Harry Potter: And the Mothers Sacrifice

Disclaimer: I am not J.K.Rowling, I don't own or work at Bloomsbury, and as such I hold no rights over the Harry Potter stories short of the fact I own a splendid set of Harry Potter books that I enjoy reading. What I do own is a idea that I am allowing you the reader to read, I am not receiving any money or rewards from this, what I hope to gain though is a peace of mind that my idea is out of my head and somewhere it will only annoy me if I want it to, and hopefully reviews from you the reader.

Warning: The end of this chapter gets very angsty

Chapter 4: Realizations and Morning

"Lumos" she tried the spell again, more firmly this time but still nothing happened. "Lumos, lumos, LUMOS," Shouting the spell in frustration on the last try produced a slightly different affect than the last four attempts, but disturbing Harry's nap, and having him glare up at her, in which she thought was a cute pout, wasn't the desired effect she has wanted.

Nothing came out of her wand, not even a small spark of light appeared. As a last act of desperate hope she pointed her wand towards her hair brush, laying on the vanity desk, swished and flicked her wand and clearly said "Wingardium Leviosa."

It was a deep blow to see the brush lay still, charms had always been her best subject, and she had been able to perform that spell perfectly the first time she had cast it, earning her house 10 points. And she couldn't even make the brush roll over like it did with some first year students who found it difficult to control their magic.

And that's when she realized that was what felt wrong, she couldn't feel her magic any more. Had Voldemort done something to her so she couldn't reach her magic? It would make sense as to why she hadn't been able to get out of his petrify curse. But how long would she be unable to access her magic? How and when did Voldemort place this curse on her? And would she have to do anything to remove the curse?

She would have to wait to talk to Dumbledore to find out she decided. So with that thought she promptly picked her brush up manually, placed it and her wand in her bag of clothing, picked up hers and Harry's bags (very awkwardly seeing as she also had to carry a still glaring baby) and started to make her way downstairs.

She was half way down her stairs, which felt rather unstable, when she remembered what she was going to see when she got into her hallway. She looked down to her son's face which had a small frown upon it, almost as if he new something he wouldn't like was about to occur.

Taking a deep breath trying to compose herself for what was to come, she looked towards the bottom of the stairs and continued to walk down.

When she got to the bottom she turned towards the sound of gasping sobs, with Hagrid closest to her view of Sirius and James was blocked, but something deep inside her made her move forward, almost as if in a trance, with Harry securely nested under her left arm and a bag of clothing in each hand she slowly made her way past Hagrid who had tears streaming down his face, and looked down onto her husbands peaceful face. It looked almost as if he was sleeping, but when James slept he's nostrils would flair with each precious breath he took.

"Sirius? Didn't you say his eyes were open?" It was a strange thing to ask but hadn't Sirius said James's eyes had been open when he found him?

"I closed them before I went to cheek on you, I couldn't stand seeing that vacant stare on his face" he took in a deep breath to steady himself before he continued " James always had a gleam in his eyes, something more, and it wasn't there when I found him." And Sirius broke down crying again holding James's hand howling his grief out loud.

"'addy, 'addy," Harry was struggling in her arm to get out, she wasn't entirely sure if he want James or if he wanted his Uncle Paddy, as Harry had found he could get the attention of both with the same name, but one thing was for sure Sirius was in no position to safely hold Harry, and she wasn't sure how she felt about Harry crawling all over James at the moment, as he sometimes did when trying to wake James in the morning.

Hagrid started to sob loudly, crying out "poor lil' 'ing, poor Harry, Merlin bless his wee lil' heart" then pulled a dirty looking handkerchief out of a pocket to blow his nose loudly, and continue crying.

"Mummy," Harry had started to pull at her shirt to get her attention, "mummy, Harry wan' 'addy," and she watched as he pointed to James when he said that. Feeling her heart break at their loss she felt herself let go of the bags she had been holding drop down onto her knees and took a hold of James clammy pale hand, and pull it up so Harry to could hold it.

And with that Harry to started crying again, it amazed Lily how astute and perceptive her son was.

And so for some time that's how their little group was James the center of it all laying there as Sirius cried over the loss of his best friend and brother, Hagrid standing near James's feet crying loudly into his handkerchief, Harry holding his fathers hand with his chubby little hands, and Lily hugging Harry rubbing his back for comfort with one hand, and holding his and James's hand in her other. All the while wondering why she didn't feel like crying for the loss of her husband.

AN

Thank you to all that reviwed last chapter, for those of you who guessed Lilys problem yes you have it right, although it isnt as straight forward as it apears to be. Sorry that I didnt update for the last few days but Iv had work, for future reference I will most likely update Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and some times Sunday, if I have homework though it will come first, I did warn everyone in the first chapter that Im a tad flaky about these things, Im more writing this story so hopefully others will steal my idea and then I can hopefully read a better version (I will continue writing my story if that happens dont worrie) I will try to update again today next chapter Im hoping to get to Hogwarts, but who knows Im postting chapters as I write them so you get them as fast as I can write them.