"Come on Adam, stop being an arse and let me in, it's bleeding taters out 'ere"

Fuck, she had been going to tell him but now it was bleeding obvious that he already knew, big gob Lisa had obviously beaten her to it, why the fuck hadn't she rung him yesterday? She'd meant to, but then forgotten, her mind had been on other stuff, shit. She might of known that Lisa would have rushed to tell him like shit off a shovel. Bollocks.

"What, lover boy not with you?"

"Nah, come on, I'm gonna catch me bleeding death out 'ere"

"Where is he then, gone home to …..where is it now? Windsor bloody Castle?"

"Course, how did you know? Tell you what I could 'ave gone with him if I'd wanted, wish I had now … but no, bleeding Muppet me, I thought I'd come and see you instead, you gonna let me in or shall we keep talking through this bleeding thing 'n then all the sodding neighbours can join in?"

She'd been putting off doing what she'd said she was going to do and had instead found herself walking up the High Street to the flat. It wasn't that she didn't want to see her mum, or the rest of them come to that, even if she didn't want to spend hours listening to her dad telling her what a loser she was and how she fucked it all up again and it wasn't even true that she didn't think of it as home, she did, sort of, they'd always be her bloody family, even though she'd never really felt like they were there for her, as the Smurfoid would have said.

It was the thought of telling them about the fucking mess she'd made of …. well everything, of Adam and then telling them about Charles ….. all made her blood run cold. She had to come up with some sort of explanation, which served her right of course, she should have thought it through and told the bleeding truth in the first place, but that was being wise after the event and she hadn't, god knows why now, and she didn't know where to start, or what the actual fuck she was going to say to get out of Christmas either. Going on her own was one way, but then she'd most likely have to spend the whole time listening to them going on and on about how lovely Adam was, and how stupid she was, anyhow she wanted to spend it with Charles, obviously, but just as obviously not in Bath again if she had anything to do with it. She couldn't imagine taking him to east Ham with her either. That was simply not going to happen. Maybe they could spend it at his place in Ash, they could have spaghetti with sauce from a jar or a stir fry for Christmas dinner. Not going to happen either, not with him having Sam to think about.

The journey to Guildford had been the usual for a Sunday, bloody tedious and she was now wishing she'd gone back to barracks instead and put her head down for a couple of hours, caught up on her sleep and then she could have called her mum later when she'd be more up to it but she was here now and she did need to sort her shit that was still cluttering his place, and anyway she had wanted to tell him herself about being back with Charles. She felt like she owed him that much, bloody Lisa and her big gob.

There was a long silence as Molly stood and waited, stamping her cold feet on the pavement and struggling to keep her gob shut, it was getting harder and harder to keep a hold of her temper. She was very cold and very tired and very fed up with the whole shitty bastarding mess. Why had she lied? And she was horribly guilty that she hadn't been up front and honest with Charles either about where she was heading and at the way Adam was keeping her outside on the bloody pavement so that people were looking, it looked like she was trying to flog him religion or something.

She would have told Charles about her stuff being in Adam's flat and about needing to see about it, but it didn't matter how much he'd said he wasn't bothered about him, she didn't quite believe him anymore, not like she had at first. She'd been so relieved she'd taken what he'd said at face value, had believed it because she wanted to believe it, until Lisa had said all that stuff and then her and Charles had had a bit of a chat and she'd seen the way he looked at the floor when she was telling him and the way his voice had gone all … careful …. and she'd realised that he didn't think it was as funny as he'd made out.

Adam eventually pushed the buzzer and let her in and had opened the front door of the flat but he'd disappeared inside somewhere so that Molly stood in the hall outside and rapped on the frame with her knuckles and called out, wondering whether it would be ….. okay if she just waltzed in and shouted for him to stick the kettle on, pretended that it was still the same as it had been before. It weren't so long ago she'd have just used the keys that were lurking somewhere in the crap at the bottom of her bag with the used bus tickets and old receipts and the crumpled tissues with loads of furry fruit pastilles stuck on them, she would have just let herself in and wouldn't even have thought of using the entry-phone thing in the first place, but doing that felt all wrong now somehow. And anyway she couldn't just bowl in, Adam might have been entertaining.

"Look, it weren't like you didn't know about me and him, and I didn't know he was gonna be out there at the same time as me did I? Or that, you know, we'd get back together or …. and that didn't happen till we got home …. 'n I don't know why I'm telling you all this, do I? Come on Adam, it's not like you to get all shitty with me is it? Well, it is…" She raised her eyebrows and giggled at him "But, not over this, I mean, it's not like you and me …. I know I should of sorted moving me stuff out by now, but I've only been back couple of days and I've been a bit busy …. 'n I need to shut up now don't I?"

"Yeah, anyone ever told you, you talk too much?"

"Sorry, only when I'm upset"

It had been a huge relief to find Adam in the kitchen putting tea bags in two mugs even though he kept his back turned as he waited for the kettle to boil and then even more of a relief when he looked back over his shoulder and grinned his trademark goofy grin, the one that told her that whatever it was had got up his nose had gone. This was the Adam she knew and …. loved .. he didn't get arsey with anyone about anything, he was too nice, or too lazy, to get a cob on for long.

"You're right, it is none of my fucking business, spent too much time listening to that gobby mate of yours in the bar last night, I see you did the walk of shame this morning, good night last night was it?"

He nodded his head towards what he could see of her short black dress with Charles' sweater over it as she hung her parka on the door knob. She'd lived with Adam long enough for him to know her wardrobe, and that she was wearing her best 'dressy' dress, or in fact her only 'dressy' dress.

"Yeah thanks, was, a bit, and sorry about you having Lisa give you earache, it's none of her business" She nodded her thanks at him as he handed her a mug of tea and grinned "We went to a party"

"Dirty little stop out" Adam clinked his mug against hers "Cheers, good party then I take it?"

"Yeah it was"

"Good" He gave her another of wide loopy smiles "Listen, Princess, I know you're a bit pissed at Lisa, …. and I reckon you've got good reason, but don't be mad at me, okay?"

"I'm not, thought it was you was mad at me"

"No, I know you're a bloody hopeless case, and she does care about you, even if hanging around with her gets you into all sorts of stupid shit, and I can see from the look on your gob that you're all loved up. But I know you, I know you'll be careful and that you won't forget he made you fucking miserable last time, so, you'll ….. watch it …. you'll watch yourself … won't you, and you won't let him ….. make things all …. shitty for you again" He shook his head "We don't want any more peach schnapps do we?"

"He's not gonna hurt me again, honest Adam you don't need to worry about it, I can look after meself ….. 'n yeah Lisa is a bit of a bloody liability but she means well …. mostly …. and as for all that other shit, he don't need to know about any of that does he? I 'aven't exactly told him"

"No, why would he need to know about that?"

That night had been a turning point for Molly. The two of them had sat at the kitchen table and sunk a bottle of peach schnapps between them, her half on a stomach containing precisely one handful of Pringles and nothing else so it had seemed like the perfect solution to her misery and loneliness. A whole year had gone since she'd well and truly fucked things up with Charles and here she was still missing him and Adam was ….. there, and she was fond of him and they'd talked for ages about how Charles had most likely moved on. Adam had been surprising well up for it on his half of the bottle, so they'd started having a snog, a snog which would undoubtedly have led to … more … but she'd had to call a halt and stagger to the bathroom to throw up … . And then, when she'd eventually stopped hugging the toilet bowl and had stood up she'd had to hold onto the wall with one hand, shivering and shaking and bathed in cold sweat, she'd found Adam out cold and snoring on the sofa. Feeling like seven shades of shit Molly had crept under the duvet and prayed for a quick death, or at least for the bed to stop shifting itself round and round and up and down.

They had never actually mentioned it again, even when they'd come face to face in the kitchen the following day both ashen-faced and desperate for tea, even if neither of them could guarantee it would stay put. They'd had a sort of unspoken pact to not only never, ever go there again but never to tell anyone about it no matter how ratted they got, the same way that they'd vowed to never, ever touch schnapps again, ever. Although Adam swore blind that the bottle had been in the cupboard for so long it must have gone off and that they were suffering from some form of food poisoning.

"Well he wouldn't but I'd quite like …. Well, think it would be good if you met him, 'n I think he'd like to meet you, so if I bring him to the bar you promise you won't say anything about any of it? I mean not even in a joking sort of way ….?"

"Of course not, and if you hang on a bit I'll work out how much it'll cost you in a min….."

"Fuck off, Patterson" She giggled "You know why Lisa told you don't you?"

"No? Oh no, no, Princess" He stuck his fingers in his ears "Don't pull that face, no, not bloody Lisa, any of your other mates, fine, I could probably give it a …" He shrugged "But not her, she'd drive me round the fucking bend in a week, all the bollocks that comes out of her mouth"

"She fancies you"

"She does not … Oh shit, does she? Fuck"

"Just sayin'"

-OG-

He'd committed a serious breach of the expected norms of polite behaviour as far as his father was concerned by being extremely late for lunch which made the atmosphere between them somewhat frosty to say the least when he'd eventually arrived. His phone call blaming heavy traffic and the road works for his delayed arrival hadn't really cut any ice with someone who prized punctuality as much as his father did, he'd always refer to it as a supreme virtue and was of the opinion that delays were only ever a problem if you didn't leave enough time to allow for the unexpected, leaving early enough was always the answer … His father certainly wouldn't have been impressed if he'd known that Charles had been late setting off because he'd been delayed by his need to take a shower with Molly, and that one thing had somehow led to another and then for some reason the time had sped past …. .

"Sorry Mum, I know I'm late, hope nothing's spoiled" He did a credible impression of the Bisto Kid sniff "Smells good" He nodded at his father who cleared his throat before muttering something about it 'being about time' before he marched off to the dining room to ostensibly check the wine harrumphing to himself and muttering something that could have been, but wasn't necessarily, 'Happy Birthday'.

"Happy birthday son" His mother pecked him on the cheek but then stood holding the front door wide open putting her head out to peer up and down the empty street, she sounded puzzled "On your own?"

"Yup …..why? Who were you expecting? ….. Oh right, Shelley" He snorted "Surprised she can remember to be honest"

"She can't remember your … friend's …. name, but from what she said it sounded a lot … well, a lot like … sorry, you don't have to tell me"

"No I know I don't" His teeth were firmly clamped onto his bottom lip drawing it into his mouth as he smiled with affection at his mother and patted her arm before putting his head back and roaring with laughter, knowing that he was annoying the fuck out of her by not telling her what she was dying to know "Come on, what's for lunch? Smells wonderful and I'm starving"

His mother's curiosity had been palpable throughout the roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, the apple pie and the coffee so that eventually even his father had noticed and had snapped at her, demanding to know what she was talking about. All her little cryptic comments and pointed remarks betrayed an expectation to her curiosity that Charles had no intention of satisfying until it suited him and he'd decided that the fun had gone out of teasing her.

Seeing Sam had been as fulfilling as he'd expected, his son had made him a card at school which he handed over with an expression on his face as if he'd just handed him the hope diamond and had then stood there with an expectant expression waiting for the admiration and extravagant praise for his artwork, which he got in spades. Once he'd got that out of the way Sam had launched into a barrage of excited chatter falling over his words in his desperate need to tell his dad every little thing that had happened to make him happy or which had been a disaster during the time Charles had been away. He was like a demented little butterfly hopping from one foot to the other and from one topic to the next in his excitement and in a frenzy of telling, but most of what he said just underlined for Charles how much of Sam's life he'd been missing out on, he'd never even heard of most of the people and events his little boy was babbling on about.

Ice cool Rebecca had nodded and handed him a tasteful birthday card before confirming what time she'd be picking Sam up and had gone towards the front door to exit with a glacial nod at his parents before she stopped and asked him whether he was well, it was very obviously an afterthought. He knew the two women really were chalk and cheese which made meaningful comparisons impossible, and that comparisons were odious anyway, but he couldn't remember ever feeling a fraction of the passion coupled with the burning need to protect for the blonde woman in front of him that he had been married to, that was the mother of his child, that he felt for Molly. He wished more than anything she'd let him change her mind for her and that she had come with him.

He'd been well on his way back towards Ash Green when the thought that had been niggling at the back of his mind ever since he'd looked at Rebecca and thought of Molly, had hit him with a vengeance. A big bit of him dismissed it immediately, she wouldn't, but there was still enough doubt niggling away and he didn't know how he felt about it, except that he needed to ask her the first chance he got.

"Hello gorgeous"

"Hello, had a nice birthday?"

"Ohhhhhh yes, I had a … wonderful birthday, thank you for asking"

"Welcome, did you get anything nice?"

"Yup, but I don't think I'd better tell you over the phone, I could come and collect you, it's not that late"

"I meant did your mummy buy you a shirt?" She giggled at the obvious inference in his words "And it is bleeding late, I'm already in bed, it's been a long day what with going to see me mum 'n everything"

"How was she?"

"Fine ….. I think … bit hard to know cos she's not actually speaking to me now, well none of them are"

"Why?"

"Me own fault for lying in the first place, but they didn't take it well, the news about me and Adam I mean, I shouldn't have let them think it was all …."

Her voice petered out as she ran out of words to describe the horror and bewilderment that had greeted her bald statement to her mother that her and Adam were no longer, that they'd got a divorce. She'd taken a deep breath and screwed up her courage and just told her but Belinda hadn't begun to understand which was hardly surprising as Molly couldn't quite bring herself to tell her what had really gone on in Vegas. So her mum had swung between being all tearful and dead sympathetic, sorry for her and being bloody annoyed that she obviously hadn't tried hard enough. She'd kept on saying that he was lovely and that she was sure he would come back if Molly said sorry for whatever it was had upset him, and that it didn't matter whether it was her fault or not. Molly had kept on shrugging and shaking her head which, together with her total lack of remorseful tears, had eventually wound her mum up enough to make her drag the rest of the family into it. Molly had, of course, flounced out and had slammed the door behind her so was now dreading having to make the obligatory phone call to apologise, even if she didn't feel like she had anything to say sorry for, why was she always the one who was in the wrong?

-OG-

A/N: Thank you for your ongoing support – I know I've said it before, but it really is what keeps me going. Hope everyone has a nice weekend.