his weapon. "So they finally showed themselves," he said, eager and furious once more.

"Justice for all, sir," Lorne agreed. They nodded at each other, already knowing what the other would do. When next they rose from their hideout, Sheppard was spraying bullets to their right while Lorne was shooting at chest height to the left.

No one would be sorry for those bastards if they'd be killed in battle.

####

"They're dead," Miller said finally.

"Yeah," Sheppard agreed, crouching to illuminate one bloodied body with the flashlight on his gun.

"They're Genii," Toriel growled angrily as he crouched to retrieve Vogel's GDO from the grip of a dead hand.

"Yeah," Sheppard said again, looking grim.

Soon after Lorne and Sheppard had begun spraying bullets into the dark, Hansen had shot a flare into the night sky and they made out eight figures in the red light. From there it was easier to take them out, especially since the men from the Jumper had the cover of the cloak and the protection of the rear hatch.

They were now all lying on the ground, pierced with enough bullets to kill a newly fed Wraith. And they were wearing Genii uniform, though their uniforms were tattered and dirty. It was unlike the Genii to be so scruffy. Even their militia was usually crisp and proud.

"Something tells me that these aren't Ladon Radim's men," Sheppard said uneasily.

"Does it matter? They're dead," Ronon said, nudging one of the bodies with his boot none too gently.

"It does. They were after our scientists. They took their GDOs. They knew what it meant to have it and they looked for it," Sheppard explained.

"Or they could be just a band of robbers who defected from the Genii and knows what a GDO is and who would be interested in it," Ronon countered. Sheppard looked at Lorne, who shrugged.

"It's possible. We've made practically as many enemies as we've made friends. Once they have a GDO it won't be a problem getting Atlantis to lower the shield, and a lot of people would be happy to have that at hand. The Wraith and their worshippers, for one," Lorne agreed with Ronon.

"Fine. Let's pack it up. Take out the bags and put them in. I'm sure Dr. Keller will want to have a look at their DNA," he looked at Ronon and Lorne. "We'll consult Sam, but I'm pretty sure she will want to have a nice, long chat with Ladon anyway. We'll see how we proceed from there."

Ronon and Lorne both nodded.