Part THREE

Clutching the toilet bowl, I lean forward and puke.

"N - Naminé?" Sora stammers. "Are you okay? Was that...did you just throw up?"

His concerns are pretty low on my list of priorities now. Lifting my head, I close my eyes and inhale through my nose. I can almost hear Dr. Farrell's voice in my head: don't hold back, but when you're ready, remember that you can be in control of your own body.

I'm in control. I'm in control.

"Naminé? Naminé!"

My eyelids fly open, and the rising feeling in the back of my throat barely gives me enough time to reach the toilet bowl.

"Oh my god, what's going on? This isn't supposed to happen during your period, right? Is it food poisoning? Last time my brother had some bad sushi and he could only have porridge for three days - "

"Sora," I say (in a pretty polite tone, given the situation), "shut up."

He quickly falls quiet, but I realize his silence is actually even more unnerving. The back of my throat tightens again, but I'm all out of stomach content to throw up. Instead, I just gag over the toilet bowl.

"...I'll go get someone!" Sora exclaims, which instantly raises red flags in my mind. I quickly rise to my feet and flush away the vomit. Stepping out of the stall, I stare Sora down.

"Don't. Move," I command with a stern glare. He freezes in place as I walk around him to wash my hands. After splashing some cold water on my face, I look up at my reflection. Let's just say it isn't a pretty sight. Well, at least I think that's all the puking for now...

When I turn around, I'm surprised to see Sora still rooted in the exact same spot. Giving him a look, I mumble, "You can move now."

"...oh, okay," he exhales, sighing in relief. He seems to have taken my instructions a bit too seriously. Instantly the concern is back. "What happened? Are you okay? Is it the stomach flu or something? Naminé what is going on are you dying - "

"Slow down," I say, raising a hand to cut him off. "And - did you just say I'm dying?"

"I don't know what's going on, you need to tell me!"

He tends to exaggerate, but I'd never thought Sora's the overdramatic type.

"I'm fine," I say curtly. Sora's inquisitive stare suggests a simple dismissal won't chase him off. I sigh, trying to figure out the best way to explain my condition.

"Oh, wait!" he exclaims. Shooting him a curious look, I watch as he reaches into his backpack and retrieves his water bottle. Next thing I know, he's holding it out to me. I look at him with a confused expression. "For you to drink!" he explains. "Cause you need to drink water after you throw up, right?"

"...right," I concede, taking the bottle from him. "Thanks." I take a small sip. Sora waits patiently until I recap the bottle and return it to him. "Uh, I'm fine," I reassure him again when his brows remain furrowed.

"You just threw up, Naminé - how can you be fine? Why are you acting so calm after throwing up? Does this happen a lot?"

I snort - Kairi said the same things when I first explained things to her. I've been slowly forming this opinion over time, but this just solidifies my belief that the two of them are really similar.

The chuckle probably threw Sora off, cause now he's crossing his arms too. "Look," I begin, "believe me, I'm fine. Physically." He keeps looking at me, like he's waiting for me to continue. I draw a deep breath and sigh. It's probably best to explain things to him so he doesn't freak out when it happens again.

"I was a little anxious." I shrug. "That's all."

"...that's all?" Sora repeats. "You're the only person I know who throws up when they get anxious!"

"Okay, you don't have to shout!" I return, getting defensive that he's raising his voice. Why does it sound like he's mad at me? "Really, that's it! My counselor says it's generalized anxiety disorder."

"You have GAD?" Sora exclaims. I'm kinda surprised he seems to know something about it.

"Yeah. So it's just a symptom of my GAD. Sorta annoying I guess." I shrug. "It's just something I have to deal with occasionally."

"Well...should I call Kairi?"

"No, don't distract her," I snap. "She's probably at her game already - and she really wants to win this time. It's her last year on JV volleyball."

"I know...so, wait, you're just not gonna tell her?"

"No, I - I will. Probably." Usually, it depends on how bad I feel and how busy we both are. Sometimes, it's just easier to wait it out by myself. Plus, Kairi becomes a real mamma bear over my condition. But telling her always does help me feel better.

I look up at Sora and notice he's looking back. Holding his stare, I wait for him to break the silence.

"...well, what made you anxious this time?" he asks.

I cross my arms, leveling a glare at him. "Why are you asking?"

"C'mon, don't forget I'm on the other end of this pain bond thing. A heads up would be nice."

Okay, that's a fair point. Totally forgot Sora has to feel his throat burn and eyes swell every time with me. I draw a breath, trying to figure out how to explain things as concisely as possible.

"So...I have a sister. Her name's Xion."

"Xion...okay, your sister. Go on."

I hesitate for a moment, still unsure if I should tell him everything. I've only ever told Kairi about the situation, and I've known Sora for...a few months? This is all a little too quick, too sudden.

But Sora's still waiting, watching with those big blue eyes, and I don't know if it's because of the weather, or the way he looks at me, or how he reminds me so much of Kairi, that words start falling off my tongue.

"She's sick. Like really sick. She's always been kinda weak, but then things got really bad. Mom took her to the hospital, but they had to transfer her to the bigger one in Twilight Town to see the specialist there. She's in the hospital like 90% of the time, and the doctors can't figure out what exactly is wrong. And she - " I inhale sharply, the thought making me nauseous again, but I manage to keep it down with a few deep breaths. After steadying myself, I continue. "She...worries me. So I throw up."

Sora nods slowly, but his face looks like he still doesn't really understand. "So...you're anxious about your sister?"

"Yeah."

"So whenever you think about her, you throw up?"

"It's not like that. Cause then I'd be throwing up all the time. It's just...sometimes she isn't doing so well. Mom thinks she's being sneaky but I know that's what she means when she asks when can I visit the hospital. So I get super paranoid wondering what's wrong, and sorta throw up till I get to see her." I gulp, deciding to take some initiative at this point. "So yeah, sorry in advance. Might be a couple more spells of this for a week or two."

"...God, Naminé, that's not - I - " Sora sighs frustratedly, though I'm not sure why. Shouldn't I be the one flustered by the situation?

"...I'm sorry," he finally mumbles.

Sensing a familiar tone in his voice, I straighten my back and clear my throat. "We don't need your pity or anything. I mean, sure it's tough, but it's not like Xion has cancer or some fatal disease. The doctors can't fix things yet, but they're getting there. They've done a pretty good job for the past 10 years."

"...right. It's still hard." He summons a sympathetic smile. "Not just for Xion, but you too. You have to deal with that and your anxiety."

I snort. "Oh, you think it's hard for me? I get to go to school, hang out with my friends, and run around under the sun. Life's not hard for me."

"Life's not easy either." He grimaces. "Sorry, I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

"...it's okay."

Suddenly, I'm reeling from the situation and grow extremely self-conscious. How'd we end up telling sob stories in the girl's bathroom? How did an anxiety attack lead me to share so much with someone who was still a stranger a few months ago? How did I end up leaving myself so vulnerable in front of someone?

"So, what are you doing now?" Sora asks.

Still considering the ramifications of my actions, I blank out at his question. "Huh?"

"Are you going home?" he asks.

"...yeah. Yeah, probably. I wanna take a shower."

"Okay. You'll be okay on the bus?"

"Yeah...probably, I dunno. I mean, I can't really control it."

"Right, right. Hmm." I'm not sure what he's thinking about, but it probably doesn't have to do with me, right?

"I have some more water bottles in my locker. Want one?" he offers.

"Huh? Oh, uh...yeah. That'd help, probably. Thanks."

"No problem. Let's go then."

Quietly, I follow Sora out of the bathroom. I'm not sure what to say at this point, and as more time passes, the silence just grows even more stifling.

"Here," he says, "oh, and take this too. You should replenish electrolytes and all that, right?" He hands me bottled water and a sports drink, which I awkwardly juggle and fit into my bag.

Somewhere between walking to the lockers and taking a sip of the sports drink, I finally start to feel some relief. I think I'm sorta just past the point of trying to figure out if telling Sora was the right thing to do. He knows now, and it feels nice that there's one less barrier between us. I can roll with whatever happens next. The fact that things ended up this way...maybe it was just meant to be.

"Thanks, Sora." I smile as I realize how helpful he's being. "Do I wanna know why you know how to take care of people after they puke?"

"Nope," he says, popping his 'p' and smirking.

That makes me chuckle a little. Nonetheless, I notice Sora quickly returns to a worried expression. So I reach over and pat him on the shoulder, which seems to shock him a little.

"C'mon!" I chirp. "Loosen up. You're gonna have to get used to all this vomiting."

Sora manages a nervous grin. "Just mentally preparing myself for when it happens again." He pauses, like he's afraid he's crossed a line or something, but hey I don't mind. I really don't.

Even I'm kinda surprised that I've accepted things so quickly.

"I don't know what you're expecting - a heads up? I can barely make it to the toilet most of the times. And hey, given how accident-prone you are, this is just a taste of your own medicine! Have a shot at feeling what it's like to be me!"

"Hey, you know, you really need to stop exaggerating how often I get hurt. I mean, it's only occasionally - "

"Occasionally? Seriously, next time, I'm gonna record how often you get hurt - occasionally? Occasionally is like, 2, 3 times a month."

"You're in pain at least 5 times a month! And it always starts right on the dot! It's like always the 3rd of the month, which is kinda creepy - is it supposed to be that on time?"

"Stop talking about my period in public!"

We quickly fall back to our usual familiar rhythm, and I'm glad things aren't as awkward as I thought they'd be. Either Sora's just a really good listener, or I'm getting less sensitive about these things.

...neither seems likely, so I'm a little stumped as to how things ended on such a not-low note. But hey, I guess my new philosophy in life is just gonna be to count my blessings and take what I'm given.


The next day at school, a familiar voice calls out to me in the hallway.

"Hey, Naminé!"

I blink, realizing it's Sora. "Hey. What's up? Kairi's not in my class this period."

"I know." He reaches into his bag, which confuses me a little. When he pulls out a water bottle, I accept it awkwardly.

"Stay hydrated!" he exclaims before dashing off in the direction he came from. I blink, mind still stuck on the bottle of water. But the bell rings, and I quickly stuff the bottle in my bag and run to class.


"Here you go."

"Huh?"

I look up from my notebook and notice Kairi, setting a bottle of water on my desk. "From Sora," she explains.

"Oh. Thanks." I awkwardly take the water from her. In a span of 2 days, Sora's given me at least 6 bottles of water. Somewhere along Bottle #4, I figured this is his way of looking out for me. Maybe he feels bad. Either way, every water delivery reminds me to finish the previous bottle soon, so I guess it is helping. I'm also throwing up a lot less this time round - does it have to do with drinking so much water? If I'd known, I could've done that a lot earlier.

"How'd you get Sora to buy water for you?" Kairi asks. "He's like the stingiest person I know."

I laugh. "I have him under my thumb, remember? All I have to do is..." Fake-slapping myself, I chuckle and Kairi laughs along.

"You guys are so weird."

"Not as weird as you."

"You're so mean, Naminé!"

"I know, love you too."


"Hey Kairi, hey Naminé!"

"Hi Sora!" Kairi chirps as the two of us head towards the cafeteria. "Whatcha up to?"

"Nothing much. Here you go, Naminé."

He hands me another water bottle, which I take wordlessly. At this point, I almost expect a bottle of water everytime I bump into him. Honestly, it's like his bag is bottomless.

"What's up with all the water?" Kairi asks, looking at me and Sora weirdly. "Is something going on between you two?"

I chuckle nervously and try to avoid Sora's gaze. I know he's looking at me with a raised brow and expression that reads: you haven't told her yet?

I chuckle and push Kairi towards the cafeteria. "C'mon, Kairi, let's get food before the line grows too long. Thanks, Sora!"

"Sure," he says,watching us go.

"Wait, something's going on, right? Naminé!" Kairi comes to a full stop just outside the cafeteria entrance. "You and Sora keep secrets from me?"

"It's not like that, Kairi." I sigh, not wanting to hurt her feelings. I mean, things just turned out this way…

"Is something wrong?" she asks, her tone adopting a softer tone. "What happened?"

I should've just told her sooner. I don't know why I didn't. Mentally smacking myself for it, I inhale deeply.

"I, uh, started vomiting again."

"What?"

"Yeah, I mean, really, it's not a big deal. I'm fine," I insist, beginning the reassurances before she starts her endless questions. Of course, she still asks.

"Oh my god, Naminé, why didn't you tell me? Are you okay? How are you feeling? Are you sick right now? Do you need anything? Water - oh, so that's what the water's for? Wait, how does Sora know about this?"

"He's stuck with me, remember?" I chuckle a little. "So when I, uh, first threw up earlier this week, he felt it and he was there."

"...oh." Kairi falls silent, which is atypical of her. I was ready for all the fussing and worrying, not this. "I guess...Sora took real good care of you, huh?"

"What? He's just been giving me a lot of water. A sports drink every now and then."

Kairi smiles. "Well, I mean, I didn't even notice you were...going through it again. I feel like such a bad friend…"

"No, no, Kairi! That's not it! I just, things have been better this time round, I've been throwing up a lot less! It's my fault I didn't tell you! I was doing a lot better, you know?"

It's not until this moment after I've said it that I realize I am doing a lot better this time. Usually I throw up at least three times a day, but in the past four days, I've only thrown up twice.

"...that's good," Kairi says, but she still seems a little downcast. "I'm glad you're feeling better this time. But...you should tell me these things in the future, okay? I still feel bad…"

"I'm sorry, Kairi, I should've, but it just - it just slipped my mind. I've only vomited twice this week, and I'm totally fine now, so…" Seeing Kairi sad makes me sad too. "Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm good."

I give her a hug, which she reciprocates quite eagerly. In the end, I'm just glad Kairi's always on my side. That's all I can ask from her, I think.

"So, what's Sora's secret, hmm?" Kairi asks with narrowed eyes. "How's he magically making you feel so much better?"

I laugh, shrugging as well. "Who knows? Maybe he put something in the water."

"Is it a soulmates thing? Maybe, like, he splits the pain with you or something."

"This isn't a superpowers fanfic, Kairi."

"Okay, I know, I'm just kidding! Anyways, you told him about Xion?"

"...yeah. Yeah, I figured it'll probably happen again, so it's best to just tell him. I guess talking to him helped a little. Like when I first told you about it, you also really helped me feel a lot better. Hmm…"

"Maybe that's it," Kairi says. "You told someone about Xion, so you feel better about it."

"I don't think it's that simple," I return. "What does talking to someone have to do with me feeling better?"

"I mean, they understand you, right? It's hard being in pain by yourself, because you have no one to turn to. But when someone understands you and understands your pain, it's like they're your mental support. So you can face the pain knowing they're on your side."

I look at Kairi and try to grasp her larger-than-life statement. All on a Friday afternoon outside our school cafeteria. Of course, only Kairi could do that.

"...or, you're in love with him!" she teases.

Smack.

"Oww!" Kairi complains, hand clutching her head. "Don't hit me!"

"Just helping you look for your soulmate, you know." I smile innocently, looking around curiously. "Hmm, guess they're not around."

"Naminé! You're so...so…!"

I laugh, cause Kairi can't even finish her sentence. "So charming? So considerate? Yes, I know. Don't worry, I'll find your soulmate for you. Now, time to get food," I say, shoving her into the cafeteria.

I spend a lot of time that night thinking about Kairi's words, how maybe it's not because of the water but the fact that Sora was there for me. I even think back to what Ms. Lockhart asked me months ago, about why we share pain with someone.

Maybe it's for you to help someone when they've let their guard down. Maybe it's to see how your pain can be your greatest strength. Maybe it's to show how sharing pain can be a chance to show you care.

Platitudes aside, maybe it comes down to what Kairi said: we just want to know someone understands.


A dull ache spreads throughout my chest, and though it's somewhat bearable, this pain feels a little different.

I quickly figure out it's Sora's pain, but that's not what's bothering me. His usual physical injuries come in more white hot bursts, but this churning sensation isn't what I'm used to sharing with him.

I pull out my phone and dial his number, waiting patiently as I count the number of rings. On a lazy Saturday afternoon, I'm so bored I'm about to hop on the 4-hour tram to visit Xion just for fun.

"...hello?" Sora's groggy voice responds. "Naminé, can I call you back - "

"What's wrong?" I cut to the chase, figuring there's no need for pretenses now.

"...what? You...you feel it too?"

"Yeah, Sora, and it hurts like shit." Clearing my throat, I remind myself to be a little gentler. "Are you okay?"

"...yeah, I - I'm fine, I just - sorry, gimme a sec."

I wait nervously, tapping my finger on the desk in sync with the ticking clock on my wall. Four seconds...twenty seconds...two minutes…

"Hello?" he says, clearing his throat.

"Yeah. What's up?" One hand massages my chest gently, trying to alleviate the ever present pain.

"How...how do you feel it? I'm not actually hurt or anything."

"I don't know. What happened, Sora? It feels like heartbreak or something." Oh, did I hit that nail on the head? I didn't know Sora was seeing anyone.

"No, it's not like that. I just - I just can't stop thinking about it, Naminé."

"About what?"

"About...why'd did that happen to him? What did he do wrong? He doesn't deserve that - no one deserves that...Naminé, it hurts. It really, really hurts. What should I do?"

I can almost taste the desperation in his voice. And though I'm ready to help however I can, I don't know how. I don't even know what he's talking about. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make things worse?

But...what if Sora's by himself right now? Thinking about all the times I've suffered in pain alone...that thought makes me even more worried.

"It's okay, Sora, so you're not physically hurt? Where are you right now? I'll go to you."

I draw a deep breath as the intensity of pain fluctuates, sometimes barely noticeable and sometimes piercing. I can't even begin to imagine what he's going through - but it doesn't matter. I'll share his pain, I'll understand his pain, I'll be on his side. Just like how he was there for me.

"Sorry," Sora apologizes.

"No, don't be. Sora, I've got you."

"I'm scared, Naminé."

"...me too. But hey, you're not alone. I'm on my way."


A/N: And...that's a wrap, folks! I'm a little iffy about the ending, but then I realized it might be because I've only ever written a handful of endings. I feel like there's so much more I wanna say, but I've gotta wrap things up somewhere.

Just wanted to include a disclaimer that this story is purely fictional, and while I did try to do some research on GAD, the diagnosis criteria is really broad itself and vomiting was only occasionally included as a possible symptom. Therefore, please don't take details as facts, and make sure to consult a healthcare professional for more factual information. Also, always remember to reach out if you're suffering from poor mental health. You're never alone!

I don't know if I did a good job explaining this soulmate!AU and depicting the concept of sharing pain in more concrete terms. But let me know if you have any questions or thoughts about this chapter, or the story as a whole, or the concept of soulmates, or anything! I always love hearing what you guys have to say, and let me just say that I have a pretty fleshed out headcanon about this story. If anything doesn't make sense, it's probably because I didn't explain my headcanon really well, so definitely ask any curious questions you have!

I was juggling a few other ideas regarding this concept, but because I have a huge standardized test coming up in a few months, I realized I won't have much time to devote to this. I didn't want to leave you all hanging till April though, so I pumped this chapter out for you all. If I have time, I might come back and explore the idea of soulmates a little more, cause I actually have a lot more in store!

Anyways, sorry for the long wait while I was binging on holiday feasts. Hope everyone is doing well in the new year!

Oh, and here's a thank you for patiently waiting for this chapter!


EXTRA

" - can't believe he'd do something like that!" The young blond throws his hands up in the air, a scowl etched across his face. "Who does he think he is, huh? My dad? Hell, even my dad doesn't - ow, oww. Gosh, seriously..."

"You okay, Roxas?"

Roxas sighs tiredly, his hands reaching up to massage his temple. "Yeah. I don't know, I've been getting these headaches recently. Actually, they're not really headaches but like...sudden pain? It's weird, cause they're not migraines."

"Did you go to the doctor? Do you have a brain tumor? Is it cause Leonhart's stressing you out? Man, we have to report him to the dean or something - "

"I'm fine, Axel. Seriously, you bring everything back to Leonhart. He's just one professor - ahh," Roxas complains, tenderly cupping the back of his head. "Dude, it's like someone keeps hitting me over the head."

"Maybe it's a ghost."

"Haha, Axel, you're so funny," Roxas deadpans.

"Didn't you say it was your wrists last time?"

"Not my wrists, but like, my forearms? Here," Roxas says, rubbing the sides of his forearm. "And my knees too."

"Is it arthritis?"

"I'm 21, Axel, thank you very much."

"Maybe too much beach volleyball?"

"You always end up flirting with some girl halfway through so we stop playing."

"I think you're just getting old, Roxas."

"Thanks for being so helpful, Axel."