The Doctor: I saw the Fall of Troy! World War Five! I was pushing boxes at the Boston Tea Party! Now I'm gonna die in a dungeon.... [disgustedly] in Cardiff!
-Series 1, The Unquiet Dead
Ninth Doctor.
The Doctor frowned. "Well, you see," he said," I'm not really sure what you mean." He glanced over at Rose and winked. "Don't you worry, Rose," he said. "Everything's going to be just fine."
Rose took another look around, keeping her hands very still. As in, oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-there-are-HUGE-guns still. "Doctor, are you really sure-"
"Doctor?!" said the horned fellow. "So we did get the one we were looking for?" He stepped closer. "You don't LOOK like the Doctor, but I've heard he's looked different bef-"
The Doctor stepped forward suddenly, mouth in an indignant line, eyes flashing. "You are mistaken! This girl is my patient." He stepped quickly over to the creature's side, causing him and several others around him to flinch. "She's a little slow, her mum asked me to watch over her. Calls me 'Doctor', gets annoying sometimes but what can you do?" Glancing over the creature's shoulder, he said, "Wow. Is that what I think it is?" He took a few rapid strides and in one fluid motion, had a large, humming rifle out of a lizard-skinned creature's hands. The others suddenly backed off, hissing, growling and making other threatening sounds as they brought their weapons to the ready.
The Doctor didn't even seem to be paying attention; his whole focus was on the rifle he was holding length-wise and studying. "Rose, would you look at this! It's..." He looked up for a second and gave an annoyed tsk. "Rose, would you look at me when I'm talking to you?" He shot the leader of the aliens an eye-rolling 'See?' look, then turned back.
"Alright Doctor, I'm looking, what is it?"
"I haven't seen a piece like this in centuries! You see this inscription here, and these iridium etchings here," he said, holding it up to show her a plate on the side of the barrel (with the muzzle toward his chest), "this was one of only ten thousand sesso-blasters ever turned out by Baloias of Occar! You just can't get one in this condition anymore. Fantastic!" He turned to the lizard man and handed it back, at the same time running amongst the others and examining their weapons. "A Throkian Thunderblaze Mark Fifteen!" "How were you able to get a Valtran-made seismo-beam? I thought they were all destroyed!" The creatures, while still flustered, were starting to look a bit pleased at such open and frank admiration of their weapons.
"Doctor!" Rose said. "I thought- I mean, you hate war and stuff, right?! What are you doing?"
"Oh come now, Rose!" The Doctor looked up from a bell-flared firing apparatus. "I don't have to like war to appreciate good craftsmanship!" He stepped back. "That's right, gentlemen," he said, beaming, "this is one of the finest collections of compact siege weaponry I have seen in hundreds of years. And that's saying something!"
"What the blazes do you think you're doing?!" shouted the horned alien. He stepped forward, but suddenly found himself face to face with the Doctor. His friendly demeanor was entirely gone.
"That's right!" he said, his eyes only inches away from the other's and like to be boring holes through him. "Siege weapons. Even one fired off in this room would turn it and everything else in a twenty-yard sphere into molten rock and vapor. Could you imagine what twelve at once could achieve?"
"This is crazy! Men-"
"You're damn right it's crazy!" shouted the Doctor. Rose just stared. His face had turned red, and his hands had curled into white-knuckled fists. "It's crazy to try to kidnap Time Lords. It's crazy to carry armed siege weapons indoors. And it's crazy to think that no one would notice that of all of you, you're the only one wearing a personal force field!" During his tirade, the Doctor had pulled his sonic screwdriver from his jacket. With his final words, he flashed his hand forward and trained it on the creature's waist.
With a WRRRR, and then a screeching and a PLKAM!, a flash of sparks and a puff of brilliant green smoke came from the horned ones midsection. It fell back with a harsh gasp, landing solidly on its bottom.
"You make me sick. Planning all along to kill off your own men, were you? How much were you going to get for... ah, forget it." He turned toward the others. "Deal with him however you want. And for God's sakes, disarm those things!"
Rose was still standing there, shocked, as the Doctor brushed by her. He took a few more steps, turned, and gave an exasperated sigh. "Rose!"
She shook herself and turned around. "Um, yes Doctor."
He elaborately pointed with both hands, and gave a nod toward the TARDIS. "Time to go?" He grinned suddenly, beckoned, and stepped over through the doors.
"Right!" She hurried after him, as the sound of angry argument grew louder in the hallway. There were the sounds of several small-caliber guns being armed just as she slammed the doors and locked them. She leaned back against them, gasping for breath, then walked into the main console room. The Doctor had already pulled off several panels from the underside of it, and was digging amongst the wiring.
"Doctor, is there something I can do?"
He paused, sticking his head out from under. "Actually, there is. Could you give that thing two good pumps for me, then press the second blue button to the left when I say 'now'?"
"Um, okay," she said, positioning herself. She coughed. "What did that... er... man mean that you had looked different before?"
There was a snort from below the console. "Humans. Running for our lives in a damaged ship and they want to know about somebody's inane comment. Look, I'll explain later, really," he said. "Just hold on... Er. NOW!"
Rose blinked, then hurriedly gave the two quick pumps and pressed the button. There was a shower of red sparks from another panel as the Doctor rolled out from under the console, and a klaxon from above went off. The Doctor dove for the controls, pushing her aside as he gave several knobs a twist, pumped five more times, then ran to the other side to punch in some keys. Rose opened her mouth to say something, but the ship lurched, and she staggered. When she straightened up again, the klaxon had died down, and the familiar whoop and dancing green light of travel suffused the room.
"There we go," said the Doctor. He wasn't smiling. "We should be fine for the moment, but there's some things that could use looking into- Gah!" He fell half to his knees, clutching his head. Rose stepped forward, but he waved her away. "N-no, I've got- I must have gotten the neutron polari- no!" He lurched against the console, hands racing amongst the controls. "Must..." His hand found and pulled a switch.
Almost immediately, he was back to his feet, piloting the ship. "Emergency counter-psychic protocol," he said over his shoulder. "Look, I know you won't understand half of this, so I'll try to explain as we go along. All I can say right now is someone's mucking about with my time lines. I don't know why, but I have my suspicions..." He turned another knob, then brightened. "Ah, I think I know just the place to start looking."
He turned to Rose. "I think you'll like this." He grinned, pushed up a large lever to the half-way mark, then turned two dials at once.
"Hang on!"
