Clarke couldn't help but feel a little nervous as she finished preparations for her final booking of the night. Ever since she'd been called up earlier that morning to go over the details, it'd been a little nerve-wracking, it counting for two personal 'firsts' during her brief career so far as an escort. She'd never had a client book an all-nighter before; girlfriend experiences, sure, but never any that bought up such large chunks of time. It was both exciting, and a little scary, but she'd been prepping most of the day for it, and was looking forward to the second half of the payment, since she'd asked for fifty percent up front, reserving such a large chunk of time and all. It hadn't taken long for Clarke to understand that a lot of potential clients were flakes, and wasting time to flakes meant losing earning opportunities.

The second new aspect to it, the one that had Clarke more nervous, was that the client was a woman. She'd never had a woman client before, and she only had stories to go by; as with any customer service stories, the negative ones tended to outnumber the positives, and it had her hopeful that her client wouldn't try to push her boundaries, thinking just because she was a woman, it was any different than with the men who she accepted bookings with.

Still, it was exciting, and she felt pretty safe in her apartment and with Nyko downstairs. So as Clarke lit the final candle, she closed her eyes and breathed out, imagining all her concerns leaving her body, letting her focus on the here and now. It was eight fifty-six, and Megan Wolters, her client, would be here soon, and Clarke could only hope she'd manage the emotional labour as well as she imagined she would.

Clarke checked herself in her mirror and grinned, feeling she'd kind of knocked the aesthetic portion out of the park. Megan had asked that she dress for a nice date night indoors, and so she'd cobbled together this nice little off-shoulder sweater dress outfit that was cute at first glance, but showed off more thigh than was probably otherwise appropriate, and the dress was stretchy enough for her to push down to either remove it or give easier access. Add some nice accessories and a pair of heels that made her entire lower half look fantastic, and she was golden.

A knock at the door had Clarke feeling fortunate she'd just given herself a confidence boost, quickly checking her hair one last time before striding over to the door and pulling it open.

Only to find herself immediately lightheaded and panic-stricken at the sight of Lexa Pocosin at her door instead of Megan.

Shit shit shit shit! What the fuck is Lexa doing here?! God fucking damn it this can't be happening! She raged internally, unsure how at all to handle this when her brain was caught between deciding to vomit or faint. She'd looked Megan up, she'd seen her pictures on Facebook, and a cursory glance down the hall either way revealed the area to be Megan-less. Except, there was no way Lexa could just wander up to her floor, not with the elevator under lock and key, and needing Nyko's aid to be let up.

"Clarke? What are you...do I have the wrong..." Lexa stammered out, leaving sentences incomplete as the answers likely became perfectly clear. That Clarke was there because it was her place, that Lexa definitely had the right room number, by how green eyes darted to the golden numbers over the peephole on her door before not so subtly glancing down her body.

Suddenly, Clarke was very happy she'd demanded the first half of the booking cost as a deposit, because it was looking more and more sketchy as seconds passed. And honestly, if she could get out of this without suffering a major life disaster, she'd probably consider herself lucky.

"I'm waiting for a Megan right now, Lexa. What brought you by this neck of the woods?" Clarke stated with more than a little caution, hoping that the hammering heart in her chest wasn't audible, because it honestly felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. There was no reason for Lexa to be up there, unless the booking had been a hoax. Of all the apartment buildings for the brunette to wander into and inexplicably access, there wasn't any room for coincidence.

Lexa's eyes widened as she'd spoken the name. "I was told to give the name 'Megan' in the foyer. How do you two know each other?" Lexa asked politely, if a little too quickly for them to be entirely sincere. She could see the panic and confusion seeping through the brunette's features as Lexa swiftly skimmed a glance over her body again, a clear enough sign that it wouldn't be long until something bad happened.

On one hand, she could try and cover it up, but Lexa had seen enough to eventually come to the proper conclusion on her own later on. Or, she could come clean and hope for the best, hope that the supportive part of Anya ran in Lexa's blood as well. Especially if some of her preliminary suspicions about this clusterfuck could potentially involve Anya, anyways, even if that was a minor possibility, however terrifying. After all, Octavia would never involve herself in something like this, and Raven had told her enough tales of her sexuality being joked about, or used as a prank, for her to be involved. That left Anya, who Clarke adored, but who also hadn't fully be told about her work, and who loved pranking Lexa, and seemed to want the two of them together. If she was a betting woman, she wouldn't bet on Anya being involved at all, but there was still a chance, if tiny, and she'd like it ruled out.

With that all in mind, Clarke couldn't help but feel she'd be better served by being up front, running damage control if necessary along the way. At least she could control part of the narrative that way.

"I've never met Megan, I've only spoken to her over the phone. She was supposed to come over here tonight." Clarke laid out simply, trepidation shaking her from head to toe as Lexa just stood there increasingly wide-eyed and put the pieces together. Those big, beautiful green eyes then slowly took in Clarke's appearance from head to toe, Lexa's face going red as a tomato in the process.

"On a date?" Lexa asked, though with how flat the words came out, and the lack of conviction in their delivery, Clarke knew Lexa certainly didn't expect she was waiting for a date.

"No, Lexa. It seems like 'Megan' wanted you to be here instead of her, though." Clarke continued, putting words to their current predicament so that there wouldn't be any misconceptions about what happened. Lexa always did seem to appreciate clarity, Clarke hoped that would hold true as they stood there at her doorway.

"I...think there's been some mistake. I apologize." Lexa noted stiffly, head on a swivel as if gauging nearby exits, looking amazingly uncomfortable, even if she really was as spellbinding as ever, all bundled up and cute.

Goddamnit I can't think about that right now...focus, focus!

"It's not your fault, Lexa. It's Megan's...or whoever it is that...that staged this." Clarke insisted, not wanting Lexa to feel bad about what was happening. Clearly, the girl was in shock and had walked into a situation expecting something very different than encountering an escort. Her mind quickly worked over the possible culprits, and settled on the obvious, given that Anya wasn't present. "Your team sent you here, didn't they?"

Lexa gave a small nod, eyes focused on the trim along her door. "Echo and Caris convinced Anya to stay home while they took me out tonight. They told me to meet them at their friend's apartment."

Clarke let out a sigh, lamenting that of all the sex workers in the city, she had to be fucked over by two of Lexa's teammates, and wouldn't even get paid goddamn fair compensation for whatever shit she'd likely get dragged into. At least the odds Anya was involved dropped astronomically. "Well, for what it's worth, I guess I've got the rest of my night free. You're already here, so why don't you at least come in for a drink? Please?" She nearly pleaded, desperately wanting to gain some semblance of control over the situation. If Lexa walked away right now, she'd have no way to keep word from getting around, or to contain whatever issues the brunette might cause, but if Lexa came in, maybe she could work out an understanding with the girl.

Lexa's eyes went wide as saucers, and Clarke watched the girl gulp about three times before there was any semblance of a response to go by. "Are you...are you propositioning me, Clarke?"

The look of absolute shock on Lexa's face, combined with the un-ironic use of 'proposition' was too funny not to laugh at, thankfully. Even though Lexa looked no less confused or stunned at her laughter. "I didn't consent to seeing you like that tonight, Lexa. I consented to Megan, who is obviously not coming. I'm just asking if you'd like to step in for a drink, nothing more."

"It's just that...you seem to do it for a living, Clarke. Can you blame me for taking your flirting as you putting the moves on a customer?" Lexa asked, and had she not just recently gained the unyielding support of Anya, Raven, and Octavia, perhaps those words could have done more than sting.

"'Putting the moves'? What? I wasn't flirting with you, Lexa. When I do, you'll know it. And are you trying to say I'll, what...open my door to just about anyone and, so long as I have the spare time and they have money, I'll fuck them?" She asked, hands finding her hips as she stood in defiance of the green-eyed girl before her, trying to be patient, while hoping some bluntness would help clear things up. Clarke kept reminding herself that Octavia's reaction wasn't any better, and she turned out to be sort of good enough with her, at least in terms of keeping things secret, so patience was key. She knew she could be patient; she had been with Lexa for weeks, now.

"Isn't that what prostitutes do? It's not exactly rocket science, and with a place like this, I can't imagine you discriminate... you take people's money, and they fuck you." Lexa shot back, that familiar intensity burning in her eyes as she took a half step closer, chin lifting slightly in challenge, as if there even was one.

Clarke just laughed in disbelief and stepped out into the hallway, deep into Lexa's personal space. "Oh fuck off, Lexa, you're better than that. And the term is 'sex worker'. 'Full service' to be specific. Escort if you want be fancy and less thorough, and no." Clarke let out smoothly, taking another step forward, which apparently had Lexa on her heels enough to take one backwards in kind. "I put out listings, and people contact me, Lexa. I do background and reference checks, which I'm fortunate enough to have available to me. If they pass muster, we discuss terms, services, my boundaries, and the price."

Clarke took another step forward, Lexa matching once again in retreat, green eyes still holding her gaze. "And then, Lexa...if I consent...I'll let them, and only them, fulfill that booking. I'm all business with my clients, and it's a lot more involved than me just taking their money and getting fucked." She continued, moving forward just enough to have Lexa stepping backward and impacting against the wall behind her.

"You came here by accident, Lexa. You didn't call me, I didn't check you out. We didn't discuss terms, services, boundaries or a price. You may be beautiful, Lexa, but don't think for one second that you're above the measures I take to do my work safely. Don't think that just because I screw people for money that I'll want to screw you, or anyone else, if you have the coin. At work, with my clients, I rule with my head. It's not personal." Clarke clarified, trying to push the point home, hoping that Lexa wasn't just hearing her, but that she was listening. "I'm not working right now, though. You're not a client, Lexa. I'm just asking if you'd like to come in for a drink, as a friend, since I'm free for the rest of the evening. Are you done being an asshole?"

Clarke wasn't sure her words had gotten through to Lexa as seconds ticked by, but eventually, the brunette offered the tiniest of nods, Clarke stepping away to let Lexa into her humble abode. It definitely wasn't an ideal situation, and she wasn't very happy with Lexa at the moment, but at least her situation was contained for the moment. At least she could figure out how to handle it, though the first thing on the agenda was getting Lexa, who looked both deep in thought and on the verge of a stress-induced heart-attack, to relax.

And by what she'd learned about the girl over the past months, she knew it was probably best to be direct and patient. Clarke shut the door behind them and stepped up to Lexa's side, resting a hand lightly on the girl's shoulder, the brunette startling ever so slightly at the touch.

"Lexa, you don't have to be nervous. I'm not Griffin, number nineteen on the Boston College Eagles. I'm not on the clock, either. You're just a guest in my home, right now. I'm just Clarke, tonight." She spoke, using her best soothing tone, keeping only a light hold on the brunette's shoulder. She wanted Lexa in the present with her, not thinking of their past, their silly one-sided rivalry, or life outside of them.

Lexa's head turned enough for those piercing green eyes to gauge her sincerity, and Clarke felt that intensity as if it was burrowing into her, but after a few long seconds, Lexa's body relaxed, even if it was still more tense than usual. "And if I left right now?"

Clarke pushed aside her worries of what could happen under that scenario, and just focused on settling Lexa down. "My nine to seven timeslot's free now, so you could leave, if you like. You could walk out, and come back later, if you felt like it...I'll be home, and having some company would be nice, but don't feel obligated. Or you could stay, have a drink, and we could go from there."

"If..." Lexa began, only to clamp her mouth shut as a pink tint glowed on her cheeks. "If I stay...and have a drink...what then?"

"Well, like I said, my schedule suddenly cleared up, so really, I'd put that ball in your court. I'm kind of stuck here, so if you're willing to keep me company, it's the least I could do." Clarke explained and, taking Lexa's questioning glance as a sign that the brunette would at least be staying long enough for a drink, walked off towards her kitchen. "When I work here late, I let Nyko, the security guy downstairs, know I'll be staying the night. I don't want to worry him, he's a sweet guy, and he's very supportive of my sexual liberation as a freshman, so long as I practice safe sex." She noted with a laugh, hoping to smooth out the tense mood that had built up so far.

"And you don't want to involve him." Lexa added hesitantly, footsteps behind her signaling the brunette had moved over to the island in the middle of the kitchen.

Clarke pulled a bottle of wine from the cooler, grabbed the bottle opener, and turned around. "He's a family friend, of course I'll want to protect him. He just thinks I have a lot of sex, and sometimes have friends over. Better I let him express his sex-positivity than...well, risk something bad happening."

She pushed aside memories from the summer and just focused back on the present, on opening the bottle, on pouring herself and Lexa glasses of wine, hoping Lexa would take that tidbit of information and get swayed closer to secrecy by the trust she was displaying in her.

"Do you usually pour your...clients...wine, Clarke?" Lexa asked, shoulders all pulled in, head slightly ducked, cheeks glowing red.

If she wasn't still under the illusion that I was servicing her, I probably would have flirted a bit...Probably lost my chance with her, so best put those thoughts to rest. She mused as she carried the pair of glasses to the island and stood across from where Lexa was seated.

"It's just one glass, and you're basically a friend of mine. I trust you, Lexa." Clarke stated clearly, hoping that the brunette would listen to her words instead of getting lost staring at her lips, Lexa apparently not feeling up for eye contact at the moment. "And you're not a client. Again, I have to screen a client before I give them the all-clear, Lexa. You haven't contacted me for a booking, I haven't screened you, and I haven't agreed to terms and boundaries with you. This isn't work...we're just two pretty girls sharing a drink at the end of a day."

Clarke chastised herself internally for letting that bit slip there at the end, but the brief and surprising flash of a smile on Lexa's lips was more than worth it. "In your secret lair of all places."

A laugh escaped her at the assertion, and she couldn't help but be happy that the girl seemed to be taking things in stride, to some extent. "You make me sound like a villain from a movie. It's my dad's old place, really."

"Ah." Lexa let out, nodding as she took a sip of her wine. "Well, then, it's good to end my birthday in your fortress of solitude."

Clarke's eyebrows rose at the change in address. "Hey, you know, I could really get used to you being a geek if you put me in the esteemed company of superheroes." She said, mentally taking note of what she had in the apartment as an idea struck her. "And wait here...I think I've got something."

She raced back to the fridge and pushed the orange juice and milk out of the way, revealing her prize. Grinning at her luck, Clarke pulled the box from the fridge and shut the door, returning the spoils of her search to the island. "It's not much, but...happy birthday, Lexa."

It lacked a candle, and she'd only bought it in case she needed some quick energy the next morning, but she knew the bakery she'd purchased the cupcake from made damn fine ones, and it was a better gift than nothing at all.

Lexa's hands approached the box cautiously, fingers tapping absently at the edge of the lid before pulling it open. Clarke watched those forest green eyes widen, the subtle lines at their edges crinkling in what Clarke liked to believe was happiness.

"I...Anya and Lincoln gave me a cake earlier tonight, but...well, there's not a day in my life where I'll turn down red velvet. Thank you, Clarke." Lexa offered with a gracious smile before picking the cupcake up and taking a small bite, eyes fluttering closed contentedly.

Clarke just smiled as Lexa slowly devoured the gift, the brunette ultimately sporting a pout and sad eyes when all that was left was the paper wrapping. "Hey, why don't we take this to the living room, and you can tell me about your day?"

A wry smile stretched across Lexa's lips, but the girl shrugged, finished the last of her wine, and stood up off the stool. "I expect you'll find it boring, but suit yourself, Clarke."

Being more than a foot away from the brunette, Clarke was blessed with a better look at Lexa than she had at the doorway, but she could hardly focus on how amazing the girl looked in her blouse and jeans when she was limping slightly. Alarmed, Clarke rushed over to the couch and ensured there was ample room, holding up a hand when Lexa went to sit.

"Oh no you don't, you're sitting up against the armrest." Clarke asserted, only to earn a cocked eyebrow from her suddenly unimpressed companion. "You hurt your leg. I'll massage it, I do it with Anya all the time." She added, hoping that couching her demand with the fact that she helped Anya in the past would satisfy Lexa enough to concede.

Thankfully, Lexa just sighed and sat up against the array of throw pillows, letting Clarke slide wounded legs onto her lap. "Every birthday, I'm allowed three demands from Anya and Lincoln. One for each of them, and another I can ask of either one. My second demand was that Anya take me skating early this afternoon. Lincoln doesn't skate, so I knew I'd have to ask Anya...she took me to a frozen pond on the outskirts of the city, and we skated again like when we were younger. She tired me out, and my calves are overworked and sore, but it was good to be out there like that again, racing after each other, doing tricks...I'm not hurt, just sore." Lexa explained with a wistful little smile, a far-off gaze in her eyes as she clearly was recalling the day's events.

It was wonderful seeing Lexa so relaxed and happy, and Clarke couldn't help but smile along as she worked her hands on Lexa's legs, drawing a slight gasp from the other girl, before Lexa started in on her day. On how she'd asked Anya to make her breakfast, which the older blonde was apparently famous for, and how she'd asked Lincoln to let Anya teach him how to make dinner with the new cooking supplies her cousin and Octavia had gifted him for Christmas. Which, well, Lincoln begrudgingly followed through with, eventually admitting that he had needed some help in learning.

Lexa had been wrong, not that she would have said as much out loud. Clarke knew it was a little weird, but she loved hearing about Lexa's domestic and simple adventures with her family. After spending her first holiday season without her own family, it was refreshing and invigorating to hear about someone whose family still had their shit together.

Still, eventually, Lexa ran out of stories to tell, and suddenly Clarke was left having to find things to talk about. Which wouldn't have been a problem, but she was used to massaging while being silent, and multitasking would occasionally have her hands stilling in place.

"...and so, Raven came running around the house with her snowball launcher, and both O and I were clearly outgunned, but I thought I could trust my roommate to stick it out with me. But then Octavia just shoved me out of cover and ran for it! Raven didn't care, of course, she just wanted at least one of us to pay for desecrating her snowman." Clarke spoke, passionately recalling how her and Octavia's prank on Raven went sideways on Christmas, and how she'd paid the price while Octavia had escaped to live another day.

"That's horrible, Clarke, and I will help you enact revenge if you just get back to working out that knot." Lexa added a little hastily, sounding a bit unsteady before Clarke put her hands back to work again, drawing a very content hum from the brunette. "God, Clarke, how are you so good at this?"

The near breathless, largely frustrated collection of words puzzled her, to say the least. Sure, Clarke knew her hands were skilled, she'd spent a lot of her high school years interning at a sports medicine clinic that saw a lot of college football recruits passing through, and she'd learned a lot from a therapist who was her supervisor. Still, she was so used to Anya, Raven and Octavia's general silence on her skillset that the question caught her off guard.

"Um, I learned from pros back during my internships in high school. It's helped me whenever I hurt myself, or when I'm too sore after practices to do much of anything. I know enough to get by." Clarke answered, hands working away at a particularly tight area on the brunette's thigh that, if not for how thin the denim painted onto Lexa's skin was, she probably wouldn't have been able to knead unless the girl had stripped. "Is that better?"

"Fuck me, that's good..." Lexa breathed out, eyes clenched shit and body arching slightly from her touch, and maybe, just maybe, Clarke's teeth bit into her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

God, why does she have to sound so sexy a hundred percent of the time? I'm pretty sure if she fell into a ball pit, she could make it sound...

Lexa practically leaping off the couch and away from her, all red-faced and panic stricken, broke Clarke away from her thoughts enough to recognize that something was wrong. What, she couldn't quite put together, but Lexa rushing off towards the door and slipping on her coat was alarming enough for the blonde to follow.

"Hey, is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?" She asked in a tone that was hopefully taken as more calm and collected than she thought she sounded.

Lexa's big, green doe eyes met her own, holding her gaze for a long second or two before the brunette slipped out of the condo and into the hallway, leaving Clarke alone with only Lexa's boots to keep her company. It was a detail that was reassuring enough in that it told her the brunette would return, but the fact that Lexa escaped in a hurry had Clarke freaking out more than a teensy tiny bit. In a world where panicked, scared people tended to have loose lips, maybe Clarke was a little concerned that she no longer had the situation contained. Losing Lexa's company, which she'd honestly been immensely enjoying, was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

Maybe she ran to her bathroom and dialled Anya on her phone in her own little moment of panic, needing to hear her friend's voice, needing Anya's support, and deciding it was a good enough time to get some answers and clear some air that definitely needed clearing since her breakdown at Anya's dorm a while back.

It took two rings for the other end to pick up. "Clarke, it's a little late. What's up?" The woman asked, a tinge of worry in her voice, not nearly enough to give any sort of answer to the need for confirmation that had been burning in the back of her mind since Lexa appeared at her door.

"Tell me you didn't send Lexa to me, Anya." She blurted out, feeling a little bad for not distancing herself from the situation enough to first ask if her friend knew about her teammate's plans for Lexa, or to even just manage to be nicer about it all. She just needed to Anya to confirm that she hadn't done this.

"Lexa...? Clarke, what's going on, did something happen to Lexa? Or you? Do you need me to come get you?" Anya asked, words spilling out faster and sharper as seconds passed and her friend seemed to process her initial question. It didn't matter, though, because while Anya was confused, Clarke wasn't sure about what yet, and she just needed to be certain. She needed to hear from Anya's mouth that her newest friend hadn't stabbed her in the back in some ploy to get her and Lexa together. A crack theory it may have been, but she just needed to rule it out, because she really needed her friend right now, she needed to know Anya was still entirely safe.

"Tell me you weren't in on the booking, Anya. Please tell me you didn't send Lexa to me, please." She pleaded, throwing out any semblance of defiance at the moment, just needing her friend to clear her name and help her. With a stray word, Lexa could ruin her, and as much as she really, sincerely liked Anya's cousin, that level of trust was not there yet, especially not after how Lexa had reacted earlier. "Please, Anya."

"What are you talking about? Booking? Clarke, is Lexa hurt?! Are you?!" Anya spilled out, more frantic in her tone by the second, and Clarke would have interjected had the woman not basically been talking too loudly to hear her.

"I know you know, Anya, so...just don't! Lexa got sent to me as a fucking prank in an overnight booking and I really need you to tell me you didn't know!" She yelled as tears spilled out down her cheeks, head lightly impacting against the door as she leaned on it for support, trying to catch her breath, hand clutching the doorknob in an attempt to stay upright. "Just...please just tell me you didn't know..." She added, her panic stripping away much of the volume of her words as they fell weakly from her lips, desperate for just one safe harbor with everything that had happened that night.

Clarke could hear Anya's breathing on the other end, could hear the woman working to control her emotions, quietly counting down from five a few times in quick succession. Whether her friend was vocalizing it to help her, or just accidentally letting it slip was beyond Clarke, but it did help the blonde catch her breath and calm down a little, and it apparently sapped away a good chunk of Anya's uncontained fear.

"Clarke, I was under the impression that Echo was taking Lexa bar hopping tonight with some fake IDs. I would never...I would never out you like that, not even to my family. I didn't know any of this was happening tonight, or I would have stopped it, I promise." Anya stated, voice shaky and strained, but it was enough for Clarke's heart to swell with relief, hearing nothing but truth from her friend. Nothing but safety. "Is Lexa still there?"

"She ran away." Clarke managed to get out as she sunk down against the door, allowing her lungs to take in a bit more oxygen before she continued. "Left her boots behind, but she ran."

"Fuck." Anya cursed sharply, and Clarke couldn't help but laugh at the uncharacteristic outburst, even if it trailed off into a choked sob as her fear came roaring back. "Oh hey, no, don't cry, it'll be just fine, Clarke. It'll all be alright, I promise, okay?"

Clarke sniffed back her tears and nodded at Anya's encouragement, even if she didn't entirely believe it. It was at the very least nice to hear someone was convinced that this all would end well. "I know. I can...I'll handle it, Anya. I just needed to know I still had you. I know with you...I'll get through this. So don't hound her or anything, just...I can handle it. I just needed to hear you." She pieced together between steadying breaths, trying to build her walls back up, trying to reconstruct that impenetrable mask of confidence.

"I told you before, I'm not going anywhere, Clarke. This doesn't change anything." Anya offered in a soft, sweet voice, so much like when the woman had saved her from despair, peering into Clarke's depths at her secret, only to strengthen their bond instead of severing it.

Just remembering how Anya had practically torn the old makeshift bandage off her heart and healed her that afternoon a week ago, pledging her friendship and support, no matter the circumstances, well, it had Clarke feeling stronger. It reminded her that allowing herself to hope was a good thing, that people weren't going to break her heart every time she put it out there.

"If you need anything..." Anya started to say, voice thick with emotion that a sniffle and a cough could hardly extinguish. "If you need anything, if you need me, you call me. Promise?"

"I promise. Thank you, Anya." Clarke offered as she wiped the tears from her cheeks, knowing that even if everything went to shit, she'd still have her friend at her side. For that, regardless of anything else, she felt tremendously fortunate.

"None necessary. Call me later and let me know how it goes, okay? I'll wait up." Anya hushed out, her voice a soothing balm to her fears for the moment. And as much as Clarke wanted to tell the woman not to wait up, to just rest up instead, that this wasn't her particular battle, she knew Anya would be stubborn enough to wait up, anyway. The least she could do was concede such a small request.

"I will. I'll talk to you later, then?" Clarke relented with a smile, feeling comforted by Anya's protectiveness. Perhaps the woman could be overbearing at times, but Anya had a knack for making her feel special and cared for. Clarke might have had a certain L word floating around her head, even, but she knew she'd want to leave that for when they were face to face, not over the phone, as much as their conversation may have warranted it.

"Until later, my sky girl." Anya let out softly before the call ended, Clarke letting that surprising and heart-warming term of endearment seep into her and empower her. Anya, after all, only gave nicknames to the most important people in her life, a fact which got Clarke to her feet to clean herself up, knowing Lexa could only stay out in the hallway shoeless for so long.

Thankfully, a lot of her earlier makeup work remained intact, just needing some touch ups around her eyes; Clarke reapplied her mascara and eyeliner, but passed on concealing the puffiness from her crying, or drops to fight off the redness of her eyes. She'd get through tonight to the best of her ability, and hug the hell out of Anya on their walk the next morning. And then maybe facewash her in a snowbank, just because.

Still, she doubted that if Lexa returned, that the girl was about to come back and stay for long. So when Clarke double-checked that Lexa hadn't come back in all silent-like, and that the boots were still there, she retreated to her bedroom to change. It was supposed to be a night of firsts, of relative intrigue, and Clarke didn't want to lose all trace of that, so she bypassed her comfier pajamas and slipped on her nice robe instead. Even if her potential friend had been repulsed over her, Clarke knew she could at least display some self-confidence in her beauty. Didn't hurt that her condo's heating was pretty damn great, so it was pretty comfy, anyways.

With that all done, she worked at passing the time, unsure when Lexa would come back, but confident that she would. What happened then, honestly, was anyone's guess.


It just wasn't right. There literally was nothing right at all about anything Lexa was feeling at the moment, long minutes after escaping Clarke's father's place, and yet she remained. While part of that was because she'd forgotten her boots, the vast majority was a mess of confusions.

Oh let's be fair, it's not that confusing, I'm just a mess... She mused, berating herself for her hasty exit, for having that glass of wine when any alcohol always got her talkative, for not interrogating Clarke when she had the chance. Hell, for just stepping foot inside that condo to begin with. It was all a mess, and as much as she wanted to pin it all on Clarke Griffin, she knew it wasn't the blonde that had her out in the hallway.

Or, well, it WAS her, in a way... Lexa internally corrected, recalling Clarke's hands on her legs, and how excited she'd been at how they had just kept creeping upwards. Sure, Clarke had been giving a full leg massage, it was to be expected, but there was no reason for it to feel that good. None.

And yet, it had. And she'd fled.

Lexa Pocosin was not a coward, that she knew. She could take pride in that. However, she was someone who needed to think things through, and it was impossible to think straight with Clarke in her vicinity, especially when the blonde made her feel dangerously gay. Each and every breath around the girl when those hands were on her, even with jeans protecting her skin, had her thinking 'just fuck me up', and Lexa had been down that road before.

Not with Clarke, no, but she'd been down it, and that city of light had been turned to ruin, shattering her down to her core, and she wasn't feeling up for trying that again. Not knowing Anya would have to piece her back together again, which, along with her cousin's sincere adoration of Clarke, had Lexa feeling a bit more capable of tamping down on the anger that kept threatening to flood her system each time Clarke stirred jealousy or weakness inside of her. It was everything else, particularly her memories and history, which had forced her from the condo.

But god, her HANDS. And...how long has it been since I spoke at length with anyone who wasn't family? Aside from Clarke? She always manages to unravel me... She agonized, wishing she'd turned down Echo and Caris' invitation and remained home. Then she wouldn't have exposed herself to a situation where her hardly dormant feelings could get away from her, and she certainly wouldn't have made a fool of herself to Clarke, or dealt with the fears of what traps her feelings would lead her into.

To her credit, the blonde had dropped a big bombshell on her, even if it had been by accident. At the start of the day, she never would have imagined she would have learned that Clarke was, in the girl's own words, a 'sex worker'. While that situation was not at all about her, she thought she deserved at least a few minutes to wrap her head around it. Instead, she'd opened her mouth and made a complete ass of herself in getting a little jealously aggressive and pushing Clarke's buttons, something that Clarke often deflected in the past, but certainly wasn't in the mood to do tonight. And not as if Lexa had any reason to be jealous, either.

It's not as if they were together, an item; no, the mere thought of that had Lexa short of breath with panic flaring at the edges of her mind. They weren't together in the least, so there was no reason to be jealous, to feel an urge to stake a claim when that would literally be the worst idea imaginable given her history. And yet, in an abstract sense, outside of the concept of time, the idea of her and Clarke enjoying each other was more than a little alluring, even with the tension between them. Perhaps, in a way, because of it.

God, when she walked me back against the wall...no, no, she was just angry. Like she told me, I would know when she flirted with me. Like... in her kitchen, calling me pretty... She mused, knowing in some way that Clarke couldn't completely hate her if she could stomach making such a remark. Lexa knew, though, that as surprised as she had been, Clarke had been as well, and it was wrong to let her emotions get the best of her; Clarke had been much more controlled. Stronger, not weak like she had been.

To be quite frank, the prospect of Clarke having sex with strangers for a living wasn't exactly easy to digest. Hell, the notion of Clarke having sex with just about anyone was uncomfortable enough to handle, especially how that discomfort largely vanished when inserting herself in such fantasies.

Not fantasies...just thoughts...just thoughts... She mused with a depressingly low sense of conviction. It was all a bit much, and it particularly had Lexa on edge over which behaviours of Clarke's were business, and which were personal. In a career field meant to provide a fantasy, to manipulate reality and perform, Lexa felt a little justified in wondering what was real and what wasn't.

That made dealing with Clarke a lot less certain. And certainty, up until now, had been Lexa's rock. Particularly the certainty that if she didn't get involved again, that she'd never suffer like she had after Costia. She still had time to walk away from Clarke, to try and salvage something that wasn't romantic for Anya's sake, to try and keep some firm distance between them, like she'd been trying and failing to do over the past month.

How unfortunate, then, that her body felt a terrifyingly relentless pull to return to the condo, to throw herself in Clarke's arms and drown in the blonde's touch. She had developed a deep, not-so-dormant thirst for affection and intimacy as years passed since Costia, and Clarke had a tendency to weaken her resolve over that. From Clarke's bright smiles and absent-minded touches, to the girl snuggling up with her on her bed, to how the blonde would happily loop an arm around her own without a second thought, Clarke always had a way to make Lexa feel, and indulge herself in it, if just for a little while. My damn birthday, and the one thing I want, I can't...or, well, shouldn't have... She thought to herself, weighing the pros and cons for about the fiftieth time since she'd gone into the hall.

And for about the fortieth consecutive time, the list of cons was vastly dwarfed, but she remembered her reaction to Clarke singing to her weeks and weeks ago. She'd ended up in bed, crying in Anya's arms, not at all prepared to deal with attraction to the blonde. Not ready to deal with how each excited thump of her heart reminded her of the pain she felt, with each beat of her heart, since Costia. Not ready to tackle the mere notion of the vulnerability essential to a romantic relationship. Lexa doubted that she had made enough progress with Clarke over the past weeks to even consider anything of the sort, if she wanted one at all.

Love is weakness, after all. I learned that much the hard way...

Her thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of her phone, Lexa's hands moving to the device faster than usual in hopes of a distraction, of a way to unleash her discomfort over her current situation to the two culprits who had set her up. Except, it wasn't Caris or Echo texting her, it wasn't even a text at all.

Lexa swiped at her phone, opening the Instagram notification, apparently Anya's rarely used account having posted something new for the first time in well over a year. Lexa's hand stilled at the sight of a photo of herself in a standoff with a raccoon, one Clarke must have taken during their walk in the park.

My baby cousin LexaPocosin taking a statement after saving the little thing's life, according to witness skaigirlgriffin #wildlifeadventures

Lexa rolled her eyes out of principle, knowing Anya was probably just trying to tease her a little bit, as usual, but then she got another notification, Anya having posted something else. She flipped over to it, and saw the picture of her and Clarke that an elderly couple had taken; at least, she assumed it was, given it was the only non-selfie the blonde had taken of them that day at the arboretum.

Her memory shifted back to that day, and how Clarke had held her arm and leaned up against her, smelling incredible and being so free and warm with her. Even when she'd shut down a bit and try to put some distance between them either physically or emotionally, it'd never phase the blonde. Clarke would keep smiling, keep her shielded from the freezing rain, keep showing interest in her and their surroundings. Clarke would always manage to reel her back in effortlessly, to get her relaxing without even realizing it, often only realizing she'd been smiling when her cheeks began to hurt.

There was a seductive power to that kind of chemistry, that easy kind of connection. Lexa wasn't sure she could handle managing something, even a friendship, with Clarke on top of everything else in her life, even if she knew she could supremely enjoy the blonde in small doses.

But...maybe I could just...go get my boots, and get...I don't know, a hug? A nice one? It's my birthday, it's just one night...I'd like to think I can ask a little more for myself on my birthday. Right? She mused, returning her focus back to her phone enough to read the caption, her eyes rolling once more at Anya's remark.

Two cuties #winterwonderland #wishIwasthere #IblameLincoln

"Must be hitting the sauce early." Lexa mumbled to herself before pocketing her phone, figuring her cousin would probably go on a posting spree full of embarrassing things. She'd sneak onto Anya's computer the next morning and delete the captions.

As she guided her body back down the hall, Lexa couldn't help but wonder what Anya would do if her cousin knew what she knew. Honestly, after a moment or two of thought, she figured her cousin would probably be hesitantly okay with it, if extremely protective. Lexa remembered enough about the goalie from Anya's freshman year being a stripper, and her cousin's regular obsession about the older player's wellbeing. She'd probably go way overboard, like keeping a hitman on-call in case someone hassled Clarke or forgot to tip... she mused, a shiver running through her body at the thought of Clarke with some stranger. With someone else, really, if she were to peer deep into her soul for some honesty.

Lexa returned to Clarke's words earlier, focusing on how the blonde compartmentalized between work and her free time, trying to just think of it all as work. When Clarke massages Anya, or Raven, or Octavia, she does it as a friend...she'd offer it freely, with a full heart...if someone asked her at work, she'd...she'd charge for it, like any masseuse would. It'd just be business, right? And if masseuses can treat clients who are absolute jerks and make them feel better, for a cost, then that's alright, clearly...so Clarke offering services of her own...how can I expect different from her? She said it herself...work isn't personal, her heart's not involved. I just...I just need to remember that's the difference, that's what matters... Lexa mused, trying her best to keep her thoughts from lingering to imagined scenes of the blonde with random men. But god, it's just...I know she's not with me, or mine, but...it just feels wrong...

When she broke away from her thoughts, Lexa found herself standing at Clarke's door once again, this time knowing exactly who and what laid beyond the doorway. She took a few long, calming breaths, focused on allowing herself a minor bit of affection before taking her leave, and then rapped her knuckles at the door.

One second passed, and then two, Lexa listening for Clarke's heels and hearing nothing. So when the door was pulled open, revealing Clarke a few inches shorter, clad in this gorgeous navy floor-length silky robe, maybe Lexa flinched and stood a little stiffly in surprise. And maybe she let herself wonder what exactly was under that robe, but only for a moment, because Clarke was watching her with big curious blue eyes. Eyes which sported puffiness and redness that expertly applied makeup couldn't quite cover up, and Lexa had been paying enough attention earlier to know that was definitely new.

Which, well, was concerning. She and Clarke were on good enough terms for her to be worried, after all. At least, Lexa thought so.

And so, her loosely thought out plans went out the window and Lexa found herself toying with the loops of her jeans, not wanting to say goodnight yet, not wanting to leave without at least checking if Clarke was okay. If that took a little time, then anyone could understand that, surely. "May I come in?"

"Of course, Lexa." Clarke answered quietly, a small smile curling at her lips as the blonde ducked away inside, leading her back into the condo's foyer.

"I apologize for running off." Lexa added after a few long seconds of standing around, wondering where she would go from there, now that she was back inside and in Clarke's company. An apology for earlier seemed fitting. "I didn't mean any insult, I just needed air."

"I'm fine, Lexa. I know you weren't trying to hurt me, I get you feeling confused or overwhelmed. Please, let's just... put it in the past and focus on now." Clarke noted, leaning up against the living room sofa, eyes glimmering with expectation. That subtle hope shining in Clarke's eyes was almost enough to get past the fact that the blonde basically admitted that she had been hurt, even if Lexa hadn't meant to cause it.

Lexa wasn't sure what to do to help with that, or with the clear power to decide what would happen. She'd always sort of fumbled through these things back with Costia. More often than not she'd gather a mountain of candles, scatter them around a room, light them all, and arrange some cuddling in the dim, intimate candlelight. Yet, Clarke already seemed to have that covered with nearly all the electric lighting turned off in favour of candles and a fireplace. And cuddling was out of the question, of course.

At least, initially. We did sort of end up cuddling together watching Supernatural...maybe we could try that again? She liked that well enough to fall asleep with me, and...well, I might have liked that night as well. It IS just my birthday...and it doesn't have to be more than friendly...I think I can do this...

"I was wondering if maybe we could watch a movie, or some TV together?" Lexa asked, hoping that Clarke would be up for such a simple way of keeping each other company.

Thankfully, the blonde's expression lit up, that infectious grin blooming across her face. "I'd love that! I think I have some food...why don't you find us something to eat in the kitchen while I set things up?"

Lexa nodded along at the blonde's enthusiasm and made her way into the kitchen, aimlessly checking around the sparsely filled cabinets for something to much on. It didn't seem that Clarke spent a lot of time at the condo, which was probably a good thing, all things considered.

Eventually, she came across a massive hoard of popcorn packets, and just set to making a few in the microwave, figuring that even if she ended up making too much, that the blonde still had a lot more where that came from.

A few minutes later, after ensuring it was all good and seasoned with some butter and salt, she emerged with a massive bowl of popcorn, her pace slowing as she saw a greatly transformed living room. The couch had been pushed back slightly, and the coffee table was pushed up against its front, leaving a large amount of room in front of it, where a tremendous amount of pillows were set up as a makeshift backstop atop a fluffy looking rug. Why Clarke couldn't have kept the previous setup was beyond her, but with the pillows, and blankets, and the fireplace, she wasn't about to complain.

"I noticed your feet and calves were a little chilly when I was giving you a massage earlier. My fireplace is nice if you're close enough to it, so I figured we could watch something, have a cozy little nook, and stay a little warmer. Is that okay?" Clarke asked, and while Lexa still didn't understand why moving the sofa closer to the fireplace wouldn't have sufficed, Clarke's makeshift pillow pile did look comfy. It also left just enough room for both of them to sit comfortably, which she was sure would either be wonderful or agonizing. Possibly both.

Lexa offered a smile and held out the snack. "Is popcorn alright?"

Clarke's furious nodding was more than an answer. "I love it. So, birthday girl, what do you want to watch?"

A number of ideas filled her head about what to watch, but given her interests included a lot of nature specials, Lexa found herself with precious little reasonable selections. At least, not a lot that she was confident Clarke would enjoy. "We never did get very deep into our Supernatural marathon." She noted, the 'our' slipping out, even if it was mostly true. She'd planned on having that marathon alone, and finished a number of episodes on her own, but in her mind, it remained the night that Clarke came by and watched Supernatural with her.

And if offering up Supernatural led to her and Clarke ending up in a similar position as they had on her bed, then she wasn't going to complain. It was her birthday, she was allowed at least one night where she could just enjoy herself, wasn't she? It only seemed fair. It was just one night. She could worry about her connection with Clarke, and the blonde's work, and all of that stuff tomorrow. Tonight, Clarke was kind, and breathtakingly beautiful, and seemingly happy to share her company. That's all it had to be, Lexa had to believe that.

"I promise I won't fall asleep on you this time." Clarke said, smiling brightly as she popped in the season one DVD and settled into the pillow pile, waiting for Lexa to slip in beside her before covering their laps with a blanket.

As the usual warnings came up on screen, Lexa took advantage of the forced delay to sate her curiosity, a long-held question finally desiring an answer. "You seem to have difficulty sleeping often. Is it because of...of what you do?"

Clarke shaking her head was a bit of a surprise, Lexa having thought that perhaps the blonde's work was at fault, either due to late hours or bad clients. "I have a hard time sleeping alone. I don't need anyone in bed beside me, but...nearby, you know? Octavia's been sleeping over at Lincoln's more often, and I've had some late nights at work, so it can be hard to sleep. At least here I have memories of my dad to keep me company, and sometimes that helps, even after everything. Being able to nap at your place, or Raven's the rare time, helps a lot, too."

Lexa hadn't expected such a candid answer, but she deeply appreciated it, and it helped make sense of why Clarke would sometimes hang out at her dorm after her and Anya's morning walk, often enough napping away until noon when the blonde did stick around. It helped explain why Anya, as that friendship grew, would shift from having Clarke nap by the end of the bed to up at the top with her, leaving Clarke a pillow if the blonde wasn't using Anya as one in some way.

In hindsight, Clarke had been quite open with her over their past meetings. From this newest explanation, to learning about Clarke's father's love for music, to Clarke admitting to crying over television, to wanting to protect her and Anya from harm against Harvard, to Clarke discussing how she saw Lexa as a hockey player and as a person, to an assortment of compliments and candid bits of information along the way. Hell, the blonde could have potentially made an effort to cover up her career, but she let Lexa in, and even educated her when she antagonized the blonde in a fit of, well, mostly jealousy.

Thinking back, Clarke had been maddeningly patient with her, and while Lexa wasn't exactly sure why, she could appreciate that. And as the episode they left off on started up again, as she felt the gentle weight of Clarke's shoulders pressed up against her own, she felt comfortable enough to see about doing a little opening up of her own, to see if she could handle it with someone other than Anya.

"I used to have difficulty sleeping as well." Lexa found herself speaking, hoping she was making a good decision, knowing it had been made from her heart, not her head, and that was dangerous. Still, the way that Clarke's head tilted to watch her with care, a soft knowing smile on the blonde's lips, it all had Lexa feeling a little reassured. Fingertips brushing the top of her hand only solidified that.

"May I?" Clarke asked all hushed, gently taking hold of Lexa's hand when she offered the slightest of nods.

Spurred on by the warmth of Clarke's touch, of the blonde's soul, Lexa let herself hold that pale hand for any extra strength she may need. "Sleeping above ground level was...difficult, for a long time. It got to where I couldn't sleep in rooms with windows that could open, either. Which, in the summer, in Virginia, could seriously suck." Lexa continued, feeling a little foolish for throwing out such details without context. Clarke, though, just leaned up against her in the following period of silence, demanding nothing of her in the moment except that they remain where they were, the blonde offering a gentle squeeze of her hand and a smile as the show in the background provided white noise. "I had a girlfriend for about two and a half years in high school. Her name was Costia."

"Dark hair, beautiful smile, wore a lot of yellow. She'd cheer for you in the stands." Clarke whispered absently, momentarily stunning Lexa into silence. It was only the embarrassed blush on Clarke's cheeks that willed her to speak again, knowing Clarke felt bad for interrupting her train of thought.

"You remember her?" She asked, perhaps a meaningless question, given Clarke had already spoken of her, but she wanted to hear more, if Clarke could offer it.

"Lexa, we play women's hockey. It was high school women's hockey. The stands were mostly riddled with a few parents, so when someone my age would be clapping two huge foam fingers together and cheering and yelling for you all throughout the game, it's hard not to notice." Clarke explained, and alright, she had a point there. As much as Lexa would get into the zone while playing, she'd always come out of it long enough during breaks between plays, or after scoring, that she'd hear Costia cheering her on. It had never ceased to make her smile. "She'd be there with an older blonde, Anya as I know now, and sometimes a tall guy with a beard. It was always pretty amusing, I guess, and it only took maybe...three games for me to know for sure that you two were in love. The last time I saw you smile in your high school years was when you were celebrating with them after a game. You both looked so happy."

Lexa blinked a few times to will away the tears that were building up, wishing those memories weren't so bittersweet. Still, as emotional as the memories were making her, it didn't feel as heavy anymore. The pain wasn't as acute, it wasn't as debilitating as it often could be, and she wasn't going numb in response. It felt good to remember how happy she'd been, even if that was mixed with the pain of her loss.

It had her feeling that maybe, just maybe, she could talk more about it. That maybe, she could actually let Clarke in a bit more and see if she could handle that. If they could handle it together. "Costia, she...she was a year older than me, but I loved her, and she loved me. At the time, I was living with Anya, and her parents were rarely around...Anya let us have sleepovers, and Costia's parents were very lenient as well. We were young and innocent, and...neither of us were ready, so we...we...I loved her."

Lexa shook her head at the words tumbling out of her mouth, wanting to talk about what she had with Costia, but not wanting to be vulgar, or disrespectful. Thankfully, Clarke's smooth voice filtered in. "You enjoyed each other's company. It's only natural to want to be close...to feel close to the people you love, Lexa. I'm sure every night you spent together, Costia knew you loved her."

Lexa nodded at that, happy to be able to move past that particular detail, those memories of intimacy a little too much to handle at the moment. "Costia had started sleepwalking more and more in her sophomore year, when we met, but it wasn't a big deal. She'd usually get up to wander around the room a little, and then would come back to bed. But sometimes she'd get a little confused and lost, and would wander further. It..."

The words splintered on the way up her throat as the memory of the cool winter air and sirens filled her mind, the taste of bile only making it worse. Her eyes clenched shut in hopes of containing and controlling her reaction, remembering back to Anya's techniques to help calm her nerves and swallow back the toxic words until she could clear her head and find better ones.

The sensation of Clarke's arms gently hugging around her arm, of whispered words washing over her ears, met her as she emerged from the mental bubble of her coping routine. Her eyes darted to meet Clarke's glassy, worried ones, and watched the blonde's mouth close in wait for Lexa's own words. Patient once again.

"We'd been out on her balcony that evening in her parents' apartment, looking at the Christmas lights people in her neighbourhood had been putting up. I...I forgot to lock the balcony door when we went back in. Her parents did shift work, her dad was already asleep, and her mom was pulling a night shift at the hospital." Lexa started to explain, that ever-present pit of guilt boring into her once more, deservedly so, even if Anya told her it wasn't.

"Oh god, Lexa..." Clarke let out breathlessly, sounding like she was going to protest her framing of the situation, but as far as she was concerned, it went down one specific way. One that had cut Costia out of her life, for good reason. She certainly didn't blame her ex for not getting a hold of her since.

"She fell four stories. And then into a coma. Her parents moved her to a big hospital in Minnesota as soon as they could, dropped off a box of my things I'd left at her place, and that was that. She was hurt because of me, and I couldn't sleep anymore. Not for a long time." She finished briskly, her sudden anxiety pushing her past the pain of the memory, largely wishing she hadn't laid such a heavy bit of history out on her birthday of all days, and on Clarke. Not when they were supposed to be watching TV. She prayed Clarke wouldn't push for more, because she wasn't sure she could hold up for it with how she was already shaking, if hopefully not so noticeably.

Still, it felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. Nowhere close to the entire host of weights, but a decently sized one wasn't there anymore, and that was new. That had Lexa feeling oddly light. Even if she was on the verge of crying, and her heart hurt like it was punctured by a thousand knives, it still felt much better than the last time around. She could still breathe without assistance or slipping into uncontrollable sobs, for one.

"Lexa, may I?" Clarke asked softly, shifting in place a bit. Honestly, she wasn't sure what the girl was asking permission for, but the absence of pity in her voice, or on her face, had Lexa nodding her consent.

Immediately, Clarke shifted to slide behind her, those arms that had hugged her arm now slipping around her waist, with Clarke's bare legs pressing comfortably against her own, their bodies basically fully touching as Clarke held her, chin resting on her shoulder. Like magic, Clarke had seemed to know exactly what she needed at the moment, and took initiative to make it happen. As much as she'd enjoyed Clarke leaning up on her, it had been so long since anyone other than Anya had held her, and it felt so relieving to be able to relax and be touched like that again. Especially by someone she had feelings for, even if those feelings were a little scary and couldn't go anywhere. I can deal with that another time...right now, this is just...this is good. And Anya would approve of us being friendly...even if this is maybe a little more than...well...

"Is this okay?" Clarke asked, hands clasping around Lexa's waist, that mesmerizing jasmine-vanilla scent flooding her senses and relieving all the tension from her body.

"Perfect, Clarke." She murmured, sinking back into the blonde, the sheer relief bringing a smile to her face.

Seconds passed as the euphoria of finally experiencing a shred of intimacy settled into a warm, gooey contentment. Clarke's body was an enveloping comfort as it wrapped around her, the blonde's face only rarely leaving Lexa's shoulder. Even then, though, she'd feel Clarke's nose nuzzling at the back of her head, so it's not like there was anything to complain about. Not with the spellbinding girl offering a steady sense of solace.

Lexa hadn't wanted to get any deeper into her history, she'd just wanted to release some of that weight and let it go, and she couldn't be more thrilled that Clarke had allowed for that. The blonde hadn't contested her history or the guilt attached to it; no, Clarke had simply offered her the comfort she sought, and let that pain be validated and soothed with her touch.

"Well, I'm wide awake, Lexa. We don't have to sleep any time soon if you don't want to." Clarke whispered, words washing against her neck, thankful in the shared understanding that sleep would best be put off after everything that had been said. "Why don't we just enjoy some TV for a while, hm?"

Lexa found herself nodding, slinging one arm over where Clarke's hands were clasped against her waist, hopefully showing the other girl that she really liked how they were set up right now.

And so time rolled on by, Sam and Dean's adventures entertaining the duo in the dim light, the sound of the show only accompanied by the faint crunch of popcorn Lexa found herself munching on absently. She'd feel Clarke smile or laugh against her shoulder at the funny moments, or bury that beautiful face in her hair during the odd emotional scene, but for the most part, her companion was a silent, comforting presence as they continued on with their relaxing evening.

It was Clarke's stomach rumbling a few episodes into their marathon that had Lexa realizing that she'd been mowing down on their snack alone, since Clarke's hands were too busy being wrapped around her. Well...it'd be rude of me not to share...especially since it's her food...

Lexa already had a few puffs of popcorn in her hand, but instead of bringing them to her mouth as she had for the past hour and a half or so, she changed their trajectory and blindly brought them closer to the shoulder Clarke's face was resting against, holding her hand steady in wait.

She felt Clarke's face leave her shoulder, filling Lexa with a slight bit of tension as she waited, trying to ignore the fact that they were curled up together in an amazingly intimate way, and she was feeding the blonde hand to mouth. She knew this was just one night, that Clarke was just Clarke, and she was just Lexa, and nothing had to mean anything, but there was a sort of weight to this. It wasn't anything she could pass off quite so easily as a platonic act. Not while they were entangled, at least.

She felt Clarke's lips graze against her palm, taking all three kernels in one fell swoop, a content hum and some crunching following suit. Lexa was suddenly met with the realization that no matter what, she'd be eating popcorn from a hand that Clarke's lips had touched. The sound of her inner Anya came to the forefront of her mind to taunt her, of course.

By a sixth grader's standards, you may as well have kissed if you eat from your hand again...treading on dangerous ground, here, little one. You remember the last time you felt this, and how it grew...

Lexa shoved aside those thoughts; they'd served her well enough in the past, but she was having a nice evening, a wonderful end to her birthday, and she could deal with the fallout from that tomorrow. And so, with that decided, she brought her hand down, grabbed a handful of popcorn, took a few into her mouth, and brought the rest to Clarke. After all, she didn't want the blonde to starve when Clarke was being so good to her.

Once again, Clarke's lips brushed against her palm, this time needing two attempts to take in all the popcorn. However, after a few seconds of crunching and a happy hum, Lexa felt those same lips press against her cheek, surely turning her face beet red from how immediately hot she felt, how she could feel and hear the blood pumping through her skull like a water main about to burst.

"Thank you, Lexa." Clarke spoke, voice all velvety and warm, stirring some very dormant sensations deep inside her core, and pushing her heart up into her throat.

Lexa needed two hard swallows to get it back into place, and a few seconds to calm her thundering heart, before she could speak again. "I would not have you starve, Clarke."

"Well, I appreciate that. I kind of have my hands full right now, so I definitely welcome the help." Clarke murmured, nose and lips lightly pressing against her neck, only making Lexa feel like her body was a few hundred degrees hotter.

"Please, Clarke...if you keep this up...well, I might have to leave to cool down." Lexa spoke, nearly pleading in her need for Clarke to ease up on the affection, even if a large part of her deeply desired more from the blonde. Reminded by her own words, Lexa glanced up at the clock and wondered where the time went. "Actually, it's getting late. Maybe I should leave, anyways."

Lexa felt Clarke's head return to her shoulder, this time a chin resting gently against it instead of the blonde's lips. "Well, you could leave. It's your birthday, and your call." Clarke started, clearly having another option left unspoken for the moment. "Popcorn, please?"

She bit her lip a little at the blonde's cute request and brought a few kernels up to Clarke's mouth. She had asked nicely, after all.

Clarke munched away happily, Lexa offering a swift second handful to the blonde as she watched Sam and Dean get into trouble again. While Clarke had made it clear that Lexa could leave, and while it certainly was more than late enough to take her leave, she was starting to yearn for an excuse not to. Despite the bombshell of learning what Clarke did for a living, despite the mess that was the start of their evening together, despite how weak she'd already been that night, she really was enjoying herself more than she had in a long time with Clarke's simple affectionate companionship. Weakness or not, it was pleasant being reflexively happy, and even if it could only last for her birthday, it felt worth it. Worth dealing with the eventual fallout tomorrow, at least.

"So...you could leave...or, you could stay the night? Tonight's just one night that'll be put in our memory banks tomorrow, and we can handle that however we want to then. We could just stay here, together, in the present...Lexa and Clarke, simple and easy, when life is anything but for us. Don't we deserve that? At least for one night?" Clarke continued so hushed and soft, and Lexa felt like smacking herself upside the head at the realization that she hadn't been the only one deeply benefiting from their time together tonight. Both shirking their messy and painful histories, and the complications in their lives, so that they could have something relatively simple and normal together, if just for a little while.

Lexa was more than willing to let that last a bit longer. To perhaps enjoy the blonde's presence until the sun rose the next morning, if it came to that. She wasn't sure what staying the night with Clarke would entail, so there was some danger in that, but she was willing to face it if it meant that her largely light, serene mood would continue on into the night.

She settled her nerves and took a deep breath, hoping she was making the right call. It was her birthday, she deserved some happiness. "Maybe we do." Lexa answered, taking hold of Clarke's clasped hands and gently tugging them apart enough to take hold of the blonde's left. The thundering of her blood thrumming in her temples ensured that if Clarke made any protest, she likely wouldn't have heard it, but there was no physical resistance when Lexa brought that hand up to her lips and pressed a kiss to the blonde's palm. "We'll stay here together."

The feeling of Clarke smiling against her shoulder had Lexa returning Clarke's hand back to her waist, allowing herself a similarly warm smile when the blonde quickly tangled both hands together again and gave her a light squeeze around her waist. "Together, then." Clarke breathed out, lips once again branding her with a kiss, this time to her shoulder. And while it had her arousal spiking once more, it seemed more manageable, knowing that there wasn't just lust there between them both, that there wasn't just a work-like obligation for Clarke. Most importantly, that this didn't have to stretch on for any longer than that night, and that it wasn't one-sided. "So...more popcorn, please?"

Clarke's exuberance over the snack had Lexa letting out a laugh before grabbing some more and lifting the food in reach of the blonde.

They remained there together, Lexa feeding Clarke with popcorn steadily enough, the blonde returning the affection in kind with a pert nose nuzzling her neck, or the occasional kiss to her shoulder. It had her feeling like she did back in high school, and as much fear and guilt as she had for Costia, Clarke's touch and presence felt different, enough to keep that history at a distance, at least for now.

It was three audible yawns in quick succession from the blonde that had Lexa reaching for the remote and putting a stop to their mini-marathon. Checking the clock, it was very late, and Lexa couldn't help but feel a little bad. She knew Clarke would get up for an early morning walk with Anya no matter what, and that her cousin would worry herself, as she had recently taken to, over the blonde's lack of sleep. Meanwhile, she could grab an extra two hours back at her dorm alone, and get away in time to be at practice early by the time Anya stopped off at the dorm for her gym bag after the walk.

For a moment, Lexa entertained the possibility of Clarke talking to Anya about tonight, but she figured that the blonde probably wouldn't out herself so soon, likely choosing instead to strategize an approach to Anya first.

"Clarke, you're tired. We should rest." Lexa asserted, earning another yawn from the blonde before Clarke let out a tiny huff.

"But you're still wide awake." Clarke complained softly, and while the girl was quite nice for not wanting to force Lexa's hand on when to go to bed, it was unnecessary.

"I've been getting a little sleepier, and my body is dead tired, so I need the rest as much as you do." Lexa clarified, hoping it would help convince the stubborn blonde to do what was best for them both.

Clarke let out a sigh and slowly nodded against her shoulder. "Alright, then. You want to wash up first? I have some spare stuff beneath the sink you can use."

Lexa tilted her head to where she could see the blonde's sleepy face and nodded, knowing Clarke really did seem to need the rest. With more reluctance than was maybe appropriate, Lexa took hold of the hands clasped around her waist and pulled them apart and to the side. She turned around and moved to a kneel between Clarke's legs, momentarily admiring how utterly beautiful the sleepy girl was just splayed out in her robe, looking up at Lexa with kind, bleary eyes and a smile as warm as a summer morning.

"Don't fall asleep yet, Clarke. You deserve to have something nicer than pillows and a hard floor beneath you." Lexa noted, eyebrow cocked in expectation for the blonde to start moving, but the girl just inexplicably started giggling. Perhaps Clarke is just overtired. Sometimes I get giggly when I've been up too long...

"Are you suggesting anything in particular, Lexa?" Clarke asked after coming down from her giggle-fit, though the blonde apparently couldn't help but let another few out after her puzzling question. Lexa was fairly certain she wasn't suggesting anything aside from the obvious.

It was a moment later, as her eyes took a second brief opportunistic scan of Clarke's body that she realized the blonde had sunk down quite a bit more on the pillows, and was more or less laying down, Lexa looming over her. Suddenly, her words and Clarke's question fit neatly into an entirely different context than she'd intended.

"Goddamn it, Lexa no..." She mumbled to herself, eyes clamping shut as blood rushed to her cheeks for the millionth time that night, taking one steadying breath after another to calm her racing heart and quell the tendrils of anxiety keeping her rooted in place. Lexa ignored Clarke's peals of laughter and got to her feet, marching off towards the washroom. Only to realize she'd blindly marched into the kitchen instead, which only added to her embarrassment when she had to open her eyes and navigate back out into the living room and scan the area for where the washroom might be.

Clarke, of course, was bright eyed and still laughing at her. "Just use the ensuite in my room. You can grab a t-shirt from my dresser, too, if you want." Clarke let out between laughs, pointing off towards a door at the back of the living room that was slightly ajar.

Not wanting any more embarrassment, Lexa quickly made her way into the bedroom, and grabbed whatever shirt was at the top of the dresser. A quick glance revealed it was some distressed, or very worn out Carolina Hurricanes top. Lexa shook her head in confusion and the minor sense of betrayal wearing it could cause, and headed to the ensuite's sink, checking underneath to find a spare toothbrush, some wipes, and some mouthwash. She went to work, going through her usual routine, being as thorough as possible until her face was fully cleaned and exfoliated, and her mouth was as fresh and clean as possible. The last thing she needed was to finish up so quickly that Clarke would still be laughing at her accidental innuendo.

When she'd completed her routine, or as much of it as she could given the circumstances, Lexa let her hand rest on the doorknob, hoping for some semblance of composure because this all seemed like some next-level grade situation in comparison to what she'd already navigated through. Combined with avoiding clothing herself in rival colours, instead opting for just her underwear, it all felt a little nerve-wracking. Though it's not as if she hasn't seen most of my body as well...it's not as if I cover myself much in the gym...not much more than I am now...but still, she might think that...that I...ugh...

Earlier was easy. Lexa wasn't unimaginative; she'd had many a fantasy about Clarke in the past, all of which she'd pushed to the back of her mind eventually, but those had somewhat prepared her for tonight. Given even her imagination often censored itself, and kept things fairly PG-rated, it was easy to handle cuddling up with Clarke and watching some TV when she'd fantasized about curling up with the blonde dozens of times before, and when she had literally snuggled up with Clarke in the past as well.

The issue of where each of them would sleep, and the potential of certain intimate options involved, had Lexa practically vibrating, her hands shaking slightly in apprehension and anticipation of whatever was to come. I will have to improvise, I suppose...and I can manage that. It's just one night...

With a steadying breath, she opened the door and stepped out into the bedroom, finding herself mere feet away from Clarke. The blonde was at her dresser, removing her earrings, though Lexa knew from the flicker of Clarke's eyes that her entry hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Didn't find anything to wear?" The blonde asked, tone just uncertain enough to give Lexa slight pause.

"I didn't realize what I'd taken until I was in the bathroom. I will not wear a rival's logo, Clarke." Lexa answered, unfurling the t-shirt within Clarke's periphery before packing it away in the girl's dresser once more.

Clarke hesitated for a moment, tilting her head in question before a laugh bubbling out. "Oh, my Canes shirt. Should'a guessed you'd be a Caps fan...and I guess I understand. I'd never be caught dead wearing Red Wings anything."

Lexa hummed in turn, happy to at least have that much in common. She felt indifference towards most teams in the NHL, but a select few were big enough rivals to be worthy of full-on opposition. I just don't understand how she could cheer for the Hurricanes when she was raised in Virginia...

"It's been a good night, hasn't it?" Clarke offered airily, carefully hanging up her earrings before turning to face her. "I mean, as far as capping off a birthday goes, I'd like to think this was a success?"

As smooth and confident as Clarke had been earlier, Lexa could practically see the skittish undertones in the way Clarke's lips twitched a bit when she smiled, how those sapphire blue eyes seemed a little too alert and focused for trying to sound so casual. Clarke was nervous, and Lexa couldn't help but feel a little baffled about it all, even if Clarke was a little cute when she was trying too hard.

"I suppose so, even if my friends did pay you to be with me." Lexa said as she scanned the room for something to focus on, barely needing a second to realize she'd said the wrong thing. Of all the words in the world, it seemed absurd that she managed to blurt out the ones that could ruin everything.

"Lexa..." Clarke spoke her name in clear warning as the blonde padded barefoot across the room to her. Soft, warm hands took hold of her cheeks and directed Lexa's attention until their eyes met once again. And like hell if Clarke's freshly scrubbed bare face wasn't breathtaking. "Lexa, you've never been a client of mine. You're just Lexa...I'm just Clarke...and I think we've had a nice night together."

Lexa let her eyes droop closed as Clarke's sheer presence overwhelmed her. The seductive, velvety lull of her voice, the tender caress of the blonde's palms against her face, the wicked and seductive serenity that Clarke's aroma inspired. "We have..." Lexa breathed out, heart thudding hard against her rib cage, faster and faster with each stroke of Clarke's thumb against her cheek, each inhale of that jasmine vanilla mixture.

"We can continue the night together, Lexa, if you want?"

The question confirming a certain possibility, positioning it as Lexa's decision, combined with the sensory overload, all had Lexa turning on her heel and walking off towards the window. "Please do not take this as rejection Clarke. Your...perfume...makes it difficult to focus. I just need a moment." She admitted, because as embarrassing as the truth was, she couldn't stand the thought of upsetting Clarke three times in one night. Not anymore, even if that made her weak. She could be stronger tomorrow, when it wasn't her birthday, the one time of the year she allowed herself to be remotely selfish.

"Oh...you know, sometimes I wonder why I even try for some kind of signature scent. Raven and O make fun of me for it all the time, I shouldn't be surprised that you don't like it, either." Clarke noted with suddenly shaky syllables and a clear spike in uncertainty in their delivery, and shit, that was not what she had intended.

"Trust me, Clarke, leaving you when you smell like that is the last thing on my mind. The last thing I want to do." Lexa blurted out, blushing at her own forwardness and entirely certain that facing the window had been a good decision. Lexa was pretty sure that whatever expression went along with the hitched breath Clarke let out would probably have the power to further unravel her.

"That's good to know." The words left Clarke all low and smooth, practically a purr, and Lexa found her teeth gnawing into her lower lip before she could even think to respond to the words. "So, what'll it be? Will you stay with me?"

One night...it's just one night. One night with a pretty girl, and it doesn't have to be anything, it doesn't have to mean anything. Everything goes back to normal tomorrow...it's just one night... Lexa mused internally, repeating the words like a mantra as she cobbled together all her courage, all the strength she'd built with Anya's tireless efforts. When her heart rate slowed to within reason, when the anxiety had receded to the periphery of her mind, when she could focus fully on the girl in front of her, Lexa willed herself to nod.

The small gesture was taxing, exhaustion flooding her even as Clarke's smile lit up the room like the mid-morning sun. "I guess I'll take the right side of the bed, then. I prefer to be closest to the window."

"Do you..." Lexa started, the brazen words atop her tongue forcing her mouth shut as soon as she realized what she was going to say.

"Do I...what?" Clarke asked, eyes narrowing in confusion, if with a bit of amusement at their edges.

Lexa weighed her options, knowing she could let the words on her tongue die off, and they could continue to bed. It'd certainly make for a cleaner finish to the night, really. Still, as scary as it all was, a part of her had missed being flirted with. She'd miss how words could make her face all red and warm, how they could draw a smile no matter her willpower. It didn't have to mean anything larger than it was, either, she knew that much. Lexa was well aware that people flirted with strangers all the time, so it didn't have to mean anything.

At least, nothing more than wanting Clarke to feel worthy of some positive attention, to feel appreciated. Clarke had called me pretty, after all. Would it be so wrong of me to show her that...that I think she is, too?

Still, the fact that they were in a bedroom, at the end of their night together, had her toning her words down a little, deciding to try and lead into them instead. "Do you usually wear this to bed?" She asked, gesturing to the gorgeous robe still snugly wrapped around Clarke, bringing out the blues of her eyes even in the dim light of the bedroom.

Clarke's hand lifted, tucking away some stray locks of hair behind an ear as she blushed. "It makes me feel fancy. Elegant, even, sometimes. But if you'd prefer it off...?" Clarke let out, words trailing off in question, prompting Lexa to cross the room again, stepping into the blonde's personal bubble of space.

And maybe she needed a steadying breath and an internal five count before she could speak, but this wasn't the movies. She was allowed to not be perfectly smooth. "It's strange to sleep so covered up..." She started, swallowing hard before reaching out and taking hold of the knot keeping it tied in place. "But it does accent your radiance, Clarke. Still...you don't have to try so hard."

Clarke's gaze flickered up to meet her own, mouth parting to speak before those blue eyes flickered down to Lexa's hands fiddling with the knot. "And why's that?"

"Your beauty is already elegant, Clarke." Lexa added quietly, allowing herself a smirk at Clarke's slow smile and deeper blush. Already feeling knee deep in her current situation, Lexa pulled at the tie, freeing up the robe.

Clarke ducked her head, the robe effortlessly falling to the floor as the blonde stepped within inches of her. "I'll try not to let that go to my head..." Clarke murmured with a smile, head tilting so the blonde was peering up through her lashes. "So...is this goodnight, then?"

With the intensity of Clarke's inquisitive gaze, her grace, her beauty, her mere presence, it was hard not to feel staggered. There was no strength in this, Lexa knew. Her lungs tighter and constrained, her throat constricted, her limbs increasingly fatigued, her head swimming as the most mundane and selfish thoughts ran rampant.

It had been so long since she had felt so overwhelmingly weak, so perhaps that's why one of her sluggish arms reached out, hand cupping the blonde's cheek, her already sagging body dipping forward to draw Clarke into a kiss.

At the press of their lips, as the gentle pressure of Clarke's matched her own in the languid kiss that threatened to have her legs collapsing, Lexa's mind was suddenly light and weightless. The rest of her body may have been on the verge of failure, heart screaming against her ribs and fingers trembling against Clarke's cheek, but where fear and weakness had saturated her thoughts before, nothing remained.

Clarke's head tilted slightly, a pale hand cupping her elbow enough for Lexa to remain upright. The mere shred of support fueled her body with vitality and purpose, letting her free hand grasp at the blonde's waist and tug her closer until they were skin to skin. Lexa let her nose trail against Clarke's, the briefest moment of separation between their lips jolting her with a sense of loss that was only relieved when Clarke edged forward to kiss her again.

Which, in turn, startled that weakness and fear back into overdrive; needing Clarke's touch to feel stable and strong again was not what she'd signed up for. She'd wanted to escalate their affection and flirting, she'd wanted to cap off her birthday with something nice, not something that resonated deep inside of her and rattled the skeletons in her closet. Something that could linger inside of her for who knew how long.

Whether it was impeccable timing, or Clarke recognizing the slight shift in her posture, the blonde began pulling back, each increase of distance purchased with a fluttering of kisses across her lips, her chin, her jaw. It was after one last kiss to her nose that Clarke took a step back, the hand on Lexa's elbow shifting down to lightly entwine with her hand.

"Goodnight, Lexa. Happy Birthday." Clarke whispered with a shy smile that arrested her, at least until Clarke had stepped away enough to have to tug Lexa closer en route to the bed.

Lexa's gaze held as Clarke pulled back the covers of her bed and slipped beneath them, slowly scooting until the blonde was in the middle of the bed, holding the duvet up for Lexa to get in. She closed her eyes, focused on how Clarke had held her not so long ago, how safe and freeing that felt , and reached behind her back to unclasp her bra and remove it.

To Clarke's credit, the girl's eyes never for a moment left her own as Lexa took the last step and crawled into bed, the duvet gently draping over her body as Clarke let go of it. It was that connection that had Lexa shifting closer, the mantra of 'it's just one night' repeating in her head as she met Clarke in the middle of the bed, lifting an arm slightly in unspoken question.

"Of course, Lexa." Clarke whispered, eyes fluttering shut as Lexa reached out and pulled Clarke close, the blonde's arms snaking around her waist in turn. It'd been one thing to be held by Clarke out in the living room, with the blonde at her back. It was another to be face to face, a breath away from meeting those dangerous, seductive lips again.

Thankfully, Clarke's body heat and the comfort of her embrace eclipsed the simmering desires bouncing around Lexa's mind, all that adrenaline and energy drawn from kissing the girl in her arms melting away as Clarke hooked a leg across her hip.

It was so different than what she had been used to with Costia, who would rarely be able to sleep if she weren't on her stomach. It'd made cuddling together in bed a little difficult, not that Lexa had minded. Still, there was something a little wonderful about a prospective partner's face being the last thing she'd see before falling asleep.

Which immediately had Lexa biting back the intrusive thoughts, fear, and guilt, knowing that such a notion alone was dangerously weak. Tomorrow...I'll deal with it all tomorrow...it'll be over tomorrow. Let's...let's just enjoy the moment...I can handle anything else tomorrow...

Lexa was nearly too lost in thought to notice Clarke leaning closer momentarily, those familiar soft lips pressing and lingering at her cheek. "Shhh...sleep. I've got you tonight... you can leave those thoughts for the morning." Clarke murmured, the gentle slope of her nose grazing against Lexa's cheek. As preposterous as it was, that simple offering dulled out the concerns bouncing around in her head. At least, enough for her to close her eyes and feel her exhaustion finally come along.

"Good night, Clarke." She let out with a smile, knowing that at least for now, in that moment, even if it was fleeting, she could say she was happy.