New chapter guys. This one is a bit shorter than the others, but as always, I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 11: Conflicting Emotions
As the evening turns into night, my mind's still thinking about what just happened today. I can't believe I have to choose whether to be with her, or not, but… Why? I… I don't know how I can choose between the two. While I want to be free, my heart and mind is set being near Amy.
"Gah… It's so hard to choose!"
Feeling irritated, I decided to slow down, and stop at a nearby cliff off a nearby sea of water. I stare at the horizon, admiring it's beauty.
"It's looking pretty nice out tonight."
I started to daydream about Amy and I being here together, staring off into the horizon.
"That sounds nice…"
I came back into reality and shook off my images of her. I tried to endure my desire to be with her as I started pacing back and forth.
"I can't stop thinking about her… Why is that…"
My mind can't stop doing it, Neither can my heart stop from pounding. I felt my mental state getting bad, as this feeling got stronger inside of me. I was so accustomed to being free, my will was not going to let go of it, so began the battle of my will versus my heart and mind: A 2 on 1 fight, with the advantage being on my mind and heart.
"Why is it so hard…"
I felt my heartbeat get stronger, and faster again, like it did when Amy got close to me.
"Why…? Why can't I break free from her grasp!? It's not that hard! Is it!?"
I started to stomp my foot on the ground, but this warmth that I feel is overwhelming. It's unlike any other feeling that I've felt before, and before I knew it, I started to breathe heavily. I held my head with both hands, as I closed my eyes, just imagining her smiling face, and the times we spent together, all the while I was on my knees, struggling to get her out of my mind.
"Come on, Sonic! This can't be happening to you! You've got to let her go! You can't let her charms get to you!"
But it was too late. The moment I grew interested in her was the moment I fell in love with her. My heart was pounding. I felt my breath get heavier with each inhale and exhale motions. I held my chest, and put my head to the soft grass that was blowing in the wind. My mind was driving me crazy as my will struggled to win the fight.
"No… No, no, no! Please! Stop! Not me!"
I began pounding the ground with my fist as my tears started forming.
"I can't take it anymore! This isn't me… This can't be me! I won't accept this! I won't damnit!"
I kept on pounding the ground, but my desire to be with her was stronger than my willpower to be free.
"No… Stop… Please… I… I…"
I hit the ground for about 30 minutes. Soon I grew tired. My fist was numb, and I found myself standing on my knees with my tears falling before my eyes.
"I can't help it… It's too strong..."
At that moment, I began to picture her. Amy Rose. As beautiful as a rose itself. I can feel my heart pounding at it's strongest as I looked up into the full moon with teary eyes.
"Amy… Why… Why did you have to fall in love with me…? How did you ever come to like me, a guy who prefers not staying tied to anyone? How? After all these years, you kept coming after me..."
I began remembering when we first met, and the times we went on adventures together. I wiped my tears away, and slowly began to accept it. I yawned and stretched my arms and legs, before looking up into the moonlight. I then remembered what Tails said about that feeling of love.
"Tails… This precious feeling you've felt when Cosmo was with you… The one you told me about… Is this what it feels like…?"
I closed my eyes, and remembered the times when Tails and Cosmo spent time together every chance they got. I wonder if that's how it will be like when Amy and I be when we're finally together. I thought about it for a moment, and smiled before laughing.
"I think I'm going crazy, but… That's not a bad thing… Is it? I'm glad Tails was the first one to know about it… If someone else found out about it, I don't know what I'd do..."
Suddenly I hear some noise coming from behind me. I quickly get up, and turn around to take a look. Instead of feeling strong, I feel scared, that someone was watching me. It couldn't be could it? Did he/she watch the whole thing? I started to get angry.
"Who's there!? Show yourself, or I'll come in there!"
I waited 10 seconds, before patting my foot on the ground.
"Alright! I'm coming in there!"
I took off at light speed, and searched the entire forest for anyone still in there. I then heard a familiar voice.
"Sonic! Are you in there!? You've been gone for hours! I'm really worried about you, you know!"
It was Amy's voice. My heart began fluttering again as I followed the sound of her voice.
"I guess confessing to her will have to wait. As of right now, I'm still uncomfortable with this whole love thing, but I wonder if Tails can give me advice on how to love someone."
As I exited the forest, I see Amy waiting for me. When I get closer to her, I see her tears flowing, and her eyes were red. It looks like she was crying about something.
"Hey, Amy. Why are you crying?"
Amy wipes her tears, and looks away from me.
"Nothing. I just… Got really worried… That you went for a run because of me."
"Oh… No. I just had a headache. I told Tails to tell you that."
"He did, but I couldn't help but worry about you, Sonic. You know me."
"Yeah. We've been together for years."
I get an idea about how to make her happy.
"I know! How about we take a walk?"
She nods at me, blushing.
"Sure. I'd like that."
So we walk. I don't know where, but wherever the wind takes us, it's fine for me. I dig into my thoughts on how to go about this, as Amy walks alongside me. What should I talk about? I can't talk about what just happened moments ago. That'd be way too embarrassing, and even a little strange if you put my sudden episode in another category. Hopefully, nobody saw that, especially Amy. She might think that my sudden internal struggle will be because of her.
What do you guys think of this chapter? Did you understand why Sonic had his episode and his battle? So many questions! I already have started Chapter 12, so stay tuned for the next upload, which will possibly be tomorrow, or Friday.
