Chapter Fwee - Out there, somewhere, is motorcycle.
Echo panted heavily as he ran through the forest, wishing he wasn't randomly drunk. He glanced over his shoulder to see that at least five golden parrots were flapping breezily through the trees towards him. Knowing that he would have no chance of survival if he continued this for much longer, Echo turned sharply, then leapt behind a rocky outcrop, where he stopped, panting. He watched cautiously as the parrots flapped past him, until he couldn't see them anymore because he went blind for seventeen seconds.
"Well, good thing that's over." he said to himself.
Then a motorcycle exploded.
Somewhere in Ontario.
But that didn't matter. (Why did you think it mattered?) Right now, Echo was climbing his way up the rocky outcrop for a better look at his surroundings. Suddenly, he continued to climb his way up the rocky outcrop for a better look at his surroundings. Once at the top, which protruded out of the treetops slightly, Echo was able to see, ahead of him, what looked like a jet plane. Of course, Echo was drunk, so many things could look like jet planes. In reality, it was actually a massive glass dome.
The pterosaur aviary? thought Echo. Maybe one of the pteranodons there could explain a thing or two about what's going on.
He climbed back down from the rocky outcrop, onto the grass again, and began making his way towards the aviary. Along the way, he encountered a pop star, but nobody cares. Suddenly, as he was nearing the big glass dome, he tripped. Then he stood up and continued on his way. He passed a tree with green leaves. Its trunk was made of an extremely suspicious-looking material that resembled wood, when in reality it was actually the secondary xylem of trees and shrubs. Although, Echo could've sworn it was a porous and fibrous structural tissue found in the stems and roots of trees and other woody plants, but he had been mistaken before.
Then he stepped from the brush and found himself standing in front of the massive aviary. It was a beautiful circular dome with smooth, clear glass. Echo smirked and tipped his hat, saying "Gooday, madam." with a curt bow.
"What a gentleman!" exclaimed the aviary, and Echo couldn't help but notice that its cheeks had gone red.
Echo was growing tired. This conversation had gone on for far too long. He tossed his hat from his head, and his face grew serious. "Alright, buster. I'm not here for sweet-talk. Explain yourself. What's going on here?"
The aviary reared back in surprise, then rightened its scarf. "I haven't a clue what you're talking about!" it said.
Echo sighed and rolled his eyes. "Look - I'm as drunk as Barry B. Benson right about now, and it's only a matter of time before the insanity of this plot spreads out across the entire story. So, unless you want your glass shattered, I suggest you speak now."
"You wouldn't dare!" gasped the aviary.
Echo just snarled.
"Alright, alright!" said the aviary, caving in. It sighed. "Here's the whole story, from the beginning. I-"
"Meh, stories are boring." said Echo. He turned and strutted off.
The aviary was silent for a few moments, then turned and ordered, "Seize him!"
Echo swung around to see twelve and a half pteranodons soar out from the aviary and, before he knew what was happening, they had gotten firm grips around his shoulders and lifted him up into the air. He screamed as the pterosaurs carried him away into the clouds, and he blacked out.
By the time Echo had awoken, he was awake already, and appeared to have been taken to a nest that was balanced atop a massive stone column sticking straight up. It must have been inspired by Bee Movie, because the nest was poorly made. It was full of eggs, but upon further investigation he realized that they were purely plastic. Then, on his right, Echo saw a hammer. But then it was drawer. Echo blinked, and it flew away in fear. Then, as he watched it flutter away, he heard a gruff voice at his left.
It said, "Silhouette is a hard word to spell."
"Not if you spell it enough!" countered Echo, and the gruff voice cowered in fear. Then Echo's entire mood shifted. It might have had something to do with being infinitely drunk. "Who are you, anyway?" he asked in Morgan Freeman's voice.
Then the gruff voice revealed himself. Echo gasped as the pteranodon swooped into view, a beige hat atop its head, shades covering its eyes. It landed in front of Echo.
"Dodgson!" Echo gasped.
The pteranodon glanced around warily. "You shouldn't use my name."
"Dodgson, Dodgson!" Echo yelled. "We've got Dodgson here!"
Dodgson the pteranodon visibly cringed. Except that's impossible, so he didn't. (I'm just trying to be realistic here.)
"See?" said Echo. "Nobody cares. Nice hat." he added, grabbing the hat from atop Dodgson's head and putting it on his own.
Suddenly, an extraordinarily long tongue burst from the pteranodon's mouth, which wrapped around Echo's neck, lifting him into the air. He struggled to breath. Another tongue burst from his mouth and slithered through the air, nabbing the hat from Echo's head. The tongue then proceeded to return to its owner and set the hat atop his head.
Lewis Dodgson then proceeded to say, "Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, raptor."
"AckckskaekkshjfahfksgjdrhnlgkAJFIKDG..." choked Echo.
"You listen here," Lewis continued. "Nobody, and I mean nobody, touches the hat." He released Echo, allowing him to fall.
Echo panted for breath, but he managed to say, "You're the only character in this story I wish wasn't reoccurring. And you're probably just a cameo, too."
"Well, too bad," replied Lewis, putting his wings on his hips. "If you wanna complain to anyone, complain to the author."
Echo laughed. "I'd love to! Because I must say, this chapter is dreadful! It's extremely messy, it contains so many unexplained scenarios, and don't forget the fact that nobody reads the darn thing anyway!"
Lewis blinked and tilted his head. "How does that have anything to do with the chapter?"
"It doesn't," Echo said. "I'm just complaining, is all."
Dodgson rolled his eyes. "When are you not complaining?" he mumbled.
"I heard that!" Echo said.
"No you didn't."
"Oh."
Suddenly, a torpedo made of pure insanity came zooming out of the fog.
"Oh crud...it's a torpedo make purely out of insanity, as the previous sentence stated!" exclaimed Echo. He turned to Lewis. "This is your doing, isn't it?"
"I prefer to call it...ze randomness delicioso," said Lewis in an offensive French accent. He made the 'a-okay' sign with his hand. "Ah, telle une délicatesse exquise."
"Welp, I don't really want to become a maniac, so..." said Echo. He saluted to Lewis and said, "So long! Or should I say 'si longtemps'!" before leaping off the edge of the peak that stuck straight into the air and down into the fog.
Dodgson ran to the edge and stared down. "Ami! Ami, wait! AMI!" Then he turned and spotted the torpedo. Except, now it was a layered cake that was likely lemon flavoured. It was also covered in grenades. Lewis gasped, "Mamma mia!"
And then he blew up.
