I am so elated with all the reviews and alerts! I'm glad you guys are following along despite the many cliffhangers I leave you with. I can't help it though. I'm just in love with the chase!!

I haven't touched up on Edward's point of view yet and I'm sure you are all dying to hear how he feels even though it is clearly written on his face.

Enjoy! Oh and please review! They make me want to update faster!

Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight;; I just take her characters and pull them through antagonizing situations.

EPOV

"Edward what is it?"

I looked at her for what seemed like eternity before answering.

"Nothing, bells" I said turning to kick the car back into drive. Within seconds we were on the road.

I was a coward. I had spent weeks preparing for her birthday; planning every second…the necklace, the picnic…Even Emmett, her brother, knew about it. This was supposed to be the day that I confessed my unrelenting love for Bella. Yet here I was…backing out like the coward I truly was. At first I had convinced myself that it was Bella's friendship that had kept my mouth shut all this time. The idea that if we didn't work out our relationship would be lost and I would lose her forever. But as I drove down the winding roads of Forks, listening to the windshields wipe away at the now violent downpour, I realized that it was her rejection that kept my desires at bay. The idea that she did not love me back was something I knew I could never mend from. So if she wanted to pretend that nothing happened, I would gladly concede. At the end of the day her solution wasn't rejection, and for that I silently slid my mask of a lie back on.

*****************************************************

By the time we got to my apartment complex, it was raining so hard I could barely see five feet ahead of me.

I looked at Bella who had been silent for the remainder of the ride. She kept her eyes on the dashboard but I could see the pain in them. I knew she was afraid of losing my friendship but somehow her expression made it seem as though there was more…and that scared me.

We sat in silence for a couple of seconds.

Finally I shut the engine off and removed the keys. The abrupt sound brought her eyes to mine before quickly averting them back to the dashboard.

"Bella, I don't like the idea of you driving home in this weather." I whispered, " I'd drive you home myself but I can barely see through the rain. You can stay the night again."

"Are you sure?" she said turning to meet my gaze. The look of pain that stretched across her face made my heart drop and all I wanted to do at that moment was reach across and hold her in my arms. I managed to succeed in lightly gazing her cheek.

"Of course Im sure Bella."

It wasn't much of an answer but it seemed to put her at ease. I handed her my jacket and we quickly glided through the rain and up to my apartment.

************************************************************

When I woke up, the memories of the day before bombarded into my head.

Bella.

The meadow.

The car ride home.

I stretched my muscles one last time as I tried to push yesterday's thoughts from my head. Usually Bella would have been sound asleep next to me. Her head embedded in a pillow, her mahogany hair trailing along her back…my arm draped around her waist… But last night she had insisted on sleeping in my guest room leaving me to wallow alone in my stupidity.

How could I have managed to get her shirt off in minutes but could not muster up enough energy to tell her three simple words?

I quietly made my way to her door. I tapped once.

No answer.

I tapped again.

No answer.

I figured she was still asleep. I smiled to myself as my brain began to rack through memories of waking up to her on days like this…minus the drama. I would spend minutes just ravishing at her beauty, memorizing every freckle. She was beautiful even when she slept.

I opened the door, half expecting her soft body to be nestled in the comforter but instead, I found the bed to be empty.

Placed on the side dresser was a piece of paper that had been folded several times.

I made my way into the room and picked up the note. I smiled as Bella's chicken scratch appeared in short and jumbled sentences.

Edward,

I had to open early at the bookstore. We'll figure this out soon…I promise.

Love Bella

I sighed as I realized that her means of figuring it out were very different from mine. Figuring it out to her meant pushing yesterday's events behind us. And that was the last thing I wanted to.

As I sat cradling her note in my hands, I couldn't determine which would be harder: telling Bella we should remain friends or telling her I loved her. Both options bounced in my head, each pummeling into each other as their weights fell heavily to either side. If I remained Bella's friend, I would have to keep pretending to not want more. I would have to see her eventually fall in love with another man and give him all the things that I longed for. To watch her live in her happiness as I died in my pit of hell. Or I could tell her that I was in love with her. She could confess her own desires and I would love her the way I knew no other man could. I would marry her and bring a smile to her face every day that we lived and she would do the same. We would have kids that had my wild bronze hair and her chocolate brown eyes. We would be happy.

But if she didn't return my love, I'd most definitely lose her. Because a friendship could not ride on that type of confession.

So it was one or the other.

Love or friendship?

To say that I was torn would have been an understatement.

BPOV

"You almost had sex with my brother!!!?"

I rolled my eyes as Alice continued to interrogate me on the other end of the line.

"Alice please. Nothing happened I just got a huge wake up call that's all." I sighed as I turned to place another book on the cart that I was tugging behind me. Today was Thursday which meant that we had to restock.

"What does that mean? Did you tell him Bella. Oh, please tell me you finally told him."

"No I didn't" I whispered as I craned the phone further into my ear while balancing a book with my other hand.

"Wait," she said slowly, "so you almost made love to him but you didn't even mention that you're in love with him."

"Yep" I said nonchalantly.

It's amazing how after something pivotal occurs that the following days can linger on as normally as they usually do. Even though I was at the brink of losing my best friend from a lapse of controlled desires, my mind was somehow still able to rack through the Dewey decimal system with little to no effort. I had trained it well. Or maybe the only reason I could calmly have this conversation with Alice without bursting into tears was because I had no tears left to cry. Sobbing into Edward's pillows in his guest room all night had completely drained me. It was almost as if I were numb. And to be quite honest, I didn't mind.

"That makes no sense," she said firmly, redirecting my attention.

"Alice… I just want to forget it ever happened. We just got lost in the moment.. I just want us to get back to normal. You know, back to good old Edward and Bella."

"Well the good old Edward and Bella," she sneered,"don't have make out sessions in the middle of the woods."

"Bye Alice" I said exhausted.

"Wait!!" she screamed into the phone before I had a chance to snap it shut. "You're still going with me to Heather Sinclair's party tonight right?"

I cringed as I remembered that Edward had also gotten an invitation to the party almost a week ago. I wasn't sure I could see him just yet if I wanted this numbness to stay around for much longer.

"Um Alice I don't know…I don't have a date and he'll be there and.." I trailed on, grasping at any excuse I could formulate.

"Bella, it will be fine. I'll bring someone for you and we can all go together. Her house is humongous, you probably won't even bump into him."

"Okay" I sighed. There was really no point in arguing with Alice. She would always win.

"Okay good. Just remember to come home as soon as your done so I can get you looking sexy!"

"Bye Alice!" I said a final time, flipping my phone shut.

I took in a deep breath as I examined all the books I had left to restock.

This was going to be a long day.

I was about to continue when my phone buzzed again.

My breathing hitched as Edward's name flashed across the screen.

I know its short but just wait for Sinclair's party!! I see people making huge strides…hopefully in the right direction.