Here are the bloopers for the remaining chapters. Hope you enjoy! Leave a review after you've read!
(Reflecting after Cassie's memories)
Cassie: North. The magic you felt on me before, the winter magic; was it the Snow Queen's magic?
North: (Nodding) It was.
Bunny: (Pacing) This is bad. It's enough to have a murderous seasonal ruler on the loose; but think of all the winter spirits who follow her. Who bloody knows what she could do with all that help!
Jack: (Grins mischievously) She could make a monster-sized snowman.
(Suddenly a redheaded girl with her hair in two braids walks on set, singing)
Anna: Do you wanna build a snowmaaan…
Cassie: Anna, you're on the wrong set.
(Anna looks around at the set and at the yetis, elves and spirits occupying it.)
Anna: Oh…(laughs sheepishly) Sorry, heh.
(A voice from offstage calls Anna's name. Moments later, none other than Queen Elsa steps on set.)
Elsa: Anna, there you are! We're supposed to be two buildings down from here. (Turns to the others) I'm so sorry for the intrusion.
Jack: (Shrugs) Eh, no big deal. We already messed up this take anyway.
Elsa: Still, I'm very sorry. We'll just be going now.
(Elsa grabs Anna by the shoulders and steers her off the set. For a few moments there is silence. Then all eyes turn to Jack.)
Bunny: Is it true, what they say? That you and Elsa used to—
Jack: No!
North: Are you sure?
Jack: Yes! We were never together, never dated, never even looked at each other that way! Really, just cuz we both have ice powers…people think we're soul mates or something…
(Jack continues to rant. Cassie turns to face the camera crew, who are snickering at Jack.)
Cassie: Let's take a break.
(The moon shines down into North's workshop.)
North: Man in Moon! Perhaps he can give answers. What do you say, Manny? How can we deal with the Snow Queen?
(Something appears in the pool of moonlight. It isn't an image of The Man in the Moon, but a pair of hands. The hands start making shadow pictures—a coyote, a swan, a bad imitation of a turkey.)
Cassie: Manny? What are you doing?
Director: (offstage) Quiet! (Presses a finger to his earpiece) What? Well, get him out of there. (Lowers hand and addresses Cassie) That's not Manny. Apparently your brother Vega got ahold of the moon spotlight.
Cassie: (Slapping a hand to her forehead) That makes so much sense.
North: (Calls to two yetis) Boris! Frank! Fetch my astrological charts.
(The two yetis hurry to obey.)
Tooth: North, the line is astronomical charts.
North: What? Oh! My mistake. (Cups a hand around his mouth) Boris! Frank! You don't need to…oh.
(The yetis have returned with a large, detailed chart of star signs, with a pile of horoscopes stacked on top of it.)
Bunny: You're into astrology?
North: (Grins) I am a Sagittarius.
(Tooth is hovering next to Cassie in a corridor of North's workshop.)
Tooth: I have to go; but Jack's still in the main room. I think he's waiting for you. I'll see you tomorrow!
(She opens the window and tries to fly out; but the opening isn't wide enough. She runs into the windowpane and falls backwards)
Cassie: (Hops out of her seat) Oh my god! Are you ok?
Tooth: (Sits up and rubs the back of her head) Owww…
Female crew member: Can we get medical assistance over here?
Tooth: No, no, I'm ok. I just need a minute.
(At North's workshop, doing magical research.)
North Those books are all about spirits. Stories, descriptions, questions…we may be able to find some useful things.
Cassie: I'm supposed to get through all of that?
Jack: You're not the only one. I've got just as much over here. North, you better not be leaving us to slave away while you play with toys.
Cassie: You know he won't do that, Jack. Let's just get to work.
(Cassie sits down at her desk, and grabs a book from one of her stacks. Her nose wrinkles as she looks at the cover.)
Cassie: Who put Twilight in here?
(In North's workshop.)
(Cassie's phone rings. All of the Guardians flinch, but Bunny's reaction is not faked. He reflexively jumps backwards, going a dozen feet into the air, and then falls on top of one of the yetis in the background.)
Cassie: (Doubled over laughing) H-hey Bunny, what are you doing? Falling on a yeti is my trick.
Bunny: (Standing up) Ah, cork it, water lady.
Cassie: (Snorts) Really? Is that my nickname now? (Looks at the yeti who Bunny landed on) Are you all right, Gerta?
(Gerta makes a groaning noise, and glares at Bunny.)
(In Jerry's hospital room.)
Cassie: (holding Jerry's hand) Come on. Come on, Jerry Crosley, wake up!
(Jerry's hand twitches, and he puffs out a breath.)
Cassie: It's a new day, Jerry. And people who love you are here to greet it with you.
(Jerry's face starts to contort. Cassie reaches over and shakes a sleeping Emma's shoulder.)
Cassie: Emma! Emma!
Emma: (Waking with a start) Cassie? What's…
(The two women watch as Jerry's face clenches, and his eyes open.)
Emma: (Leaning forward) Jer?
(Jerry looks at his bed he was in, at the IV in his arm, and then at Emma. He gives her a serious look.)
Jerry: (Loudly) Good morning, starshine. The earth says hello!
(Emma, Cassie and the crew burst out laughing.)
(Cassie's apartment. Jack is asleep on the couch. Cassie shakes Jack's shoulder, trying to wake him. When that doesn't work, she starts tickling him.)
Jack: Ngh…cut that out!
(He rolls away; but Cassie forgets to move when Jack is supposed to fall off the couch. He smacks into her and takes her down with him. They lie in a heap on the floor, laughing.)
Cassie: Emma! Emma!
Emma: (Waking with a start) Cassie? What's…
(The two women watch as Jerry's face clenches, and his eyes open.)
Emma: (Leaning forward) Jer?
(Jerry looks at his bed he was in, at the IV in his arm, and then at Emma. His face splits in a grin.)
Jerry: (Singing) Good morning, good mooorning! It's great to stay up late. Good morning, good morning to youuu! (Sits up and spreads his arms)
(Everyone roars with laughter, and Jerry joins in. In the background, some of the crew members start singing the next part of the song)
Emma: (Wiping tears of laughter from her eyes) Ah, Jer, you're going to give one of us a heart attack.
(Jerry is home from the hospital, sitting in his own bed. He grumbles as Cassie fusses over him.)
Cassie: You're lucky Emma and I aren't constantly pulling the "I told you so" card on you.
(Emma appears in the doorway, carrying a tray of food.)
Emma: Speak for yourself. After the scare he gave us, I'm not letting him forget anytime soon that we were—whoa!
(She trips over a corner of the rug and flails to get her balance back. The food on the tray goes flying in the process. Cassie and Jerry duck and cover, as they are showered with roasted chicken and vegetables.)
Jerry: (Uncovers his head) This is not what doctors mean when they tell you to change your diet.
Cassie: (Brushing food off her shirt) Some people go on diets. Is this the diet going on us?
(Emma and Jerry chuckle.)
(Cassie and Jack are decorating Cassie's apartment for Christmas. Jack discovers a leftover spray can of fake snow. Cassie takes the can away from him.)
Cassie: You can make real snow; what do you need the fake stuff for?
Jack: (smirking) I can work with either kind.
Cassie: Not today, you can't.
(Cassie points the can at Jack and presses the nozzle.)
(BLLEEEEEERGH!)
(Jack jumps a solid foot in the air, while Cassie yelps and nearly drops what is suddenly not a can of snow, but an air horn.)
Cassie: (Staring at the air horn) What the…(turns to face the camera, and scowls). I can see you two back there.
(Camera switches to Naomi and Yuki, who are standing with the crew. They are leaning on each other for support, in silent spasms of laughter.)
(Christmas at the North Pole.)
(Cassie and the Guardians are about to eat the Christmas feast, plates already loaded with food. They dig in, but then gag and spit out their food. North peers at his plate.)
North: (Scowling) Who put salt all over my Christmas feast?
(All eyes turn to Jack.)
Jack: Why do you automatically think it's me?
Bunny: It's always you, mate.
Jack: You're just biased, Bunny.
Cassie: You also haven't spit out any food, Jack. I wonder if your food is a bit more edible than yours.
(Cassie reaches across the table and snatches a piece of turkey off of Jack's plate. She pops it into her mouth, chews, and swallows it without trouble.)
Cassie: Yep. Perfectly seasoned.
North: (Glaring) You are back on Naughty list for this, Jack.
Jack: (Shrugs) It was worth it anyway.
(Cassie and Jack exchanging Christmas gifts.)
Jack: (Gawking at the painting of him) How did you come up with this?
Cassie: I just paint what I see; and not all my observations can fit into real life images. (Bites her lip) Is it really that strange?
Jack: What? No, it's amazing! I can't believe you made something like this for me. I'll just have to figure out a place to keep it.
Cassie: I thought about that. Watch this.
(She taps a black spot on the side of the painting. The painting jolts out of Jack's hands. Jack and Cassie dive out of the way as the painting swells to the size of a small elephant.)
North: (Running onstage) Cassie, do not use the spell on the painting! It's…(he sees the enlarged painting)
Cassie: (From the floor) A little late, North.
(The battle at the Snow Queen's palace.)
Cassie: (Grabbing Jack's arm) Jack, wait! We have to get Yuki out of the way.
(She points at the immobile Yuki.)
Jack: That's Yuki? How did you—
Cassie: She remembered me when she saw me; and she tried to help me escape. We need to get her out of the line of fire.
(Jack and Cassie run over to Yuki. Cassie tries to sling Yuki over her shoulder, but slips and falls on the icy floor. Yuki "unfreezes" to laugh and help Cassie up.)
(Snow Queen's palace, after Cassie's transformation.)
(Snow Queen Fenella emerges from a hole in the wall. Her hair and clothing are in disarray, and an ugly snarl is on her face. She takes her last step through the hole, and then halts very suddenly, looking back in surprise. The train of her dress is caught on an icicle. She awkwardly tries to pull it free, but breaks character in the process.)
Fenella: Ok. I'm stuck. A little assistance, please?
(Two crew members hurry on camera. With some hard tugging and bunching of the fabric, they manage to pull the dress train free.)
Fenella: The Snow Queen, thwarted by an icicle. What irony.
(The cast and crew chuckle.)
(Face-off between the Snow Queen and moon spirit Cassie.)
(Cassie directs magic into her right hand, forming it into a dagger. Around her people start to laugh, and she looks around, confused.)
Cassie: What?
Jack: (Grinning) Take a look at what you're holding, Cass.
(Cassie obeys, and finds that she has conjured not a dagger, but a butter knife. She groans, and then chuckles.)
Cassie: (Pointing the butter knife at the Snow Queen) Fear my mighty weapon!
(Cast and crew laugh harder.)
(Cassie's return.)
North: This friend must be very powerful, if they can afford to give you so much magic.
Yuki: (Smiling) She is.
Jack: She?
Yuki: I'm not the only reason I called you all here.
(She turns towards the throne. Nothing happens for a few seconds, and she rolls her eyes.)
Yuki: Oh, come on, that was the perfect cue. Just get out here already!
Cassie: (Playfully) Yes, Your Majesty.
(Cassie drops from the ceiling in water spirit form. Jack catches her in his arms, and Cassie takes the opportunity to kiss him soundly. When she ends the kiss, Jack is grinning.)
Jack: I like this version of her entrance. (Looks past the camera) Can we use it? And do a dozen more takes of it?
(Cassie giggles.)
(Backstage. Bunny and Naomi are seated on folding chairs, Naomi reading a book and Bunny munching on a carrot. Cassie enters with a large saltshaker and a bottle of water.)
Cassie: Have either of you seen Jack?
Bunny: (Pointing to a door on the other end of the room) He's passed out in the lounge.
Cassie: (Grins) Thanks. So I just sprinkle the powder around and dump water on top?
Bunny: Yep.
Cassie: Ok. You have the camera ready?
Bunny: (Pulls a high-tech camera out from under his chair) Of course. I been looking forward to this for weeks.
Cassie: (Sniggers) Me too. Wish me luck.
(She walks to the lounge door and slips inside.)
Naomi: What's going on?
Bunny: (Smirking) You'll see.
(A minute passes. Then there is a bloodcurdling scream from the lounge. Cassie comes sprinting out, followed by an irate Jack. His head is covered in bright orange dye, with a few tufts of white sticking out here and there. His eyebrows are also orange, and excess dye drips down the sides of his face.)
Jack: CASSIE!
(He chases Cassie around the room, cursing. Cassie evades him, running back and forth across the room and dodging behind Naomi and Bunny's chairs. Bunny furiously snaps pictures with the camera, and Naomi roars with laughter.)
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To any Jelsa shippers: I have no problem with Jelsa! It was just too good to pass up.
Hope you enjoyed these bloopers! Keep an eye out for further stories!
