"It's not my fault that you always forget to pack a real lunch, Gabby." Taylor grabbed her peanut butter and jelly out of my hands. She was right, it was not her fault that I never bring lunch. Usually, she's nice enough to give me a couple carrots or half her sandwich to get me over until I go home. But today she was different, and not just about her food. She barely said anything today in the car ride to school and she didn't say one salty remark during English.

I forfeited the sandwich. I know better than to resist. "Are you okay, Tay?" She nodded, but again I insisted, "Really Tay. You can talk to me."

She sighed and put down her oreo, "Chad Danforth is sleeping with my sister."

My eyes grew wide, "What the fuck? How do you know?" Her younger sister, Miranda, was a sophomore here at East High. She wasn't the total opposite of Taylor per say, she was incredibly smart and had the same doll-like features, but she had a much more sunny disposition. Miranda was a cheerleader and frequented the weekend parties that East High was known for. I, of course, had never been to one of these.

"Well, last night I went into Miranda's room to borrow a pair of jeans. I knocked, but her music was pretty loud, I guess," She trailed off, "Anyway, I opened the door and there they were. I didn't even know she had someone over."

"What did they do?" I asked.

Taylor rolled her eyes, "Well he jumped off the bed and she yelled at me to leave, but by the time she started yelling I was out of there." She covered her face with her hands, "Oh my God Gabby. My baby sister is fucking the biggest tool in the entire state of New Mexico and I can't do anything about it because she'd never listen to me."

"Did you tell your parents?" I ask, even though I know she definitely didn't. Taylor's parents have been M.I.A. ever since I've met her. Her father is some big producer out in Hollywood and only visits for holidays meanwhile her mother is always on some business trip. She hasn't even seen her mom since October, last I've heard.
She shook her head no. We spent the rest of lunch in a dull, awkward silence. She studied for her anatomy quiz next week and I began writing my daily blog. That morning, I was a little shocked to find that my mom was not home. The note she wrote last night telling Sara and I that she was going on a date was still on the counter, so I assumed she was in some divorcee's apartment uptown. I lived for mornings like today's. Sara and I made pancakes and were able to finally catch up. Her shifts at the hospital were mainly overnight, so I was only able to see her before school. Mom's screaming usually tainted those mornings for us, but today was peaceful.

Soon enough the bell rang and lunch was over. I said goodbye to Taylor and much to my dismay, she did not say it back. Once I got to chemistry, Sharpay's jaw dropped when she saw me. I almost forgot that I actually got dressed today. I threw on a dark green long-sleeved dress and paired it with some black boots. Sara helped me straighten my hair, and I borrowed her lipstick. I never really saw our family resemblance, except for days like today. Although my hair was definitely not as silky as hers, we both have the same cowlick in the front of out face. Our uncle has joked that the back of our heads look the same, but that's where everyone has always drawn the line. I'd hate to admit it, but I really did look good.

"Playing dress up?" Sharpay snarled at me as I sat down. I brushed it off. Her comments were becoming a novelty in my life. Yesterday she said my hair looked like a dog, and I couldn't help but laugh. At least I wasn't named after a dog. I thought to myself.
Our teacher began passing back tests, and I couldn't help but feel nervous from the choir of sighs and "oh shits" I heard across the room. I wasn't necessarily bad at chem, but I wasn't ready to become a chemist either. Mr. Karp passed me my test, 97. I was a little shocked, but I smiled to myself.

As I was putting the test away, Sharpay ripped it from my hands. "How the fuck did you do that? I got a 54 and I'm sitting right next to you."

"I just studied," I shrugged, "You should try it sometime."

"Um, excuse me? Who do you think you're talking to, bitch." She groaned, "You have to help me out in this class."

I was truly amazed, "Why would I ever do that?"

Sharpay lowered her voice, "Okay, look, if I don't pass this class I can't be in the spring musical. People from Julliard are coming to watch my performance. It's going to be one of the most important shows of my life, I can't miss it." Her pale blue eyes actually looked nervous, an emotion I never thought Sharpay could convey.

"Well, I guess I could help you." I couldn't believe I said that. What was I getting myself into? "Just stop calling me ugly all the time? It's starting to get really annoying."

She laughed, "Well whatever! I'm just thinking out loud most of the time. I can't help it."

I laughed too, I couldn't believe she said that. "Then I can't help you, Sharpay." I turned away from her. Just when I thought she had some level of humanity in her, I was once again proved to be wrong.

Sharpay panicked, "Wait! If I try to not say everything I think, would you help me?"

I rolled my eyes, "Fine. I'm sure Mr. Karp was planning on making me do it eventually anyway."

Suddenly, I jolted up as I felt someone's arms wrap around me. Sharpay Evans was hugging me. "Okay wow, please stop." I pushed her off of me. She was smiling, and it was a type of smile I'd never seen before. To my complete and utter surprise, Sharpay Evans was happy, and she hadn't even made fun of someone.


*one new message*

I walked over to my desk. It was Dan. Honestly, I was not expecting to hear back from him so soon after last night's talk. He posted another blog about how much his dad is obsessed with him becoming the captain this season earlier today. It was less angry, but it wasn't necessarily bright either.

GottaBolt: Norah, are you busy?

Norahble: Nope. Are you still mad at me?

GottaBolt: No. But please stop acting like you know how bad my father is.

If there is one thing I can count on Dan for, it's a non-apology.

Norahble: No promises.

GottaBolt: Hey, you've never told me what your dad is like.

Norahble: I don't really want to.

GottaBolt: That's unfair.

I sat back in the desk chair. Unfair? I don't owe him any explanation about anything in my life. Dan was becoming to be both incredibly annoying and controlling, and I was really not a fan of either.

Norahble: He's an asshole. In a different way that your dad is. I wouldn't want to one up you.

GottaBolt: Why would you one up me?

Norahble: He sucks, point blank. He's an addict. He spent all my mom and his retirement fund on alcohol and cocaine and when that wasn't enough, he used heroin. We used to live in Houston, but my sister, mom, and I left after he got really bad. I haven't talked to him since I was ten.

Not even Taylor knows how bad things got between my dad and us. One day, right before we left, I got home from school and heard my parents fighting in our small kitchen. She had burned some mac and cheese and he was high or drunk or both and was screaming at her. I peered in from the doorway, hiding behind to wall. My mom's eyes were black from her running mascara, and he was grabbing her by the shoulders, spitting his words into her face. After he was done screaming, he turned around and saw me standing there. His jaw clenched when he saw my small frame. He stormed over and picked me up, screaming at me. Telling me I should stay in my place and go fuck off. I started to cry, and because I was crying he smashed his bottle across my face, cutting my cheek. After that he ran out of the house and drove off. My mom rushed over, and it was obvious I needed stitches. I don't remember the pain, because it was so long ago, but judging from the scar on my right side of my face it must have been bad. He took the car, so my mom ran over to the neighbor's house and begged to borrow their car, and we eventually ended up in the hospital. We left the next week for my grandmother's house in Phoenix, but we stayed in Albuquerque because my mom landed a job at some insurance firm.

GottaBolt: I'm sorry, Norah.

Norahble: Don't be. It was a long time ago. Besides, I like New Mexico way better than Texas.

Oh shit. I'd been careful to not mention where I live since I'd started this blog.

GottaBolt: No way! What part of New Mexico? I'm in Albuquerque. That's so weird.

I slammed my computer shut. Was he just messing with me? I didn't want to find out. He was definitely messing with me, it's so unlikely that we would live in the same city. Maybe Taylor is right and he is a serial killer, and now I've given him my general location. I bet now he's going to track down my IP address and come murder me in my sleep. How could I fuck up so badly? I sighed and walked over to my bed, flopping over. My cat, Leo, jumped onto my bed. He walked over to me purring. "What am I gonna do?" I asked as I patted his head.

"Hey Gabby. You got a minute?" Sara knocked on my door. She walked in. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and she was still in her scrubs, she must have just gotten home. I nodded and she sat on my bed. She was playing with her hands, she was nervous. "I've been seeing someone."

I smiled, Sara had been single for as long as I could remember. It never really made sense to me, she was beautiful. "That's so good Sara, how long?"

"A couple months or so," She smiled, but then it quickly faded, "We went to high school together. I don't think you'll remember him, but it's Tyler Erickson."

She was right, I didn't remember him. She kept going, "He lives in San Diego now and we've been catching up and he visited last month. He, um, he wants me to move out there to be with him."

I was surprised, to say the least. Sara has never seemed like the type of person to move to another state to be with some guy she's only been seeing for a couple months. "Are you going to?"

She nodded, "I already talked to mom, but I've been afraid to tell you. I don't want you to think I'm abandoning you or anything."

"Why would I think that?"

Sara sighed, "I only stayed in Albuquerque for you Gabby. I don't want you to be alone."

"You shouldn't put your life on pause, you should go." I said. "I'll be fine." I knew as soon as I said that that I would not be fine without her. She has always been my rock, my guardian I guess. I know I have Taylor, but other than her the only person I've ever been able to count on is Sara. Without Sara around, who would protect me? Who would take my side? I was even beginning to dread college because I didn't want to be away from her.

Sara's face lit up, "Thank you so much Gabby." She hugged me. Ever since we were little, Sara has inexplicably smelt like vanilla. I breathed in the scent and began to cry. I didn't know how I could ever survive without my sister around.

"When are you leaving?" I asked, trying to hide my tears.

"Well, today was my last day at work. So technically whenever I want to."

My heart sunk. I'd been given news without little warning before, but nothing like this.

"Do you have a job out there? What are you going to do?" Sara was the top nurse at her hospital, and I'm sure she'll be able to get any job she could ever want with just one letter of rec from her old boss.

She told me no and that she isn't too worried about it. Apparently, Tyler was some big shot programmer for an app company and already owned a house. My sister explained that she would most likely be leaving in a few weeks, she only has to finish packing. I was shocked. Sara had never been a spontaneous person. At the same time, I was proud of her for doing something for herself. As much as I needed her, I was holding her back. The last thing I wanted was to be the reason why she's miserable.

"Hey, let's go order some take out before mom comes home. I know you want some lo mein!" Sara jumped up and ran downstairs. I wiped away another tear and followed her.


*one new message*

GottaBolt: Hey you there?

I sighed. I would have to talk to him sooner or later.

Norahble: Yeah I'm here. What's up?

GottaBolt: Why'd you disappear on me earlier?

Norahble: Sorry, things just kinda popped up. My sister is moving.

GottaBolt: Oh, is that bad?

Norahble: It's whatever. She'll be happier with her boyfriend. I hope. I haven't met him.

GottaBolt: Well good for her. So...New Mexico?

Norahble: Yup.

That's all you're getting out of me. I thought. I don't want to get psycho-killer murdered by some stranger on the internet.

Gottabolt: That's so weird.

Norahble: Tell me about it.

GottaBolt: Well, we could be in the same coffee line and not know. That's just, weird.

He was right. It's crazy and also insanely creepy. I didn't know how to feel about it. It was scary and also very cool. What if we've always known each other, but because I don't use my real name, he won't know it's me. That became the only comforting thought on the subject for me.