Okay so this chapter is very long and drama filled but very important! I swear after this one things will start falling into place. But until then, let the angst continue!
I know you're reading so please review!
SM owns Twilight
BPOV
I don't know exactly why I didn't pick up Edward's phone call. Or the next one. Or the next. Awkwardness was the last thing I wanted to condone, but having a conversation with him right now would have driven me crazy. I knew I would get angry with him if he wanted to talk about it but at the same time I knew I would only get agitated if he tried to pretend like nothing had happened. For whatever reason, I silently slid my phone into my back pocket.
It was times like this that I often wondered if cowardice had just as much of a part as curiosity did in killing the damn cat.
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"Honestly, Alice. This dress looks exactly like the other four I tried on." I sighed. We had been trapped in my room for the better half of the afternoon and my patience was dwindling. Initially, my mind had been preoccupied with thoughts of Edward, but even his beautiful face could not block out the torture of trying on LBDs for hours on end.
"What are you talking about Bella?!" she yelled in disgust as she snatched yet again another black dress from her closet. "You're wearing a Zac Posen mini, and a minute ago you had on a Rodarte frock. Can you at least pretend to have a little fashion sense?"
"Whatever Alice. I still don't understand why we're doing all of this."
"You know exactly why" she retorted, rolling her eyes.
I was about to tell her that there was really no hope in my little situation-or rather huge situation- when soft chimes filled the air, interrupting my lies.
"And that'll be your date!" Alice squealed, pulling me towards the door. I gave her a dirty look as I made my way through the living room. She had insisted on keeping my date a secret, and since her surprises often tended to lean towards the extreme, I quietly braced myself for whoever…or whatever…might be on the other side of the door.
A trail of relief exited my body as a dazzling smile met my eyes.
"Hi, you must be Bella." His voice was soft and sweet but definitely held a note of masculinity.
I blushed as he handed me a bouquet of roses. Alice had really outdone herself.
"Yeah come in," I said, shutting the door behind him. "Thanks for the flowers"
"No problem" he laughed, giving me a wink.
That smile was really doing a number on me.
He followed me to the kitchen as I opened a cabinet, searching for a vase.
"So, what's your name?" I said as I found the glass vase shoved between a blender and a toaster. Straining, I climbed on the counter for better leverage. Bad idea. I managed to grab the vase but not before losing my grip and falling backwards.
But before I could hit the hard tile floor, a pair of strong hands engulfed me.
"Uh… its Jacob." He said, trying to stifle back a laugh.
How…embarrassing.
"Oh, uh.." I stuttered, "Thanks for catching me…Jacob."
He was still holding me when loud shrills filled the room.
"Wow…I leave you alone for 5 minutes and I see he's already swept you off your feet."
I rolled my eyes as Alice giggled at her corny joke. Jacob placed me back on my feet and handed me the vase.
"Thanks," I murmured as I walked to the sink to fill it with water.
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Five minutes later we were in the car and on our way to Heather's party. Alice and Jasper were in their own little world as usual, kissing and touching at any available second. Normally their PDA would have depressed me, but instead it gave me a chance to get to know Jacob. He was actually really fun company…or rather he was good at keeping my mind off of Edward for more than 2 seconds at a time. It was quite refreshing. Apparently he and Alice had a class together and were good friends. He was new to Forks and like most, hadn't exactly gotten used to the terrible weather but otherwise liked it. While majoring in engineering, he also played college baseball.
Jacob was funny and charming. And if I were any other person I would have noticed the true depth of his personality but of course, I was only concerned with the differences and similarities he held with Edward. And so far there were many.
He played baseball. So did Edward.
He was muscular. Edward was lean.
He was practical. Edward was spontaneous.
He was handsome. Edward was gorgeous.
My list dragged on for the rest of the ride. When we got to Heather's house, my thoughts were interrupted by a sudden burst of adrenaline. I hadn't talked to Edward since last night despite the five missed phone calls that now bored onto my phone. I had avoided him all day long only to end up at the exact same place that he was. Great.
Music blared from every floor of Heather's three story complex. Somehow she had convinced her parents that she needed a huge apartment when she was away at college, and surprise surprise, they bought her one.
"Let's get drinks!" Alice yelled through the music. She had already begun dancing and we had barely made it past the door. I giggled at her as we made our way to the elaborate bar in the center of the room. It was lined with drinks and bartenders that barely looked of legal age.
After ten minutes of watching Jasper and Alice take shots, I made my way to a nearby couch with Jacob.
"You want to dance?" he whispered shyly into my ear as we sat down.
"Um…not unless you enjoy having Jimmy Choos rammed into your feet all night" I laughed through the music.
"Nonsense." He shrugged as he grabbed my wrists and heaved me onto my feet. "I'll teach you."
I gave him a wary glance before letting him lead me to the dance floor. This should be interesting. The only person I'd ever danced with was Edward but I felt like I owed something to Jacob. He had agreed to go out with a highly unstable girl who was in love with her best friend. The least I could do was dance with him.
The first song that came on had a fast tempo. Jacob flashed me one of his breathtaking smiles as he wrapped his right arm around my waste. His hips swayed slightly to the music and he gave me a reassuring squeeze, prompting me to do the same. I'm sure I looked ridiculous in my pitiful attempt to "move my body to the beat" but despite my horrid dance moves, I had to admit I was having fun. And by the end of the second song I actually felt like I could at least dance along with the beat instead of just swaying back and forth randomly. We were embarking on our third dance when I saw him.
My heart froze as Edward shifted his way through the dance floor. He had on a light pair of jeans with a dark blazer. His hair was its usual mess and through the slivers of light escaping from various directions I could see the copper hidden in it. I felt a pang of guilt as I realized I hadn't yet noticed what Jacob was wearing. When I returned my attention back to him, I was greeted with a look of concern.
"Are you okay" he said.
"Um…yeah…I just uh…." Think, Bella think. "I need to use the restroom. I'll be back." Before I knew it, I had detangled my body from Jacob's and was fleeting towards Edward's direction. I don't really know what I was doing but I couldn't just stand there. Maybe it was one of those fight and flight reactions. I guess I was flying… or rather fighting, depending on which way you looked at it.
Again I don't know why but at that moment, I knew I had to tell him. As odd as it was, I just felt like it was now or never. I needed Edward to know how I felt about him. Right here. Right now. And the strangest thing was, I wasn't nervous. My feet kept moving and my heart kept beating. And I was doing it.
I followed him through the crowded dance floor. But as we made it to the bar a song came on that sent people into an almost frenzy, and I lost sight of him. Wheeling around towards the stairs, I spotted Alice and Jasper.
"Alice!!" I yelled through the blaring sound. "Did you see where Edward went!"
Her eyes looked dazed as she glanced in my direction. Alice never had high a tolerance for alcohol and I could only imagine what tomorrow would be like for her.
"Upstairs!" she screamed as her fingers signaled the down position. I rolled my eyes as I headed up the winding staircase.
EPOV
I was pissed. And for the mere reason that it was the only emotion I had left. Bella was avoiding me and my roommate ,Tyler had insisted upon dragging me to a party in the midst of it all. Two weeks ago I would have given anything to spend the night drinking and dancing but then again two weeks ago, I had had a best friend to accompany me. Now Bella was gone and everything seemed to be moving at a painfully slow pace.
I was making my way to the bar when I first saw her. She was beautiful. She had on a tight but flattering black dress that hugged her in all the right places: a definite courtesy of Alice. Her hair was down, and light waves flowed towards the ends. I knew Bella had been invited to go, but I doubted I would see her since she wasn't a big party goer. She would have much rather stay home and read a book, or write one for that matter, or watch some cheesy horror film. She wasn't in to most unnecessary things and that was one of the many reasons why I was in love with her. She was determined and didn't get distracted. In many ways, Bella was my motivation.
Almost immediately, I was pulled from my thoughts as I noticed she was dancing with some guy. Over the many years of loving Bella I had learned to cope with my constant jealousy. She was beautiful, and although she never realized it, many guys did. I always gave her advice when she did date, but thankfully it never lasted long. I never asked why because to speak quite honestly, I didn't want to hear about it. If her love life wasn't with me it was the last thing I wanted to hear of.
But tonight was different. I had been so close to telling Bella that seeing her that moment with another guy hurt like hell. Obviously our little experience meant nothing to her. Here she was, dancing- which she only ever did with me- and she was smiling. She was smiling while I was burning.
I had only realized that I had stopped moving when an elbow suddenly collided with my right rib. Turning around, I rolled my eyes as I spotted a drunken Tanya smiling at me.
"Oh sorry Eddie" she cooed, using the annoying nickname she'd created for me back in high school. Tanya had been one of the many promiscuous girls who had longed for my attention back then. She would have been a really good friend to me if only she had managed to direct her attention away from my pants for more than two seconds. Instead, she was just irritating.
"Bye Tanya." I said, with a little bit more force than I meant to. I couldn't help it. I was agitated.
I turned from her to look for Tyler. I know we had just gotten here but I was ready to go. Watching Bella dance on another guy all night was the last thing I wanted to do.
I trudged up the winding stairs, stepping over drunken make out sessions on my way there. Her second floor was just as hectic as her first. Blue and red lights flashed across moving bodies as I made my way down the marbled halls. Florida's song "Low" was permeating through the walls way to loudly and my head was beginning to hurt. Tyler was still nowhere in sight and I was getting annoyed.
I opened the doors to one of the many abandoned bedrooms and made my way to the edge of the bed. I placed my head in my hands to block out the music. If I didn't get home fast, I was going to combust.
As I was about to get up, I felt cold hands run down the back of my arm. I looked up in disgust as I found that Tanya had once again managed to find me.
"Tanya…please…go" I whispered, replacing my head in my hands. This night was only getting worst by the minute.
"Oh Eddie, what's wrong." She sighed in her annoying raspy voice, "Don't push me away…we can just talk if you want."
I looked at her curiously through my hands. She looked genuinely concerned and I needed to vent. I slowly lifted my head to meet her reassuring smile.
BPOV
I made my way up the stairs but not before nearly falling over the many stiff bodies that scattered the rising steps. Squinting my eyes, I walked through the red lighted hall as music screamed past me. There were people everywhere…kissing, dancing, laughing, drinking, smoking. I really wasn't used to parties like this and I almost gagged as I shrugged past a group of girls making out.
My perseverance was declining as I fumbled down a marbled hallway. It felt like hours passing as I looked through each door. Finally I heard something.
Turning the corner I heard what sounded like Edward's voice.
My heart began to pound as I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. My legs almost buckled at the sight in front of me.
EPOV
I knew I wasn't going to find Tyler anytime soon so I decided it couldn't hurt to talk to Tanya about it. She was drunk and chances were she probably wouldn't remember our conversation in the morning and all I really wanted was someone to listen. Hiding my secret was starting to mess with me.
"I'm just so screwed right now." I said glancing down at my lap.
"What do you mean," she whispered grabbing my hand. I was so frustrated I didn't even bother to break from her grasp.
"I ruined everything. And now she doesn't even know how I-" I couldn't even finish before Tanya's lips came crashing down on mine. I tried to back away but she immediately locked her hands around my neck. Pushing her away as lightly as my anger would allow, I finally broke away from her advancing tongue.
"Tanya what the hell!" I yelled, furious.
"What?" she cooed, moving closer towards me as she placed a hand on my chest, which I quickly slapped away. "I was just trying to comfort you"
"With your tongue?" I asked incredulously, standing up. I walked out of the room, livid. This night was surely climbing towards the top of my worst. I had to get out. Tyler could find his own ride home.
BPOV
Seeing Edward kiss Tanya sent me flying down the stairs, my eyes filling with tears.
I had to get out.
I was running so hard that before I knew it, I had nearly collided into Jacob.
"There you are" he said but immediately stopped once he saw my face.
"Bella what's wrong." His voice was hard and he looked upset.
I shook my head before answering and grabbed his arm.
"I have to leave…now" I managed to get out past all the tears. "Please"
"Okay, I'll take you, just let me get the keys from Alice".
After making sure they could get a ride home, I was on the road with Jacob. He was holding me and I was heaving under uncontrollable sobs. He didn't say anything. And for that I was grateful.
Okay so that was that! Now let the confessions begin! R
