Vulnerable
Part ONE
"Oww - oww!"
"Oh my god Naminé are you okay?"
"I - ah, shit!"
I drop the pencil in my hand and gingerly caress my right arm, trying to massage away the pain. This goddamn sudden pain is making me squirm and squeal and whine like a helpless child. What the hell?
"Naminé? Naminé, what happened?"
"I'm - I'm fine, Kairi," I reassure, raising my free hand to hold her back. Trying to swallow another pitiful whimper, I bite down on the bottom of my lip, just enough to barely draw blood. Oh god, please, this pain just needs to go away…
"Uh, should I get you anything? Water, some towels, or...or a teacher! I'll go get a teacher! Right, Naminé, wait right here!"
"No, wait, Kai - !"
Before I can stop her, she's dashing out of the room like it's caught fire.
I sigh to myself, trying to manage the pain mentally. Mind over matter, right? Just imagine all the pain gathering in one point, and boxing it up to store away. And then breath in, breath out - repeat, breath in, breath out…
Goddammit this technically isn't even my pain, why is it so bad?
"Ms. Lockhart, she's here!"
I hear Kairi's voice before she comes back in the room with the art teacher in tow. Ms. Lockhart looks rather concerned with the situation. Thankfully, most of the pain has subsided, so I can talk like a normal human being now.
"I'm fine," I quickly repeat my previous words. "Kairi, you didn't have to bother Ms. Lockhart."
"I'm here for you guys - you wouldn't 'bother' me. What's wrong, Naminé?"
I look from Kairi's wide eyes, shimmering with concern, to Ms. Lockhart's curious expression. So I draw a deep breath wondering how to phrase things.
"I - uh, I think it's that person."
"Who?" Ms. Lockhart prompts.
"Oh, it's him?" Kairi exclaims, voice perking up. "Why didn't you say so, Naminé?"
"Well, I was gonna when you ran out on me."
"Who's him?" Ms. Lockhart repeats.
I'm about to explain when Kairi beats me to the chase. "You know, the one!" she exclaims. Seeing Ms. Lockhart's furrowed brows, she continues to elaborate. "It's Naminé's person! You know. Her soulmate!"
I cringe at the word 'soulmate.' It's so...cheesy. "Who says they're my soulmate?" I protest.
Ms. Lockhart chuckles. "Oh, Naminé, I didn't realize you're already sharing someone's pain!"
"It sucks," I groan, though my forearm feels better now. There's just a dull sensation occasionally stirring up in my nerves, nothing I can't handle. Considering how some of the pain seizures go, this is totally manageable.
"Do you know who it is?" Ms. Lockhart asks.
"No, and they should be damn grateful for that fact," I growl. But since she brought it up, I'm not gonna pass on an opportunity to rant about it. "Ms. Lockhart, do you know how many pain seizures I've had just in this month? Sixteen! Of course, some were just scrapes and bumps, but I'm pretty sure this one time, they actually broke their leg! Do you know how painful it was?"
Thinking about all the injuries I've 'suffered' this past month gets me worked up, cause I don't deserve any of this. I've always been a safe person, and I take care of myself very well. I almost never get sick, and I've never broken a bone. But now, I'm suffering these ghost injuries left and right, and what am I supposed to do? Just suffer silently?
"Well, when'd it start?" Ms. Lockhart asks.
"At the beginning of summer!" Kairi chirps. "We were shopping at the mall when she suddenly fell to the ground! I mean, she couldn't even walk! I had to drag her to the car!"
Way to tell our teacher one of my most embarrassing life stories, Kairi. I swear, I probably looked like I was throwing a tantrum like a five-year-old kid. I doubt I'll ever live down that moment.
"I swear, that person must be a klutz or something," I grumble. "Just in this past month, I've gotten hurt more times than I've been injured in my whole life."
Ms. Lockhart chuckles lightheartedly. "I'm surprised you're starting so early! I mean I guess it's not unheard of, but I remember reading somewhere that the average age you start sharing pain with someone is in your twenties."
"You just started last year, right? After Mr. Strife jammed his fingers in the staff room door?" Kairi smiles sweetly. "You two are so cute!"
Ms. Lockhart laughs awkwardly. "Yeah, how did you…?"
"Don't ask," I chime in. "She knows everything." I pause for a moment. "But you've known Mr. Strife for a long time, right? How did you all of a sudden start feeling his pain?"
Ms. Lockhart shrugs. "Nothing changed from my point-of-view. I mean, no one really knows how this pain-sharing thing works anyways."
"When's the wedding, Ms. Lockhart?" Kairi teases with a sly grin.
Ms. Lockhart smirks in return. "It's just a rumor that the person who shares your pain is your soulmate. If you look at Cloud and I - I mean, Mr. Strife and I are still just friends."
"But I know so many people who share each other's pain that got together!" Kairi exclaims.
"Well, I think it's definitely something that can bring people together," Ms. Lockhart reasons. "In a way, it's an another layer of understanding between two people. But it's a little hasty to say that that person is your one and only. Maybe...they're special to you in some way, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're your partner for life."
I have to give Ms. Lockhart some props here - partially because I really hope my dumbass 'soulmate' on the other end of this pain-sharing link isn't actually the person I have to spend the rest of my life with. All I'd get is a life of pain. Literally.
"But it's sooooo romantic!" Kairi swoons. "I'm so jealous, Naminé - I wish I could feel my soulmate's pain too!"
I snort. "Yeah, you say that now, but wait till you actually have to endure it. Every single time. What the hell, are they getting into fights everyday?"
"Maybe he's a football player?" Kairi suggests. "Oh my gosh, Naminé, what if it's Tidus?"
"That guy knows very well how to protect himself when the players all jump on him." I roll my eyes. Like I want to be associated with our school's linebacker. "Have you ever seen him with more than a few scrapes and bruises?"
"Good point...oh, oh, what if he's in a gang?"
"Which is not a good thing, Kairi."
"I know, I know!"
"Then why do you sound so excited?"
"Anyways, girls," Ms. Lockhart interrupts, "I'm glad to hear you're okay, Naminé. If you ever need help managing the pain, I can give you a few pointers. But since you don't know who it is, it's mostly just how to live with it."
I sigh, having resigned myself to this fate months ago. "Thanks, Ms. Lockhart, I'll take you up on that sometime."
"Alright, girls, I trust you to lock up after you're done. I have to meet another student now, so I'll see you two tomorrow!"
"Yeah, you can count on us!" Kairi says confidently. "Bye Ms. Lockhart!"
"Bye," I parrot, waving as Ms. Lockhart leaves the room.
"What're you doing?" Kairi asks once it's just us.
Using just my left hand, I start cleaning up my workspace. "Well, I can't use paint anymore cause of that dumbass, so I'm gonna go home. You ready to go?"
"Oh, yeah! But isn't this due at the end of the week?"
"Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. C'mon, I'm starving - let's get something to eat." Putting away all my art supplies, I store my unfinished piece away for safekeeping till another day. I turn towards my chair, reaching for my bag when I notice it's not where I left it. Looking up, I realize Kairi's already got my backpack over her shoulder. Smiling like a child who has just won hide and seek, she beckons for me to follow her out the door.
Even with the numbing pain in my arm, I can't resist a dumb smile.
That dumb smile gets me through the otherwise painful week.
The next day, halfway through class, a piercing sensation breaks out in the same area on my forearm, making me actually yelp aloud in the middle of a presentation. After composing a lame excuse about a spider and getting scolded by the teacher, I manage to rein in the discomfort for the remainder of class.
What the hell are they doing on the other end, deliberately poking at it?
When the bell rings, I dash out and head towards the bathroom, running cold water down my arm. It doesn't really work, but it's the only thing I can think of doing. People passing by must think I have a problem or something, just scrubbing at my arm like a hypochondriac.
"...Naminé?"
"Huh? Oh, uh, hey Kairi," I stammer, turning towards her as she enters the bathroom. "Oh, sorry I forgot to text you. I just - ahh..."
There's another split second of pain, but I swallow it with a wince and quickly summon a smile. Judging by Kairi's expression, there's no point in lying to her now.
"It's, uhh...them," I say lamely, getting pretty annoyed with this explanation myself. It's not right that someone unrelated to me gets to screw with my life like this.
"...oh!" Kairi's eyes widen slightly. "Again? Seriously, what is he doing on his end?"
I appreciate the contrast in her attitude from yesterday - because there's nothing romantic about being in pain. "Ahh, it's a little better...sorry, let's go grab something to eat before lunch period ends."
The prospect of food cheers up the both of us. Not that I have high standards for our cafeteria food, but the weather's growing cold really fast and there's nothing that warms you up like a hot meal.
Unfortunately, the line's as long as ever, so we're unhappily stuck waiting for awhile. Just as Kairi and I are discussing whether we should venture off-campus to eat, a voice calls out Kairi's name. Naturally, I turn towards the source as well.
A bright 'oh!' escapes Kairi's lips, while my eyes narrow suspiciously. I don't recognize the brown-haired boy headed towards us with a wide smile on his face - and I thought I knew all of Kairi's friends. Our high school isn't that big, and a lot of us have been stuck together since junior high, so this stranger acting all friendly with Kairi is making me uncomfortable.
"...totally forgot you told me, I'm so sorry Sora!"
"Nah that's okay, I know the start of school's like crazy for everyone. I'm just glad I finally get to see you!"
I clear my throat expectantly, but the two seem very absorbed in their conversation. A tug on Kairi's sleeve finally gets her attention, and I settle with a very practical, "The line's moving forward."
"Oh my gosh, let me introduce you guys! Sora, this is my best friend Naminé! Naminé, this is Sora. He just transferred here from Destiny Islands!"
Sora beams, revealing his pearly whites. Must've taken years of braces - no way he was born like that. He then sticks out a hand. "Nice to meet you, Naminé!"
Why so formal? Of course, I choose to not voice that thought. I stare for awhile at the wrist brace he's wearing - for what I wonder? Carpel tunnel? Maybe he's a hardcore gamer. Realizing I'm just staring at his extended hand, I reach out with mine and shake his. Looking up at him, I catch something flash across his face so quickly that I barely even register it. A flicker of discomfort in my right arm provides further distraction from analyzing that microexpression. At least there's no full-blown misplaced cry of pain this time.
He releases my hand, which I let fall back to my side. "So you know Sora from elementary school?" I ask Kairi.
"Yup!"
"Well actually," Sora interrupts, "we've known each other since we were like five."
"Oh yeah, that's what I meant! I still remember in elementary school when I - "
" - fell from the monkey bars - !"
" - just laughed at my bloody nose! I mean…"
I'm a little put off by how engrossed they are in their conversation, leaving me awkwardly dawdling by the side. I'll let Kairi off the hook since she's not the most observant person, but can this Sora figure from her distant past stop hogging up her time? I haven't talked to her for the whole day! Lunch is supposed to be our chance to catch up!
And they have the most random tangents, like they'll be talking about that time Sora scraped his knee real bad when he was young and then they'll jump to how many bandaids he's used in the past week. I'm almost a little jealous at how easily they digress from reminiscing and then jump right back in. Their friendship has a cadence that's probably the direct product of time, something Kairi and I can't emulate.
"...totally accident-prone, Mom always complains about the hospital bills I rack up."
"Oh god, I still remember that time you called me and said you were in the hospital, but you left out the details so I told my mom, 'Sora's dying we need to go to the hospital!' So we probably speeded all the way through downtown and then we found out you just sprained your ankle!"
Sora cackles - he has a funny laugh.
"Oh right, my mom was so pissed at me, but your mom kept saying it was your fault for exaggerating."
"God, I was actually on the verge of tears! All because of you!"
Kairi pouts at an equally smiley Sora. So she feigns an angry expression, grabbing Sora's arm and pushing it aside.
"Ack!"
"Oww."
I pause, wondering why someone's mimicking my voice. A moment later, my mind realizes that I had echoed Sora, my painful exclamation coming milliseconds after his.
"Hey, you okay?" Kairi asks concernedly, hand hovering over Sora's right arm.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, I actually tripped on the sidewalk yesterday. Thankfully I got away with just a few scrapes and a sprained wrist." He raises his hand with the brace, grinning while showing off his injury.
Yesterday. Arm injury.
Oh shit.
"Wait...Naminé, are you okay?" Kairi asks, turning towards me. "I heard you cry out too, what happened?"
I open my mouth to say something but no words come out. How am I supposed to convey this epiphany to Kairi?
"I - I - "
My eyes drift towards Sora, and there's a bottomless pit of words I want to say to him. "You!"
"Me?" he repeats, pointing at himself.
"Yeah, you! What the hell is your problem?" Before I can think through my actions, I raise a hand and bring it down on his forearm to shove away such an exaggerated response. He of course yelps on cue, and what can I do but mimic his actions?
"Ahh! Hey, I said, I'm injured - "
"Oww!" I exclaim, drawing back my hand and curling it towards my chest.
"Oh...oh!" Kairi exclaims. She looks from Sora to me and then back to Sora.
"What's going on?" Sora asks, thoroughly confused.
"Wait, Sora…" Kairi breathes, "are you Naminé's soulmate?"
A/N: Derp what am I doing? (That's like all I ask myself nowadays.)
Got some inspiration while browsing tumblr, cause apparently soulmate!AUs are a thing. I'm actually a little iffy on the whole premise, which hopefully I've conveyed somewhat realistically through Naminé's narration.
This'll be a short series, so look out for the next installment!
