A/N:
I really only broke Ch's 23 and 24 into two chapters because otherwise it seemed WAY too long.
Almost forgot: WickedWitchoftheSE -- thank you! I don't understand who could say that Jack/Ianto fans would love CoE, either. It pretty effectively killed them off... literally... but that's what fanfiction is for ;-) (And this one is for all the people who want Jack and Ianto to have happily ever after for more years to come!)
Chapter Twenty Four
Day Five, Part Two
"When you smiled you had my undivided attention.
When you laughed you had my urge to laugh with you.
When you cried you had my urge to hold you.
When you said you loved me, you had my heart forever."
A swift, soft rush of air filled his lungs, his heart beat in his ears…darkness filled his vision… his eyes were open, but the room is dark… you will die and tomorrow your people will hand over the children… His heart beat faster and he gulped in more stale air. Was it tomorrow, or had tomorrow come and gone already? Was it too late? How long…? Where was he?
As he sat up, Jack realized he wasn't alone. There was someone sitting in a chair next to him, asleep. He smiled, relaxed just a little. Ianto. He was there. Just like he'd promised he would always be.
But where were they?
As his eyes grew accustomed to the dark, he was able to take better stock of his surroundings. He was sitting on a cot in some sort of…a wave of cold fear washed over him. The rooms had all the earmarks of a military hospital... an infirmary... the walls were dull... dank. There were no windows... he would be anything the door was locked. That could only mean one thing. "Ianto!" he hissed softly. It was one thing for him to have been caught, but not Ianto, not him. He could survive anything, but… "Ianto?" please let him just be asleep…
The Welshman's eyes fluttered open. "Hey," he greeted him with a smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to doze off…" he glanced at his watch. He hadn't been asleep for more than twenty minutes.
"Are you all right, have they hurt you?"
"I'm fine—Jack—Cariad—"
He was already starting to get up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "How long?"
"Just a few hours. There's still time to stop them—Jack you need to stop and listen to me," he caught him before he got up; he recognized the look of wild panic in the older man's blue eyes, the sound of it in his voice.
He closed his eyes and drew in another ragged breath. He'd only been gone a few hours. They still had time. All they had to do was get out of there… but… "What are you doing here? You were supposed to stay with Sarah Jane," where it was safe… "Seren? Jason?"
"They're safe, Jack. They're with Luke and your mother and they're some place safe, I promise you. Abby and Bobby stayed behind at Sarah Jane's. I came here to be with you and…and the rest of the team."
"What? Where are we? Who…?"
"Jack, listen to me. It's all right."
"Frobisher?" had he finally come to his senses?
He shook his head. "The woman, the one…" the younger man couldn't say it. He couldn't believe he'd been willing to trust her, that Gwen had, not after everything she'd done. But what choice did they have? "Her name is Johnson," he said, aware of how cold his tone was, how bitter. "She says she wants our help. She didn't know…she was just following orders before, going on what Frobisher had been telling her. Jack, he's been out to infiltrate us for at least he last two years."
"What?"
"Johnson told me that Patanjali was a plant, a mole… look, that doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you're back," he reached out and took his hand, twining his fingers into his. "She was my best bet for getting you out of Thames House without putting anyone else at risk, so I agreed to work with her, to bring the rest of the team here along with some guy who says he's been studying the 456 for the last forty years."
Jack smiled, he couldn't help it. "I hope saving the world factored into your decision to cooperate with this Johnson woman, just a little," he teased. Having his partner's hand in his felt so incredibly good, especially after the last few days, after everything that had come out about his involvement in what had happened in nineteen sixty-five.
He returned his smile. "Saving the world may have factored in just little bit," he teased right back. He leant in; the other met his kiss half way, returned it. Deepened it.
Jack cupped his face and drew him in closer still, holding onto him. He knew there was a planet to save, but…
"I love you, Cariad," the younger man whispered when their lips parted; he didn't pull any further away than was absolutely necessary to speak. "I love you with all of my heart. I know that what happened in nineteen sixty-five must have been eating away at you all these years. You're a good man, Jack. It must have killed you to be involved in something like that, to feel like you were responsible—to feel you had to make the choice between twelve children and millions of people. But you weren't responsible. It wasn't your decision. And if you were afraid to tell me about it because you thought I wouldn't forgive you…" he pressed his lips to the other's mouth, a soft, reassuring kiss. "Don't ever be afraid of that."
"I've lived a long time and I've done a lot of things, Ianto, not all of them—"
He cut him off with another kiss. "I know. But the thing is, if I ever have to chose between finding a way to forgive you for something you've done and living the rest of my life without you because I wasn't able to forgive you—that's an easy choice, Jack. I love you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Nothing in my life has ever felt so right as this," he reached down twined his fingers into Jack's again.
Jack closed his eyes and let his forehead lean against the younger man's forehead; he breathed in his scent. Held his hand. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough to tell you. I should have. I—I can't promise that I'll tell you everything, there's just too much of it too tell, but I can—I do—promise that I will tell you anything you ever want to know. All you have to do is ask." His tone was hopeful, it was the best he could do, and he wanted, needed, it to be good enough. He just wasn't sure it would be.
Ianto had closed his eyes as well; he inhaled deeply, those fifty first century pheromones. He held onto his hand, and in that moment he felt more connected to his husband than he had since they'd returned to their own time.
"Ianto…?"
He heard the uncertainty in the other man's tone and tilted his head to kiss him, just lightly. "I can accept that Cariad. And I promise you that there is nothing you can tell me that would ever change how much I love you."
"How can you—?" how could anyone possibly be as sure of something, of anything, as his young Welshman had sounded just then.
He opened his eyes. "If my choice is to forgive you or lose you, than it really isn't a choice at all, Jack. I choose you, without question," he repeated. "Now come on," his grinned, "let's go save the world one more time."
…………………………………………………….
As Ianto led the way towards the mess, Jack felt like whatever it was that had gotten itself wedged between them when they came home to their own time was finally gone. He could breathe again. He could…
"Uncle Jack!" the boy darted away from his mother like a torpedo.
Jack caught Steven up in his arms, acutely aware of the fact that his entire team had stopped what they were doing on the other side of the room and were looking at him. Expectantly. He didn't dare look at them or at the man next to him. Instead, he focused his attention on his grandson, hugging him tightly, grateful that he and Alice seemed to be all right. "Hey there, solider, what're you doing here?" he asked Steven, even though he knew the answer. Alice was on her way over; her expression was difficult to read.
"That's a rather long story," she informed him as she reached for her son. "I'm sure you can guess most of it." Her tone was just shy of scathing.
Jack handed the reluctant boy over to his mother. "Are you two all right?" he asked her.
She merely nodded.
"I've made loads of new friends!" Steven told him; he either didn't notice or didn't understand his mother's icy attitude.
"Oh have you?" Jack glanced around at his team. It didn't take a genius to figure out what they'd pieced together, the assumptions they'd come to…
"Are you all right?" Alice asked him softly, the ice cracking just a little.
He had no doubt she was aware of the condition he'd been in when he was brought in. "We'll talk later," he told her quietly.
"What's to talk about?" she said. She cast a brief look in the direction of the man standing next to him, then turned and took Steven back to where they'd been sitting.
Jack cleared his throat.
"Well. That was awkward," Ianto observed. He was aware of Gwen's eyes on him... Martha's… the glare Sara was giving Jack. If looks could kill Jack would be dead all over again.
"Ianto, I…" Jack faltered. Bracing himself, he met his Welshman's gaze, but whatever he was thinking, he was keeping it hidden beneath an air tight veneer of civility. Professionalism. (Thankfully, someone suggested to the rest of the team that they get back to work and they had, buying him just a few more seconds.) "It's not what you think," he finally said to his partner.
"I'm sure I don't think anything, Sir."
The world bottomed out again. "Ianto…" but the soft touch of the younger man's fingers brushing up against his stopped his apology before it got out of his throat and brought the world back up into its place again.
"Whatever it is, it doesn't matter, Jack," he said softly, sincerely. "You said it yourself, you've lived a long time and done a lot of things," he glanced towards Alice. She met his gaze, held it for just a moment, then looked away. There was hostility there. Anger. Hurt. "I suspect it isn't me you owe an apology to," he added, wondering if the boy was really Jack's; it was fairly obvious that at least Gwen and Martha thought he was. Sara, too…hell, they probably all did. He was secretly, silently, relieved Abby was only present via webcam. If she were there, she wouldn't be quietly going about her job pretending to ignore the elephant in the room.
Jack cleared his throat again, mostly it seemed to kick start his own vocal cords. "My relationship with Alice and Steven is complicated," he said quietly.
"No doubt."
Exasperated, he pulled the younger man back into the hallway, away from the others because no matter how hard they seemed to be trying, they were still staring. "She's not some old girlfriend, Ianto. She's my daughter. That makes Seven my grandson."
He blinked, caught completely off guard. "All right. I did not see that coming," he admitted. "Why haven't you ever mentioned them to me before?"
"I'm sorry," he said, instead of explaining.
Ianto searched his face a moment, realizing the tone he'd just taken. He made the conscious effort to soften his expression. Not ten minutes ago, he'd promised Jack that he could tell him anything but he wasn't making that very easy at the moment, and he knew it. "I'm not angry," even as he said the words, he knew they were absolutely true. Whatever the situation was, it was obviously as hurtful to Jack as it was for his daughter. "I'm just asking you to tell me why you never mentioned her to me before, that's all," he said in a carefully neutral tone. "You said… we've talked about Laura. About Roan. Why not them?" This was in the recent past… Alice looked about forty.
"Because Alice's mother and I were never married," Jack told him. "We weren't even together long. It didn't take long for Lucia to decide she didn't want to grow old in front of me," he gave over a pained, speculative look, clearly wondering how long it would take Ianto to do the same. It was inevitable, wasn't it?
The younger man twined his fingers tighter into his partner's, taking his hand properly into his. He knew that was one of Jack's biggest fears, he just hadn't known that it had happened before. (His other fear, of course, was that he wouldn't live long enough to grow old. Damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, Ianto thought.) "What happened?" he asked.
The other shrugged. "She told me to stay away from them, so I stayed away. What should I have done?" he asked to the look the other was giving him. "Forced my way into their lives?" He shook his head. "I stayed away for both their sakes and I didn't tell you about them because I didn't think it was relevant, I'm sorry." His tone was harsh, but the hurt, the grief in those blue eyes broke his partner's heart. He knew Jack. He knew how much he loved his children, how much he hated it that he'd missed out on so much of Jason's life, missed out on all of his and Laura's daughters' lives completely. With Alice's mother, he must have thought he finally had a chance to have a family, just a little slice of normal, only to have it stolen away again when she left him.
Ianto rubbed his thumb along his husband's fingers, a gentle caress, a reminder of the promise that he would always be there. "Do you see your daughter much now that she's grown?" he inquired softly.
"Alice doesn't want me in her life, or Steven's. Come on," he said, in a forcibly lighter tone, "we have work to do."
The Welshman nodded, but before he let go of his husband's hand, he gave it a last quick squeeze, a silent reassurance that he wasn't going to let this come between them. "I love you, Jack," he said softly.
He stopped. Looked at him. Really looked at him, as if he was searching for something... finally he just closed his eyes. Took a breath. "I love you too. No matter what..."
"Jack, I love you and I am never going to leave you."
"Promise?" his tone was so plaintive. So hopeful.
Ianto smiled. "Cross my heart."
