A/N: Full credit for the title and the nickname goes to KeianaLunae. The mention in a review tickled me so much I just had to do something with it; even at the ungodly hour of 1 AM EST.
Yes, the taskmaster (Lorne) is at it again. I might be allowed to sleep next year.
Enjoy!
The Evil OverLorne
Maybe it was the nice weather. Maybe it was the after celebration buzz. Maybe it was something they had eaten or had to drink at the feast. Major Lorne would probably never know exactly what started it, but he'd never forget how it ended.
He and his new team consisting of Lieutenants Shingleton, Cayton, and Keane were out on only their third off-world mission together since Lorne had lost Stevens and Walker. Lorne had specifically picked the three of them, though they had no idea why. And, if he was honest with himself, he didn't exactly know why either. For him it was something of a gut instinct after watching the three of them over the last few months that he'd been in Atlantis. The other two missions they'd had were pretty normal, quick recon missions. This one had turned into them dropping in unexpectedly on a civilization in the middle of a harvest festival. Despite it being a day's hike away from the gate, Weir and Sheppard had authorized them to stay and make friendly with the locals during the festival, and report back the next day.
After indulging in the festivities, they'd made their excuses and left shortly after dark; Major Lorne hoping to get them at least part way back to the gate before their morning hike. Wanting to get at least some sleep, they'd setup camp close to what they thought was a late enough hour for sleep. Apparently it wasn't late enough, Lorne considered as the three teammates sat chattering away quietly on the other side of the campfire. Of course, Keane was supposed to be on watch; but the other two felt the need to join him.
At first Lorne tuned out whatever they were saying. He knew he'd been a bit distant since they'd been working together, but that didn't seem to bother them. By this point everyone in the city knew of his recent losses, though no one ever discussed it. And, for many of them, he was still something of an unknown. He knew he wasn't the most social person when he was in a mood, and he had definitely been in a mood since losing Walker and Stevens; but seeing the three of them whispering excitedly with him only three meters away and totally left out almost irked him. Of course, a lot of things irked him irrationally lately.
"And then he….the Evil Overlord…otherwise…died laughing…oh and…"
He caught bits and pieces of the conversation even when he'd tried to tune them out. Heaving a sigh, Lorne gave up on sleep and rummaged through his tac vest for some water. The sudden silence on the other side of the campfire as three sets of eyes locked on him was almost comical. For a moment he could see the worry in their eyes wondering if he'd heard something they weren't wanting. For one brief moment he almost wanted to take advantage of the situation and do something wicked. But, truth be told, he wasn't in the mood.
Snickering, he crossed his legs and faced the fire. "Don't let me, interrupt. I'm just not as tired as I thought."
"Yes, sir," they said, warily. Glancing to one another, it was blatantly obvious either he'd been the source of their conversation, or they were genuinely concerned that what they were discussing could possibly get them into some kind of trouble with him.
For the second time, Lorne snickered. "I heard mention of an Evil Overlord. I don't suppose you three were discussing me, by any chance?"
That lightened things up. Cayton snickered. "No, sir."
"Too bad," Lorne told them, struggling to maintain a serious expression.
Shingleton and Keane glanced at each other questioningly before Keane explained, "We were discussing a prank someone pulled on Doctor Kavanaugh."
Lorne's brow furrowed as he tried to recall all the scientists that he'd met since he'd joined the expedition. "Not familiar with them. Should I be?"
"No, sir. You're one of the lucky ones, then," Cayton replied with a grimace at some recollection or another.
Now Lorne's eyebrows shot up. "That bad, huh?"
All three of them glanced to each other before nodding, obviously not trusting their mouths not to get them into trouble.
"You guys can talk, you know," Lorne said, taking another sip of his water and then capping it. "I'm not the type to go around handing out disciplinary actions without a damn good reason. So tell me about this prank."
The three of them glanced to one another again before Shingleton shrugged in a "well if one of us is going to hang might as well be me" kind of way. With a wicked grin he relayed a story of a plant with sedative properties, some white hair paste, some Wraith make-up, some really good screams, and a stunner. Apparently that incident had left the city tiptoeing around the then Major Sheppard for quite some time as the man struggled not to bring down disciplinary action on those he knew were responsible when all he wanted to do was congratulated them. Lorne just shook his head.
Amateurs, he thought to himself, but said nothing.
"You don't approve, sir?" Keane asked, obviously a bit more nervous than just relaying a story should have made him.
Eyeing the three of them closely in silence, Lorne debated. Catching sight of their nervous squirming he smiled and shook his head. Well, if he was going to lighten up the tension and get to know his new team, this was as good a way as any.
"I never said that," he finally told them. "If anything, I disapprove of the obvious flaws. But, it was my understanding you all were short on supplies the first year, and didn't have much to work with in the first place."
"Right, we didn't have…"
The two face palms to either side of him answered Lorne's question better than a confession. Chuckling, he shook his head and asked, "So, who's idea was it to send him screaming down the halls?"
"Keane's," Cayton confessed, seeing as they were already in this deep.
"Uh huh. And who was the Evil Overlord?"
With a poorly concealed snicker Shingleton answered, "Colonel Sheppard. He was still pretty new and establishing himself, so some of us had to give him a hard time."
"Right. I'm sure that went over well."
The trio of grimaces answered that.
"You've got me curious, sir," Keane finally asked, eyeing his team leader. "You said you disapprove of the flaws. So, what would you have done?"
Lorne got serious for a moment. He'd already turned the plan inside out in his head and come up with half a dozen scenarios. "This will never happen, and these words never leave this planet. Understood?"
"Yes, sir," they all agreed.
Settling on the one with the most impact he crossed his arms and began to speak. Fifteen minutes later three sets of eyes widened in horror were locked on him. For a few seconds after he finished all that could be heard was the crackling of the fire. Eventually the three had come to terms with the potential massive devastation of such an evil plot and turned to the others for confirmation that they'd just heard what they thought they'd heard. Seeing in their expressions they all grasped the outcome, Lorne sat back eyeing his team.
"Evil…" Keane said.
Shingleton shook his head. "Epic…"
Then the three of them turned back to him with matching grins. "Sir, you are just…wow," Cayton finally told him. "I get the feeling we're going to get along just fine."
"Evil OverLorne!" Shingleton spouted laughing.
"What?" Lorne asked.
"Dude, that so works!" Keane agreed as Cayton nodded enthusiastically.
"Did you seriously just call me…"
"Yes, sir. The Evil OverLorne," Shingleton repeated proudly.
Now Lorne did laugh. Yep, he was going to enjoy working with these guys. "Then it's a good thing for all our sakes it stays here on the planet along with everything else we just discussed."
For a moment the three of them looked disappointed. But they had all agreed. Lorne was ever so grateful he'd thought to mention that before he started. Otherwise this would have gotten back to Sheppard eventually. And he still had half a mind to prank the man one day. Giving warning by earning a reputation without proof would not help matters. For now, though, he would just have to be satisfied with evil plots that never came to fruition. Although, with these guys….
"Oh, and the next time you want to pull off a prank without earning a disciplinary action, clue me in. I'll see what I can do."
"Yes, sir!"
