Warning: Savor the chapter, guys. Hiatus to follow.
…
We Fall Between
…
March
The trouble with me is that I like to talk too much. – William Howard Taft / See what I did there? Thank your dead presidents, Lo. ;-)
Lauren is grateful for W.H. Taft, the dead dude their school is named after. President's Day coupled with a teacher workday means they have a four-day weekend. It allows for some reflecting and a lot of ruminating following Valentine's Day.
So Max fools around behind Maeve's back. Big deal. Lauren shouldn't be as surprised as she is. It just annoys her how he played the sympathy card, acting like Maeve is a slave driver, like he doesn't want to be popular and just has it thrust upon him. She can't believe she almost fell for that. Needless to say, Lauren isn't looking forward to seeing him anytime soon.
Taft reminds her exactly why she hates that damn prison when the big spring sports rally rolls around. It's held to honor the school athletes a.k.a Matsui's favorites. The cheerleaders wear their cute little uniforms for the entire day and ribbons in their hair. Now that Lauren can't join her squad in the rally festivities, it isn't much fun at all. Even worse, Lauren has to take pictures of them being all peppy when she sees no reason to be cheering.
Kaylie leads them out onto the gym floor, trying to raise school spirit in the bleachers full of students. She hides her stress with her award-winning Cruz smile and the shake of her pom-poms. Kaylie is yet to realize that she's a natural born leader. She actually talks to the other girls and takes their input into consideration. When Lauren was squad captain, she just told the girls to shut up and do as she said or else. To Lauren, it was all about power and control. To Kaylie, it's about teamwork and solidarity. Maybe things are better this way.
After snapping a few pictures of the cheerleaders kicking up their skirts (Max'll probably keep a few for his Next Top Hoe to Cheat With collection), Lauren focuses the camera on the crowd. She easily spots Emily between Ike and the kid with the red beanie. She's upset and hasn't been sleeping well. Damn that Damon Young.
"Hey." Max comes up behind her. "Your V Dance picture is making the newspaper. Front page. The one of Gym Cyclops cockblocking the dance floor. Sadly, my headline for it got vetoed."
"Shame. It was so appropriate."
"So you didn't come to collect that dance I was saving for you," Max says.
"I cut out early. You said I had to be there, but you didn't say how long," Lauren says. "Plus, you were a little busy around the time I left and it wasn't on the dance floor."
His lips tug to one side and his eyebrows furrow. Lauren finally sees the relation to Nicky Russo. "I don't know what you're talking about…"
"Out in the parking lot." Her voice is loud enough to be heard over all the pep rally commotion, but low enough to be just between them. When his expression doesn't change, Lauren hints, "She moans like a harpooned whale."
Even when Max turns sheet white, Lauren remains unsympathetic and takes a few pictures of their beloved mascot, a creepy giant bird, leaving a trail of feathers behind him as he does a cartwheel. Always with the utmost respect for photography, Max waits till she's done before he grabs Lauren's arm and pulls her to the door. Despite her demands to be unhanded, Max doesn't let go until they're safely outside the gym.
"What did you see?" Max asks. This is the most serious she's ever. Lauren moves away from him, leaning back against a vending machine, where the glowing image of a Vitamin Water bottle has an eye spray painted over it.
"It's more about what I heard. I think harpooned whale is as accurate as it gets," Lauren sasses, one hand perched on her jutted hip. "Where did Maeve think you were?"
"You can't tell her, Lauren," Max says, ignoring the question. "Not even Kaylie. You didn't tell Kaylie, did you? If she ever finds out, she'll tell Maeve and I'm a dead man."
"No, I didn't tell Kaylie. I haven't told anyone and I am totally fine with keeping things that way. I don't want to be involved in any of this. Just try to be a little more discrete next time you decide to cheat on your girlfriend, okay? Okay."
Just as she starts to retreat, Max asks, "You don't even want to know why?"
No, she doesn't want to know. She's better off not knowing and going on with her life. But then there's Max's face and how easy it is to tell that he has no one to talk to and lets it build up inside. If she were any one else, she'd probably find it heartbreaking.
"Why do you want me to know?" Lauren asks. "If she doesn't do it for you then maybe you should consider taking it up with her."
Though neither of them moves a muscle, barely even breathing, both hear the sound of crunching gravel. Marcus walks over in one of his vintage vests and looks between them. Max is quick to motion to the camera around his neck and the older model in Lauren's hands.
"Yearbook and newspaper," Max explains. "It's crazy inside. We needed a moment to regroup and see how the pictures are turning out before we go back inside."
Though Max can tell a flawless lie (not that Lauren finds it surprising anymore) Marcus still looks to Lauren for confirmation. It makes her feel pretty good that a teacher would take her word over a pretty boy Royal like Max. Lauren's never had that before.
"It's true," Lauren says. "The work of a reformed citizen is never done, Marcus."
"Make it quick," Marcus says. "You wouldn't want to miss the idol worship of your athletically inclined peers."
As soon as Marcus is a good distance away, Lauren's attention is back on the yearbook editor even when Max's eyes linger on Marcus until he completely disappears.
"These cameras are like golden tickets," Lauren says. "Who knew?"
"I'm not in love with her."
Reality rips straight through their fake high school existence and everything around them— Marcus' presence, the noise coming from the gym—it fades away. All that remains is Lauren and her shock and Max and his honesty. He refuses to face her, kicking at the gravel with the toes of his sneakers and instead chooses to focus on that, movement surrounded by stillness.
"I'm not in love with Maeve," Max says, more confident this time.
"Then why are you with her?"
"Because we're Max and Maeve, voted senior class cutest couple, the ones all our poor, sad struggling friends go to for relationship advice," Max explains. Lauren feels like she's the first person he's ever said this to. It's frightening. "We're so close to graduating. Do you know what a breakup would do? It'd ruin everything we spent the last two years perfecting."
"Does she know how you really feel?"
Max laughs, a little guilty but also like he thinks it's a stupid question. "I know Maeve better than I know most people. She isn't stupid. She knows things aren't how it was when we first started dating, but she's Maeve. Her biggest concern is how a breakup would affect her chance at prom queen. Don't get me wrong. Maeve is cool and hot, fun to be around and to talk to when she isn't putting up a front. I love her, but romantically, something isn't right."
"So you make out with slutty freshmen, thinking that'll solve your problems with Maeve?"
"She was a sophomore, actually…I think," Max says, a hint of a smile on his lips. Lauren refuses him the satisfaction of a reaction. "Look, it's not like I'm doing it because I want to see how many girls I can get with. It isn't about bedpost notches. It's about feeling like something in my relationship is missing and trying to figure out what that is, if it's her or maybe it's me."
"By running the bases of different diamonds behind your girlfriend's back?" Lauren is so against cheating in relationships, especially after seeing the way it scarred Kaylie.
"I know it sounds bad," Max admits, "but what would you do?"
Dump him. If she were in a relationship with someone she wasn't in love with and knew it then she'd end it. But then she imagines, what if it was Razor? Even she'd hesitate, but resorting to cheating is stupid. It's making a complicated situation messier than it already is, especially since Maeve is the type to take her pain out on anyone who crosses her path.
"So what? You're just going to break up with her at Grad Night?"
"Not Grad Night. After. I figure when I finally tell her about New York she'll get upset and break up with me, save me the trouble of hurting her. It's high school. After graduation, we'll laugh at all the phony sentiments in our yearbooks and then it'll all be gone."
"And if it backfires?" Lauren asks. "What are you going to do if she thinks it's great and starts talking about you two getting a place together on the Upper East Side and your mom hooking her up with designers? NYC is pretty much the fashion capital of America."
"I never really thought of that…" Max kicks at the gravel with more power. Frustration.
She knows it isn't nice, but Lauren laughs. "Wow. You're screwed."
Max chuckles and Lauren wishes he wouldn't. It's such a depressing sound.
"Have you ever thought about how, I don't know, she might be pissed when she finds out that her whole senior year teenage dream was a fake?"
"How do you think I feel?" Max seethes. Lauren almost flinches. "I've known the entire time. I think about this all the time and before you, I kept it to myself. I usually tell Maeve about stuff that bothers me, but I can't because it'll destroy her. It wasn't all bad. Just lately…"
Max kicks a rock clear across the courtyard and Lauren doesn't say anything. His conflicted feelings show on his face, but something tells Lauren that there's more to it. He's still holding something back. Her natural nosiness craves the other secrets Max has buried in his psyche.
"We should probably get back in there," Max says. "Lauren, you won't tell anyone, right? I'm in a really tough position here and I don't want this all over school. I can trust you, can't I?"
"If Maeve hears it, it won't be from me."
Smoothing his fingers through his dark hair, Max gives her a half-smile. "Thank you."
The way he looks at her leaves an impression on her and Lauren hates how deep it goes. It's too personal. She knew this was a bad idea, learning things about each other, seeing beneath the surface and sharing secrets. She isn't supposed to be friendly with this guy because with Lauren, unless your name is Ike Benzinger, she has trouble remembering which lines shouldn't be crossed. A hot guy like Max getting too close, Lauren knows to push him back.
Step one is breaking their stare, which she does, reluctantly.
"So, you know my friend, the future Olympic gymnast?" Lauren says. Changing the subject to something casual, something safe, that's step two. "Well, guess who's the lucky photographer with an all access pass to her practice sesh and gets to take a few pictures?"
"How'd you swing that?" Max questions, as they head back to the gym.
"I told her it was a school project and not my own selfish reason like it is."
"Hold on." Max swings his bag to his front and carefully fishes out a bag with another camera inside. "Use this. Same basic functions, even simpler, actually. It's practically an antique. Use it and then I can show you how to develop the film. You can finally see my darkroom."
Lauren knows how horrible that sounds, but a part of her admits it could be fun too.
"Deal."
Walking ahead of Max, Lauren hopes the rest of the day is less eventful and indeed turns out to be particularly dull until Lauren finds herself in the Rock parking lot. She stares up at the ominous structure. It looks a lot different in the daylight compared to when she's sneaking around it with her three best friends on particularly restless summer nights.
Lauren wanders inside and the smell hits her hardest. Sweat and ambition. Gymnasts are all around, using various apparatus with their gorgeous, powerful bodies. Max must be brainwashing her or something because the way the lights fall on one particular girl working through a floor routine makes her itch to capture the moment on film.
"Excuse me, Miss," a low, sexy voice calls out to her. "This is a closed practice."
"She's with me!" Payson joins them, wearing a purple leotard and dusted with chalk. "Sasha, my mom spoke to you about it? Lauren is doing a project for school. She already signed the confidentiality agreement saying she won't sell or manipulate the pictures and it won't be any of the other gymnasts, just me. You said it was okay, didn't you?"
Payson watches him, seeking his approval and Sasha withdraws and hesitates. A grown man reduced to a gawky schoolboy. Payson is blind to it, but it sets off a red flag with Lauren.
"Oh, right. Slipped my mind," Sasha replies. "Carry on. Just don't disturb any of the other gymnasts. One complaint and I'm sorry to say I'll have to ask you to leave."
"There won't be any problems. I promise," Lauren says sweetly.
Sasha talks to Payson about working on something or other. It's lost on Lauren, especially since her interest veers more towards the body language. There's such unresolved tension between coach and gymnast, definitely something Lauren hasn't seen before, especially when all she has to go off of is her brief experience in dealing with Marty.
When Sasha goes across the room to check in with the girl practicing on the mats, Lauren whips her head to Payson. "Did something happen between you two?"
Good lord is Payson's confusion adorable. She's taken aback and clearly, it's genuine. "Lauren, why would you even say something like that?"
"Did you not see how weird he was right there?" Lauren asks, motioning across the gym to where Sasha is out of earshot. "Something so happened. Do not try to keep it from me, Payson Elizabeth!"
The gymnast deadpans. "Lo, don't call me that. My mom calls me that."
"Hmm, I wonder what your boyfriend would think of a certain World Champ getting cozy with the coach," Lauren teases, trying to poke Payson who tries to shove her away in reply.
"There's nothing to be thinking about," Payson corrects her. "Whatever it is you think you're sensing, I have no idea and had no part in. Lo, focus. Remember why you're here."
Right. She's here for her bogus assignment for Photojournalism (a class Lauren totally made up). She recognizes how ridiculous it is that she needs to spin lies just to spend time with her friend, but Payson's life is busier than most girls their age. Though they've never had a serious conversation about it, Lauren takes pride in Payson and her accomplishments. Bringing her camera up, Lauren snaps a picture of Payson without warning.
"Payson Keeler, pretty in leo," Lauren says. "That one's for Ike's shrine to you in his locker."
Rubbing her eyes, Payson says, "I didn't agree to this so you could play paparazzi."
"Fine. What apparatus are you working on?"
"I was just about to hit the beam."
A part of Lauren, one she thought died when she left the sport, swells within her. The beam has a special place in her heart. It was her favorite event and one she dominated. They didn't call her the Bitch of the Beam without reason.
While Payson is working through her routine, first in her head and then physically, there's something about her that demands to be photographed. Lauren weighs Max's camera in her hands, focuses the lens and takes a few shots like a pro. Max Spencer really did leave an impression on her, more so than Lauren ever wants to admit.
As Sasha gives Payson feedback, Lauren sees the cult leader from New York. She walks into the Rock and Lauren can't stop staring at her black ankle boots, wanting to steal them. Faith's off-black jeans look like she cut them herself and split the seams to cuff the bottoms. Her hair, red and brown with blonde highlights, in her face, down her shoulders, intentional chaos. Lauren doesn't understand why, but even she feels the allure Faith Giancana is infamous for.
"Pay, you didn't tell me she was back." Lauren doesn't mean to sound catty, but she does feel a bit possessive. Faith Giancana is definitely a source of unnecessary stress for Kaylie.
"I'm pretty sure I did," Payson counters. "You probably weren't listening."
"Oh, just pin the blame on me."
When Faith ends her phone call, she walks over to them, no hesitation whatsoever, and Lauren can't resist staring at her boots. They're freaking cute and Faith has tiny feet.
"Hi again! I'm Faith if you don't remember, from last summer."
God, she's one of those sweet bitches who pretend to be nice and then tear your head off and steal your boyfriend when you blink. But since she's Payson's friend, Lauren smiles.
"Hey, I'm Lauren Tanner," she says. "I love your boots."
"Aw, thanks," Faith says, turning her heels in to give Lauren a better view. "I got them from his little family-owned leather shop in Naples. So awesome! You choose what design you want and they take your measurements and make the boots to fit you. The only thing is I asked if they did online orders and the man just laughed and called me a silly American so I'm assuming that's a no. If you're ever in Italy, I can hook you up with directions."
"I've always wanted to go," Lauren confesses. "I have family on my mom's side in Calabria."
"No way!" Faith shouts excitedly. "I have family in Sicily and do Nicky and Max. Giancanas and Russos galore! We're all practically cousins. Italian takeover."
Not only is Faith Giancana alluring, but her smile is infectious too. Lauren doesn't know her family outside of the U.S., but she does know she's Calabrese. She's Italian and takes pride in that no matter how shameful the Jersey Shore cast is. Lauren doesn't think of her heritage very often, but now she's intrigued. Thank you, Faith Giancana.
"Was that Kelly on the phone?" Payson asks. "What'd she say?"
"She can't make it for dinner." Faith sighs dejectedly. "Parker Family Drama ensues. Her dad is probably upset that he caught us in bed together." Lauren shoots Payson a look, but Payson quickly shakes it away. Faith doesn't even realize. "I mean, sure, Kelly didn't tell him I was in town, but what's the big? So she lets me use her car and eat whatever's in the fridge, and sleep in her bed. Those things keep me from being homeless! Faith hate at its finest."
"Faith hate? As a devout practitioner of Faithism, that's just sinful." Austin comes up behind the girls. Sweat glistens across his forehead and all down his sculpted, tattooed arms. His muscle definition distracts Lauren from coveting Faith's boots. "You could always stay with Connie and me. I'm sure the Southern gent' would volunteer his bed and everything."
"Only if he's in it," Faith says. Payson elbows her. "Ouch! Becca isn't around and it's true!"
"The offers always good, Pretty," Austin says. "We could always use a maid." Faith wrinkles her nose at the very idea. "What? How else do you expect to earn your keep?"
Faith's lips part, about to answer, but Payson cuts her off with, "Don't say sexual favors."
Faith wraps her arms around Payson in a half-hug. "You know me too well, Pace. Thanks for the offer, Handsome, but being the Snow White to your two overgrown dwarfs? I'm not even the Snow White to my own inner dwarf. It's okay. I'll probably go stay with Nicky until Kelly's dad leaves. It sucks that she can't make it tonight. She really wanted to, for real this time. She was looking forward to giving Conrad the hurt Becca and I'll rip your face off speech."
Austin chuckles. "I still think we should set up KP and Connie."
"I am so down with that!" Faith holds her hand up and Austin gives her a high-five. Standing between them, Payson shakes her head.
"Faith, are you really encouraging this?"
"You know I created the Give Me a Nicky and Kelly Reunion Facebook page—which needs more 'likes' by the way—but if he's getting play then Kelly should be out with someone like Cutie Pie, not DE meatheads. Plus, every time I bring up Conrad, her face does this thing and she won't tell me, but something so happened between them! Aus, care to fill in the blanks?"
"Beats me," he replies. "All I know is Conrad can help KP gets over Jerk-Off and she can help Con get over his ex and also give him more reasons to stay. They'd both be happy, we can all be best friends forever and kill the Olympics together. Happily ever after."
"He is not over his Jackie Nevada and Kelly…" Payson stops herself, looking at Lauren. "She's getting herself back together and he's joining the army. The last thing either of them needs right now is a romantic relationship."
"Kelly started asking me about Nicky the other day!" Faith says with excitement. "How he is, college plans, stuff like that. Quality time with Aunt Kim did her some major good."
Austin scoffs. "We don't call him 'Nicky' around here. We only refer to him as Jerk-Off."
"Because that's as close to play as he's getting?" Lauren asks. The Gym Camp Family finally acknowledges the blonde's presence and they share a laugh that makes her feel welcomed. This group, as odd as it seems, somehow works. "So what's her deal? Why doesn't Kelly just talk to Jerk-Off?"
Austin smirks, happy that someone is following the rules.
"It isn't easy for her," Faith explains. "The thing about Kelly is you have to let her to her own thing on her own terms and her own time. It's just my job to keep her off the booze, get her to the gym every day on time and now I guess Handsome and I are gonna get her laid!"
Austin chuckles and holds his hand up for another high-five that Faith delivers with a little comical hop. Lauren's attention goes right back to those adorable boots.
"Does this mean the intervention is off?" Payson questions.
"We'll keep it in the back pocket for now. Don't throw away your expected, three-page, single space intervention speech just yet." Faith winks at the blonde. She eyes Austin who innocently sways from side to side. "And you need to start your speech! Come on, Aus. She needs us. Mommy and daddy issues make the booze flow and suckishly, Kel has both."
Lauren tenses. From that alone, she can actually relate to Kelly Parker.
"On top of Jerk-Off issues," Austin adds. "Man, if I ever run into that kid…"
"You'll behave yourself because Nicky isn't so bad," Payson says. It's just like Payson to be true despite what her friends may think. "If you had an actual conversation with him you'd know he's genuinely worried about Kelly and wants to be back in her life."
"And back in her pants," Austin adds. "Pretty, I know he's your BFF and everything, but the dude used KP for sex. I'd never do that to a girl and I'm supposed to be Austin Tucker."
When she hears that, Lauren almost gasps. She immediately turns to Payson with eyes narrowed. "Does Kaylie know this?"
A wave of panic sweeps through the faces around her. Austin colors with regret.
"If Kaylie knows, I didn't tell her," Payson says. "If she knows, Nicky had to have."
"But it doesn't matter!" Faith says, quickly sliding into damage control mode. "No one—and by no one I mean Kaylie—has to worry about Nicky and Kelly hooking up ever again because they won't. If our friendship means anything to them, and I know it does, they won't. When things break, it's not the actual breaking that stops everything from coming back together again. It's because little pieces get lost between them so they don't fit anymore."
"But it doesn't mean they can't form a whole new, better shape, right?" Payson asks.
"How optimistic, Keeler." Austin swoops his arm out like he's going to hug her, but then remembers where they are and tries to play it off, swinging his arms at his sides. "I'm still not a fan of that guy, but Payson has a point."
"Sorry, real quick, do you all get ancient monks to mentally text you all this wise crap?" Lauren asks. Everyone looks at her as if they forgot she was there. Lauren hates not being the center of attention, but finds herself too absorbed in watching to really care.
"We're just cool like that," Faith replies.
Lauren eyes Austin. "So, Mr. Famous, I heard you called Maeve Benson anorexic."
Austin raises his eyebrows in genuine interest. "The girl from the party?"
They all wait on Payson's response when Sasha walks out of the office and finds the clique of gymnasts and former gymnasts not partaking in any gymnastics.
"What is all this standing around? This isn't a debutant ball! You're gymnasts! Let's get back to gymnastics!" Sasha shouts. They all scatter with Austin heading to the annex and Payson dragging Lauren to the vault. Faith turns one way just to turn the other way and ends up spinning in a confused circle before coming to face Sasha with a big smile. "Faith…"
"Right. I know. Stay in the observation room."
"And Faith…"
"Yes, Sasha?"
"It's nice to see you again."
Not too far away, with Max's antique camera in hand, Lauren snaps a picture of the auburn-haired girl and the scruffy man in the Rock polo shirt. Lauren doesn't know why, but her camera eye keeps going back to Faith over and over again. Maybe developing the film and holding the prints in her hands will give her some kind of explanation. For now, Lauren takes multiple pictures of Faith Giancana and she doesn't really know why.
…
For reasons she can't explain, Kaylie has Faith Giancana's voice in her head.
Pick me. Choose me. Love me!
Currently, Kaylie's heart screams that exact thing at Payson.
"Kaylie, I don't have time for this."
"Payson!" Pant. "Wait!" Gasp. "I wanna—" Wheeze. "—I wanna talk to you!"
Kaylie must really be out of practice if Payson hasn't even broken a sweat and she's ready to drop. It doesn't help that she hasn't been running at all since the fight at Lauren's party. With AJ home, there's an overwhelming amount of junk food in the cupboards and they've been eating mostly takeout since Ronnie's putting in overtime at work.
"Kaylie, I don't want to hear it unless you're ready to apologize."
"I am!" Kaylie says. "Just stop!"
Payson slows to a halt before they cross the old iron bridge deep in the park. With spring coming and temperatures warming, the stream is a little louder than a trickle, but Kaylie's heavy breathing drowns out all else. She leans forward with her hands on her knees, heart pumping loudly in her chest and beads of sweat starting to take form at her hairline.
"Are you okay?" Payson asks. "I thought you run all the time for cheer?"
"Yeah, but, ugh, I've been skipping on the conditioning to get the choreo done." Kaylie straightens and wipes the back of her hand across her forehead. "Okay, you win. I should have told you. I'm sorry. Max asked me not to and I just said yes. Honestly, I didn't even think to tell you, but you're right. If you knew something like that about one of our friends then I'd want you to tell me. I really am sorry, Payson."
"Thank you," Payson says. "And I'll admit I might have overreacted and you didn't need that on top of whatever happened between you and Nicky. It's just…Kelly is a mess right now and I don't know what else to do to help her."
"Yeah, I heard from Nicky and, well, from Faith talking to Nicky." Kaylie's still not over how awkward that entire overheard conversation was. "I don't blame you for being worried, especially after seeing those photos. Is she really doing that bad?"
"Pretty bad. If my mom had the option, she'd probably put Kelly under house arrest, but things are slowly getting better now that Faith is here. Before, Kelly was showing up at my house, drunk in the middle of the night. I wish I knew what to do for her, but I still don't."
"That's the thing, Pay. You can't be her crutch."
"Not forever, but at least until she gets back on track. I'd do it for you," Payson says. Kaylie nods, knowing Payson means it with all her heart. "So, yes, I'd do it for Kelly too."
With her breathing back to normal, Kaylie leans against the railing of the bridge. Payson does the same, gazing down at the water below. They used to come here a lot as kids, the four of them, on picnics with Mrs. Keeler supervising. It's hard to believe things were once so simple.
"Do you think things will ever get easier?" Kaylie asks.
"Dealing when your loyalty to someone compromises your loyalty to someone else?"
Kaylie nods.
"I wish we didn't have to deal with it at all."
"Same here," Kaylie says. "Pay, I missed you."
Payson laughs, so relaxed, letting Kaylie know that things are on their way to being good between them again. "It's been a little over a week."
"Well, look what happens when we go that long without each other!" Kaylie says, dramatically throwing up her hands. It makes Payson crack a smile and in turn, Kaylie beams. "I can even run anymore."
"To be fair, I was practically sprinting to get away from you."
"Thanks a lot, Payson," Kaylie says sarcastically. She lifts her leg backwards at the knee, stretching out her calf. She slowly sets it down and does the same to the other.
The blonde gives her a cute, cheeky smile. "I knew you'd enjoy the honesty."
Kaylie pouts, her signature Cruz pout, and holds her arms open. The way Payson moves in to hug her without the slightest bit of hesitation puts Kaylie at ease. While her relationship with Nicky is constantly shifting, at least she has the comfort of knowing there are always chances with friends. When they pull away, Payson asks if she had a nice Valentine's Day and Kaylie tells her everything about their conversation on the side of the road.
"Tough," Payson says. "You know he's reaching out to Kelly again, right?"
"He told me or at least implied it. Am I wrong to be worried? I understand that Kelly is going through something and he wants to be there for her, but I hate feeling like he puts his friendship with Faith and Kelly above his relationship with me. I'm his girlfriend. I'm supposed to be the starting lineup, the MVP of the starters, but, no, I get benched every time."
"A baseball analogy?" Payson asks. "I know it's hard for you, but I'm sure once he gets everything cleared up with Kelly and they're friends again, things will change for the better."
"I don't know if I can sit around, hoping it does. That might be selfish, but I have to take care of me." Again, Faith Giancana sneaking into her subconscious. "If you like the baseball analogies, the way things are going, we're up to bat, bottom of the ninth, bases loaded and already two strikes. Either we're making it to the World Series or we're striking out."
"I don't know what any of that means." Payson laughs. "My dad watches football." Kaylie giggles. "But I see what you're saying, sorta. I don't know what to tell you, Kaylie."
"Tell me that you and I are back to being friends again. That's all I want right now."
"Kaylie, you and I never stopped being friends."
"Yay. Now tell me we can walk the rest of the way back."
"No," Payson says. "If anything, we're jogging."
"Can we settle on a power walk?"
"Kaylie, don't be lazy."
Payson starts jogging again and Kaylie dragging her body to try and keep up. At least this time it doesn't seem like Payson is trying to intentionally lose her. Once the two cross the old bridge, Kaylie starts to get use to the pace when Payson suddenly stops.
"What's wrong, Pay?"
"Did you mean it? About wanting me to tell you if I knew something potentially harmful about someone you care about?"
Kaylie's gut tightened and her mind instantly goes to Nicky and Kelly. It's a reflex at this point. All of Max and Maeve's hints have groomed her suspicions and she's scared Payson, being a good friend and following their new agreement, is about to confirm it. Kaylie doesn't mean to play stupid, but when she opens her mouth, it just sort of happens.
"Emily or Lo?" Kaylie asks.
"Neither."
Her heart speeds up yet her feet are firmly planted.
"It isn't even a hundred percent," Payson continues, "but at Lauren's party, Austin pointed out some red flags about Maeve and it's just some concerns, not any accusations or anything."
Kaylie relaxes, but not entirely. "Payson, what are you talking about?"
"He just seemed a little concerned about her weight…or lack of it."
"Oh, you mean how she's a twig? Payson, she wants to be a model so she's super food and exercise conscious. It's just how she is." Kaylie doesn't even have to think about it. "Are you trying to say Maeve is anorexic or bulimic or something? That's ridiculous. She wouldn't."
"I'm not saying she is or would," Payson says. "I'm just saying as her friend you might want to keep an eye out. In gymnastics, it was always a well-kept secret. When it happened to a girl, everyone knew, but no one would talk about it. I'd imagine it's pretty similar in the modeling industry. If anything, it's just a precaution."
"I'll keep an eye out. Thanks, Pay."
Payson squeezes her arm. "Now, come on. We have another half mile to go."
Kaylie groans.
"Come on. When we get back I'll get you some cheese to go with your whine."
Kaylie laughs. "Oh, that right there was cheesy enough. Someone's been hanging out with her dad a little too much."
"This coming from the girl who just made a baseball analogy?"
Kaylie laughs. "I guess I just miss my dad when he's away."
"Yeah, me too."
As different as they are, they can also relate on a number of levels. Payson starts jogging again and Kaylie moves right up beside her. After her jog, Kaylie is awake and refreshed. She feels so good she almost doesn't want to go home to the chaos of the Cruz house. Ronnie is stressed out over a party she's throwing for her label at their house, complaining nonstop, working the maids to the bone and threatening AJ if he embarrasses her.
The day goes by at a crawl, especially after the athletic rally. After the last class of the day, Kaylie wants to go home and take a nap, but she has cheer practice and responsibilities as the newfound captain. Kaylie spots Emily at her locker and walks over, avoiding the cheer squad for just a little longer.
"Why so gloomy, Em?" Kaylie asks. Emily doesn't answer, zoning out. "Em? Emily!"
When Kaylie grabs Emily by the shoulders, it startled the taller girl. She quickly relaxes when she realizes Kaylie's the culprit. "Did you say something, Kay?"
"I asked why you look so sad," Kaylie says, tugging Emily close. She watches the way her jaw tenses, probably chewing the inside of her cheek. All Kaylie has to do is steer Emily to a quieter part of the hall and she tells her all about Damon, the flowers and the phone call.
Kaylie squeezes Emily's arm and stands on her tiptoes as she exclaims, "That's so sweet!"
"Sweet? Kaylie, he has no right!"
"Em, he's trying to tell you that he still cares," Kaylie argues.
"But he has no right to," Emily argues. "Damon isn't my boyfriend anymore."
Tilting her head, Kaylie asks, "But maybe he still wants to be?"
"After everything that's happened?" Emily says with an angry edge to her voice. "I don't even know what's happened. He can't just send me flowers and sing me a song and expect me to just forgive him without an explanation. I had to get his number from Jody."
"He sang you a song?" Kaylie just can't help it.
"Alexz Johnson."
Kaylie squeezes her arm again before falling back on the balls of her feet and playfully fanning herself. Emily just shakes her head and laughs.
"I love you, Kay. Our hopeless romantic with the rose colored glasses."
Kaylie hates the way Emily says it like having ideals and being a sentimental dreamer is naive. Kaylie wholeheartedly believes it's possible to have romantic love that lasts forever. Emily's expression says she's giving up, but Kaylie isn't ready to let her.
"Emily, I thought I was done with love after everything that happened with Carter, but then I carried on and then I met Nicky. Don't give up. We're too young to be giving up on love."
"What am I supposed to do, Kaylie? Hold on to some fantasy that if I stick it out in Laguna, Damon will come and rescue me like Cinderella? No. At this point in my life, I think it's better to be grounded and realistic. Having an amazing summer with a mysterious boy and thinking it would last the year? Not grounded. Not realistic."
"So who is realistic for you? That druggie Rodge guy?"
Emily shrugs and Kaylie really doesn't like this.
"Would that be so bad?" Emily asks. Kaylie's jaw drops. She has got to be kidding. "Rodge is from Laguna. He knows what it's like having to fight just to get through the day. He gets me like that. I never had that with Damon. I don't even have that with you or Lo or even Payson."
"And how does love factor into that exactly?"
"Kaylie, I really don't want to talk about this right now."
When Emily starts to walk away, Kaylie grabs onto her bag to reel her back. "Wait, one more thing. Did Damon tell you where he is?"
Emily's expression darkens. "Denver."
Kaylie doesn't know how she should react and gives a squeaky, "Oh."
"And I have no idea why."
"You?" Kaylie tilts her chin down and looks up at Emily through her dark lashes. "Or maybe…my mom?"
"What does your mom have to do with Damon?"
"He signed with Sheppard Records, right?"
"Right," Emily says. "Razor's grandpa owns it."
"Yeah, apparently, they merged with my mom's label so now they're one, big happy family, which means Damon is signed under my mom," Kaylie explains, at least to the best of her knowledge. "He was at my house the other day. He seemed confused when I told him we were friends and I was confused he was even there and it was all just really confusing."
"So he isn't in town to see me."
Emily states it like a fact. For some reason, Kaylie really wants to fight her on it.
"You don't know that."
"Kaylie, it's alright. Do me a favor. Enjoy what you have with Nicky. He likes hanging out with his friends, but he also really cares about you. Just stop second-guessing and be with him. That's all any of us can really do. I don't regret what Damon and I had. Some of my favorite memories are from last summer with him, but that's all it is now. Memories."
"I came over to cheer you up and now you're giving me advice?"
"Seems so." Emily gives her a somewhat convincing smile. "I gotta get home. Cheer practice?"
"Cheer practice, which I'm starting to hate more and more. Lo is so bitter she doesn't want to help me and help is one thing I could use. Oh! But I came over to tell you the good news. Payson and I finally made up. I had to chase her all over the forest, but it worked."
"Finally. Best friends forever," Emily says. Kaylie hugs her because she's just that type of affectionate person and Emily hugs her back until they both notice Maeve marching over and apparently in the worst mood. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Kay."
"Bye, Em."
When they cross, Maeve and Emily don't even acknowledge each other. Sometimes Kaylie wishes her friends could be friends, but she knows they aren't exactly compatible.
"Hey," Kaylie says sweetly. "Why so pissed?"
"What's going on between your other, less amazing bestie and my boyfriend?"
Kaylie is taken aback for a moment. Then she replies, "Nothing."
"That's bullshit. You were too busy dreamboating away with Nicky at the dance, but I saw Lauren Tanner talking to Max. Next thing I know he disappeared from the room and—poof—she's gone too! Then he came back, all disheveled like some little slut's been touching his hair and I asked where he went and he said he was with Shane—obviously a lie. Don't tell me you didn't see them walk out in the middle of the rally together. What's with that?"
"I'm willing to bet it had something to do with the yearbook since they're both on the committee," Kaylie says slowly. "Maeve, you're being paranoid. Max is in love with you and Lauren is always complaining about him and yearbook. He isn't even Lauren's type."
"Really, because I thought other girls' boyfriends is her type." Hearing the venomous dig at her childhood friend, Kaylie gives Maeve a hard look. Maeve receives the message loud and clear. "Fine. I'm sorry. Max has been distant lately and as his girlfriend, I'm worried."
"Even I'm guilty of that. I just don't think you have anything to worry about. You guys are like the perfect couple. If you can't make it then there's absolutely no hope for the rest of us."
"There's no such thing as perfect, Kaylie Cruz. Even if I come pretty close," Maeve says. It's nice to hear her joke. Maeve can be so volatile. Her moods have a tendency to turn on a dime.
"Are you okay, May?" Kaylie asks. "You seem a little pale."
"I went a little lax on the bronzer." As Maeve checks her reflection in her little gold compact, Kaylie studies her with Payson's words in mind. "Kaylie, I see you worrying and I'm telling you now—don't. I'm fine. We're three months away from graduation and we have spring break to look forward to and prom. There's just so much going on. I don't have the time to worry about some girl ruining my relationship with my boyfriend, especially one I tolerate only for you."
"If it makes you feel any better then I'll talk to Lo."
Maeve is visibly excited, even squeezes Kaylie's hand, but then comes down from it almost immediately after. "No, Kaylie, it's fine. I don't want you getting into a fight with your friend over Max and me. I know that friendship is on thin ice as is. You know what? Forget I said anything. I need to talk to Max about it anyways."
"It can't hurt to bring it up, but I'm sure it's nothing."
"You're always so good to me. Love you, Kaylie-cakes." Maeve wraps an arm around Kaylie and kisses her cheek. "Now I'm off to get one of those nerds to do my homework. Text me when practice is over. Me being your chauffer and all."
"Will do."
So maybe Maeve is a little thin, but Kaylie has met her mom and dad and they're both tall and slim. It has to be genetics. Maeve has a close to perfect life. She wouldn't do something stupid and damaging to her body. Payson meant well, but it's messing with Kaylie's head.
During practice, two of the cheerleaders get into a fight over a boy (shocker) and it take a big chunk out of their time when their coach has to break it up and pulls the girls (two flyers) aside for mediation. Kaylie has no control over the squad and it's frustrating. To make things worse, when Kaylie texts Maeve, she says she already left school.
"Need a ride?"
Kaylie is ready to yell at Maeve over the phone for ditching her, but then she sees Nicky smiling sheepishly at her. Kaylie shifts a little and ends the call just as Maeve answers. She might not let it go by unnoticed, but Maeve will understand.
"Hey," Kaylie says carefully. "What are you doing here? Dropping off Faith at Payson's again?"
"No, not at all. I wanted to see you. I know things got a little tense before, after and during the dance. I wanted to talk so I texted Maeve and told her I'd take you home, but not before we stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things."
"Like what?"
"I thought we could cook dinner," Nicky says, with this super sweet, hopeful smile. "Faith and my dad are obsessed with cooking. They like to pretend they have their own cooking show in our kitchen and it's been nonstop homemade pasta fifty different ways. I'm craving tapas and I can't think of anyone who'd appreciate it more than you."
Kaylie smiles at how sweet he's being. "Anything specific?"
Nicky pulls out a slip of paper from his back pocket. "Top secret Morales family dishes."
"Sounds great. I haven't cooked in a while," Kaylie says. "How is Abuela Morales?"
"She sounds good." His face lights up at the mention of his grandmother and Kaylie thinks that's one of the cutest things she's ever seen. "She was giving me a hard time, saying my Spanish is rusty. She also told me that Hector's dad is doing a lot better. She complained about how my abuelo is stubborn and forgetful and never listens to anything she tells him."
"Sounds like someone else I know," she teases.
Nicky playfully narrows his eyes as he opens her door for her and Kaylie gets into his SUV. Something feels different and it's a good different. It feels like Nicky is actually making an effort. She stares out the window and at the highway signs as they drive by.
"Do you ever have those days where you just want to keep going?" Kaylie asks. "You just want to keep driving and leave everything behind, see where you end up?"
"All the time, but I always end up second guessing it. It may not feel like it sometimes, but there's a lot to stay for. You, for one, I'd always end up coming back as long as you're here."
Kaylie can't hide her smile as she says, "Right answer."
"Really?"
"For once," she says, joking, but not really. "So, where's Faith?"
"With Payson, I think. I haven't seen her, actually. I had a big Physiology exam today and she knows I can't concentrate when she's around so she spent the weekend with Payson and she was at Kelly's long enough to piss off Dr. Parker. Payson didn't mention anything?"
"We made up today. We got into a little argument, but it's over now," Kaylie says. That's how friendship should be. "So how do you think you did on the test?"
"Aced it."
She rolls her eyes at how confident he is when it comes to school. "Like I'd expect anything less. And that doesn't convince you that you're a Future Dr. Russo in the making?"
"Still undecided," Nicky says, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.
"Don't you have to decide sometime soon?"
"I don't have to do anything, but, yeah, thinking about it stresses me out. That's what my dad wants. I've been conditioned for a medical career. I'm not squeamish. I can deal with blood and puking. I grew up around hospitals all my life. I want to get out of Colorado, but then there's the thought of turning into my dad and that would suck."
His dad also lost his mom in the most painful way. Both of the Russo men did.
"I'm sure you'll be amazing at whatever you choose." Kaylie slides her hand over his and Nicky laces their fingers. Kaylie wishes it could be like this all the time.
When they get to the grocery store, Kaylie tries to sneak a look at his paper, but Nicky won't let her. She stands by as Nicky inspects the fish and even shows off, giving her little facts about the different types. When they get to her house, they have the entire castle to themselves. A note on the fridge says AJ took Amelia to the zoo.
"Does your brother work?" Nicky asks so bluntly that it makes Kaylie laugh.
"He owns and runs a non-profit. I think he's going to hold an event or something here in Boulder," Kaylie explains, putting the grocery bags down on the kitchen counter. "Okay, are you going to finally tell me what we're making?"
"Patience," Nicky says, rolling a tomato in his hand. "Most Spaniards, my family especially, believes that the country's fish and shellfish taste best eaten in their place of origin, but to me, a meal is only as great as the person preparing it and right now that's me."
"Way high on the arrogant chart," Kaylie teases. "Like a glass of wine to the face arrogant."
"Say what you want, but I know I'm right and we're going to make something awesome, but if I tell you then my abuela would want me to kill you and then she'd kill me. While I do all the secret stuff, you can dice this tomato." He leans in close and gives her a grin. "Princess."
It's both equally infuriating and adorable that he calls her that. While Kaylie takes a knife to the tomato, Nicky explains that they're making Grouper a la Mallorquina (fish with a ton of different vegetables piled atop), spiced clams and ceviche. He tells her a story about all his female cousins dragging him into the kitchen to help them cook even when he'd argue he caught the fish so his job was done. It looks like getting bossed around by girls paid off.
"Kaylie, I said dice the tomato, not torture it." Nicky winces, not even joking. "What happened to your cooking skills from Barcelona?"
"What? Abuela never really let me use knives."
"And I can see why."
She's ready to make a comment when she feels him come up right behind her and loses whatever thought she had. He lines up his body with hers and laughs in her ear that she's going to lose a finger if she keeps doing what she's doing. He uses his careful pianist hands, slowly repositions hers and guides her through the correct way to slice and dice.
"Kaylie?" His hips press tight up behind her and Kaylie suspects she's already blushing.
"Yeah?"
"On Valentine's, when we stopped on the road, I meant what I said. I'm going through a lot right now, but I always think about you and us when it I make decisions. There won't ever come a time where you aren't important to me. I just want you to know that."
"I do." Kaylie wants to believe it more than she actually does, but then Nicky nuzzles his face against her hair, making this insanely sexy sound before he kisses her behind her ear. Seeing and feeling Nicky take the initiative makes her believe a little more.
Kaylie tries to turn to face him, but Nicky has his arms around her waist. He kisses that same spot again and his lips move down her neck. Kaylie presses her lips together before she does something super embarrassing like squeal and just enjoys it.
"Nicky, I—"
But before she can finish her sentence, he turns her to face him and presses his lips to hers. When he squeezes her hips, she parts her lips, wholly surrendering. Kaylie pushes all rational thought aside and kisses her boyfriend because nothing else is as simple as this.
…
Ever since Valentine's Day, Emily has been extra paranoid.
She's afraid she'll run into Damon every time she leaves the house. Though Kaylie made a valiant attempt to argue the idea of her and Damon reuniting and living happily ever after, Emily is less convinced. Damon left her once and she can't go through that again.
"Ray, I'm really tired," Emily says, fixing her phone against her ear. She's stretched out across her bed with Brian on the other side of the room at his desk. "I'm totally about to crash."
"Em, real quick, have a conversation with your brother. You don't even have to talk. You don't even have to listen! Just have to let me rant, mumble some mhmm's and that's good enough for me. I know I take care of my hair, but I'm not that high-maintenance. Please?"
Emily groans. How is she supposed to resist a Razor pitch and with a please attached?
"Henley didn't want to play therapist with you?"
"You kidding? She'd charge me." Razor chuckles. "Henley's in Montana anyways."
"Montana?"
"Yeah, she decided to visit dad," he explains. "Her fancy smancy private school is weird so they're already on spring break, but we aren't talking about Henley here. This is about me."
Emily rolls over onto her back, too tired to argue. "Fine, Ray, what is it?"
"Jody cheated on me with my best friend."
It isn't so much what he's saying, but how he says it, the tremor in his throat that tugs at Emily's heart. She sits up so quick her head spins a little and Brian looks over, asking if everything is okay. Emily gives her little brother a nod of reassurance and sits back against the headboard, cradling the phone to her ear.
"With who?"
"One of my best friends, Em. My bandmate, my buddy, Bats! He's only the drummer of the best high school basement band formerly known as the Sheltered Pups. Bat! His real name is Barnard, which is a horrible name for a human child, even worse than Raymond, but we all call him Bats because, one, in the third grade he came to school for an entire month straight, wearing a Batman costume and it wasn't even October. Oh, and also because he smokes so much pot his brain is scrambled, y'know, batshit. Dude, he hooked up with my girlfriend!"
"Wait, Ray, slow down," Emily says. "When did this happen?"
Pause.
"Christmas."
Emily collapses onto her back. "And were you together then?"
"…No."
"Razor…"
"Emily," he sings back. Actually sings. It's nice, makes her smile a little. "It was horrible! Bats was high—nothing new there—and the kid just starts crying his eyes out over calzones, apologizing to me for making out with Jody at the annual Christmas tree sale while they were in the dugout, smoking and singing the Victorious theme song because apparently that's a show or something that they watch together when she babysits his kid sister!"
"Are they dating now?"
"No, they pretend like it didn't happen, which makes me even angrier because it took a copious amount of weed for my band brother to come clean to me and Jody probably wouldn't ever tell me even when we made out at a party about a month ago. No, she didn't think it was important to tell me even then. Right when you think you know a person, huh?"
"I know the feeling. What are you going to do? Write sad songs and eat pizza in your bed?"
"Probably," Razor says, laughs a little, and Emily's happy she can at least do that much for him. "This bites. I don't even have anyone to tough it out with me. You and Lo are in Colorado and Damon is who-knows-where."
"Damon is here. Well, he's in Denver, but close enough."
"Colorado? Damon Young?"
"Shocking," Emily says flatly. "Something to do with his record label."
"Damon in Colorado? That's weird, but I'm not that surprised he didn't tell me. After all, Jody heard from him before me. I gave him an earful, an earful about how he abandoned me and left me with Bats who's breaking bro code and this hot girl is taking her clothes off for me and I can't touch her because she's in Color—age…er."
"Lo took her clothes off for you?"
Brian looks to Emily from over his shoulder and she throws a pillow at him.
"Maybe," Razor teeters. "Wait, why don't you sound surprised?"
"Because I'm not." Emily giggles. "Texts from you make her day, you know?"
"The feeling's pretty mutual, but what does this even mean, right? Just because we text every day doesn't make it a relationship," Razor says pointedly. At least he's being realistic about it and not fantasizing away. Him and Lauren have that in common.
"At least you two make it a point to keep in touch. It means you care about her just as much as she cares about you. And that, stepbro, sounds like something worth holding on to."
Even though she can't see him, for some reason Emily's sure he's smiling. Curling a lock of her dark hair around her finger, she thinks about the conversation she had with Kaylie earlier. Now she's rooting for Razor and Lauren. Damn. Maybe she is a hopeless romantic.
"Hey, thanks, Em. I really needed this. The house got crazy lame when you left," Razor says. Yeah, Emily misses him too. "I guess I made this conversation enough about me. I'm guessing you knowing Damon's exact location means you've been talking? Have you seen him around?"
"No and I'm praying I don't. It's like, right when I think I'm over him…this happens."
"I am right in that boat with you, stepsis. What's it like in Colorado? Maybe I'll transfer out."
"Four months before graduation?"
"Four months is a long time," Razor argues. "It'd be fun. I could get a job at this lovely Pizza Shack establishment you're always gushing about. Lauren and I can save the texts and have some actual face-to-face time. Then, apparently, grandpa's got a setup in Denver and I'm going to work for him right after I graduate anyways…"
"I know we're playing utopia fantasy here, but Ray, you need to be good to Lauren," Emily says. "Please don't lead her on because that isn't going to work out well for any of us."
"You said it yourself, I care about her. I'm not leading anyone on. If anything, I'm just hoping this is as real as I want it to be. You know me, Em. Heart on my sleeve."
Razor sounds so cute and hopeful talking about Lauren, but she can't ignore the fact that Jody was the main point of this phone call. Maybe it's just Rodge in her head and how those freaky eyes all over Boulder make her think of him and of Gatsby and of life paralleling reality. Whatever the reason, it dawns on her that Razor is fickle like every other boy, like Romeo. Hopefully things work out better for Razor than the boy in the play.
"It's good to hear that some things never change," Emily says warmly. "And I'm sure the only reason Bats even told you is because he really cares about you and being honest with you and Jody…well, I'm not the best with advice when it comes to exes."
"Don't worry about it. Having someone willing to listen is good enough, especially since Dave is out of town. It's just me and mom and Dex home and neither of them are keen on conversing with Ray."
"Aw, how is the pup?"
"Growing," Razor says. "I'll send you pics."
A dorm slams and it draws both Emily and Brian's attention.
"Ray, I gotta go," Emily says, sitting up and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "But this was nice. We should talk more often."
"For sure," Razor agrees. "Take care, Em. Kiss Lauren for me."
"You can do that when you transfer here," Emily jokes. "Before you even consider talking to your mom about it and making her freak out, remember there are no beaches in Colorado."
"Bummer! Em, it's like you just took a sharp stick and stabbed me in the heart. The heart on my sleeve… But you have lakes and stuff. Wakeboarding could be fun."
Emily laughs, wishing she had that kind of optimism. "Bye, Ray."
"Goodnight, sis."
Emily reluctantly ends the call and goes to the door, about to call out to Chloe.
"I cannot believe I had to leave work to pick you up because you got thrown out of another bar! That means I don't get paid for the hours I'm missing and that's money we need, Bruce!"
"Chloe, don't me mad."
"I'm not mad! Just…disappointed."
"I'm sorry. You know I'm sorry. Baby, I'm sorry."
"Bruce, just stop."
"No, you're angry at me 'n I don't want yous to be angry."
"We can talk about this after you sleep it off."
"Chloe, I love you."
"Bruce, we can't keep doing this. I'm barely holding on here and we have the kids to think about and it feels like everything is falling apart around us."
"It don't matter 'cause we have each other. We can make it. I love you."
"I love you too."
Maybe it's everything that's been going on with her lately, how she's wrapped up in negative energy, but when she hears such submission, Emily snaps. She throws the bedroom door the rest of the way open and ignores Brian shouting after her, asking what she's doing.
"Mom, don't tell me you're just going to let him get away with this!" Emily screams. Chloe holds up Bruce, who can barely stand on his own. Bruce's face darkens the way it always does when Emily and him are in the same room. Chloe has an apology spelled out across her face.
"Emily, not now," Chloe says. "Go back to your room."
"Mom, this is ridiculous! He's drunk and you're acting like it's okay!"
"Emily, I know it isn't okay, but this isn't the time to talk about it either."
"But tomorrow you're just going to act like it never happened! You always do! I can't take this anymore! He doesn't love you!" Emily shouts. Really, who is she to say who's entitled to love and who isn't, but Emily is done being agreeable. She's going to say what she thinks. "This whole relationship is toxic. It's cancer. It's killing all of us and you're too blinded to see it!"
"You." Bruce growls, shoves Chloe away and stomps towards Emily.
"Bruce, calm down!" Chloe calls. "She doesn't know what she's talking about…"
Chloe reaches out for him, but Bruce pushes her hands away. "Over and over I tell you to learn some respect, but you never listen, do you? Dissing me is one thing, but your mother? Our relationship? I've had enough of you thinkin' you have some right to run your mouth!"
"Why do you act like you have any authority here?" Emily goes on. Once you light a fuse, it's going to burn until it explodes. "You're a sad old man living a sad life where you don't work, just drink and do drugs. You're just using my mom and my brother! You make me sick."
Bruce lunges, but Chloe pulls him back by his shirt.
"Emily, that's enough."
"I can't believe you," Emily says. "Why are you doing this to us, mom? Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you really think he loves you? Love is just an illusion. It isn't real! It's a nice idea people use to manipulate and use other people. Bruce already left you once. Would it be so bad if he left you again? If you think so, you're just as sad as him."
"Emily, stop it right now!" Chloe shouts, tears in her eyes.
"I'm just giving you a much needed reality check! He doesn't love you! Brian and I, we—"
Slap.
Emily's entire face jerks to the side from the impact and she feels the pain buzz all throughout her cheek, eyes fully glazing with tears. Bruce makes this disgustingly smug sound and Chloe gasps in horror, bringing her hands up in front of her as if she can't believe she just did that.
"Em…Emily…"
Shifting her jaw from side to side, Emily sprints for her room just as the tears break and slide down her cheeks. Brian is behind her, stunned, and Emily bypasses him, hanging her head. Emily grabs her backpack and a duffle, furiously shoving articles of clothing inside. She hears Chloe's heels thunder against the floor, about to confront her, and Emily zips up her bag, grabs both her phones and runs back out, knocking past Chloe as she heads to the door.
"Emily, where do you think you're going?"
She doesn't even bother answering as she throws the front door open and heads out, running on adrenaline, taking the stairs. She calls Lauren and, of course, Lauren agrees to pick her up without even needing an explanation. All Lauren needs is the sound of Emily's broken voice and says she's on her way. It's late and dark out, but Emily is furious and fearless in the moment. Right as she pushes the lobby door open, Emily runs right into someone.
"What the hell, Colorado!"
Emily stumbles back a step and wipes the tears away with her sleeve. "Henley?"
"1969 Pacific Ridge Avenue, Boulder, Colorado, 80330," Henley says, as if reading it off a paper, but no, it's written in her memory. "The least you could have done is answer my calls so you could warn me how cold it is here."
Though she sounds like normal, blunt Henley, something isn't right. She fidgets and doesn't look like she's been sleeping. Without another thought, Emily hugs the tall, pale girl with the long brown hair. When their bodies collide, Emily bursts into tears of frustration because hearing Henley complain and try to pry her off means this isn't another nightmare. It's real.
…
Nicky, if you don't get it together you're going to lose her.
I told you. I'm going to win Kelly's trust back. It'll take time, but I will.
I was talking about Kaylie.
Payson stares at her phone for a second before shoving it into her jacket pocket and turning her attention to MJ Martin. Besides being gorgeous, MJ has such charm and confidence. She really seems to know what she's talking about, which satisfies Kim, and MJ gets bonus points for laughing at Mark's jokes. Contracts are signed at the end of the meeting and Payson Keeler, arguably one of the most coveted gymnasts in the business, has a manager.
From the meeting, Mark has to go straight to the airport, back on the road for work. Kim and Becca tears up as they say their goodbyes in the parking lot. Mark kisses Payson's forehead and tells her to take care of her mom and sister. Payson agrees and takes it to heart.
Right when Kim is about to drive Mark to the airport, Faith comes barreling into the parking lot, wanting her grand goodbye. Mark jokes that the next time he's in town, if Faith is too, they should re-take their annual Keeler Family pictures and include her. In return, Faith jokes that she'll dye her hair blonde just for the occasion. As they drive away, Faith drags Becca into a hug, sensing she needs it, and Payson doesn't move until their family car is out of sight.
As much as Payson wants to spend her downtime hanging out with Faith in the observation room, she forces herself to spend some time with the team that she's supposed to be leading.
"Faith something," Violet says. "I heard she got caught shoving her finger down her throat at gymnastics camp last summer and she was going around telling people the staff made her do it so they paid her off to retire."
Payson's eye twitches at the very thought.
Scarlet's laugh is a nasty sound. "I heard something about fingers, but not down her throat."
"Scarlet, watch it," Violet scolds, laughingly. "She's friends with our captain." Payson looks up from the empty inbox of her phone. Nicky didn't text her back. Scarlet lifts a penciled-in eyebrow and Violet says, "Why else do you think she's here?"
"She seems to know Austin and Conrad," Scarlet says. "Probably sleeping with them both."
Payson is relieved to hear that second part. At least no one is suspicious of her and Austin. As far as Payson's concerned, she's happy to let Faith play red herring.
"If you're done, we should get out there," Payson says. Morning conditioning with the team is the last thing she wants to do, but the sooner they get through the aching repetition the sooner they can hit the apparatus. "Let the countdown to the Boston meet begin."
"We're going to smoke them!" Violet cheers.
"Rule one. Never underestimate the competition." Payson feels a wince, remembering who instilled that golden rule in her competition mentality—Marty.
"Especially Tricia Skilken," Scarlet adds. "Hell hath no fury like a whore scorned."
Payson walks out of the locker room ahead of the others. The more distance the better. Maybe they really are nice girls underneath, but the things they say grind her gears. One of the things she misses most about summer is getting to train with gymnasts she respects.
The day drags on and Payson can see Faith getting antsy. She ends up hanging out in the office with Kim and talking like old friends. When the day starts to wind down, Payson finally gets some time to hang out with Faith.
"You should have printed out a picture from the internet like I told you!" Faith yells at the door marked with the figure of a man. "Austin, if you're going to shave anything into his head I say you make it the Faithism mandate!"
"Faithism mandate?"
"Live every day like it's Faith's birthday. Party like it's my birthday," Faith rap-sings in a deep voice, nodding her head as she hums. "I don't remember the rest, but we could have—"
"AUSTIN, GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT THING!"
"DUDE, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!"
There's buzzing and Conrad whining like a hound dog. Payson smiles. Those are her boys.
"Hey!" Faith shouts at the door. "No having fun without me and Payson! Stop trying to figure out how boys have sex and get it done!"
Leaning back against the hallway wall, Payson checks her phone again, still no reply from Nicky. Payson doesn't even know why she keeps checking.
"So," Payson says, "My teammates think you're bulimic and a money hungry sexual deviant. Apparently, that's how they're explaining your retirement."
"At least they're half right." Faith gives her an impish wink. "Did you correct them?"
"Nope," Payson answers. "Your life is none of their business."
"Payson Keeler, my superhero. I almost wish you told them the truth. At least then I could blame the inadequate sex education in our schools or how I'm sure parental fear of talking about sex with kids is directly linked to high teen preggers rates. Eating disorders is a whole other ballgame. A gymnast doesn't starve herself to look good for her boyfriend or to look how society tells us girls should look. A gymnast does it because she wants her dream so bad she lets the want consumer her. That right there is a whole other level of darkness."
Payson tilts her head, thinking of Maeve Benson and other girls she knew in the past who let the darkness consume them. It makes her sad that she can count so many in her head.
Out of the blue, Austin bursts through the doors, looking rather pleased. "Attention! Introducing G.I. Conman!" The girls wait in anticipation, but no one comes out. Austin slams a closed fist against the bathroom door so it swings open. "Conrad, get out here!"
Conrad peeking an eye out through the crack in the door, shy like a kindergartener on the first day of school. When he finally comes out, his hair is high and tight cut. The hair on the sides and the back is buzzed very close with a slightly longer top portion made neat and even.
"Oh, God, I just fell out of love," Faith says. When Conrad tries to retreat back into the bathroom, Austin doesn't let him. "I'm kidding, Cupcake! Hottest jarhead I ever did see!"
"You look great, Con," Payson assures him.
"I hope so," Conrad says, self-consciously rubbing his hand from the back of his head down to his cheeks that are still scruffy. "No thanks to Austin. He near shaved my ear off!"
"Your ear's fine, but it is more noticeable how gigantic they are. Damn, Dumbo," Austin says, playfully tugging on Conrad's large ears. Payson's never really noticed until now.
That's when the door to the women's bathroom swings open and out comes Lauren with freshly glossed lips. Payson thinks Faith and Lauren mingling went better than expected. Though she knows Lauren and Faith aren't going to hang out it's nice that they're civil.
"Hey, Cowboy," Lauren says flirtatiously. "What happened? Did you try to cut your own hair?"
"Worse. I let Austin do it."
Conrad bashfully curls his shoulders in on himself, touching his head. Payson elbows Lauren who says, "What? With his abs, no one's going to care what's happening on top when you've got it going on down south."
That gets Conrad smiling, showing off his pearly whites.
Austin clicks his tongue. "And you wondered why I warned you to stay away from that one?"
"Stone cold fox." Faith winks at Lauren.
"Anyways, it's been fun, but I should get home," Lauren says. "School tomorrow."
"I'll walk you out," Payson says. After waving goodbye, Lauren and Payson head for the door. Once they're out in the parking lot, Payson asks, "When did you see Conrad's abs?"
"So Nicky and Kelly Parker were like, friends with benefits?"
It's just like Lauren to get straight to business. Payson keeps her mouth shut. She's going to thump Austin later for bringing it up. Lauren stares at her expectantly and Payson knows she won't stop prying until they address it.
"Yes," Payson says. "And before you jump all over me for knowing and not telling Kaylie, this was way before Kaylie met him. And it isn't my place to butt into their relationship."
"It isn't? But it was Kaylie's place to tell you about the Kelly Parker pictures?"
"Those are completely different situations! Every second those pictures were online it was hurting Kelly's gymnastics career, what we've been working towards since we were kids. What's the point of Kaylie know Nicky and Kelly sleep together? I don't want a list of girls Austin's been with and I'm sure you don't want to hear about who AJ's been with or that Razor guy you like. If anything, telling Kaylie is going to make her feel even more insecure and inadequate and Kaylie, who's prone to doubting herself like that, doesn't need it."
"But we're Kaylie's friends," Lauren argues. "Friends don't keep things like this from friends, especially with the way Nicky is apparently trying to be friends with Kelly again. Payson, the longer they're together, the harder Kaylie's going to fall for him and she'll feel like an even bigger idiot when he cheats on her with Kelly Parker."
"Nicky won't."
"He's a guy. Nice to look at and fun to be around, but they do stupid things like cheat."
Payson groans. "Then you really aren't going to like what I did this morning."
"What?" Lauren demands and so Payson tells her about their run and how she texted Nicky.
"What are you doing, Pay?" Lauren asks. "One day you're pushing him to Kelly and the next you're pushing him to Kaylie? This is asking for some sort of wacked out Tree Hill brand love triangle. I'd be impressed if our best friend wasn't one of the pawns in your little game."
"It's not a game. It's not like I'm trying to be manipulative for fun. Everyone, including Kaylie, thinks I'm siding with Kelly, but I'm not. I'm Kaylie's friend too. I can be friends with both. Is it so crazy to think that Nicky can be friends with Kelly and date Kaylie at the same time?"
"Yes, Pay, it is," Lauren says. "Because sex changes everything about a relationship. It sets the tone or changes it and nothing is ever the same after. Trust me. I'd know." She pauses, hesitates and lowers her voice. "It's why I can't be within fifty feet of Carter without feeling queasy and…why I won't ever be able to get AJ out of my head."
Instead of firing off at her, Payson allows for a moment of quiet, of respect. Sighing, she asks, "So what am I supposed to do, Lauren?"
"Stop texting Nicky, obviously," Lauren says, "and just watch where the pieces fall."
Payson feels helpless in this particular situation and she hates it.
"Are you going to tell Kaylie about Nicky and Kelly?" Payson asks. "If you do, that's fine, it's your decision and I can't stop you, but I can't be apart of it either. I know you don't like it, but Kelly is as much my friend as Kaylie."
"Okay, I love you, Pay, but you really need to check your loyalties here," Lauren says. It's ironic that Lauren Tanner is lecturing her about loyalty. "The four of us, we've been best friends, sisters, since before we were born."
Payson knows that's the truth and it will never stop being true or important to her; however, she also thinks about waking up in a hospital bed in Texas and seeing Kelly asleep at her bedside. That summer Kelly Parker broke along side her and something about that, how they made it through together and how they're going to the Olympics together, goes deeper than any of them expected it to. Payson doesn't say anything and Lauren huffs exasperatedly.
"You're right," Lauren says. "Telling Kaylie is just going to mess with her head, but at the same time not telling her is going to mess with our friendship. I don't know what to do, but you'll be the first to hear when I figure it out." Payson is silent, knowing how Lauren can be erratic in her actions. "Pay, you know me calling you Supergirl is just a cute nickname, right? No one expects you to actually do the right thing all the time and save the world."
Lauren hugs Payson before getting into her car and driving away. Payson goes back inside, but her level of happiness doesn't quite match Faith and the boys. It doesn't make her feel better to hear Scarlet and Violet bickering. On top of everything, Sasha is acting weird around her, intensified now that Lauren so blatantly pointed it out, but that's one thing Payson can fix.
Knock. Knock.
"Come in."
"Hi," Payson says, popping her head into Sasha's office.
There it is again. The strange, alarmed expression. "Hello, Payson. What can I do for you?"
"I just wanted to ask…what's going on? Did I do something wrong?" she asks. "I think we both know things have been weird for the past few days and I was just wondering if I did something or didn't do something…"
"Payson, take a seat." Sasha motions to the chairs in front of his desk and she does as he says. "You do recall that the Rock has a no dating rule, correct?"
Payson's heart sinks. Oh crap. They're busted.
"Y—yes."
"And you know why I issued it, don't you?"
"To eliminate any and all distractions."
"Exactly." Sasha leans back in his leather seat, looking down at his desk. He makes talking seem so painful. "And what exactly is your relationship to Austin Tucker?"
Payson squeezes her hands around the arms of the chair. So, so busted.
"We, um, we're friends."
Sasha hums like he knows something and strokes his fingertips across the scratchy little hairs on his chin. "Back in my day friends didn't kiss friends out in the lot."
Payson slides down in her chair, feeling so small. He's Sasha Belov, a legend. He trusts her and she trusts him. The bond between coach and gymnast is unlike any other. The realization that she betrayed him, going against his rules, isn't something Payson is proud of even if her relationship with Austin is worth the way he's judging her right now.
Terrified of what this will do to her relationship with Sasha and everyone in the gym, Payson says the first thing that comes to her. "Please don't tell my mom."
Sasha slouched so they're nearly eyelevel. "So what's going on? And I'd prefer the truth."
"Nothing," Payson says, because, yes, to some extent, it's the truth. "We're just…we like each other, but we both agreed that our whatever-we-are isn't going to interfere with our gymnastics. We both agreed that nothing serious is going to happen before the Olympics."
"Payson." Sasha sighs. She hates the way he's looking at her. Prior, Sasha always regarded her with the utmost respect and now he's looking at her like she's a silly little girl with a grade school crush. "Is that what he told you? He's Austin Tucker. We all know what he's like."
Something about that rubs Payson the wrong way. She sits up and now, having heard the words straight from his mouth, changes the way she sees him. Payson hates the way they're judged on persona, the image commoditize for the world to buy. Payson knows firsthand that Austin isn't the guy the media makes him out to be and she expected more from Sasha.
"With all due respect, Sasha, if you really mean that then you don't know him. There's more to him than his bad boy of gymnastics image. I thought you of all people would understand that."
Sasha looks away for a moment and Payson knows she hit the right button. He laces his fingers and gives her a hard stare, leaning over his desk. Payson looks into his dazzling blue eyes and though she expected judgment, she's met with something like agreement.
"Okay," Sasha says. "I'm going to need you two to be more discrete. No more PDA in the gym, outside, in public in general. You can pass that along to Austin. I personally think it would be wise to tell your mother, but rest assured, if she finds out it won't be from me."
Payson slowly lets out a breath. "So what's my punishment?"
"I can't exactly demand you break up with him if you aren't dating now can I?" Sasha says. There's something of twinkle in his eye. "Consider this your warning."
"Thank you, Sasha. So this mean there won't be any more weirdness, right?"
He gives her a nod and a silent promise that he'll make the effort. Payson walks out of the office, feeling lighter than she did coming out of that parking lot conversation with Lauren.
"Everything okay?" Faith asks. She's on the side, only in these socks with yellow stripes and a green blushing frog design over the toes, as Becca prances around in her Italian leather boots. As she sits next to her, Faith can tell Payson doesn't want to talk about it and quickly says, "Pace, I might have accidentally told Becks about your girl moving in on Becca's man."
"What?"
"Lauren," Becca says. Faith's boots only look to be about a size or two bigger. Despite this, Becca takes a moment to admire how they look on her feet.
"Lo isn't moving in on anyone," Payson reassures her.
"You never know. I saw the Livestream," Becca pipes in.
Faith giggles. "Who didn't?"
"Okay. We're out of here." Payson motions for Faith to get her boots back on. "Becks, I'm going with Faith. You'll remind mom for me, right?"
"Sure."
Once Faith is back in her boots, they leave the gym in Kelly's car and head to the lake house. It's beautiful and modern with plate glass that stretches from the ceiling to the floor and only a short walking distance to a little dock on the lake. It's basically a giant playground with X-Box controllers and games scattered all around the living room in front of the flatscreen, along with Nerf guns, footballs, basketballs and even a hoop hanging from the second landing.
As Austin works his magic in the kitchen, Faith and Payson sit together out on the back patio, sharing one of the couches that surround the firepit with a thick blanket thrown over them. It isn't too cold out, just a little chilly, but it's nice and relaxing after a tiresome day in the gym.
"I think if they got to know each other, Uncle Mark would like Austin. They can cook meat and other manly things together." Faith giggles. "I don't know how open your dad'll be to you dating Aus, but I think if you introduce him to the family and let them see how you two are together and ease into it then it'll be cake."
"It's just weird. I never had to think about any of this before."
"Falling in love is the easy part," Faith says. "Figuring out all the shiz that comes with it—not so much…or so I'd assume. I know I threw the words around a lot with Charlie, but looking back on it, no. My first love isn't going to be a guy who didn't respect me enough to let me have a say in my own decisions. I want my first to be mutual. I think we can put the ol' Smolderetti in the infatuation box. It's a steadily growing population."
"That would make Conrad mayor of the infatuation box," Payson teases, making Faith giggle through her sad recollection. "Speaking of, where did he go?"
"Probably showing Ava his new haircut in secret."
"Ava?"
"Tucker," Faith answers. "Austin's sister?"
"Ah, the sister Austin only ever mentions briefly and never by name?"
"That's the one. Austin never talks to me about her either," Faith says. "They've never met in real life, Conrad and Ava, but they talk online. It's so innocent. Cute. And don't tell Aus because he'll go all Big Brother and ruin it. If you think he's protective of Kelly and raps on Nicky, he'd probably rip Conrad's spine straight out like in Predators."
"I don't know what that means."
"Stop being so cute."
"Conrad and Ava?" Payson asks. "What about Jackie Nevada?"
"Who the hell is Jackie Nevada?"
The glass door slides open and their army bound boy crawls under the blanket covering the two girls and squishes his way between them. Once comfortable, his long arms stretched out along the back of the couch behind them, Conrad says, "You ladies care to share a fine evening with me under the stars?"
"Well," Faith says snootily, "Payson and I were having an intimate moment, sharing a blanket and feelings, then you came over and ruined it like a giant human cockblock!"
"That's unfortunate. Faith, you know you're my girl, but Austin is my bro and Payson and him got this cute little setup and, well, I live in the guy's house. I gotta look out for him, especially when the cute little bisexual one comes flirting along, sharing a blanket with his girl."
Faith starts hitting him and Conrad bursts with laughter. "Whoa now, settle down! I won't tell Austin about this one time. Mind if I watch? I should probably take notes."
"You're such a tool. It isn't fair such a sexist tool is so cute," Faith grumbles. When she gets bored with hitting him, Faith leans into Conrad and he wraps his arm around her. "Actually, Connie, I was just telling Payson about your emotional involvement with Austin's sister."
Conrad suddenly straightens and looks back over to the house where Austin is cooking inside.
"Dang, girl, don't even," Conrad warns. Faith and even Payson laugh. "At least be quiet about it. We don't need the details of my love life echoing across the lake."
"Love life?" Payson asks. "How emotionally involved are we talking?"
"Puppy love," Faith teases. "Payson, they fall asleep on Skype together."
"Breaking news: I care if she lives or dies," Conrad says. "So we talk n' stuff." He nods to Payson. "Ava asks about you a lot. I tell her the truth. You're way too good for her brother."
Though he's obviously joking, there's this protective edge to his voice. Austin is the same towards Faith and Kelly. It's nice to know someone has her back like this.
"Aw, Con, as if you don't love Austin," Faith teases. "How badly are you going to miss him?"
Conrad clutches his chest. "Like my heart forgets to beat when we're apart too long."
"Boys who aren't afraid to admit they love their boys. How precious is that?" Faith coos.
"You romanticizing my life, now that's precious." Conrad ruffles Faith's hair and she shakes with laughter, trying to get away from him. "You make it sound like I live a soap opera."
"You do!" Faith insists. "The mysterious thing with Kelly, the online affair with Ava, shameless flirting with Lauren Tanner, burning CDs for Emily Kmetko and whatever a Jackie Nevada is."
"She's a she, not a whatever," Conrad says defensively. "That's the love of my life you're talking about. Have some respect, Tiny."
"Who you callin' Tiny?"
"Have you told her you're enlisting yet?" Payson asks. "Jackie."
Conrad turns away and his expression goes steely. That's a no.
"Do you have a picture?" Faith asks. Payson lightly slaps her arm. "What? I need proof this is a real person and not a sad attempt to distract me from asking about him and Kelly."
Conrad laughs at Faith's serious face. "Pay, your girl asks me this all the time."
"And all the time you give me that cute smile and tell me you don't kiss and tell," Faith says. That's news to Payson. "Conrad, you may be my boy and Austin may be your bro, but Kelly Parker is my soul mate. We're inevitably going to grow up and marry hot guys or whoever and have super hot kids and they're all going to have to deal with the fact that Kelly and me are forever. So I need to know because I'm nosy and also because she's the love of my life."
Faith and her rambling honesty is one of her most endearing qualities. Her cards are always on the table…minus the sneaky one she keeps up her sleeve.
"I didn't get none of that," Conrad says. "Pay, did you get what she's going on about? I swear girlfriend was talking a different language at one point." Conrad yanks his phone out of the breast pocket of his flannel shirt and pulls up a photo. "Yes, Jackie Nevada is a real girl."
Faith gasps dramatically and steals his phone away for a better look. Payson leans over her shoulder, just as curious. The girl in the photo, wrapped up in Conrad's arms is downright hot. Full figured with glossy brown hair, big brown eyes and a little pink mouth, wearing flannel and cowboy boots. Payson can't help, but notice how happy they look together.
"She is hot!" Faith shouts. "And has boobs! How much did you pay her to pose for this?"
"Hey, I got some game. Copyright Conrad Cooper charm," Conrad says. "Jackie and I met the summer I tore my ACL and stayed with my brother, retired physical therapist gone farmer. She's from Kentucky, but she'd spend summers on her aunt's farm in Texas, right across from my brother's. She was something else. That girl wrote her name on my heart and my shoe."
Conrad shows them the bottom of his boot, where Jackie is written, faded, but enduring.
"Where is she now?" Payson asks.
"University of Colorado Boulder," he replies. "As stupid as it probably is, Jackie being here might have something to do with why I agreed to train with Marty and move to Denver."
"When's the last time you saw her?" Faith asks.
"Last summer back in Texas."
"Conrad!" Faith shouts and shakes his arm.
"What? We were never boyfriend-girlfriend. We'd just spend summers together. I was always busy with gymnastics and she had her own life back in Kentucky so we kept it simple. Now I hear she joined a sorority and dates Omega Delta Pie douche bags."
"And you aren't going to tell the love of your life that you enlisted in the army?" Payson asks.
"Probably not."
"Why?"
"She's the only one who can make him stay," Faith says. "Ultimately betraying his country."
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't give Austin any ideas," Conrad says. "I like him better when he thinks I'm getting over Jackie and that setting me up with Kelly Parker is a good idea."
"So if you're still hung up on this Jackie Nevada chick, what happened with you and Kelly?" Faith asks. "Call my Kelly a rebound and say goodbye to your pretty face, Cupcake. If you don't give me answers I will not hesitate to tell Austin that you're long distant seducing his—"
"Fine!" Conrad gives in. "I'd say more than anything I ever did with either of you, but a lot less than Jackie, who took my virginity in a barn."
Faith grumbles. "Dude, that's like saying it's a number between negative-seven and infinity!"
"That's the point." He grins. "I'd gladly tell you, but I promised Kelly I wouldn't. Honestly, it was pretty embarrassing for the both of us. She obviously wasn't over Jerk-Off and I'm obviously not over Jackie." Payson sympathetically hugs his arm and even Faith frowns. "Now, Faye, I love you, I do, but if you keep bugging me about Kelly Parker, I'll tell Aus what happened to his autographed Burt Hurst Sox card."
"Conrad! You promised you wouldn't! It was an accident!"
"Those sound like fighting words, darling."
Both Faith and Conrad eye a water gun on the nearby table. They both lunge for it. When Faith beats him to it, Conrad runs towards the house. Faith chases him inside and Payson laughs when she hears Austin yell at them. Payson goes inside to make sure no one actually kills anyone, avoiding puddles as she does. When she walks into the kitchen, which smells amazing, Payson can't help, but laugh at Austin, a streak of water soaked into his gray t-shirt.
"Casualty in the war of the water guns?" Payson teases him.
"Oh, you could tell?" Austin swipes his fingers through his dark hair and wipes the back of his hand across his face. "But at least she let me know that she didn't mean to get me and it wasn't her fault Conrad wouldn't keep still."
"But even if Conrad wasn't in the equation, it's Faith," Payson says, looking through the little window in the oven and whatever Austin has cooking in there. "Nothing is ever Faith's fault."
"True." Austin gives her a sly smile and reaches out for her. Instinctively, Payson moves towards him, but then frowns at his wet shirt. "I can take care of that," Austin murmurs, reaching for the edge and pulling the thin, stretched material up halfway, but Payson stops him and fixes it back down. "What? Keeler, I'm gonna catch a cold."
"You're telling me that your health depends on you wearing a shirt or not?" Austin nods yes and Payson shakes her head no. "You really are one of those guys who takes off their shirts at every opportunity, aren't you?"
"I don't understand why that's a bad thing. Well, I'm sorry, Pay, I like you a lot, but don't think this is going to be one of those relationships where you're going to come in and I'm going to change everything about my life because you let me kiss you."
"Wow. When you said you were devout to Faithism you weren't joking, were you?" Payson smiles at his little self-assured rant. He still has his arms crossed, fingers curled under the edge of his shirt and Payson relents. "Fine, Austin, you can take your shirt off."
"I love that you respect my wants." Austin pulls his shirt off and wipes his face with it. Because she's only human, Payson stares at his hard, tan abdomen, but only briefly. Watching her, Austin whispers, "You can look if you want."
"How are you so good at that?"
"Walking around shirtless?" Austin asks. "Kinda like my God-given talent, I guess. I always say, hey, if gymnastics doesn't pan out, there's always modeling. That's doable."
"I mean, how are you so open all the time? I don't know if I could ever, but apparently, I'm supposed to if I want my career to go anywhere. At least, that's what MJ says."
"Walking around shirtless?" Austin asks. Payson wrinkles her nose and hits his bicep with the heel of her palm. "It's all about thinking you're the coolest person in the room, which you are, knowing that you're a badass, which you should, and owning it. Confidence, which you have, especially when you're in gymnastics mode, just turn down the focused and let them see you or the you that they want to see."
Payson twists her fingers together, not exactly secure in her ability with this aspect of her sport, the surface part and essentially selling herself to the world. "You really think I can?"
"Keeler, I just called you the coolest person in the room and I'm in the room."
When Payson tries to hit him again, Austin pulls her in closer. His face softens and he looks as close to serious as Austin Tucker will ever be. "Listen, about earlier, dropping the KP and Jerk-Off bomb in front of your friend, I—"
"Nope," Payson says. "Put your shirt back on."
"What? Why?"
Payson pushes him away from her. "I'm not talking to you about Nicky and Kelly and serious things while you're not wearing a shirt."
"Pay—"
"I love that you respect my wants," Payson says. Austin frowns at his soggy shirt and walks out. When he appears in the doorway, he's wearing a thick winter coat with a fur-lined hood. Payson's smile dissolves with her laughter. "You look ridiculous. Whose is that?"
"Don't know. It got left here at our last party. I feel like an Eskimo, but I'm respecting your wants." Austin slides down into one of the chairs at the dining room table and nudges the seat across from him, an invitation for Payson to join him and she does. "Like I was saying, I'm sorry if I let the cat out of the bag. I didn't know she didn't know."
"It's okay," Payson says. "Lauren and I talked about it in the parking lot and she wasn't happy, not at all, but you didn't know. I can't blame you for that." She turns her hand over, palm up, her own invitation, and Austin takes it, sliding his fingers through hers. "Plus, we have bigger things to worry about."
"Oh, you mean Faith trying to steal your affection? Conrad told me."
Payson tugs on his fingers, warning him that it's time to be serious. Austin doesn't tease anymore, just moves his fingers through hers. He knows.
"Austin, Sasha knows about us."
Slowly, the corners of his lips turn down and his expression drops. Payson stares at their joined hands as she tells him about their talk in the office earlier.
"You know, if Sasha did reinforce the 'no dating, no fun' rule, I'd pack up my shit and get the hell out before you'd ever have to find a new gym," Austin says. "It doesn't matter where I'd end up. I'd make sure you'd never have to leave the Rock."
"That isn't fair to you."
"It's cool. I know we're supposed to have this whole Rock family gym pride vibe, but to me it's just a place where I get to go to work on my gymnastics, hang out with my friends and see you. I could do that even without the Rock, but I know what it means to you. It's where you grew up, practically your home and I wouldn't take that away from you."
Filled with the sudden urge to, Payson leans up in her chair and kisses him because he can't say things like that, so sincere and so strong, and not expect to be kissed. As they pull away, Austin briefly presses his forehead to hers and Payson opens her eyes to see him smiling.
"Can I take this stupid coat off now?"
"Yes, Austin, you can take the stupid coat off now. Be free and shirtless."
"Thank God." Austin throws the coat off and lets it hit the ground. It's no wonder why the entire house is a mess. "So are things going to be awkward around Sasha now?"
"I hope not. I told him we aren't like a couple-couple and he took it well, I think."
"Wait, we aren't?"
Payson freezes and her eyes go wide, searching every inch of Austin's face. The disappointment in his eyes hits her hard and it freaks her out. Payson starts rambling about how they promised they'd put their careers first and while she's getting tangled up in her words, a smirk slowly makes it's way to Austin's face. When he starts laughing at how adorably frazzled she is, Payson finally realizes what he's doing.
"Gotcha, Keeler."
"That wasn't funny!" Payson scolds him, slapping his bare arm with her hand.
"It was a little," Austin says, earning another slap on the arm. "But cute, really cute."
Payson pretends she isn't amused and that's when they hear a loud thud from above.
"AUSTIN, FAITH BROKE YOUR WATER BED!"
"NU-UH! IT WAS CONRAD'S BONEY ASS!"
Austin sighs and his shoulders drop, their nice little moment ruined. He tugs on Payson's hand, thinking to bring her with him. "C'mon. Dinner's got another ten minutes in the oven. Let's go see what destruction the animals caused this time."
"Remember, it's never Faith's fault even if there's a strong possibility it really is."
"I don't know about this one," Austin argues. "Conrad does have a boney ass."
"I don't even want to know how you know that."
Austin wraps his arm around Payson as they walk to the stairs.
As an afterthought, Payson asks, "You have a water bed?"
"Yes, I do or did depending on what went down when we left those two alone," Austin replies. Leaning down to her, he laughs. "If we were a couple-couple, you'd know that."
And every time Payson shoves him away, Austin just laughs and pulls her closer.
…
Authors' Note: A thousand apologies! We're aware this is late! We also want to point out that this is the longest chapter of the story so far. So you'll have to forgive us since this is where we hiatus! We aren't sure when the next chapter is going to be posted, might be next week, might be in two weeks, but we'll keep you updated via Twitter or review replies.
Review.
#WeFaB #LLD2 #LLDforever
