Okay first off I think I have some explaining to do. I know in the beginning I promised quick updates and what not and I apologize for all that have been waiting anxiously day in and day out. I kind of fell off with this story. I'm not going to lie. And if I'm being quite honest, I'm surprised you haven't as well.
It's like I read past chapters and I can't believe the amount of mush I put into them. But at the same time, I find myself falling in love with the story all over again. So I am NOT going to give up on it. I will finish it and hopefully it will get less mushier and more realistic.
I read so many stories where Bella is this infamous writer but you never really hear about where that takes her. So I really want to play on her success and I do like this Edward/Bella so they will of course take center stage once more. But they will have problems. All relationships do.
So I'm glad you guys are still reading and, again, apologize for the wait. But really, wouldn't you rather read something that was inspired versus something that was rushed???
Please tell me what you think and what you genuinely like about this story because maybe it will help me love it more. I'm not one for review whores but it would be nice for some constructive feedback.
OH AND PLEASE!!! READ MY OTHER STORY!! LOVE KNOWS HATE IS A CURE!!
Not even a third of you are reading and I know the idea is so out there but I know you'll like it! I don't want to bribe or anything but if I start getting equal feedback it might entice me to stop ignoring this one!
See you at the bottom.
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BPOV
"Alice, are you sure Rose even wants this flower arrangement?" I said eyeing the link that she had just directed me to.
"Yah, why?" she replied suddenly at my side. Something fell onto the keys and I looked down to see that it was the remnants of her and Emmett's disastrous breakfast. I frowned as the stench of the peanut butter marinated chicken penetrated my nose. My eyes trailed to the couch where Emmett sat eating the same concoction with satisfaction written all over his face.
"Alice…" I said pointing to the second piece of chicken that now residing in between the K and L.
"Oh sorry…" I watched in disgust as she plopped the pieces into her ravenous mouth. "But yah, that's the arrangement. It's beautiful isn't it?"
I stared at the screen for a couple more seconds, hoping Alice's thoughts of the flowers would somehow register into mine.
"It just doesn't seem like something she'd want." I said as I looked at the copious amounts of crystals dangling from a circular bouquet of hydrangeas. And then of course there were the random touches of pearls here and there. " I mean she did move to Forks voluntarily. Maybe she doesn't want something so…extravagant." I said, trying once more not to get on Alice's bad side. She'd been very pissy lately.
"Bella, she asked me to plan this wedding and that's what I'm doing. There's nothing wrong with the flowers. Just remember to pick them up today."
I raised my tired eyes to her classic expression and then smiled. Because, quite frankly that's all I could do nowadays when it came to her snappy remarks. Smile and comply. It was a lot less painful than refuting logic.
"Okay Alice."
I heard Emmett stifle a laugh as I shut down the computer and prepared to kick them out.
"Alright. Not that breakfast wasn't fantastic or anything," I said, holding back several gags as I remembered them downing nastiness all morning. "but I need you guys to go. I have to leave in a bit."
"Okay shorty, let's jet." Emmett said, heaving himself off my couch. I watched as Alice gathered her things and followed him to the door. He and Alice had gotten quite close over the last few days. Or rather Alice had suddenly gotten loads and loads of nasty cravings and Emmett was the only one who would eat them with her. This morning, for instance they had insisted on making me one of their newest found recipes. Thankfully I ate before they graced me with their cooking skills.
"Where are you going to anyways?" Alice said, her tone taking a complete 360. I think I even earned a genuine smile from her.
I cringed as my mind raked through possible believable answers. Alice and Emmett knew I was writing a book but they didn't exactly know what about. Or that it was finished. Or that I had submitted it months ago. Or that I was heading to a publishing company in a couple of hours. It's not like I didn't want them to know, I was just secretive when it came to my writing.
Plus at the time when I was writing my book about best friends falling in love, I was harboring my own sick love fest. And knowing Emmett, I don't ever think I'd hear the end of that one.
So they were kind of in the dark about what was going on. Call me a bad friend, I call it survival.
"Work." I said, trying to end the conversation with a quick smile before shutting the door.
"I thought you didn't work on Wednesdays."
"I….picked up an extra shift." I retorted, trying to keep my voice nice and clean.
Emmett frowned but seemed to buy it. I shut the door just as they began to depict what nasty cravings of Alice they were going to satisfy next.
It was not until I was hopping out of the shower did I realize that I had no idea of what kind of attire this meeting required. And of course I had just sent Alice, the best person to deal with this situation, fleeting out the door.
After five minutes of drowning in my closet, I decided to call the only other person I could think of to help me float.
"Rosalie…I need your help." I said into the phone as soon as she answered.
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Twenty minutes later Rose was constructing a formal yet refined outfit about my body.
She laughed when I frowned at her choice of shoes.
"Bella, you're not wearing flats to the meeting. Heels say profession. Flats don't speak at all."
I glanced at the clock, realizing that I only had about a half hour left and surrendered.
"Okay, I guess I can deal with it for today. Thanks, by the way."
She looked up from my feet and smiled. "Of course. But why did you call me? This kind of seems like an Alice moment."
"Yah well Alice has been testy lately and I don't need any more nerves."
She met my eyes with a nervous expression but otherwise nodded.
"And what about Edward?" she said as she nonchalantly pulled a curling iron through my hair. "Is he meeting you there?"
I cringed at her complete and utterly logical question. Of course she would think Edward would be accompanying me. I was embarking on one of the biggest steps in my life. It only made sense that he'd be there. But he wasn't.
She stopped what she was doing when I didn't answer. I met her eyes in the mirror that I currently resided in front of and shrugged.
"You mean, he's actually not going to be there?" she said with more disappointment in her voice than anger.
"Just finish with the hair Rose."
"Does he even know about today?" she said after a minute of awkward silence. By now her voice was livid with anger. I glanced at the clock and watched the minutes pass us by.
"He's been busy." I said, trying to once again keep my voice light. This conversation was doing nothing for my nerves.
She twirled the chair around with her foot so that I was facing her.
"So you mean to tell me that your boyfriend, not to mention the best friend who the entire story is based upon has no clue of what you're about to do right now?"
"No, Rose he doesn't." I said, wheeling myself back around as awkwardly as it was to do so and pointed to my hair.
She reluctantly brought the curling iron back to my tresses and danced through a few more pieces before she spoke again.
"You don't see how fucked up that is?"
I let out a long exasperated breath of air hoping that she would take it as a hint to stop nagging before answering.
"Yes Rose. I know that he should be there okay? I realize that. But he's not. He's working. It is what it is. So curl my damn hair before you make me late."
I hadn't realized how angry I was until the words left my mouth. I had tried not to think about what a disappointment it was to not have him here but that didn't change the facts.
"Rose I'm sorr-" I tried to say, quickly back peddling.
"See," she said smiling at me, "If you were that aggressive with Edward, he would be here right now."
She ran her hands through my hair and motioned for me to stand up.
"Alright chick, you go get your story published so I can read it. I'll clean up here and lock up before I leave."
I smiled and gave her a hug. It puzzled me how badly I had once thought of her. Yah she was outspoken and meddlesome, but she was extremely comforting and down to earth. I could truly see what my brother saw in her. He was slowly but surely making his way up the sanity list.
"And don't worry about Edward." She said with a wink. I gave her a questioning look and pulled her into another hug.
I grabbed more coffee while skimming through a copy of the manuscript I had sent Jasmine. After reassuring myself that I could do this, I threw it on the counter and grabbed my keys.
"Bye Rose!!" I yelled before slamming the door shut and making my way to my future.
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I walked up the towering steps to Sneak Publishers in somewhat of a numb state. My hand pulled at my form fitting dress, which simultaneously brought back waves of nervousness. I was almost done going through all the possible scenarios in my head, getting ready to clear it for what lied ahead when my phone vibrated.
Don't forget the flowers. You're picking them up at three.
I rolled my eyes at Alice's third reminder, tucked my phone back into my purse, ran a hand through my slightly curled tresses, ignored the screaming voice in my head that said Edward should be here and opened the door.
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An hour later I waved to the receptionist one last time, my smile never fading, and walked out the door. And then I stopped and frowned. There sitting on the steps, two feet below my own, was Edward. He had his feet lazily spread out in front of him, his back pressed against the slick concrete in what seemed the only comfortable position. He had one hand in his hair while the other one lightly flipped a page of something in his hand. At first I thought it was a newspaper. My breathing hitched when I realized it was my manuscript. The one I had left on the counter this morning. And then I panicked.
I'm not sure why but it never crossed my mind what it would be like to have Edward read a 400 page novel declaring my thoughts about our connection. I always pictured him hugging me and congratulating me on my success as a writer once it got published but had never really envisioned him actually reading it as he was doing so. It was unnerving to say the least.
Suddenly Edward shook his head and frowned, pulling me away from my thoughts.
"Nope…that's not true." He said glancing at me for the first time as he flipped through another page. I don't know if I was more startled that he was really there or that he was declaring something in my book to be false.
"What's not true?" I said, trying to keep my irritation at bay.
"Well if Rachel is supposed to be Jessica from high school, as I suspect she is, then she didn't break up with me because she was bored." He scoffed as his eyes trailed down another page.
Now it was my turn to frown as my mind floated through the memory of their break up. They had been going out for a while and had actually seemed to have grown somewhat serious, which of course did nothing for the aid of my heart, when suddenly it was over. Just like that. I think I even smiled a bit when he told me they were through.
"That's what you told me," I retorted.
"I lied." He said, simply, his eyes still locked on my book.
"Then why did she break up with you?" I challenged, sitting down next to him.
"For the same reason Anna and Britney did."
"Which was…"
"Because of you." He said slowly as he flipped another page.
"Be serious." I said, shielding the sun out of my eyes. I was still beyond furious with him and it suddenly annoyed me how easily he untangled himself from problems.
"I am." He said chuckling, "You ruined every relationship I ever had in high school Isabella Swan."
He looked at me when I didn't say anything and smiled. "What? You did."
"How?" I said, as he averted his eyes back to where he left off.
"Well, apparently I said your name while having sex with Jessica…several times..."
"That's not my fault."
"Yes it is. You knew what you were doing throughout highschool. I sort of resented you for it."
He laughed at the last part, and I couldn't stop the traitorous smile spreading across my face.
"Oh please. You try loving yourself. It's exhausting."
He winked at me and put the book down. His smile faded and I was met with seriousness.
"Bella, I'm so sorry."
I smiled because I knew he meant it and the fact that I had had control over him during high school had temporarily heightened my self esteem.
"Don't worry about it."
"No stop it. Don't brush this off."
I could tell he was getting angry but I didn't care. I was too busy envisioning him calling out my name in ecstasy. I could only imagine the look on Jessica's face as he pleasured himself to the likes of me. I was also avoiding confrontation because that's what I did. I did it with Edward all these years and I was doing it now.
"How many times?" I said, interrupting his I love you speech. Not that I didn't want to hear it, but I was a bit preoccupied.
"What?"
"How many times did you say my name?"
"Bella…" he sighed, running his hands through his hair. I heard frustration curled around his speech but could also see him fighting back a smile.
"Did she cry?" I asked smiling.
He pulled my body closer to him kissed my wrist.
"You don't know how extremely guilty I feel right now. I shouldn't be at only chapter six in your book Bella. God, I didn't even know you had finished it. This," he said grabbing the book, "is you and me.. I wanted to be the one to wake you up today. To be nervous with you. I wanted to be the one to walk you up these steps and hold your hand and remind you that you deserve every bit of this."
I smiled at his words because although I knew we were together, it still felt like he was confessing his feelings for me for the first time all over again.
"You're not freaked out that I wrote a book about you?"
"A book about us." He corrected.
"Us…" I repeated, loving the way it sounded.
"Yes, us. I'm sorry Bella, I promi-"
"No.." I said, flipping my hand through the air. "No promises.." I continued no longer looking at him. Eventually I met his eyes and smiled. And that's all I could do. I should've been angry. He deserved a pissy Bella. One that made him grovel at my feet and polish them while he was down there. But of course he didn't get that.
He was the one person I needed, no matter how annoying that small fact was.
"Just be there Edward. That's all I want."
He nodded and we walked down the remainder of the steps, hand in hand.
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EPOV
"So you never told me how your meeting went.." I said as I sat sprawled out on my couch. My head rested in her lap as she absentmindedly scratched at my scalp. It was beginning to become one of my favorite positions.
"How did you even know where it was?" she asked frowning.
I sat up and motioned for her to move so she was lying on my chest.
"Rose called." I said, quickly shooing away her question. Rose had done more than just called. She had shown up at my office with Bella's manuscript in hand, livid. I could see how she could handle Emmett's ridiculous personality. She was definitely not one to mess with. She had laid the guilt on me pretty hard…not that it wasn't already there to begin with.
"Oh," she said, yawning into my chest as she traced soft circles around my abs.
"So…are we published?" I said, the anxiety getting the better of me. I think I would have torn my hair out if she said no.
She looked up at me and grinned. "Not yet. They want me to revise a couple of chapters and then send them in next week. But she did tell me not to send my manuscript to any other publisher."
I couldn't help but smile at her expression.
"Don't feel too special… but you're kind of amazing." I whispered into her hair.
"You think so?" she said, tilting her head to meet my gaze.
"I know so."
I caught her lips as she giggled. I had just maneuvered myself on top of her, adjusting my weight so that it was comfortable when the door swung open.
"Unbelievable. Un-be-live-able."
I moaned in disgust at Alice's sudden voice.
"Shit." Bella muttered from underneath me. I grinned at her because she never cursed. It was kind of sexy.
"What's unbelievable Alice?" I said, getting off of Bella while reminding myself to switch the damn locks.
"Bella do you know what time it is?" she asked ignoring my question.
I looked down to Bella who had her eyes closed.
"It's almost six. SIX!" she shrieked.
Bella opened her eyes and I immediately felt bad for her. Alice had very dire bitch tendencies. Especially lately.
"Alice I can still-"
"Still what? Do the one thing I asked of you. Flowers, Bella, flowers."
"Exactly Alice!!" Bella retorted, standing up. "They're just flowers. We can reschedule. I can pick them up tomorrow."
"I called you at work."
Bella cringed as though she had been caught which made me frown. She didn't work on Wednesdays.
"Yep, I called and was oh so surprised to find out that you never picked up that extra shift you talked about. And then I called you and, again, not surprised you didn't answer. Then I went to your apartment. And of course you're not there because you're here. You're always fucking here."
Now I was completely confused with Alice's complete shift in conversation. It didn't really surprise me that Bella had lied about the meeting but Alice obviously didn't agree.
"Alice.." Bella said, looking completely blindsided.
"So where were you today Bella? Or am I not supposed to know?"
"Alice why are you crying?" Bella asked, becoming as panicked as I was. My sister was having a breakdown about flowers. Something wasn't right.
"You know, I may not be your number one best friend Bella, I may not be Edward, but I am still your friend."
Before anyone could say anything else, Alice left as quickly as she came.
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What did you think??? Worth the wait? God, I hope so....Review...tell me something.
